Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on Apr 26, 2010 15:59:57 GMT -5
She was leaving.
There was naught else that filled my mind, no other thoughts, but that she was leaving. She was going away, taking a vacation, giving herself room aplenty and time aplenty to think things over, whether she wanted to stay, whether she wanted to go, whether she wanted to be with me, all this for a one night stand that should not have happened in the first place.
And of course it was all my fault. Most would say had I kept my mouth closed, then I would have been fine, she would never have been teh wiser, and that may have been so, but I was not one to lie in that fashion. Well I was not one to lie generally at all. Except in that I lied to myself, and to her, by having myself that one indiscresion. Most would say, "love as thou wilt" and that is true as well, but when I promised her I wanted no other, and knowing that she would have been fine had I asked her or mentioned it to her, and I didn't, made me all the more guilty.
And so, with a heavy heart and a heavy mind, with worry in teh pit of my stomach, and not wishing to find solace in Balm House in the arms of another woman, not so soon, perhaps not ever, I went to the Temple of Eisheth, wondering if her healing powers might extend to a wayward mortal like myself.
I entered the building, removing my shoes as was customary in all temples, and I sat on a bench just inside the door, hoping that someone would be by soon to collect me. I did not know what could be done for my state of mind, or my state of heart, but I hoped that there was something, and that I was not yet considered a hopeless cause.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on Apr 26, 2010 16:22:24 GMT -5
I was alerted immediately when someone entered the Sanctuary, and as I paused in the doorway that led from the private rooms into the main part of the Temple, I gave the man sitting there a good look. It was plain to see that something was weighing heavily on him, and his expression touched that tender part of my heart, the part that made me want to help people. Clearing my throat, I crossed the room to where he sat on the bench, and when I stood in front of him, I gave a slight bow, "Welcome to the Sanctuary of Eisheth, my lord. WHat can we do to help you today?"
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on Apr 27, 2010 11:49:29 GMT -5
I heard the clear of one's throat before I had heard the pad of feet across the stone floor. I looked up at the voice that beckoned my attention, feeling at sorts with myself that I had not even noticed her approach. And when I looked up, my eyes gazed upon an ethereal beauty, long flowing red locks and stunning eyes in a face unblemished and young. I did nto know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting someone like her.
And sadly, her beauty, and the way I appreciated it, made it even more difficult for me to bear my burden. Would I never stop noticing the beauty of others?
I sighed deeply before dropping my gaze to the floor between us.
"I sure hope so. I am troubled, very trouble, in mind and spirit," I explained to her. "And heart. Very much broken in heart," I murmured, "and I need... I need..." I did not know what I needed, and that was why I was here. "I need to know what I need, what I need to do, to make everything right, with myself, with her," I said, my thoughts not terribly coherent. I was speaking from my heart, not from my brain. I looked up to her, sadness no doubt writ all over my demeanor. "Can you help me?" I asked her, pleaded with her.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on Apr 27, 2010 12:08:20 GMT -5
I listened to this man before me speak of having many troubles. Mind, spirit, and heart, he said. I sensed how he reacted to me, and when he looked down, as if in shame, I wondered at that. Were I anyone but myself, I might have taken it as a sign that he found the floor far more appealing to look at than my face.
But I was myself, and a very dedicated Priestess, so I listened to what me was saying, between the words. And when he made his plea, then looked back up, I couldn't help but be touched by how very remorseful and sad he looked.
So I smiled gently, and nodded, then held out my hand. "Let us walk in the garden, out in the sunshine, my lord, and I will tell you what I believe may help."
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on Apr 28, 2010 11:05:26 GMT -5
She extended her hand to me after hearing my plight, and I fear that I must have been flushed for my passion on the topic. I looked at her hand, hesitating for a moment, and then took it gently, rising to stand beside her. It was chilly outside, but perhaps the fresh air would help to clear my mind. She knew what she was doing, I would haev to trust, and so I waited for her direction.
"I am sorry I do not really know the way. I have never paid a visit to this temple before," I said, a little embarassed. "Though it is a fine temple, I assure you," I added quickly afterwards.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on Apr 28, 2010 11:15:45 GMT -5
I smiled gently when he took my hand and stood. "Not to worry, my lord, I know every inch of this Temple."
I led him along, through the main room and out a doorway that led into the open garden in the center of the Santuary. The ground here was always kept clear, and the surrounding walls kept it warmer, and mostly dry and free of wind. The sun that shone down on us warmed the paving even more, and I wasn't afraid to come out here barefoot, even in the middle of winter.
I led to us one side of the garden, where a single bench had been placed. "Have a seat, my lord, and enjoy some sunshine." I smiled, and waited for him to sit down. I myself remained standing, my face raised to the sky.
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on Apr 28, 2010 12:29:00 GMT -5
I was lead through the main area and out a door to a walled in demi-garden. It was lovely, and far warmer than I had anticipated here, and when she lead me to the bench, I took a seat as she had directed, adn looked up at her, who in turn, was looking up towards the sky. I closed my eyes, and tried to centre myself, guessing that that would probably be best rather than to have to explain everything in some sort of blubbering fashion. I took a deep breath, a shuddering one, and let it out slowly, but I could feel my nervousness, my sadness, anger, a maelstrom of emotions that swirled and broke inside me.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on Apr 29, 2010 11:24:59 GMT -5
After several moments, I lowered my face and looked at the pale blonde man who had asked for help. With a gentle smile, I went and knelt before him, my eyes raised to his face now. "Now, why don't you tell me a bit more about the troubles you seek help with, my lord."
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on May 10, 2010 13:55:47 GMT -5
I sighed deeply, knowing I would have to recount the issues that had arisen, and where from, but I looked at the woman as she knelt before me, kindness in every line of her being, and wonderd if she would judge me after I had done speaking.
"It's a rather long and tarryign story," I started off, sighing. "My mother ... well step mother, mother by marriage, who happened to be younger than me... you see, my father died, passed a while ago, and I had hated her, she had hated me as well, until we were really and truly forced to live in teh same home together, in the City," I started to recount the story, images filling my minds eye as I continued on. "And we came to know each other, and very quickly, within the span of one night really, we came to love each other, and spoke of marriage. I wanted to marry her, want to marry her, rather, "I corrected myself, letting my head loll, falling forward as I looked upon the ground, "but one err in my judgment... I cheated on her," I whispered softly, "and then confessed to it, and broke her heart, utterly broke her heart, and broke my own too. She has left now, travelling, to find herself, to see if she really wants to be with me, to be here, and has released me from any promises I had formerly made," I took a deep breath. I thought I would feel better recounting the tale, but I did not, I only felt worse. "And I feel as though my heart has been ripped from me. But that she will return, and if she does return, return to me, is highly unlikely, and I am willed to hold out hope, but at the same time, I know how doing something like that can fester in a person, make them cruel and unyielding, and I do not wish to be like that either... and I do not think that she would like that either. I do not know what to do. Do I move on? And if so, how?"
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on May 12, 2010 14:47:05 GMT -5
I listened carefully, both to what he said, and to what he didn't say. His body language said he was feeling far beyond guilty, and his words only backed that up.
As I sat there before him, I reached up and gently raised his chin, so I could look at his eyes. I didn't need to read what was in them to believe that what he had told me was true, but it surely wasn't helping him to be like that.
A soft smile graced my face as I looked up at him, and my voice was gentle when I answered him, "We are all d'Angelline, my lord, and though we might have divine grace flowing through our veins, we are but human. No one man, woman, or child on this Earth is without flaw, and we all make mistakes. I have faith that your lady will understand this, given time to think."
I smiled again, and the hand that had been lifting his chin now crept up so that my palm now cupped his cheek. "Have faith, my lord. Love as thou wilt was the greatest of Blessed Elua's teachings. Hold fast to that belief, hold fast to the hope you feel. It is said that if you love something, you must let it go. Be glad you did tell your lady. She needs a chance to remember how you feel about each other. Try to be patient. Am I wrong in saying that you would request the same of her, were your roles reversed?"
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on May 12, 2010 15:32:17 GMT -5
Her words fo wisdom were words that I had told myself, but hearing them from another's lips, from someone who I could defer to as being far wiser in these things, and most likely far nobler than I. I smiled, if weakly, at least it was a real smile.
"You are right. You are absolutely right I would need time as well... but she has released me from her, and I wonder what she might be doing abroad... and... I think," I lokoed up at her then, into her eyes, really looked at her, sharing my confidence with her, "I think that... a part of me hates the part of me that wants to be free, that is happy to have a chance to be sure I am not running into this without thinking," I let my head sink then, my ahnds coming up to grasp my locks fitfully, as if renting my hair from my head would make the matter that much easier to deal with. "And then I feel even more guilty. I am divided. I am so sorely divided," I murmured.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on May 12, 2010 15:41:39 GMT -5
I nodded, "I cannot imagine how hard it must be, to feel so divided within oneself." I smiled slightly when he looked up at me, "Each person can only live their own life, my lord. Each can only make decisions for themself." When his head feel forward again, and he grasped his hair, I laid gentle hands over his, "Happiness is too precious to let it wither away beneath a mountain of guilt, my lord. You must forgive yourself, and only you can decide to do so."
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on May 16, 2010 13:36:46 GMT -5
My grip relaxed under her light touch, and I did not pull away, though I thought that I would have recoiled at the touch of a woman who was not Marie, even if the touch was naught but to comfort.
"I know what you say is true," I whispered, my voice hoarse with emotion, "but I cannot live my own life knowing that the decisions I make for myself can also hurt others. I am not a bad man, I am a noble one, and that I caused someone I loved pain with my own actions..." I shook my head. "It seems the only way for me to be blameless is if I never gain close relationships, then I have no worry of hurting anyone, ever," I murmured softly. "And... I do not want the guilt but... what if?" I whispered, looking up at her now, "what if it is the only thing that is stopping me from moving on, from finding another love, from abandoning her again? What if the guilt is what I need to wait for her return?" I asked. I knew I sounded desperate, and in my ears, pathetic, but I was being honest. If I wanted help, if I wanted respite, I would have to open up my heart and spill its contents, regardless of how it made me sound or made me feel.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on May 19, 2010 12:20:27 GMT -5
I felt him relax, and thought it a good thing. His obvious pain was heartwrenching to see. I only hoped my words were getting through to him, helping him.
"You cannot live backwards, my lord. You can only go into the future, and try to learn from the mistakes that have been made. And closing off one's heart is the worst thing anyone could do. The game of 'what if' will only take you in circles until you're dizzy. Please," I squeezed his hand, keeping my voice soft, "The best thing you can do, to help both yourself and your lady, is to forgive yourself, and know that you are only human."
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on May 19, 2010 13:52:18 GMT -5
I could tell that she truly felt for my plight, her words and tone were soothingand made a great deal of sense. It seems I was just seekign someone, anyone to give me permission to feel the way I did, but the truth was that I could not help it, anymore than anyone else could. It was how I felt, and I needed to accept that, and if anyone wanted to be with me, or carry on with me in any way, they would have to accept that of me too, faults and all. I nodded to show that I understood waht she said, and felt like a weight had been liften, not entirely, no, but a great deal of it.
"You are right," I said softly as I looked up at her, smiling, a genuine one. "You are absolutely right. I think maybe, I need to find myself, and be sure of myself before I bring anyone else into a life to be shared with me," I said, the clouds in my mind slowly moving away to see more clearly. "For if I do not know myself, and cannot accept myself, then who am I to ask someone else to do what I cannot?"
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on May 19, 2010 17:11:47 GMT -5
I smiled again, in response to his smile. And I could tell, by the sound of his voice, that I had helped. And I was glad. I nodded when he spoke, and squeezed his hand again, "Yes, my lord, exactly."
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on May 20, 2010 9:12:56 GMT -5
"Thank you for all your help," I said with a smile. "I have a lot of work to do, and a long way to go, but at least now I know what needs to be done," I reached forward, my hands cupping one of hers as I shook it gently, clasping it. "Thank you so much. You have been a great help to me, to my mind, how can I repay you?" I asked.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on May 23, 2010 11:16:27 GMT -5
I smiled, so glad that my words had been able to help him., and I said so. "I'm here to help any who need it, my lord, and glad to do it." I shook my head when he asked how to repay me, "There is no need at all for repayment. It is enough for me, to see you smile and hear that I was able to help. A prayer of thanks to my Lady would be welcome, though."
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Maurice de Bouchard
Aristocrat
House Bouchard
Son of Duc Lazare Bouchard (Deceased), step-son of the Duchesse Marie Laveau de Bouchard
Posts: 459
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Post by Maurice de Bouchard on May 24, 2010 5:54:26 GMT -5
I nodded heartily and smiled. "I will be sure to do that. Thank you so much my lady priestes.... by the way... my name is Maurice... Maurice de Bouchard. I thought you ought to know the name of the name you so magnificently helped today," I grinned again, feeling much lighter.
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Aimée Demarais (I)
Inactive
Priestess of Eisheth- Cousin of the Lady of Marsilikos
Posts: 79
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Post by Aimée Demarais (I) on Jun 30, 2010 11:26:13 GMT -5
I smiled, well pleased that he was able to do the same. I sincerely hoped my words had helped him. "It was my honor to be able to help you, Messire Bouchard. And I'm very glad I could."
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