A Perilous Journey - Back at Sea

[Sophine Shahrizai de Amodour]

We stayed in Tiberium for only a couple of days before embarking on another sea voyage. After poring over maps, I had wanted to sail around Kriti and straight to Menekhet, but Tal, who was more traveled than I, said that it would be very difficult not to be noticed by Menekhet authorities if we entered the country by sea. Instead he proposed that we land at Carthage and head into Menekhet over land. It would take a bit longer, but it was the safer route.

I had been inclined to argue, but the deck was stacked against me: Erie and Eros were also predictably for going the safer way. Erie was against this journey in the first place, and I did not wish to antagonize him further by ignoring his opinion, so I gave in and our plans were set.

The ship we were taking this time was similar to the last one, only this captain was much more superstitious. He kept muttering about how having women aboard was bad luck, and he insisted that Sirena, Eros, and I remain belowdecks as much as possible. I hated it, but at this point all I wanted was to get to Menekhet and find Marc and Henri, no matter what I had to endure to get there.

[Sirena Shahrizai]

There was so much noise here, so many sounds that were discordant and musical all at once, and this left me to humming and working on my puzzles in my spare time. Sirena, my name- but it was something else, something that reminded me of those dreams with the sand and blood. Tal, help me. No, he can't hear it. I wished he could though, because it hurt my mind and I wanted to cry for no reason. Silly things, silly things. Songs, songs, no more. Seagulls didn't fly over sand, lorelei didn't belong there either, but they would make me go. I had to go, and I had to make them think I wanted to go.

I'd taken a sheet of reed paper and written letters upon it, then crooned to myself as I shuffled them around, trying to remember what I'd been told. A nursery rhyme, what difference did that make? Kushiel, let me sleep so I can ask again, I promise I'll remember, I'm sorry I forgot. Nirsea? No. Easrin? What's the answer?! I wanted to shout and throw a tantrum but that would be so rude to the people who didn't understand what would happen. I didn't want to be the bearer of bad omens, but at the same time I could hear it calling. There was sloppy work nearby, so sloppy. The man who had no skill and only greed and hunger.

Brushing more hair away from my eyes I continued to scoot the paper scraps around the table, trying to make the magic word. What's the answer? If I knew, I could finish this puzzle. Looking around for Tal I saw him come down some steps and walked toward him, smiling brightly and taking his arm. "What's the answer, Talenon? It's a riddle, but I don't know the question yet, so what's the answer? Do you know?"

[Talenon Shahrizai]

"I don't think I ever know the answer to anything until you tell me," I chuckled, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "How are you enjoying the trip?" The sea was rougher on the way to Carthage, but I'd agreed with Sophine that this was better than traveling overland. The world seemed to be in a state of tension, like it was holding its breath, and I didn't want to invite trouble. At sea there was more ... privacy, if you will.

"If you figure out the question, perhaps I can help," I added, though I doubted it. I was not the brains between the two of us, though I was content to leave that to Sirena and her voices. It was her voice only that I heard, the only one I wanted to hear, the siren song that had called me home.

[Sirena Shahrizai]

Everyone was so busy with how we were moving here and there and they never really wondered where we were really going. Oh, they knew where they wanted to go, but not where we were going. Hot gold, gritty and rough, like shards of glass ground into flour, the golden strings brittle, the golden sun angry and sullen. Kushiel, where's the black, the red, even the blue? Please take away the gold. There was some quieting in my mind, but I wanted the sound back instead of the pictures, the dreams. I loved them the same as I loved myself, but I felt as though I was on the edge of that frightening moment where I saw everything around me the same broken way everyone else did.

Frowning slightly I swallowed and clung to Tal's arm more firmly for a moment. "I don't know how I'm enjoying it," I answered after a moment, cocking my head sideways and looking along planking for the gaps. "What is that song, the one about the weather? It's a humming tune, and short, and it means something. I don't remember, the entire dream was upside down and the wheat ate us instead of us eating it."

Something more immediate came to mind and I could feel the heavier press of something in the back of my mind, drawing me inward and, unbidden, my hand went to the small flechette that hung around my neck on a chain. "Oh Tal, will you make me a promise? If anything happens I need you to stay still. Please promise. I'll bring you with me, but you can't be scared or angry. Please? Please will you?" All I could do was look up into his eyes, my lower lip quivering slightly as the masked face looked more intently at me, pointing at the awful gold. The songs all grew sharper, and I could taste the rot of it all.

[Talenon Shahrizai]

"I don't remember it either," I said apologetically, though I didn't know if I'd ever known it. Sirena was the siren, I was more like the rocks the sailor's ships would be dashed against. I pulled her in a little closer, though, because I could feel her nervousness.

"I can't promise not to feel scared or angry," I said, after thinking for a time about her words. There was something disquieting about this entire trip and I had half a mind to part ways from these kin of ours and take Sirena somewhere else. Menekhet was a world away from Terre d'Ange and maybe too far for my sweet siren. "But I promise I will follow your lead, I won't let my fears or my temper guide my actions. Will that suffice?"

I might have said more, but there was a cry of 'Land' from the crow's nest, and I realized that we must have made it to Carthage at last. I saw Sophine appear at the cry, and I could tell she was pleased to be making land at last. Perhaps it was the Shahrizai in me or perhaps she was just that transparent, but it was easy to see her weakness scrawled across her face: she hoped for too much. She needed this and if it all fell out wrong, as I suspected it must, she would be broken. Perhaps not beyond repair, but I did not envy her husband the chore of putting her back together again.

[Sophine Shahrizai de Amodour]

Carthage. We were arriving shortly and I could barely contain my pleasure at it. Not that I hated sea voyages, but they did get rather monotonous after awhile and I wanted to feel the still earth beneath my feet.

While I waited for us to make port, I packed up my things and changed back into the more comfortable pants and tunics I'd brought for riding. We could rest a day in Carthage, hire horses and a guide, buy supplies, and then be on our way to Menekhet, to Marc and Henri. The closer we got, the harder it was for me to wait, because I kept feeling that if I weren't traveling every moment I was going to be too late.

[Sirena Shahrizai]

Tal always wanted to do what was best for me, I knew that; that's why he'd come to me when we were children, to be my companion, to look after me when the world got too loud or our cousins said the wrong things. I may have been a Shahrizai and seen sweetness in the most bitter, painful things, but my love for him had started in songs and flowers as much as blood and blades. If it came to giving something up I would rather lose my mind and my blood than him, my Tal. Doesn't he get a choice? You say the funniest things. He came back, even if it was quieter for him when he was away.

"I believe your promises," I told him with a faint smile as I rested my head on his shoulder, then looked up at the call of land and another shudder moved through me, bringing tears to my eyes and laughter to my throat. Lovely fear, terrifying beauty, duty tainted by pain, kinship broken by deceit, stop, stop. This story is too much like what I've heard and seen before. There will be a rose wilting in this heat, unhappy and raging where she grows. Don't be scared. I am never scared, Kushiel is with me, I am Shahrizai and I don't like sloppy work!

When Sophine came out I gave her another glance, my smile widening slightly. "Greetings Cousin, it's time to find unexpected things," I said in a tone of mirth, a veil of cold gaity coming over me, falling like... "I remember the song! I know the answer, but the question is still gone. But I'll find it soon. The men will bring it, with other things. The messy, messy things. But I hope there's a bath after all of the sand. My skin itches fit to be flayed off." Humming the childhood song I patted Tal's cheek and swayed slightly I then sang in a childlike tone, "Rain, rain, go away. I should have known I couldn't stay. No more charming, no more play. Rain, Raen come again."