From Wedding to Funeral

[Anacrasia Shahrizai]

Twelfth week of Winter, Year Two of Sabrina's reign

I stood in the front hall, waiting for the guests to arrive, and did my best not to think of my wedding gown. It seems silly really, that the thought of a garment could upset me so much. But the gown was one of the few things that couldn't be used today. The flowers, the food could be recycled for a funeral instead of a wedding. A white gown, glittering with crystal, no longer fit. It had come to represent what might have been had the gods not taken Jareth away. And every time I thought about what it meant, tears would return. No, better to think about the black velvet that I now wore. When everyone had come and gone, I would allow myself to break down in private. Though I wasn't sure I could last that long in the face of sympathy.

[Alora d'Aiglemort]

I had wanted to wear the green dress I had commissioned for the wedding, but since I was family, it wouldn't seem right to have Ana wear black and I to show up wearing naught else but that. So, I had settled on a black dress that would do well for the funeral. While I finished getting ready, I had the carriage readied so I could arrive at Ana's as fast as humanly possible.

I arrived to see that I was the first to arrive. With a sigh to steady myself, I stepped out of the carriage and went inside.

[Naia Shahrizai]

I remembered the day I had received the invitation to the wedding of the Duchesse Shahrizai, I had thrilled at the idea that I was important enough to receive one. I had spent more time than I probably should have trying to figure out what to wear, how to do up my curls, what to bring as a gift.

Then the word came that there would be no wedding - no, it was to be a funeral instead. I did not know the Duchesse, nor her intended, but the very idea that someone would have to turn their wedding celebration into a funeral made my heart ache. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but I found that I was more easily moved to tears these days, and indeed I had to wipe away a tear or two as I sat in the carriage, composing myself before I went up to the house. I wondered if I would know anyone else there, or if it was even appropriate of me to show up. A wedding was one thing, but a funeral quite another, would my presence be out of place?

Regardless, I was drawn here by the feeling that, Duchesse or not, Anacrasia was kin and would need all the help she could get. As families went, we Shahrizai were often compared to a pack of wolves, which was meant to be detrimental, but to me I could find no higher compliment. Wolves rallied in times of need, a pack that dared anyone to try to hurt one of their own, and wasn't that a noble sentiment?

Finally, I left the carriage and walked up to the door, where another woman also waited. I smiled in greeting, noting that we both wore black, as I suspected most of the guests would.

[Prince Christien de la Courcel]

I hadn't been to a funeral in some time, and it was with a heavy heart that I made ready to attend this one. I knew Jareth and Anacrasia mostly in passing, as they were both of high standing, but still, hearing about something so sudden was always shocking and made one think about just how easy it was for one's life to be lost. I had hunted boar often enough in my time, and I knew that it was dangerous, and yet I had never thought that I might lose my life.

I suppose I should have seen if Coretta wanted to ride with me, but I was feeling rather sour and not good company. I suppose introspective was what I was really feeling, thinking about my life and what it meant. Exactly nothing, in my estimation. What good was I? If I died tomorrow, would any but Coretta mourn me? Silvana...

I shook my head, clearing her from my thoughts, trying to put the past behind me, where it belonged, and embrace the future, and the present, tragic though it was.

[Anacrasia Shahrizai]

There came a knock on the door, startling me out of my thoughts. I answered it, grateful to see family. "Alora, Naia, please come in," I greeted them, trying to smile before I stepped away from the door so that they could enter. "Thank you for coming." The words felt automatic, but I wasn't going to fool anyone today, not with my eyes red from crying.

[Alora d'Aiglemort]

"Thank you, Duchess." I didn't want to spend much time on formality since we were both equal in title now, but it was important that I still gave her respect. It felt...odd to be holding the title long before I thought I would be. "And a herd of ..." I was about to say boars, but caught myself. "A pack of wolves couldn't stop me from coming." Oh, what wonderful choice of words, Alora, I thought. You've walked into a nest of wolves just by coming. And Elua knows how many Shahrizai arrive.

[Gabriel Shahrizai]

Whatever feelings I might have once had about Ana’s choice for a husband, I would never have wished this grief upon her.

Dressed in dark grey, black should be reserved for those feeling the most grief I thought, I stepped out of the carriage and headed up the walk.

[Sabrina de la Courcel (D)]

I had head of the tragic accident regarding the Duc d'Aiglemort and knew that I should be there. I wasn't close with either, but Jareth had been on his way to a bright military future before his end. I dressed in black of course, deciding that it would be best to show solidarity for Anacrasia then alone I took my carriage to her home. When I made my way inside I spotted Christien and went to him right away.
"Hello brother." I said softly once I had reached him.

[Prince Christien de la Courcel]

I glanced at Sabrina, an acidic remark on my tongue as always, but it died away in the wake of the situation. Lately I had less energy for hating her, less care for the things that had seemed so important to me only a year or two ago.

"Sabrina," I said, my tone suprisingly soft, though perhaps that was simply the atmosphere. "How are you?" I hadn't really spoken to her since she and Alexei had ended things and it occurred to me that I had not once even so much as wondered how she was doing. I felt a pang of guilt, especially watching the Shahrizai turn out for one of their own. We fought like dogs over scraps, and for what? A kingdom? My dissatisfaction with my life was pulling at me once more, though I tried to curb it - now was not the time.

[Naia Shahrizai]

Anacrasia greeted us and allowed us into her home, which was beautiful, though now was certainly no time to show interest in her decor, of all things. I remembered that Soleil Belfours had said that she and Anacrasia were close, and I wondered if I would see her here. I had been in the City for nearly a year and I was just now starting to move in circles appropriate to my station, though I was sorry that it took a funeral to get me out into society after my natality.

I let the other woman speak first - Alora, Anacrasia named her - and then gave my own greetings. "I'm so sorry for your loss, my lady," and I was, though I knew her not. I knew about pain, however, intimately, and I could see it writ large in her eyes. I wanted to say more, do something to help ease her pain, but there was nothing that I could do, and the baby chose that moment to decide to make me queasy, despite Faisan's herbs, so I kept quiet, praying that my stomach would behave.

[Anacrasia Shahrizai]

I bit my lip and nodded at the two, trying not to think about Alora's almost-choice of words. "Thank you. Please come in, there is food and drink in the sitting room if you'd like. Alora, if you want to say a few words about your uncle, I'm sure..." I had to pause for a moment to get myself under control, taking a deep breath. "I'm sure it can be arranged. We also have some matters to discuss, but that can wait until later." Unconsciously, my hand had come up to rest on my stomach.

[Alora d'Aiglemort]

Before I could respond to Naia, Ana replied with a thank you and there was food in the other room. Then she said that she needed to tell me. I did notice her hand go to her abdomen, though I didn't think anything of it. "Thank you, Ana." I had no idea what she wanted to speak to me about, and now my mind was running around, trying to figure out what she wanted to tell me.

Any other time, I would have wandered through the home and looked at the decor, but right now I couldn't. Not while there were more people arriving. I noticed that Prince Christien and Queen Sabrina had arrived. I should greet them, but it looked like they were otherwise busy.

[Sarielle Shahrizai]

I pulled up to the front of Ana's house in my carriage, dressed from top to toe in black, simple, and baring nothing. Now was not the time to be showing skin, or to try to be fashionable. Now was about humbling yourself in the face of the one thing that could totally and completely alter lives - death. It was sad, really, that just weeks before I had been coming up this walk, meeting Ana for teh first time for tea, and how we had discussed her wedding plans, the flowers which I had done to order, and which I had had delivered to her would not be of the same meaning, if at all they were used. I made note to be sure to return the coin to her at a better time, a time when such would not be considered crass. It was not that I would think that she needed it, but that it was a way of showing my condolences, my understanding, and how I felt. I did not know Jareth, and barely knew Ana, but she was family, and what I did know of her, and how she had presented heself to me, ah Elua, I felt for her, my heart truly sank as the carriage slowed to a stop and I gathered my skirts to step out. It was cold, but there wa another sort of chill that chilled to the bone, far worse than even the coldest winter day. The chill of loss. It made me shiver as it bit down to my marrow, making me wrap my cape about me tighter, seeking warmth. I was attending alone. I knew that if Gadleon could have made it, he would have, and I wished he were here by my side. I took a deep breath and walked up to the door, and wiated behind those who had arrived before me. The Queen was here, I noted, and her brother, and I stood a respectable distance back from them as they seemed to be talking.

[Anacrasia Shahrizai]

Naia and Alora moved further into the house, but they were only two in a long line. I spotted Gabriel waiting behind Sabrina and Christien, and it gave me the strength to greet the royals. "Your majesty, your highness, thank you for coming." I said with a curtsey.

[Gabriel Shahrizai]

Had anyone but Sabrina and Prince Christien been standing between us, I would have gone past them and hugged Ana. I wasn’t going to make a scene though; this had to be stress enough for her.

I held my place, letting my eyes roam over Sabrina’s backside absently.

[Alora d'Aiglemort]

I looked at those who had arrived, seeing that other than Sabrina and Christien, it was all Shahrizai. I looked at the food that had been laid out and decided I wasn't all that hungry. I felt so out of place here, why didn't Ana invite more of my relatives? Granted my own family couldn't make it, but they sent their own regards. It didn't help ease my feelings. I looked back to the two members of House Courcel and saw that Ana had greeted them. I would wait until she finished greeted them before greeting them myself. Until then, I kept out of the way enough, but remained in sight.

[Sarielle Shahrizai]

With those before me waiting to speak to Ana, I waited in line. This was not the time to breeze past and hope to catch her eye later. With the patience that seemed to be bred into our family, I stood, looking at the dark haired man before me, obviously a cousin, and kept my cloak close around me to stave off teh chill.

[Soleil Belfours]

I had wanted to arrive early, but having a baby sometimes made one late. I left Synnove at home, though she had cried, I didn't think that reminding Ana that she had lost her fiance and possibly her chance at a child was in good taste. I arrived and hurried into the house, to find myself waiting at the back of a line of mourners to greet Ana.

[Naia Shahrizai]

Moving further into the house, I stood aside a bit, feeling rather awkward and wondering if anyone that I knew would be here to make it less so. I hadn't thought to ask Azriel if he were invited, though I would have felt quite the third wheel with he and Alex, who had seemed joined at the hip of late. I couldn't fault either of them, however, they looked happier than I had ever seen any two people, and how could I begrudge them that? Especially knowing that both had suffered in the past.

I was musing over these things and more when, looking through the open doorway, I did see someone I knew - my sister. I was unsure how I felt about seeing her, to be honest. On one hand, the old anger and pain was there, just out of reach, waiting for me to indulge in it. On the other hand, I had grown tired of it and without the alcohol and self-loathing to fuel it, it was a pale thing, fragile and empty. I decided that if she approached me, I would be polite ... dare I say, friendly?

Someone handed me a glass of wine, which I started to sip, before remembering that I should not, simply holding the glass by force of habit.

[Prince Christien de la Courcel]

"I am so sorry for your loss," I said, greeting Ana warmly. "From what I knew of Jareth, he was an amazing man." It was hard to know what to say at a time like this, but I felt that being genuine was the best option.

[Alora d'Aiglemort]

I accepted a glass of wine and sipped. Of course, most if not all would be giving their regards to Ana without giving any thought to me. there had to be someone there that would care to notice the grieving niece. I watched those in the line greet Ana and give their condolences. I watched Prince Christien greet Ana and sighed.

[Anacrasia Shahrizai]

"He certainly was," I agreed, braving a little smile. "I've never met a better man."

I paused, forcing myself not to wallow in grief. "Your majesty, I was hoping I might trouble you for a private audience at a later point. At your convenience of course, I know how busy you must be." My voice was soft, but it had nothing to do with the chance of being overheard. Keep yourself together girl!

[Sabrina de la Courcel (D)]

I stayed quiet while Christien spoke to the Duchesse, that was until she addressed me.
"Of course Duchesse Anacrasia." I said gently, sympathetically. "When ever you wish. Just let me know and I will make myself available." I reached out and touched my hand to her arm.
"I'm truly sorry for your loss." I added softly.

[Anacrasia Shahrizai]

I blinked back the tears that threatened at her kindness. Gods, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do this... No, I could. I would. For Jareth, and for Alora, who had to be grieving as much as I was. "Thank you your majesty, I appreciate your kindness very much," I nearly whispered as I did my best to keep myself in control. I took in a deep breath and it steadied my voice if it didn't increase the volume. "There are refreshments further inside, and if you need anything, just speak to one of my staff."

[Alora d'Aiglemort]

Just standing there was hard. And allowing my mind to wander was torture because tears kept threatening to burst through the dam I had built. I steeled myself and moved from where I stood and went to stand next to Ana. I was grieving too, there was little to no point on her receiving most of the sympathies today. When I reached her side, I curtsied to the Queen. "Your Majesty."

[Prince Christien de la Courcel]

I was about to excuse myself when we were approached by someone that I had not yet met. The sadness on her face told me that she must have known Jareth personally, and again I felt sympathetic. I well remembered losing my parents, the pain of it, the helplessness. The memories made my heartache and I wished suddenly for Coretta's presence, feeling a need to hold her and not let go.

She wasn't here, so instead I forced a smile and bowed to the young lady. "Well met, my lady," I said, adding, "Though I am sorry that we meet under such circumstances."

[Sabrina de la Courcel (D)]

I smiled gently to the young lady that joined the small group then looked back to Anacrasia, giving her an encouraging smile, though albeit sad before looking to Christien.
"Indeed." I said by way of echoing his statement. "But perhaps we should move along brother, and allow others to give their sympathies." I slipped my arm around Christien's and looked back to the pair.
"Duchesse, my lady." I said softly then tugged Christien's arm a little to get him to say his fairwells so that we could move deeper into the house.

[Alora d'Aiglemort]

"I'm sorry as well, your highness," I said to the Prince with another curtsy, though not as deep as my first, but deep enough to show respect.

[Gabriel Shahrizai]

It had looked as if Sabrina and her brother were going to move on, and I could finally greet Ana, when some other woman showed up and stopped the line again.

I sighed and moved to where I could catch Ana's eye, hoping she would step out of the hold up and closer to me.

[Anacrasia Shahrizai]

I curtsied to the Queen and Dauphin, letting them move on and the receiving line to move forward. "Gabriel," I whispered, stepping towards him. I needed a hug so badly, for someone to embrace me and not be afraid that they were going to break me. So I just hugged him. I knew he would understand.