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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 21, 2011 15:29:39 GMT -5
I sat in my study. It felt colder than normal, darker than normal, despite the warmth of the sun that poured in from outside. It was as if the rays couldn't reach my eyes.
It is one thing to mourn a person, another to mourn a close relative, and yet another thing entirely to feel that you are the one to blame. It had been committed to me to keep my sister safe, to be a positive influence on her. I was suposed to shelter her and guard her and hopefully change her. I had failed in that, and in my failure I had allowed her to die.
She was so young and full of promise. She had made some horrid choices, some that frankly angered me, but there was hope. Now that hope was gone and I was the one to blame.
I hadn't talked about this with anyone, seldom seeing anything other than my room or my study. But I would need to soon and, oddly and obviously, the first person that came to mind was Sophie. I had no idea what she might be going through, though I doubted it could amount to the guilt that I knew.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 23, 2011 1:26:15 GMT -5
When the news came of my sister's death... no, my sister's murder, I went numb. Horrendously numb. She had barely arrived in the capital, and now she was dead, her body found discarded in the palace stables. I shut down because I didn't know how to deal with the loss. My baby sister, who I had helped raise after Papa had died, who I remember being born... It was hard to believe she was gone. Some days I didn't.
I knocked on the door to my brother's study, for he had sent for me. In some detached part of my mind, I knew I looked dazed, undone like so many of the soldiers and sailors I had treated during the war.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 23, 2011 12:17:53 GMT -5
I heard the door and knew it was Sophie. "Come in," I told her, just loud enough for her to hear it, but devoid of any emotion. When she came in she would see me there sitting, disheveled and solemn. "Have a seat, sister. I wanted to just ask how you were, and to tell you that I'm sorry." My words fell out, all sincere but dry, having cried all the moisture out.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 23, 2011 12:28:47 GMT -5
I entered and sat in the offered seat, looking at him for a long moment after following his instructions. He was my older brother, I was supposed to follow his instructions. "Why are you sorry?" I asked. I sat with my back straight, not relaxing against the chair. I don't think I could relax just then, it was beyond me.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 23, 2011 14:18:41 GMT -5
I swallowed hard before answering. "I feel ... I feel it's my fault somehow, for not protecting her better. That was my job after all, Sophie." The room felt even colder now, whether by her presence, my confession, or a combination of both.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 23, 2011 14:25:00 GMT -5
"She was at the palace. We're supposed to be safe at the palace," I replied, almost automatically. I did not want to think about the stables, of her body left there for anyone to find.
"Brother," I started, looking at his face, and then away. I did not want to see his expression when I asked my question. The truth would probably be more than I could bear, I couldn't stand to see the mirroring pain in his eyes too. "When the guards told us about how they found... her, I couldn't bear to ask. But... was she... forced?"
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 23, 2011 15:40:47 GMT -5
I struggled to answer. "We...we don't really know. It looks that way, but it could just as well have been consensual." Anger and grief mixed inside of me and I felt my fingers ball into a fist.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 23, 2011 16:16:42 GMT -5
My numbness that kept me from feeling anything wasn't enough to save me from that. It couldn't have been consensual. Rochelle, the baby of the family, so sweet and innocent. She had been raped and murdered. A shudder when through my body, and my armor began to crack. The worst crime you could commit against a D'Angeline, coupled with the worst crime you could commit against a human being. It was too much. I began to shake, and I wrapped my arms around my body as if they might keep me together. Keep me from breaking from the grief.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 0:44:42 GMT -5
I lifted my eyes to see my sister completely broken. I had no words to say to her, especially since I was feeling the same things she felt. All I could do instead was to reach out and touch her arm gently. Tears welled up in my eyes and quickly overflowed their banks.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 12:58:29 GMT -5
I didn't acknowledge the touch. I couldn't, not if I wanted to keep what little control I had left. I was on the edge of letting my grief overwhelm me, and it wouldn't do anyone any good. It certainly wouldn't bring my baby sister back to us. "I am going to find that monster," I whispered, my shaking growing harder. "And he is going to pay." I had never done another person physical harm. It went against my nature. But for Rochelle's killer, I would make an exception.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 16:13:36 GMT -5
I swallowed and tried to think of what to say, to calm her down, to let her know it was alright to give into the grief, that she would be stronger for it. The words didn't come though, mainly because I understood all to well what she was thinking and was feeling much of the same things. All I could say was, "I know."
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Post by Amelie de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 16:28:20 GMT -5
I’d sent a letter ahead, but I hadn’t bothered to wait for a reply before leaving for the City. The trip was uneventful, but perhaps that was because I had traveled with more security than was truly warranted for such a trip. Everyone was on edge, however, because it seemed like the royals of Terre d’Ange were some type of target these days, and while I was not the type to live in fear, neither was I foolish enough not to take extra care.
When my carriage arrived at my family’s home, I was fatigued, but I knew that I should present myself to my brother before I thought about resting – and a long hot bath. A servant instructed me toward Ghislain’s study, where I waited outside of the door as she knocked to announce me.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 17:53:22 GMT -5
Ghislain was trying to comfort me with little touches and inane words. But that was my brother for you. Well-meaning, but rather useless. I didn't say anything more, too wrapped up in trying to control my grief, but I did look up when a knock sounded against the door.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 22:20:24 GMT -5
I sighed, knowing I was of no help, though I sincerely wished I could be. I was about to speak again when I heard another knock on the door. I wondered who it might be. Amelie had sent a letter saying she was coming, and I thought it might be her. I couldn't be too sure nor too careful though. I walked over and turned the knob, keeping a good and tense distance though, ready for whatever.
Thankfully it was Amelie. I opened my arms and hugged her tightly.
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Post by Amelie de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 23:26:47 GMT -5
It was strange to see Ghislain again after so long. He seemed the same as I remembered him, except that he looked older. I returned the hug, spying Sophie over his shoulder. It was so odd, seeing both of them again, that I realized I wasn't sure how to behave. The last time they had seen me I was barely out of childhood, and now I was a woman grown.
I pulled back from the embrace at length, offering Ghislain a half-hearted smile. Now was not the time for joy, and yet there was something so heartening about seeing the two of them again.
"Ghislain, I'm surprised you recognize me," I teased, trying to keep the smile from slipping off of my lips at the air of sadness and grief that pervaded the room. Grieving Rochelle had been hard on all of us, it seemed, though these two had hardly known her. That thought was uncharitable, however, and I pushed it aside. Who was I to judge the way events had fallen out?
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 24, 2011 23:43:06 GMT -5
I rose at the sight of Amelie, and embraced her when Ghislain was done. "Hello Mai," I whispered against her hair, falling back to my childhood nickname for her as I hugged her tight.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 25, 2011 15:08:30 GMT -5
I smiled for a second at my little sister's tease, but it was only halfhearted. "I can't forget my sister, can I?" I said, wincing inside. "I'm glad you're here."
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Post by Amelie de Trevalion on Mar 25, 2011 15:44:04 GMT -5
I felt a suspicious wetness behind my eyelids when Sophie used my old childhood nickname, long abandoned as I had grown into womanhood. There was a lump in my throat that I had to swallow past as I returned my older sister’s hug.
When Ghislain spoke, I smiled at him again, though it was bittersweet, considering the circumstances. “How are you both holding up?” I asked, though it only took a good look at them to see that they were feeling as badly as I did. Poor Rochelle, she’d gone ‘round the bend long before now, and the sort of death she’d received almost felt predestined. I felt bad for thinking it, but there it was.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 26, 2011 23:34:16 GMT -5
"We're getting by," I said, my voice soft and tight. I tried to cover it by pulling over a third chair for Amelie. "How are you? How did Mama and Cadice take it?"
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Post by Amelie de Trevalion on Mar 27, 2011 13:05:52 GMT -5
I took the seat that Sophie pulled out for me, pausing to arrange my skirts before answering.
"As well as can be expected, I suppose. Mama is trying to be strong, but we can hear her crying at night. Cadice ... well, Cadice and Rochelle hadn't been getting along for awhile, the truth is, everyone was having trouble getting along with her, these last few years. I know Cadice feels guilty about it, about Rochelle dying while she was on the outs with us. I do, too. Maybe we should have tried harder, instead of sending her away." I knew it was the thought that made Mama cry at night, that if she had not sent Rochelle to the City to be 'straightened out,' she would still be alive.
I sighed heavily and shook my head. "She had so much potential, and now it's just all gone."
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Mar 29, 2011 12:49:43 GMT -5
As I listened to the girls talk I felt the strong weight of guilt pulling deeper, as if someone had hooked it to my throat and let it drop. I nodded to Amelie. "I know exactly what you mean, sister."
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Mar 31, 2011 22:58:37 GMT -5
My eyebrows rose, and I looked at Ghislain. He'd never told me that our youngest sister was visiting because she was having a tiff with the rest of the family. Then again, Rochelle had been that age to be having tiffs with anyone that looked at her sideways, if the mood struck her. "Azza, I still can't believe she's... gone," I whispered, dropping into my chair as if defeated.
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Post by Amelie de Trevalion on Apr 4, 2011 22:08:36 GMT -5
It was so strange, that she was physically gone, but the fact was that she had been gone for a long time before now. Or at least, the Rochelle that I had known and loved, and the one that they remembered. Left in her place was an alcoholic, a girl who was numb to everything.
"The question is, what happened to her?" I said, rubbing my temple with one hand. "I mean, is it true that she was murdered? I keep thinking that it can't be, not on Palace Grounds..." Our Queen had been murdered on Palace Grounds, I reminded myself, but it still seemed insane.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Apr 5, 2011 20:52:18 GMT -5
I simply nodded in response to Amelie. I hadn't told Sophie about the state that Rochelle had come to. I leaned back against the wall, not knowing what I wanted at this point. Did I want to talk about, did I just their company, did I simply want to left alone? I truly couldn't say.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Apr 8, 2011 22:19:24 GMT -5
I had to focus on just breathing normally for a moment before I could answer her question. Ghislain was, as usual, silent and fairly useless. "Yes, it was murder. And most likely.... most likely raped as well." The words hurt coming out, and I would have spared Amelie the details if she didn't have the right to know.
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Post by Amelie de Trevalion on Apr 12, 2011 20:20:59 GMT -5
Raped? I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach, and I hated that I had to wonder if she truly had been. I doubted that either Sophie or Ghislain had had enough time to see Rochelle's true colors, the way she was with men, and I could not bring myself to bring it up. Rochelle was dead and there was no point in sullying her reputation further. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer to Elua on behalf of us all.
"Is there any evidence that Rochelle's ... murder ..." I had to choke out the word, "is connected to the death of the Queen?" It was a terrifying thought, that someone was targeting the highest born among us, but it couldn't be overlooked: first the Queen was poisoned, the Dauphin put into a comatose state, and now a Princess of the Blood murdered. On the Palace grounds no less! Were any of us safe?
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Apr 14, 2011 10:55:47 GMT -5
I shook my head, finding something to say at last. "No, there's no concrete evidence. It's suspicious though that the palace seems to be the target of so much pain..." I answered through my tears.
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Sophie de Trevalion
Royal
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood
Daughter of L?ander and Aveline de Trevalion; sister to Ghislain, Amelie, Cadice, and Rochelle
Posts: 579
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Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Apr 17, 2011 17:17:46 GMT -5
Amelie's words were unsteady. I couldn't blame her, my voice was not trustworthy either. I reached out and held her hand. "I don't trust the palace guards anymore, not after everything that's happened. I've hired a bodyguard Mai, and he knows to look after you too until you can hire someone yourself. His name is Emeric, I'll introduce you later, alright?"
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Post by Amelie de Trevalion on Apr 28, 2011 0:47:49 GMT -5
Under normal circumstances, I might have objected to having a bodyguard. I wanted to explore the City, to be free now that I was away from home, but these were hardly normal circumstances.
"Thank you, Sophie," I said, graciously accepting that my sister was making a decision that was best for me. Hopefully this Emeric fellow would be unobtrusive. I squeezed Sophie's hand and tried to gather my thoughts.
"I hope you don't mind my coming out, but I needed to see you two again. It's been too long." And we don't have as much time as we thought we did.
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Post by Ghislain de Trevalion on Apr 28, 2011 11:59:10 GMT -5
Sophie had a bodyguard? I pondered a moment why she didn't tell me about it. But it wasn't anything important. "We're very glad you can be here with us now," I said to Amelie, giving my sister a hug.
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