Post by Bryanna Rose Arceneau on Mar 18, 2010 16:59:58 GMT -5
"Michel, I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to. Bryanna needs you to."
I recognized Lisbeth's voice immediately, and upon hearing my own name I stopped short. I was in the garden, below the window to the rooms I shared with my father. It was a bit chilly, being winter, but he obviously had the window open for some reason, since I could hear their voices clearly. I knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop, but I couldn't seem to help myself.
"Lisbeth, I know you're trying to help, but we've been over this half a hundred times already. I won't force her to do what she doesn't wish to, and I won't send her away. How can you even ask me to?"
Send me away? I felt the familiar knot of fear cramp my stomach and my breath felt as if it were nowhere to be found. I had not been outside of the sanctuary in thirteen years, not since my mother's death. The very thought of it filled me with dread.
"Michel, you must know how unhealthy it is for her to remain here, hiding from the world. This is a very prestigious assignment she's being offered, one that other girls her age would be envious of! The fact that it's even being held out to her is a testament to how strong Naamah's gift is in her. It would be a terrible waste for to live out her life here in the Sanctuary."
"I understand, Lisbeth, I do, but how can I force her? You've seen the way she was when we first tried to take her out. How she cried and shook ... I can't bear it!"
I had never heard that note of anguish in his voice before, and I felt tears wet my cheeks. I hadn't known my fears affected him so much, hurt him that way.
"It's not just her, Michel. You haven't left in almost as long and your talents are needed. The situation in Marsilikos that I was telling you about is getting out of hand and they've requested you specifically."
I didn't hear what my father said after that because I didn't want to - instead I took off for one of my favorite haunts - the roof above the kitchen. It was flat there and easy to get to if one didn't mind climbing trees.
I might have stayed there all night, but soon after dusk there was a rustling in the trees and Lisbeth was soon sitting beside me.
"I though I might find you here," she said, putting an arm around me. "Your father is worried over you."
I didn't respond at first, then said, "You're sending me away." She sighed and shook her head.
"No, Nonni, but we do have an assignment for you, if you'll take it." She handed me a scroll, which I read slowly. It wasn't far, still here in the City, and for that I was grateful.
I didn't want to go, more than anything, but I kept thinking about the anguish in my father's voice. All of these years, he had worried over me, cared for me, loved me unconditionally. And I had repaid him by causing him pain.
"When?" I asked, and Lisbeth smiled softly.
"Tomorrow. I know it isn't much time, but though you don't know it, you've been ready for this for a long time."
************
The next day saw my trunk packed, me in my best dress, and my father holding my hand tightly, looking at me with concern in his eyes.
"Are you sure, Nonni? You don't have to do this, they can send someone else."
Naamah, how I wanted to take him up on that! The very thought of leaving these walls set my heart to beating violently and my mouth ran dry with fear. But I simply shook my head and plastered a smile on my face.
"I'm sure, father. Lisbeth is right, this is a wonderful opportunity, one that I can't turn down. And it's time that I saw more of the world, don't you think?" He looked so relieved, so proud ... it gave me a resolve I had not thought that I possessed. "Besides, I'll only be at the Palace, it isn't as if I am going very far."
It was time, and I watched my things, such as they were, being loaded onto the carriage, and I balked at the thought of riding away from my home. Lisbeth must have noticed, for she said something to the driver, who nodded and drove away just as she took my arm.
"Let's walk, it's not far." She said, and we took our leave of my father, who watched me as if I were a babe, toddling for the first time. "It will be all right, Nonni," she said in a soothing tone. "We all love you, you know, and we would never do anything to hurt you. Trust me."
I did trust her, I reflected, and it made it easier. Every step away from the Sanctuary sent a lance of fear straight to my heart, but I kept going, putting one foot in front of the other, guided by Lisbeth and somewhat distracted by her animated chatter, which I imagine was her intent.
In due course we reached the Palace and Lisbeth turned me over to a stern faced woman who promised to show me about and help me get settled. Lisbeth hugged me then, harder than she ever had before.
"Nonni," she whispered, "You carry Naamah's grace with you, if you'll only allow yourself to feel it. I know you will be great, when you finally take flight."
Naamah's grace... why couldn't I feel it?
I recognized Lisbeth's voice immediately, and upon hearing my own name I stopped short. I was in the garden, below the window to the rooms I shared with my father. It was a bit chilly, being winter, but he obviously had the window open for some reason, since I could hear their voices clearly. I knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop, but I couldn't seem to help myself.
"Lisbeth, I know you're trying to help, but we've been over this half a hundred times already. I won't force her to do what she doesn't wish to, and I won't send her away. How can you even ask me to?"
Send me away? I felt the familiar knot of fear cramp my stomach and my breath felt as if it were nowhere to be found. I had not been outside of the sanctuary in thirteen years, not since my mother's death. The very thought of it filled me with dread.
"Michel, you must know how unhealthy it is for her to remain here, hiding from the world. This is a very prestigious assignment she's being offered, one that other girls her age would be envious of! The fact that it's even being held out to her is a testament to how strong Naamah's gift is in her. It would be a terrible waste for to live out her life here in the Sanctuary."
"I understand, Lisbeth, I do, but how can I force her? You've seen the way she was when we first tried to take her out. How she cried and shook ... I can't bear it!"
I had never heard that note of anguish in his voice before, and I felt tears wet my cheeks. I hadn't known my fears affected him so much, hurt him that way.
"It's not just her, Michel. You haven't left in almost as long and your talents are needed. The situation in Marsilikos that I was telling you about is getting out of hand and they've requested you specifically."
I didn't hear what my father said after that because I didn't want to - instead I took off for one of my favorite haunts - the roof above the kitchen. It was flat there and easy to get to if one didn't mind climbing trees.
I might have stayed there all night, but soon after dusk there was a rustling in the trees and Lisbeth was soon sitting beside me.
"I though I might find you here," she said, putting an arm around me. "Your father is worried over you."
I didn't respond at first, then said, "You're sending me away." She sighed and shook her head.
"No, Nonni, but we do have an assignment for you, if you'll take it." She handed me a scroll, which I read slowly. It wasn't far, still here in the City, and for that I was grateful.
I didn't want to go, more than anything, but I kept thinking about the anguish in my father's voice. All of these years, he had worried over me, cared for me, loved me unconditionally. And I had repaid him by causing him pain.
"When?" I asked, and Lisbeth smiled softly.
"Tomorrow. I know it isn't much time, but though you don't know it, you've been ready for this for a long time."
************
The next day saw my trunk packed, me in my best dress, and my father holding my hand tightly, looking at me with concern in his eyes.
"Are you sure, Nonni? You don't have to do this, they can send someone else."
Naamah, how I wanted to take him up on that! The very thought of leaving these walls set my heart to beating violently and my mouth ran dry with fear. But I simply shook my head and plastered a smile on my face.
"I'm sure, father. Lisbeth is right, this is a wonderful opportunity, one that I can't turn down. And it's time that I saw more of the world, don't you think?" He looked so relieved, so proud ... it gave me a resolve I had not thought that I possessed. "Besides, I'll only be at the Palace, it isn't as if I am going very far."
It was time, and I watched my things, such as they were, being loaded onto the carriage, and I balked at the thought of riding away from my home. Lisbeth must have noticed, for she said something to the driver, who nodded and drove away just as she took my arm.
"Let's walk, it's not far." She said, and we took our leave of my father, who watched me as if I were a babe, toddling for the first time. "It will be all right, Nonni," she said in a soothing tone. "We all love you, you know, and we would never do anything to hurt you. Trust me."
I did trust her, I reflected, and it made it easier. Every step away from the Sanctuary sent a lance of fear straight to my heart, but I kept going, putting one foot in front of the other, guided by Lisbeth and somewhat distracted by her animated chatter, which I imagine was her intent.
In due course we reached the Palace and Lisbeth turned me over to a stern faced woman who promised to show me about and help me get settled. Lisbeth hugged me then, harder than she ever had before.
"Nonni," she whispered, "You carry Naamah's grace with you, if you'll only allow yourself to feel it. I know you will be great, when you finally take flight."
Naamah's grace... why couldn't I feel it?