Post by Cannelle nó Heliotrope on Jan 10, 2010 15:09:45 GMT -5
A page from Dahlia arrived poste haste to Heliotrope and spoke of my need of urgancy to return to his house with him. I begged my leave from the Dowayne after the page boy told me that my mother was ill.
Quickly we arrived at the House of Dahlia and I was taken to my mother's room. The moment the door flung open I could tell that it was not good. There was a chirurgeon as well as a group of women taking care of her. Her moans and whimpers drifted through the room as I ran to her side.
"Mama!" I cried out as I fell to her side.
"Oh my love." She murmured and stroked her hand over my head like she used to when I was a little girl. The look on her face, the look of the others, it was more then obvious that things where not good.
"Mama, what's wrong?" I begged as tears began to fall, her face looked pained, tears and sweat streaking her lovely face.
"Cannelle, my sweet daughter, have I ever told you how proud of you I am." She whispered as her hand continued to stroke over my head. My hands gripped her other hand, holding on as I knelt by her side. I dropped my head at her words pressing my forehead to her hand.
"Mama." I breathed softly before my head snapped back and I angerily looked at the chirurgeon.
"What's wrong with her?" I asked, my jaw set in a tight line.
"I'm... not sure, she has a severe pain in her right side, a fever, nausea, vomiting..." He trailed off. "What ever it is... its too late, she's been ill for a few days." He looked pained and saddened, but I couldn't care less.
"Now its a matter of making her comforting her." I simply shook my head and looked back to my mother.
"Mama?" I furrowed my brows, as if she would tell me that it was some lie, or a game.
"I didn't want to worry any one." She whispered before closing her eyes and moaning in pain. I shook my head again.
"Mama." I whimpered a sob as I reached up and brushed her brow. "Can you give her something for the pain?" I asked as tears flowed from my eyes.
"We already have." One of the woman said softly. I sobbed harder after that, hanging my head and pressed it against her.
"Mama." I said again as I looked at her.
"Cannelle." She said, opening her eyes to look at me. "Theres something I must tell you." I nodded and she looked to one of the other woman, giving her a long look. I didn't look away but heard the rustle of people leaving behind me. They all filtered out until only my mother and I were left. For a long moment all she did was look at me, tears in her eyes.
"My sweet Cannelle," She said softly. "I was so blessed when I found out that I was pregnant with you, it was the best day of my life."
"Mama please, don't talk, conserve your strength." She only shook her head, setting her face to firmness.
"You must know this," She said softly, her voice faltering a little. She took a moment, a breath, before looking at you.
"Cannelle, sweet Cannelle, I have a confession." She seemed to cry harder, there was a pain in her face, but not the kind that one has from physical pain. This was deeper.
"What is it Mama?" I asked, furrowing my brows a little.
"When I met Franscois I was... so happy, happier then I thought I would be." She smiled. "He was such a good man, and I loved him, I did." I was truly confused now.
"Mama...what... why are you talking about this?" I asked with concern.
"Did I ever tell you how you got your name?" She asked; she wasn't making sense.
"Because... because of my hair." I replied, tears still falling and she chuckled a little.
"Partly," She murmured gently as she stroked my hair. "The day I concieved you was a day I'll never forget, I remember the moment so well. I was pressed against a brick wall in an alley way." She chuckled and I couldn't help but smile.
"He was so handsome, your father, exotic almost from my eyes; charming like no one I had ever met. He just had this way about him, the way he smiled made him look dangerous." As she spoke my head worked over other conversations I had had with her about Franscois, my father, but never, not once had she ever described him in such a manner. It was almost like she was speaking about some one else.
"We met at Midwinter and in one dance I knew I loved him, I lusted for him, the way he looked at me, the look in his eyes. It made my heart and stomach burn in unison." Now I was even more confused.
"Mama," I said softly. "The pain must be so much, you're not making sense, you didn't meet father at Midwinter." She looked at me with that knowing look and smiled.
"Cannelle, my sweet spice. Thats what I named you for, that spice of life, aromatic and wild, an exotic aphrodisiac." I had to smile a little; I had never really enjoyed my name, but the way she talked about it, the more I felt a change within its meaning.
"It was your father that inspired that." She whinced and doubled over a little. I moved, crawling into the bed to lay next to her, cuddling up next to her and held tight.
"What are you talking about?" I asked softly, my skin tightening with the feeling of drying salt tears on my cheeks.
For moments all she did was twist back and forth in pain, moaning and groaning until the pain seemed to subside and she looked at me.
"Would you sleep next to me?" She asked and I nodded, closing my eyes, I wasn't going to sleep, but I wanted to appease her. We nestled into each other and before long my mother's breathing evened out.
When I opened my eyes next I realized that I had indeed fallen sleep, but when I looked over and saw my mother looking so peaceful I decided that it wasn't so bad. I looked passed her to her bedside table to see a letter with my name written on it and I furrowed my brows in confusion before looking back to my mother.
"Mama?" I asked looking at her. "Mama?" I reached over to rock her gently. Her skin felt cold to the touch and I moved to gather the quilt; make her warmer. Her fever must have abatted for when I felt her forehead it was cold and clammy.
"Mama?" I asked again, my brows furrowed, trying to wake her a little more. She didn't wake so I pressed myself against her again, my hand moving to her stomach. Thats when I realized that she wasn't breathing.
"Mama?" I said more anxiously as I jolted up in my place to look at her.
"Mama?!" I shook her body and she didn't move. Panicking I flew from the bed and to the hall way.
"Help, help, she's not breathing!" I cried out, tears streaming as the realization that she was dead began to seep into my skin. It was one of the women, a healer, that came first; rushing past me to my mother's side. I simply sank to my knees and sobbed, wailed.
"I'm sorry," I heard from behind me. "She has passed into Terre d'Ange-that-lies-beyond." I cried harder, slumping to the floor and balled up my fists and began to pound them against the floor.
"No! No, no, no, no!!!" I screamed. I heared people moving around me but paid no notice; there was talking as well, about moving 'the body' and what to do next.
"Don't you touch her!" I screamed as I moved from where I was, slowly standing and faltering as I did.
"Don't you touch her!" My mind was a wash in all things but all I could think about was not letting them take her. Before I knew it there were hands at me, guiding me even though I twisted and struggled to get away; weakly. They managed to move me to a seat and I sat down with a thump before bending over and cried into my hands.
"Love?" I heard the voice of a woman. "We've called for a Priest of Elua, would you like to say good bye to her before me move her?" Her voice was soft and sweet and it made me feel less like I was falling into a dark hole.
"Yes." I said, stilling my tears for a moment and rose, moving to her side. I leant in and kissed her cheek gently, her skin so cold.
"Good bye Mama." I said softly, my eyes closing as I said a silent prayer. As I moved backward I saw the letter by her bed, a simple folded parchment with my name hastily written on it and ink stains where her fingers had touched the wet ink and then touched paper. I picked it up as I pulled back watching the others around me come forward to deal with...with her body. I didn't read the letter, not yet, I needed to focus on the now.
Quickly we arrived at the House of Dahlia and I was taken to my mother's room. The moment the door flung open I could tell that it was not good. There was a chirurgeon as well as a group of women taking care of her. Her moans and whimpers drifted through the room as I ran to her side.
"Mama!" I cried out as I fell to her side.
"Oh my love." She murmured and stroked her hand over my head like she used to when I was a little girl. The look on her face, the look of the others, it was more then obvious that things where not good.
"Mama, what's wrong?" I begged as tears began to fall, her face looked pained, tears and sweat streaking her lovely face.
"Cannelle, my sweet daughter, have I ever told you how proud of you I am." She whispered as her hand continued to stroke over my head. My hands gripped her other hand, holding on as I knelt by her side. I dropped my head at her words pressing my forehead to her hand.
"Mama." I breathed softly before my head snapped back and I angerily looked at the chirurgeon.
"What's wrong with her?" I asked, my jaw set in a tight line.
"I'm... not sure, she has a severe pain in her right side, a fever, nausea, vomiting..." He trailed off. "What ever it is... its too late, she's been ill for a few days." He looked pained and saddened, but I couldn't care less.
"Now its a matter of making her comforting her." I simply shook my head and looked back to my mother.
"Mama?" I furrowed my brows, as if she would tell me that it was some lie, or a game.
"I didn't want to worry any one." She whispered before closing her eyes and moaning in pain. I shook my head again.
"Mama." I whimpered a sob as I reached up and brushed her brow. "Can you give her something for the pain?" I asked as tears flowed from my eyes.
"We already have." One of the woman said softly. I sobbed harder after that, hanging my head and pressed it against her.
"Mama." I said again as I looked at her.
"Cannelle." She said, opening her eyes to look at me. "Theres something I must tell you." I nodded and she looked to one of the other woman, giving her a long look. I didn't look away but heard the rustle of people leaving behind me. They all filtered out until only my mother and I were left. For a long moment all she did was look at me, tears in her eyes.
"My sweet Cannelle," She said softly. "I was so blessed when I found out that I was pregnant with you, it was the best day of my life."
"Mama please, don't talk, conserve your strength." She only shook her head, setting her face to firmness.
"You must know this," She said softly, her voice faltering a little. She took a moment, a breath, before looking at you.
"Cannelle, sweet Cannelle, I have a confession." She seemed to cry harder, there was a pain in her face, but not the kind that one has from physical pain. This was deeper.
"What is it Mama?" I asked, furrowing my brows a little.
"When I met Franscois I was... so happy, happier then I thought I would be." She smiled. "He was such a good man, and I loved him, I did." I was truly confused now.
"Mama...what... why are you talking about this?" I asked with concern.
"Did I ever tell you how you got your name?" She asked; she wasn't making sense.
"Because... because of my hair." I replied, tears still falling and she chuckled a little.
"Partly," She murmured gently as she stroked my hair. "The day I concieved you was a day I'll never forget, I remember the moment so well. I was pressed against a brick wall in an alley way." She chuckled and I couldn't help but smile.
"He was so handsome, your father, exotic almost from my eyes; charming like no one I had ever met. He just had this way about him, the way he smiled made him look dangerous." As she spoke my head worked over other conversations I had had with her about Franscois, my father, but never, not once had she ever described him in such a manner. It was almost like she was speaking about some one else.
"We met at Midwinter and in one dance I knew I loved him, I lusted for him, the way he looked at me, the look in his eyes. It made my heart and stomach burn in unison." Now I was even more confused.
"Mama," I said softly. "The pain must be so much, you're not making sense, you didn't meet father at Midwinter." She looked at me with that knowing look and smiled.
"Cannelle, my sweet spice. Thats what I named you for, that spice of life, aromatic and wild, an exotic aphrodisiac." I had to smile a little; I had never really enjoyed my name, but the way she talked about it, the more I felt a change within its meaning.
"It was your father that inspired that." She whinced and doubled over a little. I moved, crawling into the bed to lay next to her, cuddling up next to her and held tight.
"What are you talking about?" I asked softly, my skin tightening with the feeling of drying salt tears on my cheeks.
For moments all she did was twist back and forth in pain, moaning and groaning until the pain seemed to subside and she looked at me.
"Would you sleep next to me?" She asked and I nodded, closing my eyes, I wasn't going to sleep, but I wanted to appease her. We nestled into each other and before long my mother's breathing evened out.
When I opened my eyes next I realized that I had indeed fallen sleep, but when I looked over and saw my mother looking so peaceful I decided that it wasn't so bad. I looked passed her to her bedside table to see a letter with my name written on it and I furrowed my brows in confusion before looking back to my mother.
"Mama?" I asked looking at her. "Mama?" I reached over to rock her gently. Her skin felt cold to the touch and I moved to gather the quilt; make her warmer. Her fever must have abatted for when I felt her forehead it was cold and clammy.
"Mama?" I asked again, my brows furrowed, trying to wake her a little more. She didn't wake so I pressed myself against her again, my hand moving to her stomach. Thats when I realized that she wasn't breathing.
"Mama?" I said more anxiously as I jolted up in my place to look at her.
"Mama?!" I shook her body and she didn't move. Panicking I flew from the bed and to the hall way.
"Help, help, she's not breathing!" I cried out, tears streaming as the realization that she was dead began to seep into my skin. It was one of the women, a healer, that came first; rushing past me to my mother's side. I simply sank to my knees and sobbed, wailed.
"I'm sorry," I heard from behind me. "She has passed into Terre d'Ange-that-lies-beyond." I cried harder, slumping to the floor and balled up my fists and began to pound them against the floor.
"No! No, no, no, no!!!" I screamed. I heared people moving around me but paid no notice; there was talking as well, about moving 'the body' and what to do next.
"Don't you touch her!" I screamed as I moved from where I was, slowly standing and faltering as I did.
"Don't you touch her!" My mind was a wash in all things but all I could think about was not letting them take her. Before I knew it there were hands at me, guiding me even though I twisted and struggled to get away; weakly. They managed to move me to a seat and I sat down with a thump before bending over and cried into my hands.
"Love?" I heard the voice of a woman. "We've called for a Priest of Elua, would you like to say good bye to her before me move her?" Her voice was soft and sweet and it made me feel less like I was falling into a dark hole.
"Yes." I said, stilling my tears for a moment and rose, moving to her side. I leant in and kissed her cheek gently, her skin so cold.
"Good bye Mama." I said softly, my eyes closing as I said a silent prayer. As I moved backward I saw the letter by her bed, a simple folded parchment with my name hastily written on it and ink stains where her fingers had touched the wet ink and then touched paper. I picked it up as I pulled back watching the others around me come forward to deal with...with her body. I didn't read the letter, not yet, I needed to focus on the now.