Post by Maxime nó Valerian on Dec 19, 2010 14:50:06 GMT -5
Reflection was not something I was often given to, but it was the twenty-first anniversary of my birth, and for some reason I was filled with melancholy and a bittersweet longing for answers to the question of my past. I seldom thought on it, on the people who had given me life, on why I was an Adept of the Night Court and not in the bosom of a loving family. As a child, these thoughts had often plagued me, but the older I got, the more friends I made, the more Valerian House became my family, the more I forgot about those nagging questions.
As a child, I had been well loved at Camellia House, and I still bore an affection for them, despite House rivalries. Once at Valerian, I had found my family. The past melted away into a haze of memories, until it became something that I no longer gave a care to, except on special occasions. At my debut, I wondered if my parents would have been proud of me, or ashamed at my House, as I knew some were. The first time I had gone to the marquist, I thought about them. The first time I'd said my signale, I wished for comfort and I thought of them.
And today, it was my birthday, and I had had many well-wishers and gifts and a small luncheon in my honor that my friends had surprised me with. While everyone ate and laughed, I was staring out of the window, watching the rain and wondering if my family were still alive, if they had shelter, if I had brothers and sisters. Most of all, if they marked this day and thought of me at all.
"What is going on in that head of yours, Max?" It was Bernadine, another Adept that I was close with. She was several years older than me, indeed had participated much in my training, and I was closer to her than most others. "You are usually the life of the party."
"Ah, what can I say, Bernadine, today I feel my age. The stiffness in my bones, the creakiness in my joints, I do not know how you bear it..." She punched me in the arm, laughing and shaking her head. I smiled wryly, rubbing the spot. "Actually, I was being morose, which does not suit me. Thinking about the past, so far gone that I do not even recall it." Bernadine was an orphan herself, and she knew immediately to what I referred.
"Why do you not go speak to the Dowayne of Camellia about this?" She asked, smiling gently. She had advised me to do this before, but something kept me from it. "Perhaps she could put your mind at ease, or give you some information to help you find them." I wasn't sure I wanted to find them, because the reality surely would not measure up to the ideals in my head. Bernadine slipped an arm around my waist, and rested her head on my chest, burrowing against me.
I realized as I held Bernadine and turned my head to look at the room full of people, all of whom I considered friends- no, family, that it was all right to wonder sometimes about the past, but that it was the present that truly mattered. I had people in my life that I could never replace, that I could not have wished for, and that I would not trade for the world.
No, I would not seek out my history, because I had everything that I needed right here.
As a child, I had been well loved at Camellia House, and I still bore an affection for them, despite House rivalries. Once at Valerian, I had found my family. The past melted away into a haze of memories, until it became something that I no longer gave a care to, except on special occasions. At my debut, I wondered if my parents would have been proud of me, or ashamed at my House, as I knew some were. The first time I had gone to the marquist, I thought about them. The first time I'd said my signale, I wished for comfort and I thought of them.
And today, it was my birthday, and I had had many well-wishers and gifts and a small luncheon in my honor that my friends had surprised me with. While everyone ate and laughed, I was staring out of the window, watching the rain and wondering if my family were still alive, if they had shelter, if I had brothers and sisters. Most of all, if they marked this day and thought of me at all.
"What is going on in that head of yours, Max?" It was Bernadine, another Adept that I was close with. She was several years older than me, indeed had participated much in my training, and I was closer to her than most others. "You are usually the life of the party."
"Ah, what can I say, Bernadine, today I feel my age. The stiffness in my bones, the creakiness in my joints, I do not know how you bear it..." She punched me in the arm, laughing and shaking her head. I smiled wryly, rubbing the spot. "Actually, I was being morose, which does not suit me. Thinking about the past, so far gone that I do not even recall it." Bernadine was an orphan herself, and she knew immediately to what I referred.
"Why do you not go speak to the Dowayne of Camellia about this?" She asked, smiling gently. She had advised me to do this before, but something kept me from it. "Perhaps she could put your mind at ease, or give you some information to help you find them." I wasn't sure I wanted to find them, because the reality surely would not measure up to the ideals in my head. Bernadine slipped an arm around my waist, and rested her head on my chest, burrowing against me.
I realized as I held Bernadine and turned my head to look at the room full of people, all of whom I considered friends- no, family, that it was all right to wonder sometimes about the past, but that it was the present that truly mattered. I had people in my life that I could never replace, that I could not have wished for, and that I would not trade for the world.
No, I would not seek out my history, because I had everything that I needed right here.