Leaving at Last

[Sophine Shahrizai de Amodour]

At last, we were going. We'd been up since dawn, packing and repacking, as we were only taking horses, not carriages. I was wearing leggings and a tunic rather than a dress, a getup I had shopped for with Sandrine. A couple more of each were in my pack and one nice dress in case it was necessary. That had been Sirena's suggestion, and a good one at that.

We met up with Sirena and Talenon at length, and rode out of the City gates before the sun had fully risen in the sky. I looked back, once, reflecting on how the City had become my home since I left Kusheth, and that I was actually going to miss it. But I would be back, with Marc and Henri, and my family would be together again. Then I could concentrate on mending the rift between Jacques and Marcel, and maybe there was a way in there somewhere to make Guy happy, even if he could never be with Sandrine.

Guy. I had lied to him in one breath and saddled him with Denyse in the next. Denis had been my accomplice in that, and I wondered what it said about me that I was willing to conspire with a man that I loathed. I liked to think that it was a reflection of my love for my brothers, not a streak of coldness when it came to getting things done. It didn't matter, though, what was done was done, it was a new day, and finally I was doing something concrete.

After poring over a map, it seemed the best way to Tiberium was through Eisande, though I had decided not to stop by my family's home on the way, it would only delay us and it had not been long since I'd been here, at any rate.

And so we were off at last, riding through L'Agnace in high spirits, though there were secrets and distance between Erie and I that I wasn't sure could be fixed. Now wasn't the time, though, now was the time to savor our adventures.

[Sirena Shahrizai]

There was little light in the sky as we left the City, this party of people who had their own thoughts and dreams, small and quiet in the darkness with none of the other voices that kept me company. I'd prepared for this journey easily enough, packing a few things and convincing my Tal to keep his promise to never leave my sight, and in some part, deep down in his beastly, beautiful, beloved heart I think he was glad of it. My other cousins had never understood him as I did, had given him only the cruelty of their blood for his heritage and increasing his horrible rage. This promised no more of the same, at least so far. I could say nothing for the Shahrizai siblings with their own dark secrets but they seemed more concerned with their own small circle and I was willing to let them swirl about themselves. It gave me time to listen more clearly to the songs.

On my estate we had horses, not the most lovely but strong and fast, true beasts of their noble race, like the cliffs themselves for their strength and sheer determination. Both Tal and I were on our favorites and the ride was easy enough so far, though the tug on my mind kept pulling me to and fro. Here. No, here. Why are you going there? I don't know, you said to go, to see what could be seen. Why are you doing this? Hush, hush, there, there. I can only listen so long and the taste of sand is heavy and makes my stomach ache and my eyes tear up. Brothers and sisters and blood, you are a hard mastery to make out. Patience with me, forgive me for not hearing everything at once.

As we rode I stayed near to Tal, feeling comforted by his presence even as it set a new set of voices to laughing with glee and clapping their hands. What a merry dance this was! Humming low under my breath I took refuge in the things I did know. My Tal was here, and that was good, because I would have had to come along with Sophine even if he hadn't come back to life for me. Now when my flesh was rebellious and my mind was loud he could help me and I could sing my songs when I needed to. The others were no threat to me though they may not have liked me. We would find more help here and there, everywhere. The most loved voice was still there. All of these were good signs. Journey on, save the pale one with the dark heart. It would be so much simpler if you just said what you mean, dear voice.

Glancing at Tal I gave him a vague smile and brushed my fingers through my hair, almost lying sideways against my horse's neck as I let him match pace with the others. We're on our way, let me rest a little. My body was a good deal more sturdy now, a lot of my wounds healed and better fed from Tal's attention, but it would still be my will that carried me through some portions of things and it needed to rest as well. "Your call is coming, I'm dreaming away for what lies hidden. It needs to be found. Voices forgotten- I hear them close by. Ghosts from the past, I can see through their eyes. Are these the ancestors leaving me signs?" The song started in a whisper but eventually my voice rose slightly, the cadence melding with the sound of hooves as I listened to myself. I hadn't sung this song in some time. Pretty.

[Talenon Shahrizai]

I could never deny Rena anything, and in truth I had no wish to in this instance. Though I had only just returned to Terre d'Ange, I was not so attached to the land of my birth that I wished to stay. Especially in the City, where Rena was as always adored and I was as always shunned. I was not pleased that we would travel with other Shahrizai, but this Erie and Eros and Sophine were not known to me and they did not slight me ... well, not yet.

Erie was cold and I saw that he did not hold any of the rest of us in much esteem, except for perhaps his sister, and sometimes his wife. The wife was something I had seen before too, a wisp of a girl with a taste for the lash, she trembled to be in such company as four Shahrizai and I could read her desires as if they were writ across the night sky. Perhaps that was the reason for her husband's aloofness; he must know that she was as fickle as the wind. It was no concern of mine, however, and our traveling companions interested me less than my Rena, as always.

We rode out under a gray sky, and it felt so good to be in the saddle again, riding free, as if nothing could weigh me down or any cares fall upon my shoulders. I knew it was a false feeling, cares and troubles were life and I knew they would come upon us eventually, but at least now I could pretend otherwise.

I smiled when she sang, moving close to her so that I could hear it, leaving the other three behind us for a time.

[Sirena Shahrizai]

There was a sense of the world being too large and too small all at once as I balanced in my saddle, the music wiping away a good deal of everything else that could have come to my senses. I knew the sway of the horse and the scent of the rain on the air, even the thump of the horses hooves on the ground, but the music was winding around and inside all of it. Even around Tal, with his soul that seemed so much lighter for being out here in the open air on his horse. At home I'd watch him ride along the shore, sitting on my balcony and letting the salt air sink into me like a memory of sweat and blood. Now I was here with him and that was better, even with the song.

My eyes were vacant as I let the words continue flowing from me, my voice no louder than it had been though I looked at Tal, meeting his eyes. Questions in this song, questions and visions and confusion and only Tal's eyes were quiet and steady amid all of the other sounds from the cousins ahead of us. He could help me, couldn't he? "The sounds, they are all around. Forces start moving out, taking sides, though there's so much that I need to know- and soon it will be shown. If we could restart how it was before tomorrow when the ghosts are found, they will lead us to tomorrow. The sounds of freedom make me want to try," I sang, then hummed along for a moment before I let go of the reins with one hand and reached over to brush Tal's leg with my fingertips, smiling. "Isn't it a pretty song, my love? Pretty and sad."

[Sophine Shahrizai de Amodour]

Rena and Tal rode ahead, identical blue-black locks shimmering in the rising sunlight. In fact, out of our party of five, only I looked at all different from the rest with my dark chestnut curls and dark brown eyes. It was a little bit odd, to travel with this veritable band of Shahrizai, but enlightening at the same time. It seemed that Erie was not the only reticent male in the group and it gave me a little hope that perhaps the problem wasn't just what lay between us. Then again, what lay between us was problem enough, though only I knew about it.

As the sun continued to rise ever higher across the morning sky, it warmed up enough that I could shed my cloak and enjoy the fresh air. L'Agnace was a beautiful province, especially in the spring, with the birds singing and not a cloud in the sky. I felt hopeful, finally, that things were going to happen, good things, and that I was going to find Marc and Henri and bring them home.

I found that I was humming as we rode, a happy little tune that had no meaning, though I stopped when Erie cast me an irritable glance. With an inward sigh, I quieted, determined not to let him ruin my mood.