Beautiful Insight | After the fete

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I don't remember when I left the fete. I do remember why though. Antigone seemed like a nice person, and I wanted to talk with someone about...well about the injury and all that went with it. She suggested we go to Gentien. I hoped she didn't think this was going to be a typical assignation. Perhaps I should've found another person to talk to.

I didn't have much more time to think on the matter as we soon arrived at the Gentien house.

[Antigone nó Gentian]

When we arrived at Gentian, I led him into the house and to my personal quarters. "Can I offer you a drink, or some other refreshment?" I asked.

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I smiled at her kindness, leaning against a wall once I arrived. "Some juice perhaps, and a light snack?" I wanted my mind fully functional. "I hope you enjoyed your time at the fete," I added quickly.

[Antigone nó Gentian]

"Certainly," I said. "Please, make yourself comfortable." I rang for a servant, and when one appeared, I placed the order and went to go sit by the fire.

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

"Thank you," I told her kindly. I took a deep breath and went over to sat across from her, my eyes drifting from the warm glow of the fire, to the sweetness of her face. "So, tell me a little about Gentian, I'm really a stranger to the night court in general."

[Antigone nó Gentian]

"Gentian is the house of divination," I said. "Many adepts here read dreams, or tarot cards, or smoke signals, or tea leaves...We help patrons see their own minds more clearly, as well as gaze into the past or future."

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

My eyebrows raised for it was precisely what I needed, someone to tell me what I in my myriad of thoughts cannot find. "it sounds like something I could very much use."

[Antigone nó Gentian]

"Is that so?" I asked. "Tell me, what troubles you?"

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I thought and pondered how much I should actually reveal to her. What issue was most pressing to me? I took a deep breath, deciding to lay it all, or very close to all of it out. "Well you see, since I was a young man I have had a thing for honor and developed a coe by which I would live, much like a cassieline. I became a soldier and vowed that I woful never sleep with a woman until I was out of the army. A few years ago I was injured in battle. They say my leg will never be the same and I can never fight again. I don't believe them. If it's true I can start looking at women.... It's quite the conundrum."

Deep down I knew that as much I was wanted to, I would never fight again. Was I scared of the process of finding love?

[Antigone nó Gentian]

I thought a few moments. "I am no healer, so I cannot say whether your leg shall be as new again or not," I said. "But oaths, that's something I know about. You say you're no longer in the army. If that is so, whatever oath you have made is no longer binding, and you ought to be free to pursue women as you choose. Unless there is somewhat else holding you back..." I focused on him, able to feel some fear and apprehension rolling of of him. "You're afraid of something, but it's naught to do with your leg." I said. "What is it, Guy?"

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I had to think about that. A sigh followed. For I knew I would not fight again. "I'm afraid... that my ideal life is gone. I fear I may lose all that I loved about honor and nobility by being out of the army. That a woman might take that away...." No that wasn't quite true... "I'm scared of the process. I've never kissed a woman, never really known what love is like other than love of family. I don't want to make a mistake."

[Antigone nó Gentian]

I thought a moment. "Everyone makes mistakes," I said. "We would all be as gods and angels if we did not. What is important is learning from those mistakes. I at least, and those of my ilk, can help you learn what to do when you meet a special woman." I thought another moment. "Furthermore, honor and nobility do not die outside the military. I have met many honorable and noble people who were never soldiers. Those qualities do not come from without, but from within."

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I nodded, fo I knew what she said to be the truth, not that it changed a whole lot. "I know full well that even in my new postion of authority I will uphold all that I upheld before. It is simply the pressures of normal life, and specifically of courting ... even knowing if a woman is worth pursuing, worth sacrificing for, that is the problem." I gazed at the ground, deep in thought again.

[Antigone nó Gentian]

"How did you know when a comrade in arms was worth sacrificing for?" I asked honestly.

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I pondered her question for to me, and I said this aloud. "Any comrade is worth sacrificing for if they are one of character, in fact even those who are not should still be given grace and sacrifice so that by it they will see a batter way."

[Antigone nó Gentian]

I smiled comfortingly. "The same way you knew a comrade was worth sacrificing for, that is how you will know a woman is worth sacrificing for. Though truth be told, sacrifice is not the defining attribute of a relationship, the way it is on the battlefield. If you find a woman, a truly good one, one who is right for you, you will be giving and taking, rather than just giving."

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I nodded for her words were true. "I suppose also the idea of making mistakes along the way frightens me. I know full well no one gets everything right the first time. I certainly have not. But another person's happiness and my own are on the line. And, truth but told, I know not where to begin." I said a lot at once, but meant it all.

[Antigone nó Gentian]

"Learning to love is certainly risky," I agreed, "but it is a risk that is worth it. You may get hurt once, more than once, but you will learn from those mistakes, and emerge better prepared to make your next relationship a success. That said, for someone with no experience, I must suggest some...practice."

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I nodded, fully seeing where she was coming from. The idea of practice struck me as odd however. I arched a down and said, with a touch of curiosity. "But, love is not a game, like the sports we soldiers would play. It's a feeling of care. I cannot see how you can practice it."

[Antigone nó Gentian]

I decided it was better at this point to stop being delicate and be up front. "It certainly is possible to practice learning to care, and learning how to make a woman feel cared for," I said. "But such a thing has a price. With ordinary women, the price is intangible. But with us...Many a lord has learned to love a woman of his own station by loving an adept first, and unlike other women, we know exactly what we are doing."

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I should have figured we would get around to this point eventually. I smiled kindly and nodded, for I could see her point and yet, I wasn't certain that I agreed with it. "I see what you are saying. Although ... Well I had never really considered the night court as an option, especially as a form of practice. I suppose it's something that I will have to give thought to."

[Antigone nó Gentian]

I was a bit miffed that he had never considered the Night Court - was he too good for us? "I am glad you will think on it," I said. "Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

There was a curtness about her that wasn't there before and I felt badly about it. "Well, I've certainly done my fair share of the talking. Perhaps there are things you'd like to talk about?" I asked with a smile.

[Antigone nó Gentian]

I opened my hands. "I am contracted for the evening and at your disposal," I said with a smile. "I am happy to discuss anything you wish, and you may ask me anything you like."

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I nodded and thought about exactly what I would talk about, for I had no plans to share in Naamah's gifts with her, as beautiful as she was. I suppose I could eventually ... "Well, and I know this seems random, but I wondered what you thought of some of the tales of Aragonia, you know the chivalric love stories?"

[Antigone nó Gentian]

I chuckled. "No one's asked me that before," I said thoughtfully. "I am familiar with the stories to which you refer, but I enjoy them from time to time. Occasionally to me they seem redundant, formulaic, but I have read many unique stories as well."

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

I chuckled as well and nodded. "I will have to agree that they have a bit of repetition in them, though I have my own theory about that. Tell me a bit about the stories you enjoy." I leaned forward a little out of genuine curiosity.

[Antigone nó Gentian]

"Well, in particular, I liked the one where the princess saved the knight from the dragon, instead of the other way around," I said.

[Guy de Mereliot (R)]

As much as I would have liked to explain that there is tradition to be served I couldn't help but chuckle and nod. "I see. I don't believe I've read that story, though I did read one about a woman who led her army on a trip to the south of the earth. It was long and quite the adventure. I'd recommend it."

[Antigone nó Gentian]

"Oh yes, I liked that one too," I said. "It was fun to read."