Catching Alexei

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I'd only just heard of it, that her Majesty and his Highness would not be returning to the dinner. My brows furrowed as I'd looked at Christien, and I'd hurriedly excused myself to track Alexei down, knowing there was likely only one result given everything that had happened before. Sweeping a kiss upon Christiens lips, I turned and hurried off, cutting through the halls. Two inquires brought me to Sabrinas room, though before I could reach the doors, I saw him striding down the hall.

"Alexei," I called, my voice pitched softly in the marble hallways. My heels clicked upon the floor as I hurried to catch up to him, but his legs were so ungodly long that I was afraid if he didn't stop, I'd never shorten the distance. "Please Alexei, stop, just for a moment."

[Alexei Romanov]

I stopped, knowing I owed Coretta this much for her earlier kindness if for no other reason.

Turning, I looked at her as she drew closer, my eyes also scanning the hallway to see if anyone else was around. We were alone for the moment, but I doubted that would last long. If nothing else, Sabrina would be coming back to her rooms at some point. Just the thought of her brought fresh tears to my eyes and I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand.

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I wasn't honestly sure if he would stop, so when he did, relief trickled out into my chest, and I hurried my steps even more til I was abreast with him. Watching him wipe at his eyes was probably one of the hardest things I'd seen, and it broke my heart to know he was hurting so much.

"I'm so sorry," I said softly, my features reflecting sorrow, wishing I could do something for him to help. "I hope what Christien and I were saying to that Jaime fellow had nothing to do with this... Gods, Alexei, I'm so sorry."

Very tentatively, I reached and touched his arm, hoping against hope he wouldn't flinch away from me. "Mayhap we should walk," I added softly, glancing down the hallway before looking back to him again.

[Alexei Romanov]

“This is between your sister and me,” I said, pressing my eyes closed to keep from crying any more.

“You can walk with me to my carriage if you like. I am leaving…” My voice broke. “I am going back to Ruskovia.”

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I nodded, keeping any other thoughts to myself as I turned to walk with him... mayhap movement would help him, give him something else to focus on. "Oh Alexei," I breathed quietly, my eyes on the floor tiles before us. "Are you sure this won't blow over? She might come to realize and see things..."

Gods, I hoped she did. Alexei was Sabrinas counterweight, with enough gumption to stand up to her when he thought she was being wrong, and enough love to protect her from everything in the world. She needed someone like him, and as much as I hated to admit it, she and I were alike in that aspect.

[Alexei Romanov]

“No, this won’t blow over,” I said, shaking my head as we walked. “I am tired of fighting with her about this same thing, over and over. She will think that I am just backward and that I believe she should always be second to me, but that is not it at all. All I have wanted since even before I knew I loved her was to stand by her side, to be her partner, but she will never see me that way. I will always be less to her, less than a husband less that an equal. She does not understand why I am not alright with her taking lovers or hanging all over some strange man.”

My hand came up and I wiped at my eyes again. “I refuse to live a life cuckolded by her, and she refuses to see me as more than a favored servant. There is nothing left to be said between us, nothing will fix this.”

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I wanted to hug him, fiercely, to try to soothe his wounds, but it wasn't the time for anything like that. It was too painful, too fresh and raw; more than likely, he didn't even want to be touched. Tears gathered in my own eyes as I listened to him, and I tried vainly to rid myself of them so I could focus better on him.

That Sabrina apparently wanted other lovers came as an absolute shock to me; I'd never heard of that before with her, never would have thought of it... but it made sense on how Alexei picked up on Jaime so quickly, though not that Sabrina made it very difficult to show her like for him. Any more simpering and she might as well have had her breasts out for him.

"I wish I could go with you," I said softly, but bitterly. "Sabrina never looks at me like anything but a pest, an annoying little creature that she can't rid herself of... I understand where you're coming from on some points, at least. She looks at both of us as if we're less than her." I hesitated, glancing up at him. The tears were mostly gone from my eyes, but lined my lower lids a little, glistening just into my eyelashes. "I know I must have driven you crazy at least a few times Alexei.. but I hope you know that if you ever want a friendly ear, or someone to talk to, that I'm here. You've always a friend in me."

[Alexei Romanov]

I paused, turning to look at her. Reaching out, I touched her arm softly. “Thank you,” I said. “I am sorry if I acted like the older brother you didn’t need.” I began to walk again, a new grief welling inside me. Not only was I losing Sabrina, but everyone else I had come to know here. Once I had thought to spend the rest of my life here, and I had tried to do all I could to make it my home. I couldn’t stay though.

“Should you ever decide to travel, you shall always be welcome at Palace Ruska,” I told her, managing a faint smile. “I would suggest a summer visit though.”

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

My arm tingled a little where he'd touched it, and before he'd turned away to start walking again, the tears sprung to my eyes. I couldn't walk for a few seconds, and when I was able to, I had to hurry to catch up to him and his long legs again. "Alexei," I begged softly, my voice breaking as I caught his arm up in my hand. "Please..." Please what? Don't leave? Stay for me, and watch the woman you love fall into another? The tears rolled down my cheeks, and I faltered in speech, my hand tightening its grip upon his strong arm. "I'm going to miss you, so very much." It came out softly, but I knew he'd hear... Bear always had the best of hearing.

[Alexei Romanov]

My heart ached to the point I thought it might just give up beating at all.

“I’m going to miss you too, Coretta,” I said softly. I placed my hand over hers on my arm, squeezing softly. “I wish I could stay, for you, for Christien, but I can’t.” I shook my head a little. “She will be with someone else…soon if I had to wager, and I will never live through having to see it with my own eyes.”

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I pressed the side of my face against his arm as we walked, feeling closer to him now than I ever had before. Ironic, I thought bitterly, as it was upon the eve of his leaving.

"I know," I said softly, struggling to stop crying. "I understand why you can't stay... I could never ask you to." Regretfully I lifted my head up, pulling in a shaky breath before looking up at him. "How long do you think you'll be in the townhome?" How long before you leave us forever?

[Alexei Romanov]

"I'm leaving in the morning," I told her. "I'll have my things sent when transport can be arranged, but I can't stay any longer than the night." I sighed deeply. "If not for needing to speak to my brothers, I would leave right away."

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I nodded numbly, crestfallen, but I tried to push it all away in the face of this gods-awful news. Who knew if I'd ever see him again?

We were drawing near the doors, and I stopped us short of them, drawing him to a halt with me. Lifting up on tiptoes, I threw my arms about his shoulders and buried my face in his neck, my eyes pressed against his skin. "I love you, Bear," I whispered, and though it was soft, I knew he'd hear.

[Alexei Romanov]

I smiled softly as she used the name she and her brother had given me. Somehow it was endearing from her, while the thought of being Sabrina's trained bear was driving me away.

I squeezed her gently, my hand stroking her hair comfortingly. "I love you too, Coretta," I told her softly. Drawing back just enough so that I could see her face, I looked into her eyes. "You are stronger than you know. Trust in yourself and listen to your heart. Your siblings need you, but before you can help them, you must find yourself. There is a better mind behind your lovely face than most would ever believe, use it."

With my thumb, I wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You are a Princess of House Courcel, through your veins runs the blood of angels and that of warriors. Never allow Sabrina nor anyone else to treat you as anything less." I leaned in and kissed her forehead softly.

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I fair trembled in Alexei's hands as he so gently held me, his words striking deeper into me than mayhap anyones ever had. They rooted deeper than Sabrinas disapproving looks, seeded within my heart, my very soul. I closed my eyes as he kissed my forehead, savoring the moment, the chance that this might be the last time I ever see him.

"Thank you," I whispered, positive he'd never know how much that meant to me. I could see why Sabrina had loved him; in my own way, a piece of me loved him, too. My hand rose, touching his cheek once before I sighed and sank back down upon my heels again, reluctantly letting him go. "Don't let her ruin your outlook on love," I said softly, catching one of his hands and kissing the back of his knuckles before drawing away completely, forcing a smile to my mouth and wiping fresh tears from my cheeks with the backs of my hands. "You should go, before I try to convince you to live in my closet," I said, trying to make light of it, but my heart was still breaking in my chest, cracking open in ways that hadn't been touched since my parents had died.

[Alexei Romanov]

“I’ve never seen you wear the same gown twice, somehow I doubt there is room for me in your closet,” I told her, trying to keep her from crying any more. “Be well Coretta and write me if you wish, I promise I will always write back. And remember, you will ever be welcome in Ruskovia.”

I looked at her for half a moment before turning and heading to the doors. There, I stopped and looked about the grand entrance one last time. Looking down, I wiped the tears from my eyes again and went outside, taking the first steps on the road home.

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I watched him as he left, waking surely, but with the movements of a man who didn't think he'd ever be back... and as he disappeared from view, I turned and kept my chin up, holding back the tears by willpower alone. I needed Christien, needed him like a drug - I just prayed I didn't come across Sabrina before I could find him.

[Prince Christien de la Courcel]

I had actually stayed and eaten, almost the entire meal, save dessert. My sister really had outdone herself, and by the time the dessert course arrived, I couldn't eat another bite. I thought of Coretta though, and had the staff box it up nicely for me to bring her. A gift, for I knew she was upset about the fight between Sabrina and Alexei. She liked him, and I supposed I did too, as much I liked anyone but my sister.

Walking the halls, I didn't have to go far, spying Coretta down the hall. I could tell from her posture that she was upset, and I felt immediately guilty for enjoying that dinner so immensely.

"Are you all right?" I asked her, dinner forgotten as worry creased my brow. "What's happened?"

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

Seeing Christien come towards me was more than just a blessing, and my footsteps hurried til I was at his side, holding onto his arm, pressed into his side. I always felt so secure with him nearby; when I had Christien, nothing could reach me.

"Alexei's leaving," I said softly, keeping my voice low so others couldn't hear. I guided us back to where our rooms lay; his room or mine, it didn't matter to me which we went to. "She's finally done it, Christien. She's pushed away everyone who loves her."

[Prince Christien de la Courcel]

"Leaving?" I questioned, my frown deepening. "To his townhouse? Well, maybe it will be good for him to get out of the palace a bit. Sabrina was acting a fool with that Jaime fellow. I cannot abide him, by the way, such a prig." I followed her toward our rooms, my arm around her, still not grasping why she was so upset. "It will be fine, I'm sure he will come back once Sabrina's realizes she's made a fool of herself and apologizes. Don't be upset," I kissed her brow as we walked, trying to comfort her.

[Queen Coretta de la Courcel]

I curled into his side as we walked, one hand upon his chest, my cheek on his shoulder, though I was facing outwards. "No," I said despairingly, looking up at him, trusting him to guide me as we moved. "He's leaving! Tonight he'll be at his townhome, and tomorrow he's heading for the coast." My lip trembled, and I sniffled. "To Ruskovia."

We reached our rooms, and I picked out Christiens to go into, feeling somehow more secure there than I did in my own. Only once we were inside and the doors shut did I realize he held some boxes, but I turned, pressing my face into his chest for a long moment before pulling back again. "Gods, why does she have to be so awful?"

[Prince Christien de la Courcel]

I was shocked by the news; there must have been more going on between them than we had known, surely he had not been driven away by this dinner? "To Ruskovia?" I repeated as we entered my room, and I let the boxes rest on the chair as she buried herself against me. I ran my hand over her hair, kissing the top of her head and sighing heavily.

"I don't know, I never have... but mayhap he will change his mind on the morrow? Then again, I can't say I blame him for going, can you?"