Post by Camille nó Cereus on Feb 8, 2011 23:32:08 GMT -5
I had never realized it before, but I hated goodbyes. Benôit was only seven years old when it was decided that he should go to Balm House with our father, and I was only eleven. I had loved Benôit passionately since his birth, when I was four years old, and my nickname in our small household was "little mother." I cared for him as well as I was able, and continued to do so as we grew older, and while I was the "little mother," Benôit was the "Shadow," ever at my side. Perhaps that was part of the reason he was sent away, because Mama often said that it was unhealthy how close we were, especially because, as adepts, our lives would be so centered on the needs of others.
The morning that Mama was going to take him over there, I cried. I had cried all night, though very softly, because I did not wish for Benôit to be frightened. I could tell that Mama was annoyed with me, and her admonishments only made me cry harder, until Papa arrived and took me aside, holding me tightly and stroking my hair. Papa's hair was so dark, like ink, but mine was pale as snow, like Mama's.
"Hush now, Little Mother," he said softly, settling me on his lap. "Balm House is not so very far, and you know that I will take care of Benôit ."
"What will I do now, without Benôit ?" I said, wiping my tears on the back of my hand. "He is always with me."
"Let me tell you a secret," Papa said, lowering his voice and glancing at Mama in such a way that I knew it was a true secret. "You have another brother, one who is just as much your blood as Benôit , though you have never met him."
I could scarcely credit such a tale, and while I sat there staring, Mama called impatiently from the doorway of our bedroom for Papa to stop coddling me and come along. "What's his name?" I whispered, clinging to this new information as if it would save me from the hurt of watching Benôit go.
"Sinclair," Papa said, "Sinclair nó Mandrake." My eyes went wide at that, even at eleven I knew something of Mandrakes, and Valerians as well. Well I remembered the spiced candies that had made me cry and drink as much milk as my belly could hold. I had so many more questions, but Mama was getting impatient now, and Papa simply kissed my brow and said softly, "I'm telling you this because a person does not need to be your shadow for them to be your family. Sinclair is as much your brother as Benôit, even if you do not know him."
And then they were gone, and I still cried, but perhaps not for as long as I might have, because now I was wondering about this Mandrake brother of mine, wondering what he was like, and if he would be to me what I was to Benôit . Losing Benôit hurt a bit less, then, for while I had lost a brother, I had gained one as well.
The morning that Mama was going to take him over there, I cried. I had cried all night, though very softly, because I did not wish for Benôit to be frightened. I could tell that Mama was annoyed with me, and her admonishments only made me cry harder, until Papa arrived and took me aside, holding me tightly and stroking my hair. Papa's hair was so dark, like ink, but mine was pale as snow, like Mama's.
"Hush now, Little Mother," he said softly, settling me on his lap. "Balm House is not so very far, and you know that I will take care of Benôit ."
"What will I do now, without Benôit ?" I said, wiping my tears on the back of my hand. "He is always with me."
"Let me tell you a secret," Papa said, lowering his voice and glancing at Mama in such a way that I knew it was a true secret. "You have another brother, one who is just as much your blood as Benôit , though you have never met him."
I could scarcely credit such a tale, and while I sat there staring, Mama called impatiently from the doorway of our bedroom for Papa to stop coddling me and come along. "What's his name?" I whispered, clinging to this new information as if it would save me from the hurt of watching Benôit go.
"Sinclair," Papa said, "Sinclair nó Mandrake." My eyes went wide at that, even at eleven I knew something of Mandrakes, and Valerians as well. Well I remembered the spiced candies that had made me cry and drink as much milk as my belly could hold. I had so many more questions, but Mama was getting impatient now, and Papa simply kissed my brow and said softly, "I'm telling you this because a person does not need to be your shadow for them to be your family. Sinclair is as much your brother as Benôit, even if you do not know him."
And then they were gone, and I still cried, but perhaps not for as long as I might have, because now I was wondering about this Mandrake brother of mine, wondering what he was like, and if he would be to me what I was to Benôit . Losing Benôit hurt a bit less, then, for while I had lost a brother, I had gained one as well.