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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 22, 2009 15:28:20 GMT -5
I nodded in understanding. "I understand all of that, Gadleon, and know it. It is quite possible that my issue with the patron was due to repression of urges, or finding a milder way to deal with those urges, but these urges do not have an outlet, at least I have not yet found one, except throwing myself into perfecting and honing my skill. I don't want to throw people over bars, especially for no reason except to expel my own repressed urges. Unless I misunderstand you, that is your way of dealing with your... less savoury urges," I said with a laugh, "but I, I do not have something like that. The want to be cruel, terribly cruel, without reason, even as someone begs me to be otherwise. I cannot think of an outlet save indulging in it." I said, shaking my head, not just at my own words, but also at the fact that I was sharing my dark secrets with this... man.... from a family I had hated from childhood.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 22, 2009 15:49:10 GMT -5
“Do not knock it till you try it your flight was quite majestic but your landing needs a bit of work.” I smirked “As for the other you are a Second if I recall your words right, so that most likely means you are the owner of one complete marquee. Shit go to Valerian and asked for their most psychotic adept.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 22, 2009 16:23:51 GMT -5
I laughed at that, drinking from my cup. "I do not wish to indulge in that side of me. I don't wish to maim without reason, to emotionally cripple someone without a cause," I said with a shake of my head, "because if I am to slake that urge, it needs to be done, to the end to the extreme, no halfways, which is why I cannot indulge," I said with a shrug. "Sure, I could always go to Valerian and berate and whip someone until they are begging and bawling their eyes out, all the while deriving pain, but that which has been repressed is the urge to hurt something that can be hurt, like when I was a child. Tis the reason I am in the House I am in, to make me something milder than I might have turned out to be, and they have but the urge, it is still there." I figured he'd think I was making a terribly big deal of this, but to me it was.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 22, 2009 16:50:09 GMT -5
I crinkled my nose “Sounds like you are pissed about something. Also sounds like it would not take too much for you to be like one of those cousins in the basement pulling the wings off flies.” I gave him a rueful smile and shook my head “Best to get a handle on whatever it is that is gnawing at you before it eats you whole man. Kushiel’s gifts are not about that, that is a differing mater entirely.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 22, 2009 17:23:46 GMT -5
I looked at him, sickened. "I am not pissed," I growled, "nor am I like that sick... what was his name... Dominic? Apparently he couldn't stop himself from his urges, I have been successful thus far. I am not about to go mad over it, I just slip up once in a while," I knew I was backtracking, but I really didn't care. "I haven't needed to indulge in it thus far, so why should I ?" I was flabberghasted that he would even liken me to ... to one of them, but I kept my cool, feeling the want to impart my own justice over his noggin, but refraining from it. Just like I had from childhood. My justice was not always the right justice. "And you're so damned versed in the proper uses of Kushiel's gifts," I muttered, pushing the cup away from me.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 23, 2009 8:47:26 GMT -5
He of course denied my words vehemently. Too vehemently since I did not even have to use family gifts to know I had most likely hit close to the mark. I simply watched him with a small smile on my face. He was most likely going to toss me over the bar soon but well some truths one must face in my humble opinion less they turn into Dominics. Why the Queen allowed that one to continue breathing would forever vex me but he is the sort of twit that inevitably makes the same mistake again and then the hounds would be set loose on his trail and I fully intended to be the lead dog when that happy event occurred.
My companion on the other hand seemed to be a decent sort who just happened to have a little bit of an issue. He would face it in his own time but I considered it a duty to a likely distant cousin to require him to do just that. The fact that it was horribly amusing to watch him twist was rather irrelevant.
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 23, 2009 8:51:59 GMT -5
He just kept looking at me, comfortable, and smug to boot, and it grated on my every nerve, but I didn't strike. It wasn't like me. I wasn't like him. Okay, we were kind of alike but not enough to throw myself over a bridge for.
But he just kept looking! In silence, and so I decided to move the topic at hand along.
"So, I guess you will be one of the ones who sullies the line and ends up disgracing the family name," I said with a laugh, "since you are so vehemently against inbreeding."
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 23, 2009 9:02:56 GMT -5
I shrugged “Maybe and maybe not and I am reckoning that Anacrasia has seen a bit of the flaws in the old line of thought when it comes to our line. She is no body’s fool not to mention she is wedding outside of the family line.” I continued giving the fellow an amused look as his change of subject was utterly coarse and without subtlety. It was of course in my family nature to continue tormenting him simply because I could even though I did not do so in words.
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 23, 2009 11:04:19 GMT -5
"What exactly is she?" I asked. "I mean, is she like, the alpha wolf of the pack or something?" I really didn't understand her importance. "I guess the times are changing," I said with a chuckle.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 23, 2009 11:42:06 GMT -5
Talk about letting one’s ignorance show. I gave him a rather blank look and responded “The Duchesse” it was common knowledge that all of the peer families has a head when it came to matters of state. I would think the Shahrizai would be a pretty obvious one for a Mandrake to know.
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 23, 2009 11:50:23 GMT -5
"What is there no one more higher ranked than she on the Shahrizai line?" I asked. I was not fully certain how these things really worked, and if I had, it was all out of my mind at the moment, loaded on liquor regardless. I knew there were those who reigned over a province, but did not know that there were heads of households, of families, and I would automatically think that it would be the person with the most years, the eldest, that would have that.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 23, 2009 13:02:08 GMT -5
I sipped a bit more of my drink and bobbed my head. “Yes, she is the ranking high born member of our line while oddly at this particular time Kusheth is not the sovereign domain of a family member. It all depends on the vagaries of births and marriages and the like.” I shrugged “I find more often than not I prefer being the youngest son of my immediate family. It does not really help the purse bulge but it does save one from being born with certain obligations and expectations.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 23, 2009 13:05:25 GMT -5
"I see," I said, shrugging. "I doubt I will have to make myself known to her. I'm such a minor player in the scheme of things," I said with a laugh, "and yes, interesting that a Shahrizai does not hold the title of holding the soverign to Kusheth, considering the purity of the bloodline, then again, when was the last time one did?" I said with a shrug. "You are the youngest of your brood?" I asked, raising a brow. "How old are you?"
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 23, 2009 13:35:21 GMT -5
I thought a moment “If I recall correctly it has been about two generations since a member of the family has been in that position. As for the later I am 21 and the youngest of a clan of 7. I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters. I let the other 6 tend to the matters of being proper children I am the free spirit of the lot.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 23, 2009 13:54:09 GMT -5
"Yes, free spirit indeed," I mumbled under my breath. "So I guess that means you are certainly far removed from gaining the estate. What do you do youngin?" I asked with a smirk.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 23, 2009 13:59:02 GMT -5
I turned my head and looked at him with utterly unblinking eyes while letting the predator slide to the surface of the mirrors to my soul “I kill people” I replied without missing a beat. It was indeed the truth though I suspected his mind might jump in some pretty fanciful directions.
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 23, 2009 14:31:47 GMT -5
He looked serious but, for some reason, all I could do was laugh. I looked at him, raising my brows incredulously. "You... you kill people?" I laughed harder. "And who do you kill?" I asked with another laugh.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 23, 2009 14:37:35 GMT -5
“Whoever I am told to” I replied without missing a beat “and I am good at it.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 23, 2009 14:57:23 GMT -5
"Mmhmm and what does that make you, a paid assassin?" I asked with a raised brow as I leaned on my palm and looked at him. "You're good, I am sure, but hardly that good."
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 24, 2009 8:55:28 GMT -5
“What is a soldier if not an assassin?” I asked.
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 24, 2009 8:59:48 GMT -5
"Nah they're very different," I said with a wry smile. "Most are boneheaded idiots with swords. How do you cope?" I asked with an innocent smile.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 24, 2009 9:51:23 GMT -5
I snorted “The boneheaded idiots are more battlefield fodder and breech fillers they are not soldiers. The only real difference between a soldier and an assassin is that soldiering is normally a face to face matter though I can think of no one who has spent any time with a blade who would not dispose of their opponent in an underhanded manner if the opportunity arose. So you see there really as not so much to cope with at the end of the day.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 24, 2009 10:00:24 GMT -5
I laughed. "Just diversions for the opponent to foolishly focus on while the 'real' soldiers go in for the kill," I said with a laugh. "Queen's guard then I take it? Must be boring right about now."
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 24, 2009 10:03:08 GMT -5
I dipped my head “Yes, yes, and yes makes one almost wish for an assassination attempt or the like.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 24, 2009 10:14:14 GMT -5
I raised both of my brows at his audacity, though I knew he was joking. "Well, you could always take up knitting," I said with a snicker. "Or find other interests to keep you busy."
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 24, 2009 10:21:33 GMT -5
“I have it generally involves tossing drunks over bars” I finished off my glass and refilled it feeling a bit woozy myself. I was also pretty certain that the following morning was going to be exceedingly painful.
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 24, 2009 10:54:31 GMT -5
I watched him refill his glass, "well then I ought to stick around and watch you perform the amazing feat of throwing yourself over the bar in time," I chuckled. "Don't you need to stay sharp for duty this morning?" I asked with a punctuated finger jab to my own head... mayhap a little too hard as I rubbed my temple and snickered at myself. If I wasn;t careful he'd be throwing me over again for being twice as drunk as before.
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 24, 2009 11:07:38 GMT -5
“I have been working nights most recently with various times of deploy as well as days off. It greatly helps in keeping one’s sleep pattern entirely out of whack and thus making it rather impossible to develop anything that comes even close to resembling normal hours.”
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Post by Demetrius nó Mandrake on Sept 24, 2009 13:01:20 GMT -5
"Well I guess that keeps you keen and battle ready. You never know when a strike might come, and you cant be dilly dallying in sleep when it does."
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Post by Gadleon Shahrizai on Sept 24, 2009 13:07:11 GMT -5
I shrugged “The heart of the kingdom has not been threatened in ages and I suspect it shall be ages before it is threatened again so it is more of an irritant than anything else. Now the boarders are a differing tale but I left there in order to get a bit more stability in my life so I reckon one should be careful what they wish for.”
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