Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
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Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 26, 2009 17:40:05 GMT -5
His words made my eyes water- I knew better than to be so rude, to let my frustrations have free reign with my tongue. It never ended up well, just with people upset and I hated the way that exposing my feelings left me a bit more vulnerable. "No, I'm sorry," I told him, blinking quickly and grasping his hands in return, careful not to hold on too tight. "I- It just seems that no matter what I do people will say what they wish. Because I spend time by myself I'm called unfeeling, icy, concerned only with rationality and birds and never with people. Others take the same facts and say that I'm never seen because I have more lovers than fingers and toes and I'm so busy with them that I can't look after my people. No matter what there are people waiting for me to fail- and only few who trust me to succeed."
Swallowing the lump in my throat I turned my face down slightly in shame and tried to will away more signs of general frustration. "I don't want to burden you with these things- I'm sorry for that. It just seems very tiring at times, and i know it shouldn't; but I care what people think, I want them to like and trust me and I always seem unable to make that happen. I want to be good but I seem to be worst to the people who actually like me."
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 26, 2009 17:51:19 GMT -5
My pride had faded with my words, and disappeared completely with hers. I put my arm around her shoulders and drew her in to rest against me. I was not good with upset women - especially when they cried - but I would do my best for her.
"It is alright Lessa. Talk if you need, make rain if you need. I know you are not those things," I murmured soothingly.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 26, 2009 20:10:05 GMT -5
I wanted to relax when he drew me over to him, I'd been craving a bit of closeness- but I was simply too close to emotion, too raw, and I knew the emotions it brought could only be negative and weakening. Taking a deep breath I forced my will to become steel, my eyes to dry as much as I was able. "I won't cry," I assured him, my voice holding surety though I was more trying to convince myself. "No good comes of it. Nothing good ever has come of it."
With another steadying breath- but remaining against him, I couldn't pull myself away- I looked up at him, my expression rueful. "I'm glad you don't think I'm like what those people say but- what if I am? What if you and I are wrong in that regard and they're right? I don't think I'm a whore and I don't think I'm frigid- but I am something in between. Isn't everyone?"
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 27, 2009 0:55:51 GMT -5
I caressed her jaw lightly as she looked up at me, and met her eyes with a smile. "You do not act like whore in front of me or people," I said with an encouraging smile, though I was very careful with my words that followed. "You say, said, that you have known men. Is it many?"
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 27, 2009 8:05:21 GMT -5
"I don't know," I replied, flushing slightly but with an expression of determination; I wasn't going to let myself be shamed from answering. I wanted to speak my mind for a time, and if I was ashamed of myself later I would take the consequences. "I know that to you a lady should be someone who is a virgin- and there has been more than none. But I'm not reaching the numbers they say many do."
With a deep breath I steeled myself again before continuing with the actual answer, hoping that it would not cause him to recoil or- something worse. "There were three- is that too many, not enough? That is the honest number, whether people find it right or wrong. The last of them was many months ago, during the spring- and they were all very discreet." Perhaps that was too much detail; at thinking that I gave him a rueful smile. "It's always hard to know what is right when there's no clearly explained rules."
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 27, 2009 14:26:28 GMT -5
I knew when I asked the question that I wouldn't like the answer. To hear that she had been with anyone... Not only did it go against what I had been taught was right for a proper lady, but it made me jealous. And I think the latter was much more real.
But then I was completely honest with myself, and I drew in a deep breath. "I have more than three. So I think that you are safe."
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 27, 2009 16:05:29 GMT -5
He was disappointed in me- I could read it in his expression and his sigh, the way his demeanor seemed darker and more depressed. I wanted to apologize, but it was pointless, as I couldn't change my past and it would have been a disservice to Simon, Pieter and Ghislain when they'd done their best. Besides, two of those people were now dead, victims of the plague here and in a foreign land.
My expression stayed serene but solemn and I bit my lower lip for a moment. "If it's not too rude to ask- how many? For you, I mean," I asked finally and hesitantly, a bit afraid that the answer would be the straw to break his back.
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Fydor Romanov
Royal
His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 27, 2009 17:47:26 GMT -5
I am being honest remember. That means open to her ideas, her questions. That means trying to see things from her point of view. It's normal here, for her to want to know something like that.
I did a rapid count in my head, and when I spoke, my voice was small. "Seven?"
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 27, 2009 17:54:39 GMT -5
It had seemed fair to ask him, but he seemed so reluctant to answer- and now I understood why. He'd been with a few more people than I, which was completely new to me. Nodding in understanding I thought carefully about my words before replying. Every other man I'd- known- was less experienced than I was or only as much so. He'd had variety; no doubt I didn't seem quite as tempting a morsel as I had to the others. They simply hadn't known any better.
Smiling slightly I said, "That is not a terribly large number itself from my understanding of things. But it does mean that you know more than me and I was doubly wrong for mistaking you otherwise." Hopefully those words would appease his pride and offer an olive branch.
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Fydor Romanov
Royal
His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 27, 2009 20:13:53 GMT -5
I suppose, all in all, I was rather glad that she had slept with fewer people than I. Though she seemed as pleased by the thought of other partners as I was, and I felt better knowing that I wasn't the only one with jealous thoughts.
"What is mistaking?" I asked, puzzled by her round about way of saying things.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 27, 2009 20:29:15 GMT -5
"Mistaking is seeing things in the wrong way," I replied sedately, the comfortably familiar habit of calmly explaining words and statements bringing me some peace. I knew I had a different way of speaking from everyone else; it often confused people who knew d'Angeline well.
The light had begun to change, the sun shifting toward the horizon a bit and I looked at the sundial that sat near the bench where I was reclining against Fydor. At least I'd managed to keep myself mostly composed; being upset made my appetite more scant than it already was. "It will be time to eat soon- would you like to go inside or dine al fresco?" I asked Fydor politely but with a small smile holding just a bit of the mirth I'd felt earlier sliding the flower into his hair.
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Fydor Romanov
Royal
His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 28, 2009 0:52:06 GMT -5
I had phrased my question badly, and she gave an answer I knew. Gods I hated this language sometimes. I sounded perfectly intelligent speaking Ruskovian, but in D'Angeline I was a bumbling fool.
But the moment was past, so I let it go to ponder over later. "Al fresco is outside yes? I would like that," I said, smiling to see the sparkle return to her eye. Leaning in, I kissed her softly, just once.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 28, 2009 7:56:44 GMT -5
After all of the tensions of the afternoon and the words that had been exchanged previously his good-natured answer and kiss surprised me a bit; all I could do was accept it and smile while a flush spread over my cheeks, heating my skin in a pleasant way. "Yes, outside," I agreed after a moment, brushing my warm face against his shirt were I rested before I quite realized what I was doing and pulled back a bit. "I should probably go arrange for that then. It will only take a moment."
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Fydor Romanov
Royal
His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 28, 2009 23:05:27 GMT -5
"Alright," I replied with an easy smile.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 29, 2009 13:48:31 GMT -5
With a shy smile I stood slowly, brushing my skirt to straighten them a bit from where they'd shifted as I was sitting. "I'll be right back," I promised him, reaching down to squeeze his hand one last time before walking toward the house; my pace was quicker but it certainly wasn't a full-out run.
At the door I requested that the butler made known that I and another would be dining in the garden; with a nod he turned and moved inside to tell the kitchen staff and servers. There was a patio in he back garden overlooking the pond and dove-pens that would serve as the dining room for the evening. Another servant met me as soon as I stepped inside; of her I requested a bottle of Eisandine wine, light and fresh with hints of lavender. It was soon in my hands, along with two glasses, and I carefully took them back to where Fydor was sitting. "I thought you might be thirsty as well- does this suit you?"
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Fydor Romanov
Royal
His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 29, 2009 14:29:01 GMT -5
I was certainly not bored while she was gone, I had many thoughts to occupy my mind. My fingers steepled together before me, I wondered if I was on the right path. I had grown more than passing fond of Lessa, and knew it wouldn't take much more to call it love. But would I ever be enough for her? I was the youngest of seven, with no lands or fortunes to call my own. I was nowhere near as intelligent as she was. My D'Angeline was improving, but some days I wondered if I would ever be comfortable with it. She had been with men before, what if we did marry and she wasn't satisfied? And I certainly wasn't handsome like all the pretty boys gadding around this land. Was it fair to pursue Lessa when she could do so much better than me?
But then she returned, and even in the fading light she glowed with beauty. And I knew I couldn't help myself. Even though I knew I didn't deserve her, I wanted Lessa for my wife. She was too special to let go. "It suits me wonderful," I said with a smile.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 29, 2009 14:37:23 GMT -5
"I'm glad- I hoped you liked white wine," I replied with a wider but as-shy smile as I sat back down, setting the glasses beside me and the bottle on my lap. Someone had intelligently decided to go ahead and pop the cork, saving me the trouble and likely disaster of trying to pull it out. Luckily I had a moderately graceful hand and poured each of us a glass, then put the top back onto the bottle as I carefully set it onto the ground, then picked up a glass and offered it to him.
He'd seemed serious earlier by his pose but once I'd gotten closer he'd seemed to brighten, which in turn caused me to cheer up considerably. Perhaps things would be alright after all- and as my hope returned I felt everything that weighted me down growing lighter. "Did you miss me?" I teased carefully, a smile on my face.
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Fydor Romanov
Royal
His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 30, 2009 0:47:32 GMT -5
"Always," I replied with a grin. I wanted to lean in and kiss her again, but I didn't want to push her. Instead I accepted the glass and raised it in a toast.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 30, 2009 8:12:01 GMT -5
Brightening a bit as he took the glass I raised my own to match it. "What do you want to toast to?" I asked softly, my eyes on his and a light flush on my cheeks. I almost wished that I'd forgotten dinner and never moved from him- but it was best not to mention it, not to even act as though I noticed. I feared it would only make things between us as strained as they had been before. It was in me to impress him by living by his standards, even if I didn't know where those standards started or ended or even what they entailed.
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 30, 2009 22:47:01 GMT -5
I thought about it for a moment, gathering the right words. "To talking. Maybe the words do not always make us happy now, but we will be happy later when we know the other," I said with a soft smile, watching her face and hoping she would understand my message.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 31, 2009 9:02:17 GMT -5
"To talking- and understanding," I agreed, brushing my glass lightly against his own and offering a shy but warm smile in return, my spirits renewed by the wisdom of his words. The knowledge that such talks between us could continue without resentment or being ignored was a comforting idea and made me feel even more affectionate toward him. "I want to know you as much as I can."
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on May 31, 2009 15:54:20 GMT -5
"Me too," I said with a warm smile for her before I took a sip of wine. I was glad that she had taken my words they way they were meant, and I was happy that the sour notes of the day wouldn't be the true result of the time we had spent together.
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on May 31, 2009 16:12:54 GMT -5
Flushing softly I took a longer drink of my wine; he seemed in a good mood and I wondered if I could possibly start a light conversation with him that wouldn't result in my acting as a mad woman. "Do you like the wine?" I asked softly, hoping he would- I knew it was a subtle drink.
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on Jun 1, 2009 12:24:59 GMT -5
"Yes, it is nice. Very... flowery." The last word came out awkwardly, because I wasn't sure if it was a word at all. "Is that proper word? Flowery?"
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on Jun 1, 2009 14:46:44 GMT -5
"Yes, flowery is a very good description," I agreed, taking another sip of my own before continuing. "This wine has the essence of lavender in it- a very small purple flower that smells and tastes very sweet. The put it in while the wine is curing to lend its taste. They make this wine in Eisande so I suppose I'm just used to it."
Smiling softly I tried to think of something else for us to talk about- but I was not as adept at conversing as others and I was beginning to feel it acutely. "Are your brothers and sisters enjoying their time here as well?"
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on Jun 1, 2009 20:58:37 GMT -5
I listened to her explain about the wine, though a part of me just sat back and heard the rhythm of her voice. She was very easy to listen to that way, her speech was a thing of beauty. Even if she used big words.
"I think so. Alexei is happy I know, and Sergei is spending time with one of the princesses of Aragonia," I said with a soft smile. "And I think Olga is having better. But from all of my family, I think she will go back home after Alexei's marriage."
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on Jun 1, 2009 22:49:54 GMT -5
"Everyone thinks she will return? Why?" I asked curiously but gently, not wanting to pry too far or make him think I was demanding answers he didn't have. "You will miss her, I know that. Perhaps things will change and she will stay."
Looking down at my glass I swirled the dregs a bit, then took another sip. "But it's even better that everyone is enjoying themselves- and that the Queen and your brother's wedding has been arranged again. They both looked very unhappy apart."
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Fydor Romanov
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His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on Jun 1, 2009 23:23:16 GMT -5
"My sister does not think that she fits here, I think," I explained. "And I do not think that she likes D'Angeline ways. Maybe things will change and she will stay. I do not know, truly."
At her next comment, I frowned slightly. "Yes, Alexei was very unhappy. He and Sabrina had big fight, at our home."
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Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov
Noble (Staff)
Sovereign Duchesse of Eisande, Lady of Marsilikos *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Wife of Fydor Romanov
Posts: 2,623
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Post by Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov on Jun 1, 2009 23:55:40 GMT -5
"That's very unfortunate- but surely people quarrel from time to time," I suggested gently. "Even we have disagreements. And now everything seems to be better between them, even more so than before." Reaching out a hand I lay it softly on his own. "Are you worried that they're going to fight again, that things won't be able to be made better the next time?"
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Fydor Romanov
Royal
His Highness, Prince of Ruskovia, House Romanov *Voted Member of Best Storyline 2010*
Husband to Lessandrie de Mereliot; youngest child of Nikolai and Ivana Romanov
Posts: 1,170
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Post by Fydor Romanov on Jun 2, 2009 1:59:53 GMT -5
“After they fight, Alexei say he goes home. I was afraid, afraid that I go home too, and leave you.” I spoke the confession in a soft voice. My hand turned beneath hers so that I could twine our fingers together. “I want my brother to be happy yes, but I am thinking of me. I do not want to leave.”
“I think after fight, that maybe things are not for definite. I do not like not knowing. Yes, I am afraid that they fight again, and I will not be with you.” It seemed the more we spoke tonight, the longer my speeches became. I just hoped she was able to follow my wording.
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