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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Feb 1, 2011 22:20:00 GMT -5
I didn’t know why I was here. I wasn’t here to get drunk, that was for certain. Who the hell was I kidding I wanted to get drunk so desperately but I knew better than that. It just made... things a whole ordeal easier when I didn’t have to think (much) or I could forget. After my talk with Karina, it seemed like my ropes were unraveling at the ends. How many failed relationships did I have that could have amounted to good? Anixiel? Gabriel? Baltasar? Calista, even. I was just... a person impossible to deal with and yet I could not change. I ordered a drink, against my better judgement and downed it, leaning back into my chair with a sigh. If Trinette lost patience with me, if I could no longer work at Valerian house, where would I go, what would I do?
I desperately needed someone to smack me and put me in the right direction. That was who I was. Despite all my hard headedness and pride, I was still a Valerian to my very core, just a stubborn one. I ordered one more drink but I hesitated. I did not have much coin to waste on such frivolities, but I needed it, but I also did not need to get into another fight. I just needed to clear my head, but it seemed everything was so convoluted. I was at a loss.
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Post by Baltasar de Cordova on Feb 2, 2011 0:05:35 GMT -5
Tonight, I needed cheap drink. Thoughts of what could have been but would never be with Bella had me low, and thoughts of the woman I had met in the bookstore - Miri - had me confused. She was lovely, but truly it seemed we would be great as friends, even if a large part of me would strive for more. D'Angeline women... perhaps I just cannot do it. Regardless, I needed to pillage someone else's liquor stores instead of my own, and I did not wish to pay a pretty penny to be surrounded by nobility that reminded me of my failed attempt. So I headed to Night's Doorstep, striding into the Generous Patron, I took a seat at the bar, not really looking about as I bee lined my way straight to it. I sat myself down and ordered some cheap brandy, hoping the kick and the nasty taste would bring me back to the land of the living and not the grave of the lost in thought.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Feb 2, 2011 0:16:32 GMT -5
I normally did not look up when people walked in, after all this was a tavern and though it was not a busy night, I could not expect to be the sole person here. Only a few other people were chatting here tonight, a week night, miserable people who needed to forget their troubles as I. I idly watched the other in the corner of my eye, just to take a look at the man who sat only a few bar stools away from me, but when it finally registered who it was, I gagged a bit. Now there was a sure fire reason to not drink. I had enough reason to not want to, though it hardly overrode my need to drink. However, seeing Baltasar de Corodova here made me certain that I needed to leave. I barely remembered seeing him at Naia's natal, though I knew that he was there, and I had conversed with him, the specifics had gotten lost to me.
"Thank you," I said gruffly, paying as I rose, trying to slip out as Balta downed whatever horrid drink he had in his grip.
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Post by Baltasar de Cordova on Feb 2, 2011 12:39:05 GMT -5
I had sat complacently, ordered, and received my drink, and had beguin to drink it when I heard a sputtering not far from me. I looked to see a man who indeed looked familiar, a little on the shorter side, but with dark hair and a beautiful profile, and when he turned to leave, leaving his coin on the bar, I had to laugh. Of all people to run into here, it was Sinclair.
"You know that you and drinking never mixes very well, ASinclair," I said with a laugh, loudly before taking another drink. He was already geared to walk out, and I wondered if he had seen me first and thought it the best movce.
"Why dont you join me?" I aske, turning my attention from my mug back to him with a smile. "I am sure we have much to catch up on." I recalled the fete I had taken Aza to, the memory of her causing a shrp little pain. I did not even know why. It was not like we had been courting. It jus tstill hurt. Sinclair had made a fool of himself, and nigh made a fool of me that night, and I wondered if he remembered his misstep.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Feb 2, 2011 13:32:52 GMT -5
When he laughed, I stiffened, instantly glaring as a scowl formed across my features. Lady Luck really did have it out for me recently, didn't she? Could she not grace me with the ability to avoid a problem for one night? It seemed not. I could not even have a peaceful drink, though it might have been better this way as my memories of Naia's natal were foggy other than what she had told me. But Balta was right. I had only gotten drunk twice recently... and that had let to assignation with this infuriating man, the second... I did not know what it led to in specifics but I knew it was not pleasant.
"Well, you have to balance that and how miserable you are feeling," I said flatly, not asking for sympathy but I was not exactly in the mood to talk. When he asked me to join him, to catch up, I sighed and rolled my eyes. I knew Balta well enough that avoiding him and walking out the door was not going to work. He'd just stab my pride with his Aragonian words, so I took the stool and sat, elbows propped up. "I hardly believe I'm in the mood for drink anymore," I grunted, knowing better now that I was in his presence. I rubbed my forehead and eyed him.
"So, ready to mock me, Aragonian? I don't remember that night, if that's what you are thinking." It had just been terrible. I had that sinking feeling about it.
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Post by Baltasar de Cordova on Feb 7, 2011 11:05:58 GMT -5
Like a stubborn ass he took his seat beside me, looking worse than the seven hells combined, really. He looked - sad. PAthetic even which I had not seen him like, even in a drunken stupor he had fight in him, vigor, but now. I looked on him with furrowed brows.
"Yes, well, you attempted to make me, Naia and yourself look an ass before a princess of the blood. Azabelle de Somerville, in fact," I mused with a chuckle, "and did a right good job of it really, if I do say so myself." I sighed. It was in teh past, truly, but it shouldn't excuse what he did, even if he was feeling terrible then, or was having a rough time now.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Mar 2, 2011 17:14:42 GMT -5
I let out a loud laugh. I wasn’t sure if it was bitter or if I actually found the situation humorous. It would be just like me to make the worst of a situation when I didn’t even know what I was doing. I shook my head, getting a shot from the bartender and I tilted it back with a pained expression on my face before I turned to him and looked him over. “Then for that I am sorry, Baltasar,” I said with a stiff nod before I looked away, knowing I wasn’t the kind to apologize but I was trying my best to repair what few relationships I did have, however unsalvageable they were. Mayhaps I should go to apologize to Anixiel too, after that outburst I had at Landis’ Salon? I had been surprised to find her there, happy. It had put me in for a loop.
“The entire night was rough for me. You see, Naia is a close friend of mine.” I wasn’t used to being so open, but I felt explaining was the only way to get him to truly accept my apology and merely shrug it off because it was such a long time ago. I didn’t want that. “I came as a guest, not a contracted Valerian, and she told me they would not be there, yet the entire place ran rampant with my entire House. Someone I am... was... I don’t know, I had to watch her give a public viewing, someone at some point tried to collar me...” And my best friend at that. Well, my old best friend. “And I ruined a couple other relationships that night. Needless to say, it was not my intention to humiliate you in front of a princess as well.”
One more shot. I wasn’t sure I could do this without being partially buzzed, though I had no intention of getting fully drunk.
“So again, I am sorry. I was having a rough night and drank a bit more than I intended. I would have never done that to you intentionally.” It was about all the formality and detachment that I could possibly muster up. If I let any emotion out I felt I would crack entirely.
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Post by Baltasar de Cordova on Mar 2, 2011 17:21:52 GMT -5
He took a shot, downing it like someone just looking to get drunk, not like someone who drank it for the sake of enjoying the drink. I smiled, he was still impulsive and driven by his own desires, and the way he saw things, but it was not always a bad thing, and it was good that, even after his story he was not so dejected to have lost complete connection to himself. I nodded.
"Appology accepted," I said softly before taking a long drought of my drink. "So I guess you are no longer on speaking terms with Naia, nor this... woman you speak of in the showing?" I asked. "Or have you forgiven them and carried on the relationships?" I knew he as not one to like to answer such questions, and truly if he did I would have chalked it up to him feeling obligated to after what he had done as some further measure to make penance. "I seem to remember you had had some issues facing your feelings before, the first time I had met you," I chuckled, remembering how long ago that had been and how he had stormed out of my home before he had a chance to sit down to breakfast. He was constantly running from these slippery situations when truly it was what he would need to grow and elevate himself above his funk.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Mar 2, 2011 17:30:22 GMT -5
I looked at him suspiciously not responding for quite some time after he so easily said ‘apology accepted.’ I apparently had humiliated him in front of a princess (though the details were more than fuzzy) and he so easily accepted it without asking for further penance. I didn’t understand it at all and if I had been closer to him, I might have demanded that he tell me how he could do such a thing, however, as it stood, I was not looking for further confrontation which was a feat in and of itself.
“Naia forgave me,” I said simply and that was that. I did not even speak of Anixiel. I wasn’t sure where I relationships stood, I could still hear her yelling at me as I left the Salon ringing in my ears. This wasn’t over with, she had said. How could she put such faith in me when I deserved none after I had hurt her so? I was destructive, it seemed, but I was still learning to deal with myself, to try and fix this all. Knowing my limits, I resisted the urge to get another shot when he chuckled at me. My fist clenched, as did my jaw.
“And I seem to remember you had some issues keeping your mouth shut, Aragonian,” I snarled right back, though it wasn’t entirely viciously. Balta seemed to know me well enough that me snapping was merely how I was. I supposed that that was what had messed up all my relationships before. I seemed to have a habit of running at the first signs of commitment and vulnerability. “You seem to be fairing well, what are you doing drinking in a bar alone?” Though he was hardly alone now, he had shown up in such a manner.
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Post by Baltasar de Cordova on Mar 7, 2011 12:35:46 GMT -5
I chuckled at his quip, his eyes narrowing at me, tension in his demeanor. I shook my head.
"Well, some things never change, UI suppose," I offered in response. I had gotten under his skin, told him things he did not wish to hear that one night we had met, or rather the morning after, but I was not about to stop now. he did not order hismelf another drink, and so I took a drink from my glass, a long one, gearing up for answering his question. I looked at him, my eyes connecting with his, a sad smile on my face.
"Aye, I am doing well, but I suppose there is somewhat bothering me," Isaid as I looke daway, into my glass, the red liquid reflecting warped versions of the lit candles about us, and my own face, darkened with the colour of the wine, and somewhat else. i let out a sigh, and then chuckled. "But I know you well enough to know that you do not wish to know what ails me. Besides, it is rather silly, truthfully, and I am certain you will call me an insufferable ass at teh end of the explanation anyways, so mayhap we should do away with that," I said, winking befor I took another large gulp, large enough to empty my glass. I set it down on teh table steadily before making a motion at the bar tender to bring me another.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Mar 7, 2011 17:07:49 GMT -5
“I agree,” I murmured, looking at him drink enviously, though the man owned a wine shop, I was more than certain he could hold his fair share of the drink, while I knew my limits. I still could not help but want more, to get a little bit numb, but I was already a bit buzzed and I could only remember the last two times I had gotten drunk... how disastrous those events had been. First, with Balta, then at Naia’s natal... It was best I learn my lesson and not have a third incident of stupidity.
I rolled my eyes when he said I would not care what ailed him. I couldn’t say I cared PARTICULARLY but I was sitting here, he had called me over and it wasn’t like I had an intention of getting to Valerian soon so I waved my hand at him in irritation. “Well if I call you an insufferable ass it is probably for your own good,” I growled a little. Tough love. It was always something I had believed in. “Just get on with it Balta, you aren’t the type to drink in a bar alone, or be alone ever for that matter,” I noted, eyeing him. “So just say what’s on your mind, if nothing else, I’ll listen,” I said and despite lack of better judgement, ordered one more drink. Somehow I felt I would need something to keep me occupied. I wanted to help him, I just... I had never been good at that kind of thing, but after all I had done to him I felt it was the least I could do.
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Post by Baltasar de Cordova on Mar 10, 2011 15:19:47 GMT -5
I could tell that he cared in his own way - Sinclair, always tough as nails on teh outside, but that did not make me forget that part on the inside that was vulnerable too. I knew it was there, no matter how hard he tried to hide it behind the nails. I chuckled, hanging my head slightly again, looking into my drink. For all I was a cheerful man, playful, passionate, I was a sad mess right now, and truly with little reason. I had no claim, and so I should have just shrugged it off, but still there was something about her... that just made her stay in my mind.
"Well that Princess I had been with that night," I said as I riased my head andd turned my gaze on Sinclair, the bartender bringing his drinik. "We... well I started to get felings for her, and I was fairly certain she felt teh same. There is a long story that goes along with this," I said with a soft laugh, a little bitter, "but needless to say she's gone bak to the man she was married to. They had annulled the marriage, and she was free of him, but I suppose the love prevailed afterall. She hasn't seen me or spoken to me since the last time I saw her, before he reentered her life. Normally I am good at shaking these thigns off, normally I don't fall so hard or so quickly, but she... was different... in someway, somehow she was ifferent," I growled low, anger filling me as I slammed my fist down on the bar countertop, cussing lowly in Aragonian.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Mar 20, 2011 6:01:19 GMT -5
I winced inwardly when he mentioned that it was the princess and I could only hope that it was not because of me that had any factor to deal with him losing her. I had to say, seeing him lose his temper and pound a fist on the counter top made me raise a brow. He was always aloof, carefree, playful and seeing him so utterly upset I knew it had to have meant something to him, as opposed to me, so little could upset me for nearly no reason. I was nearly at a loss for what to say to him, I had never been good with such situations and I fiddled with my empty cup.
Speaking from what I knew, I simply said, "It's hard to love a woman who is also in love with someone else, regardless of what feelings you may have for her, she will never be all yours." I could only speak from experience. I was never the kind of person who could deduce common sense and good advice without it. "If she so easily is not talking to you after what feelings you had for one another, she was shallow and untruthful." It was not that easy to forget someone and even now, months later, my feelings still raged for Anixiel, constantly putting me at my highs and my lows.
"Princess or not, she had to at least have been somewhat a fool." And with what dignity I could muster I added, You are a good lover, Aragonian, you are bound to make a woman very happy one day." I only hoped that that had been enough to make him feel better because I had all intent to flee as soon as he seemed back on his feet, especially after that comment I had made. I gripped the glass a bit tightly in my hands.
"Do not make me regret saying such things," I warned him lowly, not meeting his eyes as I looked towards the door. I had said my piece and hopefully had patched things with him enough to keep the guilt off of my shoulders. It was time to move on.
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Post by Baltasar de Cordova on Apr 7, 2011 11:26:47 GMT -5
I nodded at his words, feeling the truth in them, but still there just seemed something else. I did not think that she would deny there were feelings... but perhaps they were just not as strong as I had thought they were... certainly not strong enough to get in the way of true love, that was for certain. And perhaps it was time for me to bury that part of my life, as short as it was, just let it rest. Though i could not forget her, or the effect she had on me, and truly I did not want to, I woul dhave to move onto other things, find something to make me happy, distract myself as best I could so I could heal. When he mentioned that I was a good lover, I grinned, my smile broad as I chuckled, but said nothing about it, especially since the words tha tfollowed. This wa a rre side of inclair I was seeing right ow, and I was not in the mood to chase it away with teasing words, even if I could not help that the playful smile remained on my lips as I turned to face him.
"Thank you for your words, Sinclair," I said with a sigh. "So tell me, what will you be off to do once I finally let you leave my side?" I asked, teasing him just a little.
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