Therin's Brand of Counsel

[Therin Shahrizai de Leveque]

The night of the Shahrizai Fete, Year two of Sabrina's Reign

The fete had ended, but I did not feel like my time with 'Fand shouldn't end. I knew that he was feeling poorly about himself because of the culture he grew up in. They may have reasons for feeling the way they do, but in reality 'Fand was not a evil or unhonorable person and I had in my mind to make him realize this.

I invited him into my home once again. This time, however, my mother was not present and we had peace.

"Would you like a drink?" I asked as I lead him toward the sitting room.

[Asfandiyar Azarkevanejad]

The fete was still reeling through my head like a sand storm, making me feel a little dizzy. Had I really been present at such an event? It felt like some kind of bizarre dream. I couldn't name it a nightmare or a fantasy… it was something strangely in between the two. Going back to Therin's townhouse felt like a very good idea, for if I'd been on my own to replay the fete to myself endlessly, I might have only given myself a terrible headache.

Just the scent of him coming to me through the open front door was calming. He exercised a pleasant effect upon me, that was certain. Comfort, maybe even trust; the feeling one gets when one sinks into one's own bed after lengthy travels abroad. But I was concerned over what he would say regarding my behaviour toward him at the party, now that we were alone behind closed doors.

I followed him yet again into the parlour where I had conversed with he and his mother before. The house was silent, not a creak of floorboards to disturb us, so I guessed that she was not home today.

"Yes, I think I need one," I answered, pushing my forehead into my hand for a moment, feeling oddly exhausted. "After all that. I wonder if I have too delicate a constitution for such excitement." I chuckled self-deprecatingly. Honestly, when all was said and done I was glad I had accompanied Therin to the fete. Despite my wrung out state, I had after all gleaned insight into a world I was meant to be part of. It frightened me slightly, but I could not avoid the truth simply because of nerves.

[Therin Shahrizai de Leveque]

There was a bottle of wine that had not been opened waiting on the bar. I picked it up and looked it over, apparently one of my parents had been distracted when planning on getting a drink. I was more than happy to make good with the bottle. I was not allowed to wonder into their stash, but anything sitting out was fair game.

I poured us both a glass and then took a seat on the couch after handing 'Fand his. "I hope that the evening didn't make you think ill of our family." I thought of the rude man who had sat next to 'Fand and had offended Avirelle. I had forgotten about her until then. Hopefully she had found someone to make up for it.

[Asfandiyar Azarkevanejad]

I shook my head emphatically, looking at him with eyes that begged him not to mistake my reticence. "No, no, that is not it at all… it's only that… well. I'm not precisely used to such gatherings. Even less used to the D'Angeline way of being so open and so brazen." Here I smiled a little, looking down at the glass of wine he passed into my hands. "People in Drujan, just as one of those unspoken general social rules, are much more private with their thoughts and... Proclivities... than the people here. It's a bit overwhelming at times, to be surrounded by such blatancy. I'm able to accept it in private conversation, so I thought it would be alright in quantity." I took a shaky sip of the wine, letting it roll over my tongue, savouring that prickling flavour that only came from this country's vines. "I'm surprized to have overestimated my adaptive capabilities. But then… I'm a sheltered temple rat, aren't I? I don't know what I expected."

I looked up at him over the glass, holding it in both hands beneath my chin. My eyes met his with innocence suggesting I meant no offense to Therin personally for what I was about to say. "And I now know that the Shahrizai are not exactly the picture of polite restraint and temperance."

[Therin Shahrizai de Leveque]

I laughed a little when he spoke of the Shahrizai being of polite restraint, "no we are not," I said matter-of-factly. "We do not have these parties every other day, but we do enjoy such displays on occasion. You would not have to attend more fetes of that nature if they make you feel uncomfortable. It's not a requirement to be part of the family."

I sipped some of my wine, some of 'Fand's words floating around in my head. He seemed to not have a lot of confidence in himself and it did bother me a little. It did seem as if he could have a better life here and I found myself hoping again that he would choose to stay. "You are not a temple rat here," I told him, "and free to do as you truly please. I hope that you know you are welcomed here any time."

[Asfandiyar Azarkevanejad]

I mulled over his words a moment as I took another drink, then smiled warmly back at him. "Thank you," I returned, pausing. "I… I do deeply appreciate your indulgence of me, Aghaye Therin. You are a very kind person. It isn't every day that foreigners are so gently shepherded. In any country. You have not just introduced me to my family - surprizing as they may be - but have shown me true consideration. Caring, even." I remembered his warm arm around me then, the sensation of reassurance and protection ebbing off him to cover me like a shield. I had never felt that kind of security. He had drawn me with it, whether he or I had realized it or not. To feel safe… it was such an unfamiliar thing for me.

But I did wonder why he was so adamant about my freedom. I was a person who had accepted my burdens, for I was the only one qualified to do so. Who was I to argue my Gods' will? Yet he seemed to think that this meant ill for me. "To do as I truly please," I considered, pushing my fingertip in circular motions around the rim of my glass. "I'm not entirely sure that I know what I truly please. I've never thought much about such things. It is difficult to have selfish desires when one's soul is full with responsibilities." I gave him a little smile, a sad attempt at bravery, a failed attempt at offhandedness.

[Therin Shahrizai de Leveque]

I had not thought that much about my actions. Fand had high thoughts about me and I only hoped that I would not diappoint. Though if i did I would probably not be that surprised. I was never great with my personal relationships.

I thought of the people I knew of who had a lot of responsbility to others. With them I knew that they still had personal pleasures they persued. Granted, the Queen of Terre d'Ange did not spend as much time as my mother in her personal indulgences. But, I didn't think that she forsook all of the things that she loved. To do so would seem to be against the creed of Terre d'Ange anyways.

"A person can better exicute their responsibilities if they are relaxed and have peace of mind. To indulge now and and again is simply keeping your mind healthy so that you can better consider the needs of those around you." I smiled to myself then, and openly, thinking that my words sounded pretty smart.

I didn't want the entier evening to be us in serious thought so I added with a jesting smile, "besides, you couldn't spend time with me if you ignored all personal desires."