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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 13, 2011 21:35:33 GMT -5
Early summer, Year One of Queen Coretta's reign
The call to arms had gone out. It was my duty to go - I was fit and able. But I thought long and hard about what it would mean to Mala. In the end, I knew I had to batten down and ask her.
I found her reading on the balcony area we had off our bedroom. "Hello love. Have a moment to talk?"
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2011 18:47:38 GMT -5
“Of course,” I said with a smile, setting my book down and shifting on the bench so that he could sit next to me.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2011 20:51:52 GMT -5
I settled beside her, my arm going across the back of the bench and inviting her closer. "The crown has sent out an update on the preparations for this military action against Skaldia. A call to arms has gone out," I told her.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2011 23:20:21 GMT -5
With pleasure I moved into the circle of his arm. “I figured that would be the next thing we heard,” I said.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 17, 2011 22:42:24 GMT -5
And here came the difficult part. "I wanted to talk to you about that part," I said, choosing my words carefully as my embrace settled around her shoulders, pulling her close. "I won't if you want me to stay... but I would like to volunteer."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Lady of House Shahrizai
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Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 18, 2011 16:37:08 GMT -5
I had just relaxed fully against him when his words hit me and I sat bolt upright, turning to look at him.
“You’re joking, right?” I asked, shocked. “Please tell me you are joking.”
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 19, 2011 16:10:07 GMT -5
I shook my head, her reaction telling me that I was likely going to sit the war out. "No love, I'm serious. But like I said, I won't if you don't want me to. You come first." By my reckoning, keeping her safe meant squishing the bug that was Skaldia, but I knew she might have a different view.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 19, 2011 22:41:03 GMT -5
My eyes searched his face, trying to discern a clue as to what might have urged him to even bring this up.
“Why would you want to go? To war? War Christophe, how could you think I’d want you to go?” I asked, still dumbfounded.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 21, 2011 17:03:41 GMT -5
"Because I want to protect you, my family, my province. Before... before my parents threw me out, I wanted nothing more than to be a soldier, to serve my country." I looked at her after my soft words, hoping she understood, at least a little. "I was too young to serve in Akkad, and still bound to Valerian. But now... I speak Skaldic, I've been taking more arms lessons since I made my marque. Kushiel knows I can follow orders. I could help keep you and everyone I love safe."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 21, 2011 18:22:10 GMT -5
Oh gods…. He was serious…. Dreadfully serious. This wasn’t just a whim had come upon him, he really wanted to do this….
I drew away from him until I was sitting where I had been before. My eyes felt hot and I blinked at the tears that rose. “And now you are putting it on me to tell you whether or not you can do what you’ve wanted your whole life,” I said, my voice trembling. “I’m either to send you off with the distinct possibility that I will never see you again or tell you that you have to stay and be the woman who denied you this.”
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 21, 2011 18:40:12 GMT -5
"Dammit, that's not what I meant to do," I said, running my fingers through my hair. Gods, how was it that I was so very good at upsetting the woman I loved so much. "I just... We're a couple. That means making decisions together. I'm not nine anymore, what I want most in the world is you and Synnove. I'm just... trying to explain why I feel a duty to protect you."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 21, 2011 18:55:39 GMT -5
“You do protect me,” I said, losing the battle as a tear overflowed each eye. “I never felt safe my entire life until I met you.”
I wiped at my eyes, drawing a shuddering breath as I did. The thought of him going to war made it hard for me to breathe, my chest constricting as my heart clenched.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 22, 2011 15:48:17 GMT -5
"Oh, come here love," I murmured, drawing her back into my arms and holding her close. "Now I feel like an ass. I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to upset you. There's just not exactly a way to warm up to the subject."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 23, 2011 11:59:16 GMT -5
Warm up to the subject? Did he think that a different approach would have changed my feelings?
I was in no place to be comforted right now. I pulled out of his embrace and rose, moving to the other side of the balcony.
“If you stay it’s only going to be because I asked you too,” I said, my voice breaking. “You’re still going to feel like you should be there, in the war, and you will resent me for keeping you here.”
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 23, 2011 22:42:14 GMT -5
The hitch in her voice, the hunch in her shoulders, everything screamed at me to go to her and wrap my arms around her thin frame. But she clearly didn't want me to touch her right now, and that hurt. "What do you want me to say Mala? I can't change the fact that I feel a duty to the realm. I couldn't keep that feeling from you even if I tried." I stopped talking before I could say anything stupid. Or perhaps, even more stupid. Instead I buried my face in my hands.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 24, 2011 14:55:30 GMT -5
I loved him so much for his sense of honor and I hated him for it so much that it hurt. I knew there was a time I would have raged, thrown things, gone at him with my fists… but it wasn’t in me now. Not with him.
My eyes pressed shut, though that didn’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks.
“Then you must go,” I managed around the tightness in my throat.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 26, 2011 15:10:40 GMT -5
"Mala..." I started, but my voice dropped away. I hated to see her so miserable. "Would you please let me hold you and tell you it will be alright?"
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 26, 2011 15:59:08 GMT -5
I couldn’t speak, my throat was too full of the sobs I was trying to hold back, but I nodded. I needed it now, the feel of him holding me, the words he would whisper to reassure me even though I knew there was no truth in any promise he might make. There was no way to know for certain he would return to me.
The sobs broke free and I began to sink to the stones of the balcony.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 27, 2011 17:15:27 GMT -5
I caught her before she was on the floor, her weight light as always. I scooped her up in my arms and carried her inside. We ended up curled up in bed, my hands smoothing over her back. "I'll come back, I promise love. Those Skaldics are so unorganized, we'll send them packing in no time. Then when it's safe again, we can go and visit Camlach. Maybe my old man will hang in there long enough for you to meet him." I continued talking, reassuring. I wanted so badly for her not to cry.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 27, 2011 21:50:19 GMT -5
I huddled against him, my face pressed to his chest as my tears soaked his shirt. I wished I could believe him, but how could such an unorganized country have killed the Queen and drawn us into war?
After a time I stopped crying, but I still clung tohim, unwilling to let go of him until I had to.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 28, 2011 21:33:32 GMT -5
Eventually she stopped crying, and my murmured words turned into comforting nothings. I kissed the top of her head gently after a time of silence between us. "Just remember love," I whispered. "Everything we've been through, and nothing has managed to keep us apart. This won't either, I promise."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 28, 2011 22:09:33 GMT -5
“Don’t,” I whispered, shaking my head slightly. “Please don’t promise that, you can’t know for certain and it tempts fate.”
I knew that if he didn’t come back, that would be the end of me; he was all that I lived for, without him there was no purpose to my life.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 30, 2011 22:41:59 GMT -5
I searched her face, trying to see if I was making the right decision. She said I should go, but now there was something almost... broken about her voice. "I love you, and I'm going to do everything I can to return. That I can promise. Alright love?"
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Malabelle Shahrizai
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Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jul 1, 2011 15:21:25 GMT -5
Nodding, I rested my head against his chest again, closing my eyes trying desperately to stop thinking at all. I’d no tears left or I would have been crying again.
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