Post by Naia Shahrizai on Dec 10, 2009 14:04:58 GMT -5
I kept thinking about what Therin had said … that Sarielle could have given me something for my own. The unfairness of it gnawed at me, and relations between my sister and I were more strained than they had ever been. It didn’t help having the other Shahrizai in the house, either. Not that I had seen much of Erie and Eros lately; they had no problem fitting in here in the City and had seemed to find their own circle of friends. And then there was Gadleon, whose very presence only served to remind me of one more thing that Sarielle had that I did not.
It all came to a head that afternoon … over a brooch, of all things. I had once again gone to Sarielle’s closet to borrow a dress, but instead I had found a lovely diamond and sapphire pin on her nightstand. I didn’t remember seeing her wear it before, but it still seemed familiar. With a painful start, I realized that it had been our mother’s. I had taken the brooch and pinned it to my own dress and gone on my way. After all, why should only Sarielle have something of mother’s?
Later, in the library, Sarielle appeared to say something about Gadleon stopping by later and I had made some flippant comment. I could tell by her voice that I had irritated her and I turned around to smirk and that was when her eyes had fallen upon the brooch. I watched them narrow and then two spots of color rose on the porcelain skin of her cheeks.
“Naia, did you take that from my room?” She asked, her tone even, but cold. I felt suddenly like a small child who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. I didn’t like the feeling.
“I only borrowed it,” I said, crossing my arms under my breasts and staring at her insolently.
“Taking someone’s things without asking is called ‘stealing’, actually.” Sarielle responded, crossing her own arms in a similar fashion. “And to be honest, I am growing a bit tired of it.”
I felt my anger rising at her words and my words burst forth without thought. “Oh, your tired of it? How do you think I feel? You disappeared for years and yet when father died, you got everything! The estate, what money there is, and apparently mother’s jewelry as well. I endure eighteen years of misery and abuse, and for what? The clothes on my back and my horse? Which probably technically belongs to you as well!”
Sarielle looked taken aback, which was satisfying, but only for a moment. “Is that what you want? Money? The estate?” She looked almost bewildered at this point. “All of the fighting, your attitude, is that what it really boils down to?”
Of course not, not really, but I didn’t know how to articulate the overwhelming sense of abandonment I felt, and so I only continued to push her. “Oh, you say it like you’re so surprised, but then I suppose it’s easy for you to overlook. As the person who gets everything, why should it ever cross your mind that you have a sister who gets nothing and has to live off of your charity?”
Sarielle’s face became impassive, a sure sign that she was angry. “My charity, as you call it, was offered because I care about you and wanted to get to know you again, not out of obligation. And you have done nothing but throw it back in my face and take every opportunity to hurt me. I don’t believe that all of your anger is about money, but I honestly do not know what I have ever done that could cause you to hate me the way you do. Until you’re ready to get past it, however, I don’t think you should continue to stay here. When you are ready to grow up and deal with me as an adult, then you will be welcome back. Until then, I will provide you with an allowance that should be sufficient for your needs.”
I was so stunned, all I could do was stare at her. She was throwing me out of the house? Abandoning me all over again? The pain and anger was so much that I could not even speak, only clench my fists and think about throwing things.
“I expect you to leave my brooch, and anything else you have that belongs to me.” She gave me one last, long, searching look, and then said softly. “I do love you, Naia, whatever you may believe.” Then she was gone, with me staring after her in shock.
It all came to a head that afternoon … over a brooch, of all things. I had once again gone to Sarielle’s closet to borrow a dress, but instead I had found a lovely diamond and sapphire pin on her nightstand. I didn’t remember seeing her wear it before, but it still seemed familiar. With a painful start, I realized that it had been our mother’s. I had taken the brooch and pinned it to my own dress and gone on my way. After all, why should only Sarielle have something of mother’s?
Later, in the library, Sarielle appeared to say something about Gadleon stopping by later and I had made some flippant comment. I could tell by her voice that I had irritated her and I turned around to smirk and that was when her eyes had fallen upon the brooch. I watched them narrow and then two spots of color rose on the porcelain skin of her cheeks.
“Naia, did you take that from my room?” She asked, her tone even, but cold. I felt suddenly like a small child who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. I didn’t like the feeling.
“I only borrowed it,” I said, crossing my arms under my breasts and staring at her insolently.
“Taking someone’s things without asking is called ‘stealing’, actually.” Sarielle responded, crossing her own arms in a similar fashion. “And to be honest, I am growing a bit tired of it.”
I felt my anger rising at her words and my words burst forth without thought. “Oh, your tired of it? How do you think I feel? You disappeared for years and yet when father died, you got everything! The estate, what money there is, and apparently mother’s jewelry as well. I endure eighteen years of misery and abuse, and for what? The clothes on my back and my horse? Which probably technically belongs to you as well!”
Sarielle looked taken aback, which was satisfying, but only for a moment. “Is that what you want? Money? The estate?” She looked almost bewildered at this point. “All of the fighting, your attitude, is that what it really boils down to?”
Of course not, not really, but I didn’t know how to articulate the overwhelming sense of abandonment I felt, and so I only continued to push her. “Oh, you say it like you’re so surprised, but then I suppose it’s easy for you to overlook. As the person who gets everything, why should it ever cross your mind that you have a sister who gets nothing and has to live off of your charity?”
Sarielle’s face became impassive, a sure sign that she was angry. “My charity, as you call it, was offered because I care about you and wanted to get to know you again, not out of obligation. And you have done nothing but throw it back in my face and take every opportunity to hurt me. I don’t believe that all of your anger is about money, but I honestly do not know what I have ever done that could cause you to hate me the way you do. Until you’re ready to get past it, however, I don’t think you should continue to stay here. When you are ready to grow up and deal with me as an adult, then you will be welcome back. Until then, I will provide you with an allowance that should be sufficient for your needs.”
I was so stunned, all I could do was stare at her. She was throwing me out of the house? Abandoning me all over again? The pain and anger was so much that I could not even speak, only clench my fists and think about throwing things.
“I expect you to leave my brooch, and anything else you have that belongs to me.” She gave me one last, long, searching look, and then said softly. “I do love you, Naia, whatever you may believe.” Then she was gone, with me staring after her in shock.