Sergei Romanov
Royal
His Royal Highness, Prince of House Romanov
Posts: 366
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Post by Sergei Romanov on Jun 6, 2011 17:10:37 GMT -5
Truly, I shouldn't have come. I should have penned a note and sent it, or not said anything at all, but there was too much that had passed between us, too much there, too much said and left unsaid for my honor to allow me anything but a personal visit. I'd not drug my feet once deciding, and I stood now before the doorstep of the home Mercedes was staying at, dressed crisply and smartly. My face was like a stone, which truth be told was a step up from the black ice it'd been before, and the best I could give her. I rapped thrice upon the door and stood back to wait, my hands tucked behind my back, for entrance.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Jun 6, 2011 17:29:16 GMT -5
I was at least up and about now, slowly recovering from the depression that had threatened me since I had last seen Sergei. Landis had helped a great deal by getting me out of the house, and helping me to fall asleep whenever I needed it. I had even started falling asleep in my own bed, which was a blessing. I knew that my nighttime visits to Landis' house were innocent, but truth never stood up to a good rumour. But because I was up and about, I was working on a piece of embroidery in the front room when there was a knock on the door. Being the closest to the entrance hall I got up and answered it myself. But it was like seeing a ghost.
My eyes went wide as first surprise and then the fear of more pain flashed through me before I could gather my composure. "Sergei, this is a surprise. Please, come in," I said, stepping aside from the door to allow him in. Why is he here? Did he find out that I spoke to Coretta for his release? But why is he physically here? Shouldn't a letter have said anything needed? Too many questions, all I knew was that we didn't want to have a conversation on Leyna's front stoop.
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Sergei Romanov
Royal
His Royal Highness, Prince of House Romanov
Posts: 366
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Post by Sergei Romanov on Jun 7, 2011 9:04:58 GMT -5
I hadn't expected Mercedes herself to answer the door, her eyes flying wide at seeing me. I half thought she was going to shut the door in my face, but instead she invited me in.
Guilt washed through me, seeing her so. She'd hurt me, I'd hurt her, and we'd ended up an an impasse that sliced through the core of our relationship. It didn't change the fact that I still harbored feelings for her, feelings I thought I'd buried, but they came back with standing before her again. I lingered on the step for an awkward moment before making my way in, tucking my hands behind me and not doffing my coat. I wasn't a comfortable guest here.. I was the bearer of news, and I wasn't sure how she was going to take it. Images of her crying and begging me not to leave flashed through my mind, and I had to shove them away before I could speak.
"Hello Princesa," I said quietly. I hesitated, wishing I had a hat to take off and hold, anything to give my hands something to do. "How have you been?"
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Jun 8, 2011 18:47:09 GMT -5
He fairly screamed his level of discomfort, the way he hunched a little in on himself, the uncertainty in his voice, the use of my title. I hated it, and hated that I felt the same. I loved him and he loved me, things weren't supposed to be like this.
"I've been better," I answered, my eyes trained on the floor but brave enough to tell the truth. "And you?" Mother, why was I even asking? This was what our relationship had come to, trading inane conversation and feeling horribly uncomfortable.
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Sergei Romanov
Royal
His Royal Highness, Prince of House Romanov
Posts: 366
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Post by Sergei Romanov on Jun 11, 2011 13:08:24 GMT -5
Well, at least she was honest, and I supposed I should be glad she wasn't slapping me and punching my chest. Women seemed to like doing that here, when things didn't go their way. Back in Ruskovia, no woman would dare think that, at least no women of proper breeding. But.. she wasn't Ruskovian, and that had been a part of what had attracted me to her in the first place. If I could choose my wife, I would pick her to be independent and dependent both, a balance of the two that allowed us freedom and love.
But I couldn't pick my wife now, could I? I was frowning beforeI realized it, and I brought a hand up, raking through my hair, and ignored her question. It was probably for the best.
"My brother has shown up unannounced," I said, my voice tighter than usual, and no hint of a smile lay anywhere close to my face. "Vladimir; he is seeking restitution for my treatment. I don't suppose you've managed to not hear of that," I added, my eyes turning a little hopeful and resigned both.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Jun 13, 2011 18:33:30 GMT -5
I glanced up when he pushed his fingers through his hair. He only ever did it like that when he was upset. The movement was far smoother when he did it to preen. But my eyes fell away again when I caught myself looking, knowing that he would never be mine. "I more than heard of it. After arresting you, that joke of a Lord General paid a visit here," I said, my voice tight with the anger Jaime had aroused in me that day. "I'm glad your family is here to support you, though I know you don't care for Vladimir. I did what I could, but I don't have much political strength."
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Sergei Romanov
Royal
His Royal Highness, Prince of House Romanov
Posts: 366
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Post by Sergei Romanov on Jun 15, 2011 10:35:14 GMT -5
My anger was sparked twice over, that the bastard General had arrived at her doorstep, and that my family could ever be considered supportive. In the end, we all bent to the will of Father, and when he was gone, it would be Vladimir. I hated it, hated it with everything in me, but I knew my duty and I would live my life out under his rule.
"He came here?" I asked through gritted teeth. My anger came so very easily to me these days, enough that I wasn't sure if I'd ever be the same man I was. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Jun 17, 2011 21:39:00 GMT -5
His anger didn't surprise me - I knew only too well how strong his pride was. It was one of the things I loved about him, and one of the things that had driven a wedge between us. "No, only threatened. He was so kind as to advise me to distance myself from you, so that I didn't come under further suspicion," I said, my words tapering out into whispers as the fear from that day overrode the anger. My hands twisted around one another with my worry. "The worst part was that Queen Coretta knew nothing of his accusations until I went to her."
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Sergei Romanov
Royal
His Royal Highness, Prince of House Romanov
Posts: 366
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Post by Sergei Romanov on Jun 18, 2011 13:50:18 GMT -5
I listened to her, anger driving the air in and out of my lungs, but when she mentioned that the General had advised her to steer clear of me, it pained me to admit it, but he was right to do so.
"I..."
My brows furrowed. "You went to Queen Coretta?"
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Jun 18, 2011 15:03:53 GMT -5
"Of course I did," I replied, and stopped myself from saying more. Needing a moment to compose myself, I led him into the front room where my embroidery lay forgotten, and poured a finger of brandy into each of two glasses. I offered him one wordlessly. "I could not in good conscience let an innocent man continue to be imprisoned."
It was far less than I had originally meant to say. But he had made it clear that it was over between us, and I had begged too much already. Somewhere inside me I had my pride, though I was always so close to loosing it with him. I would not tell him that I had been scared for him, that I had fought for him because I still loved him so. No, those words needed to be left unspoken.
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Sergei Romanov
Royal
His Royal Highness, Prince of House Romanov
Posts: 366
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Post by Sergei Romanov on Jun 23, 2011 9:56:50 GMT -5
My features drew down into a soft frown as I listened to her, but as she explained her motives, well, I understood then. She was too good-hearted to allow bad things to happen to innocent people, whether she liked them or no.
"I see," I said, giving a short sigh as I scrubbed my hand through my hair again. "Well, she came to me and apologized personally, let me out of the dungeons and allowed me to leave the Palace to my own townhome. I almost left the City in entirety, but I couldn't bring myself to do that completely, I wouldn't let him run me out like that." I seethed, and as much contempt as I could poured into that one word as I spoke it. I was back to speaking through my teeth, and I took another breath, trying to steady myself. "Vladimir came a few days ago."
I eyed her, making myself watch her as I spoke the rest, unwilling to shirk my duty, even if I didn't have a specific obligation to her anymore, I still felt she deserved to find out through me and not through the grapevine. "He informed me upon arrival that in retribution for my mistreatment, I am to be wed. Some d'Angeline princess; he's already spoken to the Queen and she told him she would gather a list and speak to families."
If there was contempt before, there was pure frustration and anger now, tightly bottled, tightly controlled. I couldn't keep it away completely, but I would not let it master me. I would decide how I acted and reacted, even if I did not have a voice in my own fate.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Jun 23, 2011 22:24:28 GMT -5
I am to be wed...
Such small words, the sentence rather innocuous really. He spoke them as if he would have simply tossed them off if his anger had let him. But they were anything but inconsequential to me. It felt like the ground had opened up beneath my feet and I was falling, careening for destruction. Did I know my heart could break twice? A detached voice wondered in the back of my mind, the same one that noted my glass had fallen with a weighty thunk against the carpet, slipping from my numb fingers to spill brandy at my feet. My entire body felt as numb as my fingers, except the hole that was filling with white-hot despair in the middle of my chest.
As I stood there, paralyzed with his news, something inside me snapped. "Why?" My voice came out as a croak, but soon I was yelling at him. "Why are you here? Why the hell are you telling me this? Do you want me to congratulate you? Pretend to be happy that you're getting married to someone that isn't me? Did you want to make me jealous? Well I can congratulate you on that. Fantastic job." My voice dripped my sarcasm, my anger causing me to not see sense, not care if I was hurting him or if my words were fair. "Maybe if I had waited a day or two to tell her, Coretta would have had to wed you herself. So sorry to ruin Vladimir's plans. At least you'll have a beautiful woman on your arm. Oh, and pretty children." The thought of him marrying another woman was bad enough, but the horror of him having children with her... Something else inside me snapped, a strength I hadn't even known existed gone, and the tears started.
Blindly I turned away, my shoulder shaking with the sobs I tried to contain. "I can't handle this," I whispered hoarsely. "Just... just go."
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Sergei Romanov
Royal
His Royal Highness, Prince of House Romanov
Posts: 366
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Post by Sergei Romanov on Jun 28, 2011 18:58:38 GMT -5
I watched, shocked, as she broke down in front of me, having gone from polite smiles to wracking sobs inside mere seconds, and started yelling at me toboot. Her words, her accusations, cut through me, bleeding out the anger I'd sought to contain, filling me with rage and resentment.
"When have I EVER wanted that, Mercy? Balls woman, when have I ever wanted you to suffer, or to cry, or to be angry with me? I've done all I can to prove to you that you don't need to section yourself off from me, that you can trust me, and you never once gave me that trust!" My knuckles were white, clenched into fists, and I glared as my rage at everything sped through me. "I came here to tell you personally, so you didn't have to hear it through the blasted gossip mongers, so you weren't taken by surprise. I came here to do the right thing, knowing that it'd hurt you, but because you needed to know. Do you honestly think I want to marry one of these d'Angeline hussies? To have my life signed away all because some bastard with a vial of poison decided to kill the Queen, and then I was wrongly accused and thrown into the dungeons for it?"
I scowled, and turned, stalking to the door, but before I opened it I paused and turned to her. "Not everything is about you Mercedes, and until you learn that, you'll never be happy."
Not waiting for her response, I left, pulling the door shut behind me with a sharp crack, and strode to gather my gelding, being held waiting for me.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Jun 29, 2011 12:38:03 GMT -5
It was all I could managed to stand there, to keep my feet as his blistering retort cut through me like a hundred knives. The pain served to fan my anger higher, until I wasn't sure if I couldn't see because of the tears or because of my outrage. What did trust have anything to do with the situation we now found ourselves in? It was over between us, he had made that abundantly clear, but did he really think that it wouldn't hurt terribly for me to hear that he was so quickly marrying another woman? Damn him, and damn his brother. "You think you're so much better, you bastard?" I whispered as I heard his horse gallop away, my body still trembling from him slamming the door shut behind him. Somehow I managed to curl up on the couch before the sobs overtook me, and I cried out my hurt and anger until I was left horribly, terribly empty.
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