Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 13, 2010 18:46:15 GMT -5
Though I would have been happy to spend the even alone in my rooms at home, or better yet, drunk, I had agreed to meet with my Cousin the Queen to discuss the recent events of my marriage with Aza.
We took the dinner alone, just she and I; I spoke of my actions and what I had felt, why I had done what I had. I told her that I had made utter mistakes and that I had feared much and in doing so ruined things between Azabel and I. I spoke about my love for Aza and how it still beat fierce in my chest, that if I could change things or fix them I would. At the end, I actually felt a bit purged of my sin; though it was no visit to the Temple of Kushiel.
By the end of the meal it was quite late at night, the palace was fairly quite except for a few night owls in the Hall of Games, and the guards that roamed the passage ways. I stopped into the Hall of Games and had a drink, or three, but I was bored and tired; I wanted my bed. So I began my steady walk down the halls, passing portraits as I went. Every now and then I'd glance to them and get lost in what each person did, or how they got there, or what mistakes they had made in their life time and I wondered about how I had gotten to the place that I had come to.
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 13, 2010 19:12:55 GMT -5
I was drunk.
... Ok, not drunk, but I had a few too many glasses of wine in my system. I couldn't get comfortable; I never realized how much I leaned back, in sitting or laying, lounging, eating... it didn't matter. Laying on my stomach was the only real way to gain any sort of comfort, and I was beyond tired of laying on my belly, reading books and writing in my journal. Crying. Crying was another thing I'd partook in more than once since leaving the Temple earlier, and though I knew the pain in my back was far less than say a Valerian took in some assignations, it was still more than I was ever used to. My skin was unblemished, unkissed by any sort of flogger or whip or crop, never a hand raised to me. I loved the sweet side of lovemaking, loved the gentle caress over a harsh smack. Being whipped til my skin broke, even with the softest flogger the priest had, was more than enough to make my mind reel.
I couldn't take it anymore. My dress was silk, thin and high in the back, covering all traces of what had happened, the color of apple blossoms in spring, but it was blessedly loose around my torso. Styled in a vintage look, the shoulders were loose and the neckline very open, riding high on the backs of my shoulders and high along my collarbones, but leaving the top of both my shoulders bare. The fabric was tighter along my bust and stomach and looser in the back, a sort of loose, wide ribbed effect that always made me think of a cascading waterfall. I'd never had much of a point to wearing it before, but now it was appropriate.. and sadly perfect for my situation.
Emboldened by the wine in my system, but not so drunk that I couldn't talk or walk clearly, I made my way from my rooms and began walking, trying not to think as I did so. It was late enough that the only people I saw were guards, and I avoided looking at them too if I could help it; my hair was down, and I used it as a shield more often than not to avoid eye contact. I was looking at the floor patterns as I rounded a corner, not paying attention as I should, and before I realized anyone was near I quite literally ran into them.
"Oh!"
I gasped, my hand flying to cup my throat instinctively as I brought my head up... and from there my eyes only grew larger, more prominent.
"Del?"
I wasn't sure if I thought his name or said it, and I didn't press too hard to figure it out. I just stared at him, not backing away, not walking forward. I wasn't that drunk, was I?
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 13, 2010 19:40:21 GMT -5
I wasn't looking, that was quite obvious, because if I had I wouldn't have allowed myself to walk into her. Damn portraits, why was I blaming them, it was my fault, much like everything in my life right now. I hadn't even seen the flash of gold locks, or I for sure would have stopped.
"Elua!" I cursed softly at the collision as I reached out to grasped the girl I had run into, I even grabbed her upper arm on instinct to help steady herself. But when I looked up to speak, a gentle smile on my lips at the oafishness of my actions, my face turned to stone.
"Del?" Her voice was sweet, sweet as it had ever been, sweeter then the first day we had met, sweeter then all the honey in all the world.
In my mind I swept her into my arms and kissed her, crushed my lips to hers Oh Aza, I've missed you so much, I'm a fool,and awful bloody fool. Take me back, take me back, I'll do anything... I crawl on my hands and knees, I'll let you whip me every day for my sins, just please take me back. In my mind I was already kissing her, remembering her sweet breath on my lips, her taste on my tongue. In my mind I was weeping.
It wasn't just in my mind.
I dropped my hand, tears springing to my eyes and I had to look down, I couldn't fight the tears, she had just taken me too much by surprise. My kept my eyes trained on the floor as my right hand picked at a bit of loose skin on my left hand's thumb.
"I suppose..." I cleared my throat, doing my best not to let any more tears roll past my lower lids. "I suppose this was enevitable, the City is a small place after all." I murmured my sentance a little, knowing my voice wasn't near strong enough to speak fully. I sniffed it all in though and reached up, wiping my tears with my sleeve before I looked at her, forcing a gentle polite smile on my face, my eyes red already from forcing back the tears. "You look well."
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 13, 2010 20:05:34 GMT -5
Before I realized it, he was.. he was crying. I'd never seen Del cry before, not like this. Not when I fled his estate in kusheth, not when we fought the night he came home from Valerian. It broke something inside of me, and I felt my own tears sting my eyes, risen again like they so often did of late. His hand was on my arm, and for a fleeting second, so quick that it didn't have time to manifest itself on my face, I was caught between being worried and.. something else, something that I didn't have a chance to puzzle out before his hand and the feeling both were gone.
I could see the restraint in his face, the tension along his eyebrow, the way they puckered together slightly, but I just didn't have that in me anymore. My lower lip quite literally quivered, and I bit it to try to stop it, though the tears that fell did nothing to help. He murmured, then looked at me and tried to smile after wiping away his tears, and whatever it was inside of me broke even more.
This, I realized, was the worst part between us, behind it all. There was no closure, nothing; there was he and I, and our failed marriage, our fight, the threats and the crying, but there were no goodbyes. My lower lip quivered again and I took in a deep breath, hoping it would cleanse me, but knowing it would fail horribly.
"You look well too," I said softly, my voice an echo of what it had been originally. The wine coursed my veins, and I felt no fear at being alone with him like this, not the way I always imagined I would. I looked up at him, up those long inches to the face I'd once touched and kissed, and tried to read him. "I'm sorry I didn't write... Elua, I started a thousand letters, but I never knew what to say. I never knew how to make it better..."
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 13, 2010 20:19:23 GMT -5
I looked at her face and I wanted to weep, to weep dearly, to enfold her in my arms and kiss away her hurt, her tears, I wanted her back in my life so badly that I felt like my chest was caving in.
"Its alright," I murmured softly, sniffing again to keep all my hurt inside. "I understand why you didn't." I chuckled, bitterly. "Its not like I didn't give you good reason to keep away. It wasn't you that needed to make things better." I sniffed again, but it was no use, tears silently escaped out the corners of my eyes and trailed down my cheeks. "Just... just tell me you're happy, that being apart, that ending it was the right thing and you owe me nothing."
But I didn't want her to say it, I wanted her to be happy yes, but I wanted her to be happy with me, I wanted her to tell me how she wanted me back, needed me back. I wanted her to tell me that she was lost without me as much as I was lost without her.
Her hair fell into her face, just like it always did, wild and free like her, and like the hundred times I had done before I reached out and tucked it behind he ear. My finger grazed her skin, just by her temple as I pushed back the errand lock. In that instant I want to touch her more then just that little bit; but I didn't, I withheld, I just smiled at her gently, as though everything was right in the world because she was standing in front of me. "I just want you to be happy." I whispered almost absently as I looked at her.
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 13, 2010 22:33:46 GMT -5
Ah, gods, gods.
He was so.. so sad, and that wasn't something I ever expected. I thought my grieving for our relationship was all of it, wholly one sided. I'd heard rumors of Dels dark exploits in the City, and I'd never pictured him as sad about our marriage. Fleeting moments mayhap, but after seeing the wild look on his face, even with the way he broke down as I fled the room and our marriage, I never could picture him as being sad that it was over. Free mayhap, without me always there, never quite able to accept what he'd done initially. I would have eventually, I was sure of it, but it took too long for him.. he couldn't bear it any more.
Pride. I fear it added to the demise of our relationship.
I'd said as much to the priest at the Temple earlier today, and I felt the tears slip down my cheeks. It was true enough, true that my pride had hurt us.. mayhap if I'd been more understanding in the beginning, or.. or something, that it wouldn't have come to this. Everything would have rightened itself, and if I'd had a problem.. well, mayhap it would have settled itself without Del ever having to know.
I knew it was distrustful, but I couldnt' help but think it, couldn't help but wonder if it's what I should have done. I just didn't know anymore. I didn't know what to say or think or do, I didn't know where to live for Eluas sake. I wanted to close my eyes and sink against the wall, wanted to sit right here in the junction of hallways, but I couldn't. I was riveted by the expression on his face, bolted and nailed in place by the tears that leaked from his eyes, by something stronger than simple sadness as it roiled out of him. Just tell him I was happy. The lie would be so easy to say, something final and easy, a few words and it could really be over. It could, but it would end on a lie. I'd never lied to Del before, and I wouldn't let the first and only time be the final nail in the coffin.
I opened my mouth before closing it again, my eyes following the tears that ran down his face, knowing my own ran down too. Whatever wine was in me was quelled for now, as far as I could tell; I was as clear in mind as I could ever hope for. My lips parted once more and his hand moved, reaching to brush a lock of hair away from my face. I couldn't help it then, but closed my eyes by reflex, a silent sob shaking the cavity of my chest and making my back screech with pain. I struggled with myself and made myself look at him again. How red my eyes were I didn't know, but his were, red like he'd cried hundreds of times before, or like he'd stopped himself before now.
"I'm not," I gasped softly, my voice something louder than a whisper, but not by much. "Ah gods, I'm not... I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say or where to go. I've moved out from living with my brothers, I avoid my friends." My eyes shifted from one of his to another, and I didn't know whether I wanted to run away from him, or run into him. I was rooted to the spot, his hand having left a burning imprint in my mind upon my arm, upon my temple and hair. Every time he touched me I remembered it as if he still did, and I hung as if suspended like a puppet, and someone other than myself controlled my movements.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 13, 2010 22:54:59 GMT -5
It broke me and I looked down, unable to stop myself from letting out a sob, I did my best not to collaspe under the emotion of the action, but it was too much to hear what she said. I brough my hand up to my forehead and pushed my fingers through my hair before I managed to get my tears under control and I was able to finally look up at her.
"God Aza, I'm so sorry." I whispered through the tears, through the cracking in my voice, through the pain in my chest. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you; I've ruined your life." I looked down again, another wracking sob shaking me before I could look up at her again. Dimmly it occured to me that we were in the middle of the palace hall, anyone could come through and see Aza and I like this, and likely it would have caused more rumours then if were were fornicating. "I screwed things up so badly." I shook my head, trying to remain as composed as posible, only minimally able to do so. I sniffed hard, taking it all in.
"Gods," I breathed as I finally managed to look at her, staring at her for a moment, my eyes taking in her face completely. "Do you know how lovely you are?" I asked as I looked back at her, as I reached up and brushed the tears away with my sleeve once more.
"I know... I know I have no right to ask, or even suggest it, and if you tell me to go to hell I'll be more then happy to do it for you." I took a breath. "But I want you back," I looked at her, seriously, my eyes never leaving hers. "What ever I can do, I'll do it, what ever you want, what ever terms, or punishments. Gods, Azabel, I just want you back, I want our life back." I took a gentle step forward toward her and went down on my knees in front of her.
"I want our future back, the children we talked about having; not this moment, not this second, not even in a week or a month or a year... if you tell me I must wait then I will wait, I will wait for the end of the earth..." I spread my arms out, supplicant before her. "What ever you say I will do it to put back was was done."
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 13, 2010 23:57:54 GMT -5
Oh gods, oh gods oh gods.
Oh gods.
When I thought it couldn't get any deeper, any worse, it did. One step to the next, tumbling down an endless stairwell, end over end, both of us falling with no way to tell anymore which was up. I felt as if I were drowning; it was hard to breathe, hard to function, hard to remember my own name. My knees quivered as I watched him cry, but when he sank to his knees before me, his arms spread wide as he confessed his love and need to have me back, I broke fully.
A sob escaped me before I could stop it, loud and high; if the guards weren't aware of us before they would be now, though likely the already knew. What rumors would fly from this, if they spoke? I didn't know, and I couldn't begin to try to comprehend anything else than this.. this right here, the man who'd scared me, hurt me more than anyone ever had before, now on his knees and begging forgiveness.
It was too much for me to bear standing. I sank to my knees as well, my face burying in my hands as I cried. My back burned, cracked, needing salve, but the only thing I could do was cry. I wasn't even sure what I was crying for anymore, but the burning need to let it out all but broke me apart.
He loved me. He didn't just miss me, confessing his sins and asking for redemption, but bared his soul to me, bared his heart. I could almost sense it, beating outside his chest cavity in one hand, the other hand holding his soul; both were mine if I chose to take them. I didn't know, didn't know what to do. I'd never thought he would want me back, never let myself think of anything but the end. Blindly, numbly I leaned towards him, falling forward until I met his chest. My back sang sharply and I gasped and stiffened, but it wasn't long before I'd forgotten it again, half kneeling, half curling on the hallway floor next to him.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 14, 2010 0:30:04 GMT -5
She sobbed, cried and then fell into me.
I released a breath, as though I was sinking deep under water, drowing and it was my last breath. But if felt good, it felt good to have her next to me, even if everything hadn't been worked out, even if at the end of this we were still appart, even if we had no future, touching her felt right. Slowly I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, my hand going into her hair, slowly as though she was a ghost that would disapear the moment I tried holding her.
"Azabel."
I breathed her name like it was my salvation, and my tears for the moment were quelled. It was then that I heard foot steps and the sounds of laughing couples most likely leaving the Hall of Games, I knew we had to leave this area; she said she was staying in the palace, in her family's rooms, I was pretty sure I knew which ones she meant. I put my hand on her shoulders and pulled her back just enough so that I could look at her.
"Azabel, come with me, we have to move from this area." I said softly. "You don't need to deal with any more gossip on top of what you're going through. Please, let me take you to your rooms and we can talk, really talk." I heard the steps, coming from behind me, so I didn't wait for her reply, I just took her hand in mine and rose, pulling her gently with me. When she was standing I wrapped one arm around her waist and held her hand in mine, before going in the direction she had just come from.
It wasn't a long walk, and before we were at her door, I was sure of it because of the guards standing out side. They gave me a look, then Aza, and then each other, but I stared them down so they said nothing and let us pass. I opened her door and brought her through along with me, and once we were inside I closed the door and moved her to the couch, releasing her to sit down.
Once she was sitting I moved quickly, getting a glass of water for her and return to once again kneel in front of her. "Here." I said softly, forcing myself not to finish the sentence and call her 'my love'. "You're safe now."
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 14, 2010 7:26:32 GMT -5
His arms captured me, wrapping around my shoulders, and I remembered the blunt strength of him. He was so big, so tall and muscular, an athlete without ever having to try to be, able to bully someone into doing what he wanted by a mere look alone... and he held me so tenderly, so carefully. He could crush me without second thought, but he acted almost afraid to touch me, and it made me sob harder for it. He was massive, the epitome of d'Angeline strength and fortitude, an impenetrable fortress... cowed and bullied by my tall, willowy, sobbing form. I scared him.
I didn't hear anything at first, not with my hands covering my face and the rustle of his shirt next to my ear, but then he was begging me to stand, pulling gently, and I gasped involuntarily as my back wailed in protest. I stiffened again but allowed him to draw me up, allowed him to wrap his arm around my waist and keep my hand for his own as he led me away. It didn't occur to me to wonder how he knew where to go; I was too wrapped up in everything, too lost in a foggy mist that had surrounded me since that fateful night he'd visited Valerian. It was just thicker now, and I despaired, wondering if I'd ever see my way clear again.
I saw the looks on the guards faces, but I didn't have to say anything; Delaunay took care of it with a look of his own, unspeaking, unsmiling, and they let us pass. The door was closed behind and I found myself on the couch, my back whimpering in protest, aching. It would be better after tomorrow, the healer had promised. Tonight and tomorrow would be the worst, and as long as I kept salve on my wounds, I wouldn't bear scars. Judging by the way they hurt right now I was fairly sure they needed more; they felt stiff, trying to harden, and every time I moved it broke it open again. Thank god for the bandaging covering it, wrapping around my torso to hold the flimsy fabric in place, else I was sure the light colored dress would bear spots of scarlet in the back.
My eyes followed Del as he moved, and I took the opportunity as he bustled about the room to wipe at my eyes, brushing the moisture clear. Ceasing crying had been easier to do when I'd been walking, though I could make no promises to anyone that I'd be able to stave it off forever. I wanted to, but now.. staring the ghost of my recent past in his face.. Elua I didn't know.
As he handed me the glass of water, I took it, sipped at it to show I was grateful, and set it down on a side table. He was kneeling in front of me again and I sat with my back off the back of the couch, leaning a little bit forward, my eyes taking in his face. The strong line of his jaw, the straightness of his nose, the way his eyes seemed haunted, how his brows furrowed down in.. concern? I didn't know. I didn't know what to do now, what to say, and abruptly I realized how silent I'd been, not having spoken a word since before I started crying in the hallway.
"Thank you," I said softly, my eyes still on his face. I hesitated a moment and slowly lifted my arms, moving carefully for my back, and carefully for both he and I mentally. My hands arced towards his face, but rather than cupping his cheeks I let them pass, moving to wrap around his neck and draw him closer to me. I didn't want to kiss, just to hug and hold, to insist to myself that he was real, and this wasn't another vivid dream. I'd woken to too many of them, sure when I rolled over I'd see an imprint on the pillow next to me made by his head, but they were always smooth, the covers unruffled. But no - no, this time I wasn't imagining things. I felt him in my arms, and it scared me enough that I wanted to release him and flinch back, but I didn't let myself. I held tighter, willing myself not to cry again.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 14, 2010 16:17:35 GMT -5
She was hurt, physically, I hadn't noticed it at first, but those little signs kept popping up and I could tell she was in actual pain. I was about to say something when she leaned in, arms slipping around my neck, just after having thanked me. That hurt me even more. My own arms came up and wrapped around her at her shoulders, holding her in just the fashion she held me, there was nothing sexual, nothing lustful about it; I just wanted to believe that this moment was real and that she wasn't some dream.
"Gods Aza, don't thank me, I can't bare it." I whispered against her hair. "I've done nothing that warrents your thanks." I brought my hand up to her head and held it there, holding her close to me. It felt so good, so right, I would have been lieing to myself if I had not secretly hoped that this would signal the beginning of a new chapter betwen us, that this would be something grand and wonderful and that all the things I wanted would come back to me. I pulled back then, my hand noticing something different about her back.
"You're hurt." I said as I knit my brows in concern. "What did you do Azabel?" My hand that was on her head cupped her face as I bade her to look at me with actions alone. "Are you hurt?"
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 14, 2010 16:43:14 GMT -5
He held me in return, and it wasn't until he did that I realized I'd held my breath. I wasn't sure that he would have held me, or that things would be.. Elua I didn't know. Different, mayhap? All I knew is that all the worry, all the fear in my heart at feeling him in my arms disappeared as soon as he moved his own around me, and for a moment all I felt was safety.
He whispered into my hair, and I just stopped myself from pulling back to look at him, but before I could process that thought his hand was on my head, holding me to him. Not a pinning gesture, not one where he gave me no choice, just a light touch, and I knew all I had to do was to pull back even slightly and he'd release me. I stayed pressed into him, my face drifting closer to pressing onto his shoulder, when suddenly he asked me in motion to look at him. His hand was on my face, gently and non intrusive, and I sat back a little, my cheeks coloring slightly. I hadn't meant to confess this to anyone. Balta, mayhap, but no one else. I certainly hadn't thought I'd see Del...
"It's nothing, really," I said softly. Our faces were close enough that I didn't have to speak loudly, and I blushed a little more, looking down away from his eyes. My face shifted a little in his hand, but I didn't pull away, just forced myself to look back at him again, watching the outline of his mouth as I spoke anew. "Just a few scratches, really.. I visited the Temple of Kushieth earlier today."
Elua, if I wasn't blushing before I was now. I could only imagine how that would appear to someone else; it was all very accepted, but I'd never done anything like that before, nothing.. but then again, I'd never done anything that warranted it. My eyes stayed on his lips, and I waited.. dreaded... his reaction.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 14, 2010 18:33:14 GMT -5
"You did what?" I asked her, my eyes open a little in shock before they furrowed deeply. "What in the Gods name did you do that for." I sighed and rose, moving to sit on the couch and pulled at the back of her gown to get a better look.
"Come on, up you." I said as I rose from sitting next to her; I couldn't get a good look at her back and I knew I needed to be sure she was taking care of it. This, completely, wasn't like her. "What in Elua's name would possess you to do such a thing." I added as I moved through the room till I found a jar of salve; at least she had that much, so she must have seen come one.
"Have you been taking care of it?" I asked in a stern voice as I looked over the jar and then turned heading back in her direction.
"You need to take your gown off so I can put this on you." When I reached her I sighed, still holding the jar, my hand reaching out to cup her face gently, my thumb stroking over her cheek. "Azabel," I said softly then as I looked at her. "Tell me you didn't do this because of me... because of us." My brows knit softly as I looked at her, afraid I already knew the answer to that.
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 14, 2010 18:56:01 GMT -5
He was disappointed. I could see it in how his lips formed, hear it in his voice once the shock died down. I didn't know how that made me feel; I didn't have much time to reflect on it as I watched him bustle about, trying to pull at my gown before abandoning me to go search out salve.
"I needed to go." My face fell a little, and somewhere inside me I felt like I should be angry, but I didn't have it in me anymore. I didn't have the confidence I needed, so instead I just looked away from him until he was next to me again, cupping my face in his hand. My skin burned at his touch as it had in the hallway, the feel of it imprinting on my mind, and I closed my eyes, leaning my face a little into it. The tears threatened to fall again, so instead of looking at him I just kept my eyes closed, struggling in silence for a long moment before I could answer him.
"Atonement."
It came out in a whisper, and I pulled my face from his hand, turning away from him to make a pace of the room. My almost empty wine bottle stood on a little glass table, hip high, and I stared at it before pouring the rest of it into a glass and sipping at it. I was a wreck, but I couldn't bear to be anything else right now. Finally I couldn't help it, and I looked at him again, biting at my lower lip. "If it wasn't for my pride, mayhap this never would have happened. If I could just.. let go, maybe everything would have been fine, and we wouldn't be standing like this here today. You with salve in your hand, and me? Azabel de Somerville."
I sighed softly and put my wineglass down again. I didn't move to take my dress down in back, though with the way they sat on my shoulders it wouldn't be hard. "The healer has been here and gone," I added, quieter. "He said it'll be at its worst today and tomorrow, and day by day after it'll get better. I had to do something, Del... You don't understand how.. I.. Elua, don't be disappointed."
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 14, 2010 19:34:29 GMT -5
I sighed softly as I watched her move, putting my hand down as I watched her and listened to her. I felt even worse and my head hung down in shame at what she spoke about; picking up her glass she drank more wine and I had to sigh at that, this to was of my doing.
"Azabel." I said softly. "I'm not mad at you, if thats what you think. In fact I think the same thing I have always thought of you. Impressed, enamoured; its why I fell in love with you to begin with." I put down the jar in my hand and went to stand close to her. "I'm upset, because I do know what you felt, I feel the same way about myself. I am... disgusted at how I behaved.... Besides, your pride had nothing to do with what I did... that day." I took a breath, looking away as I did. "That was the final straw, the way I behaved... theres nothing that you could ever do to deserve my behaviour that day. I was just so frustrated and anger... with myself, not you." I reached up and touched her hair, almost unconcious of the act, as if we were still married.
"Now please, would you take off your gown and let me help you. You need some one to tend to you. And if you won't let me, at least let me call for some one you trust instead." I knit my brows gently. "Please, just let me put this on so your beautiful skin isn't ruined."
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 14, 2010 20:08:30 GMT -5
I listened to him as he talked, didn't walk away from him again. I stood, rooted, watching him with reddened eyes as he spoke of how sickened he was of himself, how upset he was... with himself. He blamed himself for all of it, didn't pin the initial flaws on me like he had before. Or mayhap it'd all blurred.. it was hard to keep straight, when all you wanted to do was fix things.
He touched my hair again, a flawless, effortless gesture, and I remembered how easy it was to respond to it. How easy it was to just breathe, to just be. I fought against closing my eyes again, though I knew if he had been touching my cheek I'd have turned my face into his hand, breathed his scent in, nuzzled closer. He begged me for trust, wanting to help me, and it surprised me how relaxed I was at taking my dress off in front of him. It wasn't as if he'd never seen me naked before... and there was something different about our meeting this time, a distinct lack of sexual tension.
"If my pride hadn't been so strong in the beginning, the night you returned from Valerian, mayhap we'd have avoided all this, though." Couldn't he see that? I reached up, my fingers touching his hand in my hair, my palm sliding over the back of his hand and my own fingers looping over, clasping his hand. "Everything else.. Gods, I've thought about it time and time again, and it doesn't change anything. You were mad and hurt, and I was the same, and we couldn't coexist together. Mayhap if it'd happened another time, without the pressure of the royal wedding too, but it worked out like that, and we both suffered for it." My hand squeezed his gently, and I sighed before letting the subject die away.
"You don't need to call anyone else," I murmured, reaching to undo the lacings under my right arm that held the dress tight over my waist and hips. Those loosened, I shifted my shoulders, wincing at the pain it caused my back. The bandages wrapped around my torso went mostly under my breasts, and they felt tight as when they'd first been put on, thankfully. My dress slid down, and I caught it before it fell completely, stepping out of it with a blush crossing my cheeks.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 14, 2010 20:48:11 GMT -5
I swallowed, I had to, I had to swallow to keep from looking down as she let her gown fall so easily from her form. It didn't matter how many woman I had ever seen, how many I'd see for the rest of my life, Aza was the only woman who could make me hard with out even trying. I was a good boy, I didn't look at her breasts.
But I took a deep breath, reminding myself what I was doing, and why I had to behave, then took step forward. Her torso was wrapped in bandages and when I reached her I tentitively reached out and began to unwind them, reaching around her each time I did. When they finally came off I tossed them to the couch and turned to grab the salve; once in hand I reached out and took Azabel's hand.
"Come on, its easier of you're laying down." I said softly then turned, and headed into the bedroom with Aza following behind me. The walk seemed like it took for ever, like we were walking through a thick mollases around my ankles, but when we reached the bed I turned to her and released her hand. "On your stomach please." I murmured gently.
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 14, 2010 21:30:17 GMT -5
The color didn't fade in my face but only intensified, and picked my hair up out of his way as he unbandaged me, his arms going around me so carefully that I knew he was taking great care not to brush any part of my body with his. I stayed silent through it, lifting my hair out of his way, and if his eyes never strayed to my breasts, my eyes never strayed from his face.
When he took my hand in his and led me on towards the bed, I followed him without resistance. My steps altered slightly to match his, though I paused to lay my dress across the back of a chair, and I gave him as close to a wry smile as I could manage right now as I laid down, my voice murmuring into the coverlet. "It is, is it?"
I was jesting, a poor attempt, and I peeked over my shoulder at him to make sure he knew it. The cool air kissed my skin and I shivered as goosebumps rose, my eyes closing as I nestled into the bed.
"When did you come back into the city?" I asked it softly, but I never really knew. One moment he was gone, the next here, with no solid line there for me to point at.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 14, 2010 21:46:29 GMT -5
I had to smile a little, her jest would have made me blush had I been in a position to think more on her figure, the way she moved, or the way her skin always seemed to smell spicy like cinnamon, even if I never got near enough to smell it. I watched her fluidly move, laying on her stomach, and took a deep breath.
You will not get hard, you will not get hard.... Death, war... Taxes... Thing about the fact that you might very well never see this woman again. Think about the agony of loss. That did it, if I gave into any of my sexual desires of Azabel I could kiss any sort of reconciliation with her good bye. I had to be good.
"The night of Midwinter." I replied softly, undoing the jar as I moved to sit on the edge of the bed before moving her hair out of the way and dipping my fingers into the salve. Her wounds didn't look too bad; Priest of Kushiel were notoriously unfaltering in their flaggings, she was lucky they were not worse. With my fingers coated I began to smoothly coat her skin, starting with her shoulders.
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 14, 2010 22:05:37 GMT -5
My eyes widened slightly as he spoke, and I glanced back at him as he did. "So long... I never knew you were here this long." I said it softly, a little sadly. It was probably a good thing; I needed the extra time, and Elua, we were here now, working together without hitch. He wants me back. He wants me back. Oh gods, does he really? I wasn't just day dreaming that? But no, I wasn't. He'd kneeled and spread his arms wide for me, begging me, and I couldn't even answer him.
I wanted to roll over even now, but I made myself be still as he started working on my wounds. It stung, even through the coolness of the salve, and I gasped softly before gritting my teeth together. He moved so carefully, and I closed my eyes again, taking deep, even breaths. "I have to admit, though," I said softly, my eyes remaining closed as he worked upon my back, "I learned a few things at the Temple today." I paused, wanting to ask him if he'd ever been flogged before, but I couldn't bring myself to. Instead I concentrated on laying still, following his fingers with my mind as they moved over my back.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 14, 2010 22:20:45 GMT -5
She gasped, and I felt myself get hard... I was happy she had her eyes closed. She was... even more beautiful, if that was possible. Its not that she was hurt that arroused me, its that she had had the strength to do it, that she had endured to, and do so with grace I was sure. If this moment showed anything about her it was that I loved her more then the sun itself. She was so beautiful like this.
"What's that?" I asked, not just because I was curious but because I needed to talk more and think less, my fingers trying not to falter at my thoughts. "I hope that you're about to tell me how lucky you are that these aren't worse." I added with a little smile that should in my teasing words.
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 15, 2010 12:22:58 GMT -5
His fingers were tender on me, shifting across lines in my back, but it still stung to feel I flinched with a particularly fresh spot hurt, and just barely stopped myself from arcing away from his hand; if I could withstand the flogging, I could withstand this. His added comment mad a smile flicker to my mouth; ironic he should say that when I was thinking about how it stung. "No.. though the Priest did say he was going to choose his softest flogger," I murmured as I pillowed my head upon my arms. My feet crossed at the ankle, and I continued to lay quiet for him, letting him administer the salve to me.
"I.. don't know how to put it so much. I always knew pain wasn't always hurtful, but I never really understood it until today," I said softly, a little hesitantly. "I was just starting to experience.. Elua, I don't know what exactly, when the flogger stopped and he poured the salt water over my back."
That brought a shudder to me, involuntarily, at the memory of how much that had hurt. Even the bath after hadn't erased all the pain of it away. "I always pictured the temple as a frightening place as well, but the bronze masked priest.. He didn't scare me; if anything, he comforted me."
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 15, 2010 12:32:54 GMT -5
At that I did falter, my fingers stopping as they worked over her skin; I wasn't sure how I felt about what she was saying to. So many times I had thought about all the things I wanted to do to her, the terrible, twisted, wonderful things that made my member jerk in my breeches. But I had always feared that, feared pushing her to a point that she would never be able to come back from, a point that would truly make her hate me, a point that would make her fear me. A point like that day in our rooms, in Kusheth.
I didn't know how to respond to her comment, about pain and hurt, I could have said a thousand things, things about love, and the pain of loss compared to the pain of a leather flogger... but I didn't.
"Its good that you was easy on you," I said softly as I dipped my fingers back into the salve, collecting a little more before I began work again on her back. "The priests and priestess' of the temple aren't supposed to be scary, or anything to fear. So I'm happy to hear he gave you some comfort."
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 15, 2010 13:03:45 GMT -5
I wouldn't have thought anything of the lack of response to my comment of pain and hurt, but my mind was on the movement of his fingers still, so when he stopped moving them I couldn't help but be aware of it. What was he thinking? So many times since I'd fled his estate in Kusheth I'd wondered that same thing, wondered where he was or what he was doing, what he was thinking about or saying. Was he writing letters to his children, or buying them gifts? Was he shopping in a market, or caring for his duties as Prince? Watching birds in a park, going for a horseback ride around his estate, eating dinner or drinking wine, brandy, sleeping or bathing...
A thousand things, a thousand scenarios... and now he was here beside me again, working over me as I lay naked next to him. That I didn't feel uncomfortable even in the slightest made me wonder no little bit, amazed me. What did it mean, if anything?
"He did," I responded softly, my eyes opening again, taking in the bedroom that was mine, but wholly unfamiliar. I sighed softly before looking at him, watching the line of his arm as he moved it to administer salve. "Are they normally much worse in their floggings, then?"
Not what I wanted to ask, but I couldn't bring myself to say it, didn't even want to let myself think it. Instead I turned my head a little more, looking up at his face, almost peeking at him over my upper arm as I continued to pillow my head on my arms.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 15, 2010 13:29:13 GMT -5
I quirked a brow and looked at her for a moment, her question seemed a little pointed and I wondered if she was trying to get at something. Her previous comments and observations made me wonder greatly about what was going on in that pretty head of hers.
"They can be," I replied as my hand was now working its way lower, almost to her rear. I had to surpress a shudder then, as desire rose and I could feel it in my groin once again. "The last time I made pennance at the Temple of Kushiel they used a metal tipped flogger, it usually cuts the skin far deeper then the simple leather thongs." I couldn't help but look at her rear then. It was practically staring me in the face and I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath to push back the image of burying my face into her flesh and her nether lips.
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 15, 2010 15:37:14 GMT -5
I hadn't expected him to tell me about what had been used on him before, or even that he'd gone, but I found myself listening irregardless, trying to picture, and then flinching when I did picture it. "That's.." Horrible? It was as it was, and I didn't have the experience to gainsay it. "..a lot worse than I received." Even I could tell that, and I repressed a shudder at the thought of Del strapped and whipped, of anyone strapped and whipped with metal tipped floggers.
I watched him, and had my eyes not already been on his face before he started talking, I likely would have missed it. His hands worked low on my back, a sensitive area, and my body tensed under his touch.. and his eyes drifted lower, then closed, a deep breath filling his lungs and expanding his chest. My mouth lips parted, and a little crease deepened between my brows as I realized what had happened; he was ogling me? My cheeks burned as I shifted out from under his fingers, sitting up and scooting off the bed.
"I think that's probably enough." Now I felt wholly naked, and I resisted the urge to cover myself as I wasted no time in taking up the robe I'd worn all afternoon, silken and light. I pulled it around me, tucking it across my body, mindless of how it brushed the salve he'd just administered. My cheeks burned, and I looked at him for a second before looking away again. I didn't know what to say, or even how I felt at it, whether or not I liked it, or if I felt violated or.. A roil of emotions swirled in me, and I opened my mouth to say something before closing it again, only to try once more and fail. What could I say? "Thank you for helping me," I offered at last, though it didn't seem like enough, whatever else it was that should have come out.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 15, 2010 15:46:35 GMT -5
I had done the very thing I had fought hardest again, and gave into my feelings. She pulled away.
I closed the lid on the jar and rose, moving to place it down and cleaned my hand off on a linen towel. I supposed something in me broke because I didn't say anything, I didn't think anything, all I felt was dispair. Could I do nothing right?
I moved to the window, my back to her as I stared out into the night, the freshly fallen snow reflecting the bit of moon light that was shining and I realized how late it was.
"I should go," I murmured over my shoulder. "Its getting late and you should sleep." I turned and looked forward again, my eyes focusing on the outside as I tried to not let myself get wrapped up in my feelings. For one brief shinning moment there had been hope that something might be reconciled between us, and I dashed at all away because of my... my prick. I forced myself to remember that just because we were talking again meant nothing, that just because I wanted her back, did not mean thats what she wanted. Remember the rumours? "I hear the Princess is already courting another. Some Aragonian business man." That was enough to quell all my desire.
I just hope he treats you better then I did.
I turned around to look at her then, offering a faint flicker of a smile. "It was good to see you again Aza," I said gently, trying not to sound sad. "I hope that... that your back gets better soon."
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 15, 2010 16:21:54 GMT -5
He shifted, slowly, and I watched as if everything was in a dreamlike fashion. I could swear I could feel my eyes begin to fill with water, stinging in the back, working around up front as my vision slowly became awash. Del floated, and I watched the linen towel tumble slowly from his hand to fall back on the table, watched as he turned and looked out the window.
The seconds seemed minutes, hours, that he stared outside, and when he turned to look at me, his voice slowly toning he should leave, the dream-like bubble pricked. Leave? The tears came forth again, and I took a few steps towards him before pausing, one hand keeping the robe pinned around me, and the other half reaching out towards him. Gods! Even now I didn't know what to say, only that I wasn't ready for him to leave, to walk out. Something told me that if he did now, that I wouldn't see him again.. Elua, possibly ever barring obligatory events, and even then we wouldn't be able to talk.
"Del," I said softly, my fingers trembling. "I'm sorry, I just.. we were talking of atonement, of understanding things, and then I saw you.. you.." I moved now, walking to him, my eyes sad as I looked up at him. I wasn't going to let him walk out so easily; he'd have to physically skirt me. Gods, it was too soon, too soon -- I felt as if there was so much more to be said, and I was terrified that if he left now, nothing would. "Don't leave," I whispered, my arms clasped around my middle.
|
|
Prince Delaunay de la Courcel
Royal
His Royal Highness the Duc de Montespan, Prince of the Blood; House Courcel and Montespan *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Son of Prince Imriel de la Courcel & Laurette de Montespan.
Posts: 2,360
|
Post by Prince Delaunay de la Courcel on Apr 15, 2010 16:40:24 GMT -5
I looked down and away, feeling shame at my actions as she came to me, her hand out stretched and I sighed, still unable to look at her. "I can't help it Azabel." I whispered softly before forcing myself to look at her, the pain in her face at the thought that I would leave. I didn't like that pain I saw, what I did like is that she seemed to want me here; that was enough.
"It is not simply that you are beautiful, it is not just that your smile could melt the sun with its brillance." I took a breath, my eyes never looking away from hers. "Its so much more then that, its in every step you take, every breath, every word, every graceful movement. Its in your character and with wit, its in the way... that first time when I called you cousin, and you had no fear of telling me that you didn't like it." I smiled a little, my arms clasped behind me back as I stepped a little more forward.
"I can not help but desire you, all of you; even now, even after everything that has passed between us. I simply ache at the sight of you." I took a breath then, my lids fluttering a little as I looked down again, shame filling me once more.
"But that was inapropriate, you're vulnerable, and the worst thing for me to do is... is what I just did; take advantage of that." I tighted my jaw, clenching my teeth before I looked at her again. "Forgive me.... I will not leave, not if you wish me to stay. I will stay until the end of time... anything you wish I will do it for you."
|
|
Princess Azabel de Somerville
Royal (Manager)
Her Highness, Princess of the Blood; House Somerville *Voted Member of Worst Character Dynamic 2010*
Posts: 2,048
|
Post by Princess Azabel de Somerville on Apr 15, 2010 19:11:38 GMT -5
Again we were reduced to this... Del faltering and running, and this time I had to stop him, to try and salvage whatever I could so we could salvage.. What, exactly? I didn't know. If nothing else I wanted the pain to stop, stop for me, stop for him, but I knew no matter what I did it wouldn't make a difference. He'd still hurt and blame himself, and I was still going to be going through everything that I was dealing with.
Would nothing ever get better? Would nothing help?
I despaired, and I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to lean on him, to feel his arms around me and whispering to me that it would be alright, and part of me was afraid to, burned as I was after the last time that I'd seen him. He'd scared me, scared me more than any living person ever had. I'd thought he was, at the very best, going to beat me or strangle me, and at the very worst? But he hadn't; he'd snapped himself out of his rage and let me go, and go I did... That was part of Delaunay, a part I was now very much aware of, and would always wonder if, the next time I made him angry would he snap again? Would he be able to stop himself?
And then there was the other part of him... The part that broke down in the hallway and begged forgiveness, begged for me to love him and let him hold me. The part that shone with care and want and tenderness, the part that I'd fallen in love with so long ago. The part that I still loved, this very moment, as he stood before me looking ashamed at ogling my naked body. It wasn't that I really blamed him for it, but it was the time that he did it, the context, the fact that I trusted him... and he knew that all, which is why he stood before me as he did, confessing his love and adoration once more. It helped and it stung to hear it, to know that everything could be in our grasp again, and at the same time it'd never be the same. I struggled not to cry again, my chest shaking a little with the effort.
"I think," I said, swallowing, then taking a deep breath, "that mayhap I should get you some water this time."
Turning a little, I looked at him, beckoning him to follow me with my eyes alone. Both my hands clasped my robe around my middrift tightly, though I could feel it hugging on my back. It hurt, but it didn't burn like it did before; the slave working, as long as the robe didn't soak it up and wash it away, anyhow. Quick work was made of tying it, and I moved into the other room, pouring him a glass of water, then returning it to where he was.
"It's.." I sighed softly. "I never thought that this would happen.. any of it. I wouldn't let myself." My words were distinctly quieter, and I looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping he'd understand. "I wouldn't let myself even think that I'd see you again, or there'd be a chance at anything. All I could think was going day to day, surviving the court, trying to find myself again... I don't want you to go Del, but I want you to know too that I'm.. lost." I didn't know a better word, and I wasn't sure even that would convey anything close to what I felt. "I feel as if I'm in a cloudy room, and there's no sign of light anywhere sometimes, or even which way is up. I need to try to find my way out again."
|
|