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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 0:51:59 GMT -5
I hadn't made it that far out of the area, only passing beyond the gates of Valerian House and into the street when Naia caught up to me, breathing heavily as she locked step with mine. "You should have stayed." I said softly. "I really didn't mean to ruin your evening, some one like you should be enjoying their youth, not being lulled into sleep by an old man like myself." I gave her a gentle smile as I stopped to look at her.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 1:23:37 GMT -5
"Oh, come now, you aren't so old as all that," I said, laughing softly as I caught my breath. "And don't worry, my evening isn't ruined, I don't know what I would have done if my cousins had actually won the auction."
The autumn night air was crisp and I inhaled it deeply, feeling somehow different. What was it? My step was lighter and I felt a true smile on my lips, and I realized that I felt happy. My troubles still hung over me like a thick raincloud, but yet I did not feel as weighted down by them as usual. I suddenly wanted Azriel to be happy as well, though I did not know how to accomplish such a thing. Usually I was trying to make people miserable!
"I hope you don't think I'm being a pest," I said as we walked. "But I really do feel like I should like to get to know you properly before you leave."
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 1:32:26 GMT -5
I smiled to her as I turned and we began to walk again, my thumbs hooking into my belt as we walked. "I don't mind." I said softly. "I've been drinking on and off for two days, it gives me an excuse to stop." I admitted as I looked at her. "Why would you want to get to know me, surely I'm not that exciting. How old are you, seventeen?" I asked. "I can't be as much fun as spending time with the pair you arrived with. Even if they hadn't have won, I'm sure they would have just taking you off on an adventure."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 1:39:14 GMT -5
"Eighteen, actually," I said, drawing myself up to my full height, as if that would make me seem older. I was a bit affronted that he thought of me so young, as if the year's difference made me so much more of an adult. "And only two days?" I teased, though I realized suddenly that bragging about my unhealthy drinking habits might not show me in the best light.
I grabbed onto the subject of Erie and Eros before I put my foot any further into my mouth. "Oh, well, they're staying with us while Anacrasia's out of the City, so I'm sure we three shall have plenty of time to get into trouble. I'm sure I don't know what Sarielle was thinking, giving me live-in partners in crime."
There, I'd done it again, and I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. "Tell me," I said, changing the subject quickly, "Why are you going to Marsilikos? I thought Lilliane and Maric were fostering with you? Are they going with you?"
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 1:44:12 GMT -5
I smiled a little at her comment, one could always tell someone of a young age by they way they responded. Those that were young and thought they were old easily offended if you didn't say the right age. I would have responded about her sister's choice to allow the pair to live with them for the time being, but she asked about Lilli and Maric and I felt sad again, looking forward as we continued to walk. "No, they are staying here." I said softly, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. "Lilli's old enough, she doesn't need me. I'm not her father and I can't give her anything that she doesn't already posses."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 1:49:37 GMT -5
"Oh," was all I said, sensing the change in mood. Apparently I was better at making people miserable than raising their spirits, but perhaps that was not meant to be tonight. I wanted to say something about how even if someone didn't appear to need you, that didn't mean that they did not, but I felt I did not know enough about the situation to offer an opinion. For all I knew, Lilli couldn't wait to see the back of him, though I doubted it.
"Are you going because of what happened the other night, at dinner?" I knew it was a prying question, but I had to ask nonetheless. "I know Gadleon can be a right bastard sometimes, but he's not as bad as all that, I'm sure he's sorry for the way he behaved." I was sure of no such thing, and in fact thought that Gadleon would likely strangle me with his bare hands if he could hear me, but I hated to think that our disastrous dinner party had driven Azriel right out of the City.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 1:59:09 GMT -5
I flashed a faint smile at Naia. "No its not the reason, its part of it, but its not because of it." I replied a bit vaguely then thought better of it. "Its like I said before, I've had my dealings with the Shahrizai, most of it bad. The truth is that I am like them, and I am not, but some one like Gadleon exemplifies all the worse traits in our kin." I looked at her for a moment before looking forward again. "I hate that, I hate that theres this world in which a man like him is accepted because he's fine with being rude, or treating a woman like she's nothing more then something to sink his teeth in." I sighed softly. "Sarielle showed me that I could be me and be a Shahrizai at the same time. I am dark, just as she is, or her lover, or even you I'd wager. I've spent a lot of time thinking that I had to be one or the other, that taking pleasure in pain meant I was no better then some one like Gadleon, some one that isn't fit to lick the scum off your sister's boots." I shook my head, thinking about him. "But now," I took a breath as I thought about why I was laving. "Now I am something new, some one new, I have accepted my Shahrizai side but I can't seem to bridge them so that I'm fit for the company of others."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 22:03:36 GMT -5
"You really care about my sister, don't you?" I said quietly, that old jealous feeling twisting at my gut. It wasn't fair, how everyone loved her and I had no one. The other things he said rang true to my mind, about being dark, about being Shahrizai and not, and I sighed heavily ... did it ever get any easier? Judging by Azriel, it didn't seem that it would.
"I don't think you're unfit for the company of others," I said, smiling up at him. "You're keeping me company very well so far." I had thought to come to Gad's defense, but Azriel appeared to have strong opinions on the subject, and so I decided to leave well enough alone on that score. Besides, Gadleon did not need me to defend him. "Even without any drinks," I said in a teasing tone, trying to draw him out of his melancholy.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 2, 2009 22:56:50 GMT -5
I chuckled a little as I looked at Naia. "I appreciate that." I said softly. "But I'm certainly not that type that should be trying to be a parent to a child." I added shaking my head. "And I do like your sister, she's important to me... its just not quite anything more then that unfortunately. I love her, but I'm not in love with her." I wasn't sure if perhaps Naia thought that of me, so I wanted to be clear, though I wasn't so sure why I needed to be clear. I decided to move to a different subject never the less. "Do you have friend in the city?" I asked her curiously.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 3, 2009 0:23:01 GMT -5
I gave him a look, then smiled. "Don't try, then. I certainly don't need anyone else trying to parent me."
I don't know why but I was glad to hear that he wasn't in love with her, and I found my steps were lighter and I felt a bit better about my sister. Perhaps she wouldn't have everyone after all!
"Friends?" I said the word and thought about its meaning. "Well, there's Sin... and ..." I stopped, stymied, and felt a flush of embarrassment creep up my cheeks and I was quite glad for the darkness. I realized that even the people in the City that I liked were mere acquaintances. "And Balta," I added, though I wasn't sure if friend was the right word. At least Sin and I didn't have the complications of a physical relationship. "And I'm hoping that the twins will become friends..." I trailed off and then laughed mockingly at my pitiful lack.
"I'm not very good at making friends, actually."
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 3, 2009 0:52:34 GMT -5
I smiled gently as I looked at her. "We have that in common." I said with a chuckle. "Let me ask you something, when you're out looking for friends, what do you do, where do you go, what do you look for in some one you consider a friend?" I asked curiously. I didn't know much about Naia, just the brief things I remember when I was younger, and the things that Sarielle said about her, but other then that she was as much a mystery then most woman. But I got the feeling that there was more to her demeanor, more to the person she portrayed. It was pretty obvious that night at Sarielle's when her interests seemed to be in making me uncomfortable, or may be that was just an attempt to make her sister uncomfortable.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 3, 2009 18:51:06 GMT -5
I thought about it for a moment, and the truth was that I had never given it much thought.
"Well, I just seem to find them, at um taverns and such..." Dared I be truly honest and tell him that I found most of them at the bottom of a bottle in places that some grown men were afraid to frequent? "I suppose I don't really look for friends, so much as fall over people in random places." It was how I had met everyone here, though the only friendships I had pursued were perhaps the ones that were the worst for me.
"What about you? You said we had that in common, where do you look for friends?" I wondered if perhaps that was where the both of us were going wrong, not really looking for friends but merely finding company where we could.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 3, 2009 22:59:24 GMT -5
I chuckled a little. "I don't tend to look for friends either." I replied as I looked to her. "I don't really have any friends, any that I feel comfortable telling my secrets to, or trusting." I thought about it for a moment. "Your sister is probably the closest thing I have to a friend." I then added and shrugged. "But I met your sister in a book shoppe." I added with another chuckle.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 3, 2009 23:22:28 GMT -5
I agreed wholeheartedly with what he said about trusting, and as we continued to walk, I thought about my sister. "I wonder what makes Sarielle and I so different that way," I mused. "She seems to attract people like bees to honey, while I do my best to keep them away."
I sighed, running a hand through my hair before regarding him. "I suppose it's trust, like you said. Sarielle trusts people enough to let them in, but I just don't. People always seem to disappear, or disappoint."
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 0:01:58 GMT -5
I looked at her and shrugged. "Mayhap," I replied. "Or may be you're like me in that you don't think you deserve to have good people in your life. That it seems no matter what you do, you hurt the people around you and they can't bare to be with you, so you believe that they don't stay because you're not a good person." I offered, my lips quirking sideways in an absent moment of thought.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 0:12:21 GMT -5
His words rang uncomfortably true, and I felt the prick of tears behind my eyelids. I kept them there, however, unwilling to show that much emotion to a man I had just met. Besides, I was trying not to appear as a child to his eyes, and I was sure crying in the street would have the opposite effect.
"Is that how you feel?" I said, surprised. It certainly was how I felt, but I couldn't see why he would feel that way. "I know I don't know you well, but you've already been a better person to me than almost anyone I've met."
On a whim, I reached out and took his hand. "Maybe both of us need to rethink what we believe?"
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 0:45:52 GMT -5
I stopped, turning toward Naia as she took my hand and gave her a little smile. "I agree." I said softly as I looked at her, she seemed so young and yet so old at the same time. I wondered if I looked that way when I was her age. I wanted to know more about her, but I was afraid to push, to ask any questions that may up set her. "Did...did you want to go some where more private, some where that we can sit down and talk more?" I asked curiously.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 1:00:20 GMT -5
"I would like that," I answered, and I found that I really would. Not for my usual reasons of causing trouble for my sister, but I actually liked talking to him. He was the first person I had ever met who seemed to understand what it was like to be unsure of where one fit in the world, or who knew how it felt to be unlovable. Suddenly, I felt a little bit less alone.
"Your place or mine," I joked, thinking that neither would likely be very private, unless his wards were in the habit of keeping to themselves. For my part, I would not like to risk running into Sarielle and Gadleon, and ruining this fragile happiness I was feeling.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 1:14:07 GMT -5
I smiled softly. "I was thinking perhaps a quite tavern, some where that wouldn't be too busy at this time of night." I said with a bit of a wider grin.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 1:23:55 GMT -5
"That's a much better idea," I said, laughing softly. "Do you know of a good place?" There was no way I was going to suggest the Gauche, that was for certain. Or that awful place Sinclair and I had discovered, though I had to wonder if Azriel would find it as terribly amusing as I had. Although, in retrospect the amusement had come more out of Sin's reaction than anything else.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 1:41:59 GMT -5
I glanced around and realized we were about in the center of the city. "We're close to Casa Abuelita, did you feel like eating?" I asked curiously.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 1:53:05 GMT -5
I realized that I was indeed hungry, as was often the case, it seemed. "That sounds wonderful," I said, "I've never eaten there before." The name sounded Aragonian, and I was put in mind of Balta. "Though my boss is Aragonian, I suppose I should have tried to learn something of his culture." I laughed softly, thinking that the only person who was ever really on my mind was me.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 2:10:42 GMT -5
I chuckled softly. "Even more of a reason to go then." I said smiling as I held her hand still and turned, guiding her down the road that would lead us there.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 13:00:23 GMT -5
I gave his hand a little squeeze, content to let him lead the way, as I had no idea where we were going. As we walked, I thought about my cousins and hoped that they were getting along all right without me, though those two seemed quite capable.
"So, Casa Abuelita, hmm? Have you eaten here before?" Hopefully he would be able to direct me to something that my limited palate would enjoy.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 18:29:54 GMT -5
"I have," I said softly. "Just the once though, I ordered something safe." I added with a little chuckle. "We'll have to help each other out." I commented as I lead her down toward the restaurant.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 22:09:42 GMT -5
I laughed, trying to think of some of the things Balta had told me about Aragonian food. "Well, do you like food that is spicy or not?" I personally did, but I knew that a lot of D'angelines did not fancy it.
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Post by Azriel Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 22:45:14 GMT -5
I nodded as I looked at her, nearing the door to the building. "I do actually, I know not a lot of D'Angeline do, but I enjoy it greatly."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Nov 4, 2009 23:07:23 GMT -5
I felt a silly thrill that we had yet one more thing in common, even if it was something as silly as liking spicy food. "Well, I'm sure the Aragonians have something that is both delicious and spicy on the menu." We were there, in front of the restaurant, and I grinned happily as we arrived. "Perhaps we can ask them for the spiciest thing they have, and see which of us breaks first." I laughed.
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