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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 18, 2009 0:21:23 GMT -5
It had been a few days since I had spoken with Naia, within that time I had met with the exchequer and spoken to different people. I met with those that dealt with title, purchasing land, and selling town houses, everything I needed to do to start my life here. The last person I had to speak with Lilli, to explain to her what was happening; I walked to her door and knocked. "Lilli, its Azriel, can I come in?" I called through the door.
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Lillianne Prévost
Aristocrat
Future Duchesse de Moulins; Ward of Azriel Shahrizai
Daughter of G?rard and Nicole Pr?vost
Posts: 1,148
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Post by Lillianne Prévost on Nov 18, 2009 13:33:36 GMT -5
I was in my room, once more lying on my bed with my Ruskovian homework spread about me. I had to study in my room now if I actually wanted to get anything done. If I tried to work in the library, Maric usually found me and I became rather deliciously distracted.
But when my uncle knocked on my door, my mouth thinned. "Yes," I replied, though it was reluctant. We hadn't spoken since his announcement of his imminent departure.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 18, 2009 13:40:02 GMT -5
She sounded angry, well I couldn't blame her, taking a deep breath I turned the knob and entered into her room to find her on her bed with her lesson work. "I need to speak with you." I said as I reached her. "Its about my... departure." I clasped my hands behind my back and took a breath.
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Lillianne Prévost
Aristocrat
Future Duchesse de Moulins; Ward of Azriel Shahrizai
Daughter of G?rard and Nicole Pr?vost
Posts: 1,148
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Post by Lillianne Prévost on Nov 18, 2009 16:39:09 GMT -5
I sat up and carefully began to gather my papers together. I didn't look at him as I moved. "Alright."
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 19, 2009 0:24:00 GMT -5
I felt awkward and wasn't sure how to handle this, I decided I needed to sit, so I pulled a chair up to the bed and sat. "Look, the other night at Sarielle's....it didn't go well." She didn't look at me but I kept looking at her, hoping she would eventually look in my direction. "It just reminded me of why I've stayed away from the City, Marsilikos has very few Shahrizai and it was far away from all the anger, all the pain that the city represented." I took another breath, trying to still my nervous beating heart. "I don't know how to treat you Lilli, you're not my daughter, you're not a child, you're not a grown up either, and this situation, living here, it makes me remember even more of the pain that's still here for me." I paused once more. "But you were right, what you said before, I can't run from myself. So I'm not. I've decided to stay and do what my father had planned to do when he was still alive. I've spoken to my estate in Kusheth and it just so happens that there is an small estate next to mine that wants me to buy them out. I'm going to increase my lands there and use the rest of the money I have to buy myself a title. But I've decided that I can't stay in this house with you Lilli, you need some sort of freedom, you need the ability to make your own decisions, to have a life without me being right there. That being said, I can't leave the city and know you're here alone, knowing that I can't be there if you really do need me; so I'm buying a town house in the east borough so that I'm only a carriage ride away. I know that this isn't going to make things better, or fix what I've done by telling you that I was leaving, but I hope its a start."
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Lillianne Prévost
Aristocrat
Future Duchesse de Moulins; Ward of Azriel Shahrizai
Daughter of G?rard and Nicole Pr?vost
Posts: 1,148
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Post by Lillianne Prévost on Nov 20, 2009 11:56:09 GMT -5
There was so much I could have said. I looked at him, sitting there with such intent eyes, meaning what he said. I was still mad at him, the hurt he had caused had gone too deep to be repaired in an instant. But at least he acknowledged that, it was something.
There was so much I could have said that I didn't know what to say. So instead I asked a question I didn't know the answer to. "What made you change your mind?" I asked, knowing it hadn't been me. I had hurt his pride to greatly for it to have been me.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 20, 2009 16:22:06 GMT -5
It was a better response then I could have hoped for, and it gave me a little happiness to think that perhaps I could fix this after all, that I could make it up to her. "Naia actually," I replied. "I... I went to Valerian House," I didn't want to admit it to her, but if she wanted me to stop hiding things from her she would have to accept the truth. "I was drunk and I went because there was an auction. I saw her there and instead of staying we left and walked around while I sobered up and then went to dinner." I wasn't sure if she wanted to know all of this, but I figured I'd better tell her everything. "Anyway, we started talking about me leaving, and her coming to the City, and things with her family... and I just realized how hurt she was, how much she needs to have people around her that care enough to stay, to not be selfish and set some sort of example. In talking to her I realized that I saw myself in her and how hurt I had been and how damaged I had felt that no one seemed to stand up for me after my parents died." I took a breath. "Then it suddenly occurred to me what I would be putting you through if I left, I realized that you'd been right about running away, that I was being selfish, and that if I left I'd be a hypocrite. But more importantly I'd be hurting you and thats not fair of me. You deserve more then that, you deserve some one to be there for you, and I don't want you ending up like Naia. You're a good young lady, and yes, I fear that you'll be led astray, but thats because I know what boys are like. I do trust you, and I do want you to be able to trust me too."
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Lillianne Prévost
Aristocrat
Future Duchesse de Moulins; Ward of Azriel Shahrizai
Daughter of G?rard and Nicole Pr?vost
Posts: 1,148
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Post by Lillianne Prévost on Nov 20, 2009 16:52:54 GMT -5
I drew in a deep breath, shuddering a little as I struggled to keep in the angry tears that I had sprung to my eyes.
"How can I trust you now Azriel?" I asked, my voice very quiet in an effort to keep it even. "You were set to abandon me. The rest I would be able to forgive without much thought, but... I was going to be a completely alone." A tear slipped from my eye and down my cheek. "You were going to leave, and then Maric was going to have to go back home." My voice broke, and I turned my face away from him, trying to control myself.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 20, 2009 16:59:41 GMT -5
I sighed, more so because she was right and I looked down for a moment before looking at her again. "I said I want you to be able to trust me, I didn't say I thought it would happen right away. I made a mistake Lilli, a big one in my books and yours as well. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try to earn your trust back, just... give me a chance, let me at least try." My voice took on an edge of pleading, but it was soft, gentle in hopes that she would indeed give me a second chance. "I mean, I'm staying aren't I, I could have left, I could have just abandon you and not given it a second thought. Thats got to count for something, even if its small, perhaps that can be the start."
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Lillianne Prévost
Aristocrat
Future Duchesse de Moulins; Ward of Azriel Shahrizai
Daughter of G?rard and Nicole Pr?vost
Posts: 1,148
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Post by Lillianne Prévost on Nov 21, 2009 23:28:12 GMT -5
"If you had left, you wouldn't have had any hope at all." Angrily I wiped my tears away. "You have one chance. Because whether you like it or not, you're all I have left. You can get angry at your Shahrizai cousins, I can only get angry at you."
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 22, 2009 17:50:37 GMT -5
I sighed and stood moving to her bed and sat next to her. "I'm very sorry Lillianne," I said as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, hoping that she wouldn't push me away. "I'll do what ever I can to make this up to you."
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Lillianne Prévost
Aristocrat
Future Duchesse de Moulins; Ward of Azriel Shahrizai
Daughter of G?rard and Nicole Pr?vost
Posts: 1,148
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Post by Lillianne Prévost on Nov 22, 2009 20:03:27 GMT -5
I broke down then and began to sob, burying my face in his chest. There was just so much anger and relief mixed up inside me, I couldn't handle it. So I cried.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 24, 2009 17:22:41 GMT -5
I turned inward a little, wrapping my both my arms around her now as I held onto her and ran my hand over her head, making a soft shushing noise to sooth her. I was afraid to say anything else at this point, the damage had been done, and now I had to undo it. But for now I could be here for her, hold her, and pretend that everything would be alright, even if it wasn't right now.
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