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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 6, 2006 18:50:31 GMT -5
I had thought carefully about what Gareth had told me about Avrielle when I dressed for our first lesson together. He had mentioned she was certain that the harsher weapons would do more harm, so in a move designed to show her otherwise, I had worn a dress with a low neckline. The imprint of Delaunay's hand was still vivid against my skin, so perfectly wrapped around my throat it looked as if someone had painted it there.
I had talked long and openly with Trinette, both of us going through a myriad of emotions. She had agree to let me try teaching Avrielle, both because she thought I might be good at it and because she knew I desperately needed a new focus.
Wanting to get to know Avrielle a little first, I had arranged to meet her in the gardens, in a semi-private area surrounded by winter slumbering bushes.
Settling on the bench, I tucked my feet up beneath me and waited.
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 6, 2006 19:44:59 GMT -5
Since I'd arrived at Valerian House, I'd been sleeping less and less. My days and nights were preoccupied with reading, writing, and study of history and philosophy, and my dreams were fitful and full of bits and pieces of what I had studied the previous day. Since my first and only lesson with Gareth, the pattern had intensified, and I slept only 5 or 6 hours a night now, determined to prove my worth.
On my last report to Trinette, she had told me to go to the gardens to meet with a new teacher. No lesson, just talking, and I had readily agreed. The state I was in, I desperately needed to talk.
I walked to the gardens and spotted a young woman about my age sitting amongst the bushes. Quietly, I said, "Douleur?"
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 6, 2006 19:49:46 GMT -5
Looking up at the sound of my name, I smiled. "Hello," I said, "You must be Avrielle. Come, sit." I motioned to a bench next to the one I was on. "How are you? How are you finding life here at Valerian?"
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 6, 2006 21:21:25 GMT -5
She was very beautiful and elegant and composed. In short, everything I wished I could be. Right away, I made up my mind that I would listen to and respect her; I would not fail another teacher.
"I am well, but tired." I said. "I've been working very hard, reading, studying, writing. I am trying very hard to garner the knowledge I need to be a good adept here. How are you?"
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 6, 2006 22:09:05 GMT -5
"I'm well, thank you," I told her, still smiling. It was mostly true and there was no way for her to know otherwise.
"The most important parts of being an adept here can't be found in books, or at least that is what I believe. The books and writing are important, but will only get you so far. First though, tell me about yourself. How did you end up at Orchis? How did you come to be here?" Knowing more about her would help me teach her. I wanted to know what desire she sought to fulfill here.
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 9:20:45 GMT -5
I sat beside her, furrowing my brow before beginning.
"I was born in Eglantine House," I began. "My mother was a great dancer, and she trained me right from the start. I am a very poor chanteuse, however, so it was not Eglantine for me." I smiled at her so she might understand. "I have always been told I have a beautiful smile, and it is the reason I was sent to Orchis. I loved to smile and laugh and play, and it just seemed that Orchis would be the House for me."
I took a breath before continuing, trying to sort out the events in my head. "I went to the Midwinter Masque," I said slowly, "ready to represent my House with pride, and maybe attract a patron or two. I could not have predicted what happened there. There was a," and here I paused, because it sounded so ludicrous, "a Shahrizai who I became quite taken with. We danced together and talked for a long time, and I was very charming with him. But I felt like," I clenched my fists together to try and embody the feelings I felt now, "I wanted him to possess me. I wanted him to use his will and his body to subdue me. Ultimately it came to nothing, but now I often think of him, and wonder if he knows that I am here now."
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 11:32:38 GMT -5
"No," I told her. "It's highly improbable that he knows you are here. Unless he went looking for you at Orchis, how would he?"
I moved just a little to face her better, having to purposefully keep my hands from going to my neck as I thought about Shahrizai.
"I remember the first time I met a Shahrizai, it is not something one can really ever forget. Especially not a Valerian. Tell me, what exactly did you want him to do to you?"
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 11:43:47 GMT -5
"At the time, I had not even considered that I was meant for Valerian, so I did not think about objects or dungeons or the like," I said. "But there was a moment where I thought he would kiss me. He did not, but I did not just want a kiss. I wanted to be crushed to his body, held so I could not move, and swept away by his passion. I wanted him to control me and I wanted him to tell me what to do, so that I could do it and please him. If he had asked if he could take me home, I might have said yes, and I would have ruined my life." I exhaled deeply.
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 12:04:01 GMT -5
"And if he'd taken you home, is there anything you wouldn't have done for him? Anything you would have denied him?" I asked. I wanted to know how much of her limits were self imposed from fear and how many of them true limits.
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 12:12:39 GMT -5
"I...don't know," I said softly. "I fear whips with metal tips. And flechettes." I shuddered a bit. "But I don't know why I do."
Then I remembered. "I don't like to be humiliated," I said, a little more strongly. "At least, not in public. In private, he could have said and done anything he wanted. But public humiliation, that is something I won't tolerate. I still have pride, even if I do desire what I do."
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 17:53:08 GMT -5
"Fletchettes are my only limit," I told her. "Not for the pain they would cause, which I have been told there is no true description for, but because they have always chilled my blood as so… unintimate… impersonal. The limits you begin with though, do not have to be the limits you have for the rest of your time as an adept. You may find after a time you crave more than what you are allowing yourself. Your debut is a beginning, not an end. You may also find that you are more open with a repeat patron. Once you build trust with them, then you may want to explore more."
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 17:59:31 GMT -5
I nodded. "I see," I murmured. "Yes, I see that." I imagined exploring more as I grew older, and I could see it happening. Maybe not right away, but as I matured, I knew that there would be more experience and less fear.
"There was a Mandrake," I said slowly. "I was attracted to him, too, but not in the same way as Tal - my lord Shahrizai. I...feared him more. I don't think that I would let the Mandrake have everything he wanted of me. I did not," and here I used her word, "trust him."
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 18:06:24 GMT -5
"That's interesting," I said, wrinkling my brow slightly. "Given the two, I would always trust a Mandrake about a Shahrizai. Mandrakes are brought up with the same rules of any other House. Plus, as much as they like to think themselves our masters, there is a companionship there born of the same dedication to Namaah. A Mandrake overstepping a limit, or breaking a rule would suffer far dire consequences than even the lowest of Shahrizai."
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 18:13:43 GMT -5
I nodded to show I understood. "Meaning no disrespect," I said. I was treading very carefully; I liked Douleur, and I did not want to lose her as my teacher. "I understand that a Mandrake is trained, and there are rules to follow, so perhaps the danger is less. But there was just," I brought my fist to my heart for emphasis, "a feeling, in me. It's difficult to explain, and I am not a romantic. But this Shahrizai, I felt comfortable with him as a person, and not only as a possible patron."
I shook my head. "But yes," I said, "I understand what you mean. Practically speaking, there are rules Mandrakes have to follow that Shahrizai don't. But isn't that the point of the signale? Isn't that something that everyone, patron or adept, must abide by?"
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 18:29:20 GMT -5
"That is the point of a signale, but there has been more than one patron banished from Valerian for refusing to abide by an adept's signale," I told her. "And I do not discount personal intuition, but you are talking about two people you just met that at the most you spent a couple hours with. I have made error of mistaking physical attraction for something deeper, as well as assuming that the persona you meet at a fete would be the same as the one that appears in the bedroom. Because of the very nature of our assignations, Valerians run a greater risk by making such mistakes."
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 18:36:03 GMT -5
I could not respond. I knew she was right, in the way you know that two and two are four is right. I badly wanted to know her story, that I might learn something from it, but I did not ask. For now, I only listened and took her words to heart. She was older, she had experience, and I would respect her.
"I see," I said quietly. "I understand. I will try and not make the same mistakes again."
With understanding came unbearable sadness. And with sadness came resolve. It seemed that everything new I had learned only made me more resolute.
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 18:43:06 GMT -5
"I don't mean to make it sound as everyone will be lying to you and it will always be a series of mistakes," I said, smiling softly. "There is a feeling that comes from being with someone who fulfills your most inner desires that I truly think would be hard to find at another House. While most of the lesson you learned at Orchis are the same as you would have learned here; history, politics, dancing; there is six years of… mind-set and specialized lessons that are being forced into these six months. It may seem a little harsh, and a lot overwhelming, but if it gets to be too much at once, tell me."
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 18:46:57 GMT -5
I nodded vehemently. "I will perform at every lesson to the absolute best of my ability," I said solidly. "I know that I have a lot to learn, but I am determined to learn it." Determined to prove everybody wrong, I added silently. It still pained me to think of how disappointed my mother was in me, and I wanted more than anything for her to be proud of me again.
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 18:57:00 GMT -5
I wondered if her vehemence was there before she had been dismissed by Gareth, I would ask him about it.
"Come, let us go inside and find an empty room to work in," I said, standing and smoothing my dress.
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 19:02:56 GMT -5
I stood and followed her. Something caught my eye and I gasped. There was a bruise, a perfect handprint, around her neck. I wondered how I had not noticed it, but I also had not looked at her directly, out of respect, or nerves. I didn't say anything, though, it was not my place to ask.
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 19:06:39 GMT -5
Hearing her gasp, I stopped and looked at her.
"Yes?" I asked, curious as to what had caused her reaction.
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 19:10:14 GMT -5
I must have looked like a doe in the forest, eyes wide. "Your neck," I said quietly, "is that what you were talking about when you mentioned a person being different in the bedroom?"
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 19:14:59 GMT -5
"This is what I meant by the danger we can face with a patron," I said, tilting my head so she could see the mark more clearly. "I also left my neck bare so you could see that it's not always the tool, but how it is wielded that makes a difference. This happened on Midwinter. The marks from the whip that night are gone, but this remains. Do not assume that the more dangerous looking weapons are really more dangerous. That is your first lesson from me."
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 19:18:58 GMT -5
I listened intently, her words sinking in like water to a sponge. I would never forget the mark on her neck; it would always serve as a reminder of this lesson. "Elua," I whispered. The more dangerous looking weapons are not always the most dangerous, I thought. I tossed the lesson over in my mind, repeating it again and again, knowing I would not forget it. "I will remember."
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 19:22:29 GMT -5
"Good," I said, smiling again. "Now let us go find that room."
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 19:24:27 GMT -5
"Yes," I said. "Lead on, bright star," I joked. I may be a Valerian now, but there was still a bit of playful Orchis in me yet.
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 19:31:36 GMT -5
Laughing, I led her inside and through the halls to the assignation area. After determining an empty room, I led her inside, gently closing the door behind us.
"You have been in one of these before, yes?" I asked her.
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 19:33:37 GMT -5
"Yes," I said, nodding, "with Gareth."
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Post by Douleur nó Shahrizai on Oct 7, 2006 21:08:27 GMT -5
"And what did you learn in that time?" I asked as I sat on the foot of the bed. I was curious as to how she would relay what Gareth had taught her.
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Avrielle nó Valerian
Adept
Valerian House
Daughter of Annette n? Fronsac and Niall Southerly
Posts: 988
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Post by Avrielle nó Valerian on Oct 7, 2006 21:19:00 GMT -5
"I learned how to use the rings," I said. "He asked me if I knew all the ways to be bound to a bed, also. But I did know. He taught me that leather cuffs are the gentlest, and that silk is deceptive. He explained the difference between a cat o'nine tails and a flail, and that different crops will produce different effects on the skin. I learned about flechettes, and about the pommel-stand and the whipping cross. He jerked me out of many misconceptions I had, as well."
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