Post by Leighton Shahrizai on Aug 1, 2010 13:15:56 GMT -5
I hated being alone, and not for the fact of actually being by myself, but that it was because I was deprived of the one person who knew me, the one person who loved me. Raen was everything I wanted, everything I needed, and having him taken from me was like stealing the air I breathed.
The worst thing was that I couldn't pin it all on her. She was more than just an unwelcome presence in the house - she was a burr in my foot, something less than a servant. Less than a slave. She was comparable to the horse dung in the stables, but even that had its purposes in fertilization; the only good Ashes had was to bear Raens babe. After that, was there any use for her? Any purpose?
Not one, and she knew it.
But, no - this fell on Grandfather. He stripped my brother from me, my love, my heart, cut me out of the house here and into a scraggly little home in the South Borough, and for what? Because of the color of my hair... The shade of my skin, the hue of my eyes. I was as good as outcasted, and I'd always hated him for it. That I was his namesake didn't help; the moment he'd seen the wisps of white-blond curls upon my head, he'd written me off. Asha was with my brother now, in my place, in my seat.. I refused to think of them sleeping together at night, sitting next to each other during the day, eating meals together. A quiver of rage filtered through me, and I had to concentrate on the book I was trying to read to get past it, trying to bring a blankness to my mind.
Two days it'd been since they'd left, and I'd filled my time with idle fancies. Books, sewing, shopping, though I had to be careful of even that, using only the gold Raen gave me and not incurring more bills to be sent to Grandfather in Raens absence. I hated my life, but I didn't know what to do about it - I was helpless... Helpless, and Grandfather knew it. My thoughts drifted to Azriel, but I hadn't heard anything from him, his friendship likely dead in the water. No, not a friendship, just the hint of one, a foreshadow that never had the chance to properly develop.
Sighing, I pulled my knees in towards my chest, my eyes closed and my head laying back against the wicker chair. There was a quietness about the house; only two servants were around, though at this time of day one was likely at the market buying produce, and the other was busy in the kitchens. Long moments passed, and the more I concentrated on the blankness, the easier it came, filtering over me as sleep began to steal into my conscious mind. Faces flittered in and out of my mind, to and fro, places, flowers and picnicking by the little stream of my youth... Dreams of happier places, happier days. I could almost hear voices, low male voices, murmuring on how she looked happy; vaguely I could feel a smile on my face, sensing they were speaking of me. I was happy, for this moment. I was free, I was...
A gasp ripped from my throat as suddenly my wrists were caught up and I was yanked from my chair, my legs not getting under me quick enough to stop me from falling to the ground. Whatever it was that had my wrists didn't fall with me though, and my shoulders were wrenched painfully by the sudden stop, held up high enough that my knees couldn't reach the ground. Before I could cry out, while the gasp still had my jaws apart, a rag was stuffed between my teeth and another hand clamped under my chin, pushing my jaw up hard, pushing my head back into the torso of whomever it was that had me.
All sleep grogginess faded from my mind instantly, and everything was excruciatingly clear. Not one someone - two. Two men, with rough hands. Before I could see more, they pushed me to the ground, forcing me onto my belly and flashing a knife before my eyes. "No screaming now, Missy... I'd hate to have to start carving you now to make my point."
A dark chuckle followed from behind me as the other set about tying my hands together.. Oh gods, oh gods, what was happening?! "NO!" I screamed, or rather tried to; the gag filling my mouth took most of the sound away, leaving a high pitched squeal in the wake. I didn't waste time; I thrashed, kicking out with my legs, my arms, pounding with my fists and my heels, trying to connect in any way I could. The grunts I heard, the feel of my feet and hands hitting flesh only spurred me on, arching my back and struggling with every last fiber in me to get away. I didn't care why they were here, or what they wanted from me - I just needed to get free. I could outrun them, I was sure, I could...
"Bitch!"
Lights exploded before my eyes, a myriad of colors and shapes dancing. I'd managed to roll to my side enough that I could see their faces, contorted with rage, one bleeding from his lip and his nose both. He spat at me, showering me with speckles of blood as he lifted his fist back to strike me again. My cheek was throbbing, my eye hurt, but I could feel the gag loosening in my mouth and I struggled to get it out the rest of the way as the other man caught up my arms.
"Forget that, just tie her damn legs! And shut yer mouth ye damn fool, or we'll have the household down on us! I told you we should have waited for night, but you just couldn't wait, you son of a bastard goat..."
I glared at him, at both of them, my eyes flashing from one to the other as I lurched again in a wild attempt to free myself. Almost casually the first shifted, and a boot to my back made me sob with sudden pain; my shoulders hurt from the initial drop and stop when they'd jerked me to my feet, and my face was throbbing with a pain I felt deep within my bones. Tears began forming at the corners of my eyes as my wrists were bound, and as he moved to tie my legs, the first strung a piece of cloth over my mouth, securing the gag in place and tying it, catching my hair up and pulling it as well.
I glared at them, glared at both from behind the tears that streamed from my eyes, but I didn't stop fighting. Another scream ripped from my throat so hard that it hurt, and another. The knife came back, touching my cheek near my unblemished eye, and it was enough to stop me from screaming again.
"Knock her out. It's the only way we'll make it out without her calling the damn guards down on us."
Scar-face sneered, and I tried to pull back, shaking my head as the knife was removed from my face. 'No!' I tried saying. 'Please, gods, stop, just let me go, let me..'
His fist came down. This time, there was no colors, no shapes, only blackness.
The worst thing was that I couldn't pin it all on her. She was more than just an unwelcome presence in the house - she was a burr in my foot, something less than a servant. Less than a slave. She was comparable to the horse dung in the stables, but even that had its purposes in fertilization; the only good Ashes had was to bear Raens babe. After that, was there any use for her? Any purpose?
Not one, and she knew it.
But, no - this fell on Grandfather. He stripped my brother from me, my love, my heart, cut me out of the house here and into a scraggly little home in the South Borough, and for what? Because of the color of my hair... The shade of my skin, the hue of my eyes. I was as good as outcasted, and I'd always hated him for it. That I was his namesake didn't help; the moment he'd seen the wisps of white-blond curls upon my head, he'd written me off. Asha was with my brother now, in my place, in my seat.. I refused to think of them sleeping together at night, sitting next to each other during the day, eating meals together. A quiver of rage filtered through me, and I had to concentrate on the book I was trying to read to get past it, trying to bring a blankness to my mind.
Two days it'd been since they'd left, and I'd filled my time with idle fancies. Books, sewing, shopping, though I had to be careful of even that, using only the gold Raen gave me and not incurring more bills to be sent to Grandfather in Raens absence. I hated my life, but I didn't know what to do about it - I was helpless... Helpless, and Grandfather knew it. My thoughts drifted to Azriel, but I hadn't heard anything from him, his friendship likely dead in the water. No, not a friendship, just the hint of one, a foreshadow that never had the chance to properly develop.
Sighing, I pulled my knees in towards my chest, my eyes closed and my head laying back against the wicker chair. There was a quietness about the house; only two servants were around, though at this time of day one was likely at the market buying produce, and the other was busy in the kitchens. Long moments passed, and the more I concentrated on the blankness, the easier it came, filtering over me as sleep began to steal into my conscious mind. Faces flittered in and out of my mind, to and fro, places, flowers and picnicking by the little stream of my youth... Dreams of happier places, happier days. I could almost hear voices, low male voices, murmuring on how she looked happy; vaguely I could feel a smile on my face, sensing they were speaking of me. I was happy, for this moment. I was free, I was...
A gasp ripped from my throat as suddenly my wrists were caught up and I was yanked from my chair, my legs not getting under me quick enough to stop me from falling to the ground. Whatever it was that had my wrists didn't fall with me though, and my shoulders were wrenched painfully by the sudden stop, held up high enough that my knees couldn't reach the ground. Before I could cry out, while the gasp still had my jaws apart, a rag was stuffed between my teeth and another hand clamped under my chin, pushing my jaw up hard, pushing my head back into the torso of whomever it was that had me.
All sleep grogginess faded from my mind instantly, and everything was excruciatingly clear. Not one someone - two. Two men, with rough hands. Before I could see more, they pushed me to the ground, forcing me onto my belly and flashing a knife before my eyes. "No screaming now, Missy... I'd hate to have to start carving you now to make my point."
A dark chuckle followed from behind me as the other set about tying my hands together.. Oh gods, oh gods, what was happening?! "NO!" I screamed, or rather tried to; the gag filling my mouth took most of the sound away, leaving a high pitched squeal in the wake. I didn't waste time; I thrashed, kicking out with my legs, my arms, pounding with my fists and my heels, trying to connect in any way I could. The grunts I heard, the feel of my feet and hands hitting flesh only spurred me on, arching my back and struggling with every last fiber in me to get away. I didn't care why they were here, or what they wanted from me - I just needed to get free. I could outrun them, I was sure, I could...
"Bitch!"
Lights exploded before my eyes, a myriad of colors and shapes dancing. I'd managed to roll to my side enough that I could see their faces, contorted with rage, one bleeding from his lip and his nose both. He spat at me, showering me with speckles of blood as he lifted his fist back to strike me again. My cheek was throbbing, my eye hurt, but I could feel the gag loosening in my mouth and I struggled to get it out the rest of the way as the other man caught up my arms.
"Forget that, just tie her damn legs! And shut yer mouth ye damn fool, or we'll have the household down on us! I told you we should have waited for night, but you just couldn't wait, you son of a bastard goat..."
I glared at him, at both of them, my eyes flashing from one to the other as I lurched again in a wild attempt to free myself. Almost casually the first shifted, and a boot to my back made me sob with sudden pain; my shoulders hurt from the initial drop and stop when they'd jerked me to my feet, and my face was throbbing with a pain I felt deep within my bones. Tears began forming at the corners of my eyes as my wrists were bound, and as he moved to tie my legs, the first strung a piece of cloth over my mouth, securing the gag in place and tying it, catching my hair up and pulling it as well.
I glared at them, glared at both from behind the tears that streamed from my eyes, but I didn't stop fighting. Another scream ripped from my throat so hard that it hurt, and another. The knife came back, touching my cheek near my unblemished eye, and it was enough to stop me from screaming again.
"Knock her out. It's the only way we'll make it out without her calling the damn guards down on us."
Scar-face sneered, and I tried to pull back, shaking my head as the knife was removed from my face. 'No!' I tried saying. 'Please, gods, stop, just let me go, let me..'
His fist came down. This time, there was no colors, no shapes, only blackness.