Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Mar 19, 2011 23:06:32 GMT -5
He was being so kind. Kind and calm and decent. Tears began to trickle from my eyes again as I kept my ear against his heart. There, in the steady rhythm, was the knowledge that life went on. Maybe I didn't want to think about it, about life without Sergei. But it was still there, beating strongly, soothingly, for when I was ready to listen. "Thank you Landis," I repeated, whispering.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Mar 22, 2011 20:19:32 GMT -5
"You don't have to thank me, Mercy," I told her quietly as I felt her tears begin to soak through the fabric of my shirt, a hand stroking her back comfortingly and the other lightly brushing over her hair. "But if you really want to then I'd really like it if you look after yourself. I know you're sad, and a small part of you may want to die right now, but you have other people who need you to stay alive. Your family would be devastated if something happened to you, and I know that I'd be upset. You need to sleep, and eat, and keep going. Please Mercy."
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Mar 22, 2011 23:26:49 GMT -5
His words were too close to Sergei's, and my body began to shake with sobs once more. Every time I thought would be the end to the tears, and every time I was wrong. "He told me to be strong. But I don't know how," I cried against his chest. "I don't know how Landis. I'm... I'm broken." I must be, I must be broken. Otherwise I wouldn't have driven Sergei away. Otherwise I wouldn't feel like my chest was about to cave in around my shattered heart.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Mar 26, 2011 15:16:26 GMT -5
Obviously something I said had struck her deeply and I could only continue what I'd been doing as she sobbed, listening to what she said and trying to glean some sense of understanding from it. All I learned though was that her love had cared enough to try and convince her to move on rather than giving in to despair, and that she blamed herself for the way things had happened. "I don't think you can be broken," I said with a sense of surety. "But I know it's possible to feel that way, and I can only promise that it will fade with time. It will get better."
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Mar 27, 2011 0:10:04 GMT -5
His support never flagged, and for that I was grateful. I don't think I could have stood it if he suddenly crumbled under my sobs now. "I hope so," I whispered, my eyes clenched shut. "I don't know if I can stand to feel like this forever."
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 4, 2011 11:15:28 GMT -5
"Luckily it doesn't last forever," I assured her with a slight smile, my tone still tending toward reassuring but with just a bit of warmth to it. "And if there's anything I can do to help you get past this I'm always here for you, but if you'll take the suggestion I think you should really get some sleep. After some rest it will all be more clear and I think you'll feel better in general." She may not have agreed or wanted to hear it but from personal experience I knew this to be true and I hoped she could listen to reason. If she kept up at this pace she could very well make herself ill or even convince herself into doing something she regretted.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 7, 2011 22:57:51 GMT -5
"I've tried," I said, but it was a lie. I hadn't truly tried because I didn't want to dream. My hands curled in Landis's shirt, to give me the strength to confess. "I'm scared. It's so... so out of control. I'm so out of control. What if... I close my eyes and..." I couldn't finish the thought, my throat closing with panic. I tried to breath normally, but only had marginal success, and only because Landis was there holding me.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 16, 2011 12:18:41 GMT -5
It actually made sense that with her so depressed and distraught that she might be afraid to sleep. Restful slumber tended to abandon you on the battlefield as well, though for different reasons. "But I know that you know you need to sleep, and after some rest it will all make much more sense and there will be less to be afraid of," I told her in a comforting whisper against her ear, my hand moving lightly over her hair while the other arm rested over her shoulders. "Would it help if you had someone watching over you? If you wanted you could even sleep here, I have a spare room and being away from the place where your heart got broken might help."
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 18, 2011 22:03:55 GMT -5
The thought of him watching over me, guarding me against the bad dreams... Mother it was so tempting. But what would people say? There were already rumours about Sergei and I, could I handle those same rumours about Landis? The thought stopped me. Wasn't worrying about the rumours what caused this all in the first place?
And so I nodded against his chest, for the first time choosing what I wanted, rather than what I thought would be best for my reputation. "Yes please," I whispered raggedly.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 18, 2011 22:22:16 GMT -5
I'd been hoping she'd accept for the sake of her health and sanity but I knew Mercy better than to count on it. She cared a good deal about propriety, boundaries and her reputation, though once she'd been quicker to relax about them- but that had been a long time ago when we wer both a little bit different people. When she did agree though and clung to me I knew how much she had to be hurting to do so and that was a sad thing that sent a slight sting through me. I wouldn't let her know that though, she had enough on her mind. "Come on, let's go ahead and get you settled then," I said in a quiet tone with a sympathetic smile as I lightly kissed the top of her head before standing and bringing her with me. The tea could wait until later and she needed the sleep far more than more of a drink that would keep her awake. "Ready?"
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 22, 2011 14:32:48 GMT -5
He helped draw me up until I was on my feet and I had to let go of him without feeling any weaker than I already did. I had already been clinging to him too much today. "Yes," I whispered, knowing he was giving me another opportunity to back out of my decision, and not taking it. I needed him right now, needed to feel safe. If my reputation suffered, so be it. I couldn't care about that right now.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 22, 2011 15:56:36 GMT -5
There was almost a sense of regret when she stopped clinging to me but I pushed that aside- after all, that was likely the last thing she needed at this point and I wasn't going to push my nostalgia and affection onto her, especially now. That didn't mean that I was going to push her away either but I did want to try and respect her boundaries for the moment, and when she steadied herself I gave her a warm smile.
At her agreement I nodded and took her hand gently, then started toward the door of the sitting room at a steady pace. The house wasn't a large one but it was comfortable and I made sure it was as well-maintained as any of the West Borough houses even if it lacked that sort of opulence. "It's this way," I told her quietly as we started down the hall and toward the stairs, since all of the bedrooms were on the second floor, my pace slow and comfortable so as not to rush her. "I'd offer you a tour but I think it should at least wait until you're awake enough to remember it." At that I glanced sideways and gave her a more cheerful smile. Hopefully some small bit of humor would make her more comfortable and show her how glad I was that she'd agreed to stay.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 23, 2011 0:44:06 GMT -5
The decision made, I could have fretted over it terribly. But I shoved it aside. It was easier in my current state, for the sleeplessness made everything a little strange. "Are you teasing me, Landis de Verreuil?" I asked in reply. It was a tone I hadn't taken with anyone in a long time. Not since I had been at home, with my family. Landis was family too, my family here in the City of Elua.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 23, 2011 15:48:23 GMT -5
There was the distinct sense that she was joking back and the notes of humor in her voice were familiar and wonderful. How many times had we joked together before and I'd heard that same tone and her laughter? I hadn't realized how poignant it would be to hear it again, even in this sort of situation. "I wanted to see if I could get you to smile a little," I told her in a quiet, affectionate tone, giving her another glance and taking her in.
Once we'd gone up the stairs and passed the various portraits of my family members we came to wooden door that swung open on quiet hinges. Inside the room was done in soft, warm colors; I'd chosen it because it was the most comforting room I could think of, as well as being one that would suit her. "What do you think? There's some other rooms if you'd rather have one of those but I thought of this one first." With a almost rakish grin I gave her a bow. "So would the Princesa like to look over her quarters?"
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 23, 2011 15:55:17 GMT -5
He replied back just as easily, and it was a balm to my broken heart. Mother but I had missed anyone speaking to me with affection, it had been too long since Sergei had. Maybe that was part of the reason... No, I couldn't think about that right now. Instead I looked around the room, taking in the warm colours and immediately feeling more at ease. "I'm just Mercy tonight. And it looks perfect Landis," I told him with a soft smile.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 23, 2011 16:08:20 GMT -5
It was wonderful to see how she relaxed on looking at the room and I felt a sense of pride in choosing correctly. There was so much that she needed to recover from but I'd do whatever I could to make that happen because I simply couldn't stand to see her unhappy. I'd never been able to in all honesty. "I'm glad you like it," I told her in complete sincerity, stepping in after her and squeezing her hand gently and gesturing toward the bed as I gave her another smile. "Want me to tuck you in?"
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 23, 2011 16:25:25 GMT -5
I nodded silently, my voice caught in my throat. I had to fight back the tears as I climed into the bed, pulling the covers around me. No one had tucked me in since I had left Aragonia, and my family.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 23, 2011 16:36:59 GMT -5
The stiffness in her posture and the slight gleam to her eyes told me of some more sorrow and I gave her a sympathetic smile as I waited for her to lie down, then sat on the edge of the bed and began to gently tuck the covers more securely around her body. Even with the gown it was possible to feel some of her curves and very hard to ignore them, but I think I managed moderately well, all things considered. Taking a moment to clear my own throat I brought a hand up to brush across her brow lightly, pushing her hair back away from her face. "There, all snug now?" I asked in a low tone, my hand tingling slightly from the contact.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 23, 2011 16:46:06 GMT -5
He made sure that I was as comfortable as I could be, and I smiled up at him. "Yes thank you," I murmured. "Thank you for this Landis. It means a lot to me." As I said it, I tried not to notice how close his face was to mine. I had always noticed that about him.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 23, 2011 17:04:27 GMT -5
"You're very welcome, Mercy," I told her, noticing how lovely she was even with the dark rings of exhaustion under her eyes. I'd said earlier that she was as beautiful as ever but it still surprised me how completely true that was. "If there's anything else you need I'll be here to get it for you but for now you should probably get some sleep." After a moment of consideration I gave in and kissed her cheek, then smoothed back her hair one more time. "Do you want me to stay here with you?"
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 24, 2011 16:32:30 GMT -5
He touched me so tenderly, I hadn't even realized that it was exactly what I needed until that moment. "Please, could you? At least until I fall asleep?" I hated to hear the desperation in my voice.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 24, 2011 16:56:27 GMT -5
There was almost something younger about her now, in her time of sorrow, but wasn't that true of almost everyone? She deserved every bit of softness I was giving her right now, especially if it would help her to rest and heal and be the beautiful, strong lady I knew she was. "I'll stay as long as you want," I assured her with a smile as I shifted to lean slightly sideways on the bed, my free hand resting lightly on hers and the other continuing to stroke her hair. "So long as you try your best to sleep deeply and well, and wake up with some hope in your eyes."
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on Apr 24, 2011 17:42:33 GMT -5
"I will, I'll try," I promised at a whisper. Slowly I let my eyes closed, his touches calming me. I couldn't think on them too hard though, I almost had to pretend that it was my mother soothing me to sleep. But ever so slowly I relaxed, and my breathing evened out, and eventually I slipped into sleep.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Apr 24, 2011 19:43:23 GMT -5
I couldn't do anything but believe her and when her eyes closed and her body relaxed I smiled softly and simply continued with what I was doing. This would probably have seemed odd in the wrong light but I was never overly concerned with how things may have looked. Both Mercy and I were good people and this was an innocent moment for all of the intimacy it might have suggested. If she'd stayed in Siovale longer would this have happened, or something like it? No matter. There was now, and that was sweet enough.
When her breathing finally told me she'd slipped asleep I started to shift slowly, almost afraid of waking her, and took my hand from her hair, though the other stayed on hers as I got a bit more comfortable. The bed was large enough that I probably wouldn't disturb her so I simply stayed where I was and let myself relax. I wasn't sure how long she'd sleep and I'd promised to watch out for her, and I meant to keep it. After all, if I could live through a war like she'd happened to ask once this would be easy.
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