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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 13, 2009 11:38:38 GMT -5
I went to Mandrake House after my night with Anixiel, a plan in my head and started for the place I had not been to since I had been bought out by Valerian House. I was not sure how to feel, after all, my place in Valerian House was correct, even if everyone did not see it, and yet with the thought of Landis, I felt bitter and enraged. It was worse than going to L'Roche's by a hundred fold, for while in the small, toy shop no one could speak for my identity, Valerian and Mandrake knew each other intimately and I already had a soiled reputation as it was. They would know me, despite the fact that I had not associated with them, nor had a reciprocal with one, even though it had been suggested several times to teach me how to 'yield'. Ironic, that that was the canon of my house and yet they thought I needed to learn it. They were my peers, which made it all the harder. I practically knew what they thought of me, someone who had grown up with them and yet loved the lash more than holding one. To be equal with them, then under them. I know that Valerian House is not... 'under' any house, per say, but still, all the same. Those in Mandrake House had been my friends.
I pushed through the door with fresh faces looking at me and many that I remembered. They had been my friends, once and I knew what they thought, the question of 'why' and I was still looking for that, myself. I ended up asking a younger adept for Landis' room and followed after him until I was there, in front of it. I knocked, I wasn't sure why, before I opened it, fury in my eyes towards a man I had not seen in years, six years my elder.
"Landis," I snarled, remembering our last confrontation well. He had told me that perhaps I belonged in Valerian House, instead of Mandrake with all the mischief I caused and pranks, just to be beaten. I was so infuriated by that comment, even though he had been right. I think I was more angry at the latter than the former. "I want your hands off Anixiel. She's mine, do you hear me?" I snapped, remembering how tall he was and had a double take, before I strode up to him, fearless. "Just stay away from her or I swear I'll make you pay."
He was taller and stronger, surely, for he wielded a whip while I was under one, but that was an advantage, I supposed. If this got into a fight, getting hit would be nothing to me.
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 13, 2009 12:19:42 GMT -5
It had been an uneventful morning so far. No patrons had come seeking my particular brand of punishment, and I did not expect them to come this early. Very few patrons were up for such an assignation so soon after waking.
Imagine my surprise when one of the young trainees bursts into my room to tell me that another adept is on his way here, and he did not seem pleased. I frowned, wondering who it could be. Was it that adept I had insulted at the bar while I had been in a drunken stupor?
As it turned out, I was very, very wrong.
"Hello Sinclair," I said, my thumb stroking the handle of my mother's whip, which lay coiled in my lap like a snake. "I must say, it is very unseemly of you to come barging in my room making such unreasonable demands."
I leaned back in my chair, examining him. It was a puzzle, how he'd come to hate me. 'Twas true, I was the one who had first mentioned his suitability for Valerian House. He was hot-headed, to be sure, but he seemed to lack the aura of dominance, the craving for power that all Mandrake adepts had. Was I wrong in that assessment? I did not like being proved wrong.
The way he spoke of Anixiel, like she was some prized possession, annoyed me to no end. "I should think Anixiel has a choice in who she chooses to bed," I replied dryly. "This is not Khebbel-im-Akkad, D'Angeline women are not slaves, and I should think that if you are that jealous that she chose me for an assignation, that you should discuss it with her."
I rose from my seat, still grasping the whip. "I do not take kindly to threats, Messire," I said, lowering my voice until it was slightly above a whisper. "Would you like to leave of your own accord, or shall I ask the guards to escort you out? This is not the place to carry on such petty squabbles...."
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 13, 2009 12:28:01 GMT -5
"Oh, shut up Landis and get off your high horse," I snapped when he told me it was unseemly. It was always him, back in the day chastising me on my actions and how they would get me into trouble or how it was not very mature or how it was inappropriate. As if he were the Dowayne himself, or something. I practically wanted to punch him, just for that, though it had been years ago. He had been right, I belonged in Valerian House and I was not sure how to feel. Landis had been right.
"She had a reciprocal with you, she needed to learn something, so she had no choice." Why she had a reciprocal with him, to learn what, I did not know and I knew I had to watch my steps carefully so that I did not let on that she and I had had a copulation outside of a contract. "She's not my slave. I just actually care about her." I did not care for many, but when I did, I was as territorial as ever. "And you sir, you would hurt her... you'd harm her and you wouldn't care. I don't care if you have a reciprocal with her, but that's all its going to be. Don't you dare play with her emotions." I knew he would. He thought he was so charming and so... so suave, but I would show him one up.
"Oh, a whip," I retorted when he told me that he did not take kindly to threats. "I'm in Valerian House, just like you said, Landis, do you honestly think I'm afraid of that?" I had never once said my signale and had the reputation of defying my patrons, which was what they came to me for, a fight. "This isn't a place for it. Take it outside with me in the back alley, unless you're afraid, Mandrake."
I spat the last word out, my hands calm in my pockets though they were clenched into fists. He had another thing coming. He might have been taller and stronger, but I had actually gotten into fights before, many with my patrons and some with adepts. He had had them, but they had been staged assignations. This was different.
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 13, 2009 13:09:38 GMT -5
I sighed. "I'll take you outside, sir, but you'll be at the point of a guard's sword." I was Camael's scion, but I was never trained in the way of the sword. Still, the prospect of a fight stirred something in my blood.
No, I knew this was one battle I couldn't win, and I chose my battles wisely.
"I'm not afraid of you, Sinclair," I spat. "But if you think I'd be stupid enough to follow you outside to scuffle in a dark alley filled with Elua-knows-what sort of refuse, then you are naught but a bully, and an idiot, besides. Anixiel deserves better than the likes of you..." I carefully placed my mother's whip back where it belonged. I didn't want this ruffian to damage it if things got out of hand.
I pushed past him, heading out into the hallway. "You're in Mandrake House, Valerian," I said softly. "I would advise you to mind your manners before I have you locked up." I had half a mind to call on Anixiel, have her settle things between the three of us. Maybe she could make this hot-head calm down for a moment so we could have a civilized discussion.
The boy who had come to warn me that Sinclair was coming was still idling in the hall, and I dispatched him to carry a message to Valerian House asking for Anixiel to come and settle this matter as soon as she could. I was an adept, after all, not someone who was accustomed to settling things through the use of force--except during assignations, but love-play was different. Perhaps, once Emile was out and about again, I could ask him to teach me a few things about unarmed combat. I wondered if his training had touched on that or if he had always fought with weaponry...
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 13, 2009 15:27:35 GMT -5
"Coward," I spat when he told me that he would have me at a guard's sword. I was not someone he should fear, after all, I was of the same rank of him, an adept, and I was much smaller than him, which was a huge advantage. I did not see what he had to turn tail away from. I was no coward, even if the odds were quite against me and at times, that made me the fool.
"This is a fight between you and I. Why would I bring anyone else into it?" I growled lowly and grabbed him by the arm. "I give Anixiel my best, everything I have to offer." I had not confessed my feelings towards her, but it showed in my actions, the way I held her close to me, the way I did not want to let go. The mere fact that I wanted her, tagging along with me or I with her on errands spoke enough. I was used to playing solo, but with her, things were different. "Anixiel deserves better than the likes of you. You haughty, uncaring Mandrake."
I moved to the side and followed after him when he dared leave me. "What? You don't have the courage to lock me up. Oh, oh wait. You're going to call someone to do it, aren't you?" I asked sarcastically with a roll of my eyes. I knew he was going to bring Anixiel into this, to hide behind her. I could not... would not throw a punch (probably) with her there. "Don't hide behind Anixiel," I snapped when he dispatched a message to Valerain House. I glowered at him, snarling a little.
"Must you always hide from me?"
The day I had wanted to fight him when he had told me I belonged in Valerian, he had ran, as well. At least, that was the way I saw it. Some would see it as maturity to not put their fists up, but I saw it in cowardice. Some reasons were idiotic. The matters of the heart, were not.
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 13, 2009 18:51:03 GMT -5
"I do not suffer foolishness, that is all," I said tersely. "I have already said that I will not fight you, Sinclair. I suggest you let it rest before you manage to push me too far."
I turned around so that I could gaze into his eyes, casually running a hand through my hair. "As for Anixiel," I continued. "I hardly think it is any of your business what we do together. What perplexes me is your assertion that she is exclusively yours when you have offered me no evidence to the contrary." I stroked my chin thoughtfully. "It is possible for two men to share a woman, and I would not be adverse to such a thing. I for one cannot fathom why we cannot discuss this like adults instead of squabbling like children..."
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 13, 2009 20:19:50 GMT -5
I ground my teeth down. It was his calmness that irritated me the most, that he was able to stay collected when I could be anything but. Saying he would not suffer foolishness was saying that that was exactly what I was. "I refuse to share Anixiel with the likes of you," I snapped. It was like running into a wall. Every time I tried to stir something up, he was calm as ever. Share? With Landis? No. Before I knew it I'd find myself on the other side of the bed of Landis, with Anixiel in the middle. "Why cannot you relinquish her? Besides, your relationship with Anixiel is purely for educational purposes..." Again, treading on dangerous territory, "Anixiel and I hold affections for one another." I scowled a little.
"Fine. Discuss it." I said, arms folded over my chest, trying to keep my cool. "What does she mean to you, Landis, other than just being another Valerian."
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 13, 2009 22:09:43 GMT -5
My eyes widened in response to his comment about my relationship with Anixiel being for educational purposes. My hand moved before I could think about it, sudden rage flaring up in response to his comments, and I slapped him across the face as if he were a patron who had tried my patience during an assignation.
"How dare you assume that my relationship with Anixiel is anything but sincere!?" I hissed. "Did the gods see fit to grant you the power to read a person's thoughts?! Do you have any idea, you arrogant cur--as to what passed between us in that assignation chamber?" I knew I had to reign in my temper before someone alerted the guards, but his words galled me.
"What Anixiel and I have," I began, careful to keep my temper in check. "Is something another Valerian couldn't possibly understand." I scowled. "I'd suggest you take your impudent tongue and learn about sharing your lovers when they desire other people--or I will teach you myself, and I will do so by breaking every bone in your body..."
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 13, 2009 22:23:52 GMT -5
I took his slap and it only went to fuel my rage, but I could barely feel the pain. A slap was nothing to me, practically and I could feel the hint of pleasure in pain in knowing that I had succeeded in making the ever calm and mature Landis enraged. I let out a laugh, despite myself. It was just pure music to my ears to see the expression that crossed his face and to hear his hissing words.
"Oh, excuse me for not understanding," I said sarcastically. "Let me guess... you whip her and she yields? How original." We were two Valerians, Anixiel and I. Surely Landis could see how extraordinary the relationship we had formed was. "Break every bone in my body? I'd like to see you try, Landis." I had a calm expression on my face and suddenly, I elbowed him hard in his gut, just so I could get him bent over enough so I could punch him hard in the face.
"I understand it. We were trained to understand it in both Mandrake House and Valerian. I've been in both worlds, Landis, so don't tell me I don't understand it!" It just wasn't for me and I rubbed my knuckles a little as I snarled a little. "You're just an arrogant Mandrake."
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 13, 2009 22:50:23 GMT -5
I groaned as his knee connected with my stomach, reflexively throwing myself to the side and placing my back against the wall. I was no fighter, my brothers had inherited those gifts that were useful in a fight, and I could only stand so much pain.
"What would Anixiel think if she saw you like this, you beast!?" I spat. "You call me a coward, after you barge in here and begin to berate me for sleeping with a willing woman you happen to like? You are nothing but a child."
The sound of footsteps coming towards us was a welcome sound, and I turned slightly to behold one of Mandrake House's guards. Elua's balls, it was about time...
"Messire d'Ames, is aught amiss?" He asked, turning to regard Sinclair with detachment.
"No, sir, Sinclair was just leaving," I replied. "My gut is a little sore, but I will survive. Would you mind escorting him back to Valerian House? I'm afraid he is quite hot-tempered today." This was my strength, words were my weapon. "Call it a lover's quarrel, nothing more."
Fortunately, the man only nodded. "Come with me, Messire," he said as he moved to stand between me and my adversary. I didn't think Sinclair would be willing to risk being impaled on a guardsman's sword to get to me. I sighed softly to myself. Ignace would probably want to hear about this. I wondered if Anixiel had received my message, perhaps then we could resolve this conflict.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 13, 2009 23:11:41 GMT -5
"Fight me, Landis!" I spat but before I knew it there was the sound of footsteps and I cursed aloud. I would not risk getting into serious, public humiliation for this back at Valerian House and I sucked in a breath, tremling a little with rage as I allowed myself to be led away. I couldn't believe this. But, Landis did have a point. I did not know why I was so jealous. Anixiel had been willing... hadn't she? I had no hold over her and besides, there was nothign wrong with taking more than one lover, especially as an adept. She probably felt the same way. The walk back to Valerian House was long and unforgiving. I felt guilt overwhelming me, though I had none to spare for Landis, it was mainly just for Anixiel. Landis would bring this up to her and I could only feel shame.
Shame. Shame and rage. My hands curled into fists. Coward. He was the one who couldn't throw a decent punch.
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Post by Anixiel nó Valerian on Sept 13, 2009 23:57:30 GMT -5
I ran as fast as I could as soon as I received the message. Sinclair, showing up unannounced, and confronting Landis. I had known this would happen, from the night before. Anything that befell either of them was my fault. Twas not right to talk about anyone I had an assignation with, whether patron or adept. After the boy had arrived to deliver the message, breathless, I dressed in a simple black dress and slippers, no makeup to enhance my features, no pins in my hair, my locks long and nigh unruly with waves, cascading down my back. Before I had entered into Mandrake House, I notived a guard, Sinclair, and Landis leaning in what looked to be an uncomfortable position.
No, no, no!
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but fought the urge to cry back down.
"What... has occurred here?" I asked, my voice soft yet commanding some sort of authority I did not know I had. I think it was the anger and sadness welling inside me that caused me to be so forward in that moment. I looked to Sinclair, obviously enraged, and Landis, also angered but looking to be in pain, and furrowed my brows. "What on earth has passed!?"
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 14, 2009 0:21:24 GMT -5
I turned my head at the sound of her voice. It appeared that Anixiel had received my message, after all. Ah, even in this state, she was beautiful. My eyes took in her lovely dark tresses and her smooth, unblemished skin. I remembered running my hands over her body, hearing her sweet voice begging me for what respite I could provide.
"Hello, Anixiel," I said by way of greeting. "It appears your lover does not approve of your having assignations with anyone but him, the way he explained it to me." I lightly patted my stomach. "He was quite ready to fight with me in a back alley. He can throw a punch, but I do not think that it is too serious..." I offered her a reassuring smile. "It's all right, my dear. There was no lasting harm done..."
I pushed off the wall and came towards her. "It's all right, my dear. It's not your fault." My voice was low and soothing, as if I was comforting a child. The rage that I'd felt earlier had all but evaporated. "Perhaps now we can discuss this like adults?"
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 14, 2009 1:47:19 GMT -5
(I'm not entirely sure if I'm supposed to post or if Sinclair is going back to Valerian... but uh... if I am NOT somebody just PM me and I'll delete it)
I stepped away from the guard as soon as I saw Anixiel dash towards us and gave Landis a look. We could settle this now or later, it did not matter to me, but I had no authority to send the guard away, after all, I was not the one who had been whining for a child for some support in this matter. I could and would fight Landis any day. "Don't listen to him," I spat and looked over at Anixiel. I could feel guilt boiling and wrenching in my gut by the worried expression on her face. It was my fault, wasn't it? I had done this to her. I had not thought about, perhaps, what she would want in the matter.
"I don't care if you have assignations. It's part of Naamah's service. Just..." I glanced over at Landis and scowled. "Anyone but him." I shook my head. "Discuss this like adults, Landis? What is there to discuss?" She'd choose him, I knew and I would not be harmed. I couldn't. I refused to allow myself to be hurt over... over a girl. Over anyone. "It's your choice, isn't it, Anixiel? Unless you insist on having us both." It was only recently that I had ever started having affections for anyone and it seemed like a curse. First Anixiel, then Gabriel Shahrizai. I did not even know if she knew about the latter, but it shamed me so.
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Post by Anixiel nó Valerian on Sept 14, 2009 2:11:57 GMT -5
I looked at the scene before me. Landis telling me not to worry, calm as ever, telling me it was not my fault and placing blame on Sinclair, and Sinclair telling me not to listen to his words, asking me in his own way not to see Landis anymore, assignation or no, the guard standing there, looking perplexed as to whether to stay or go.
I looked to Landis, my voice soft and eyes sad. "Please... tell the guard to stand down. If this needs to be discussed then let us discuss it," then I looked pointedly to Sinclair, "without the use of bodily harm as a determinant." I sighed loudly, massaging my temples with my hands. "Gods... this is all my fault... this whole bloody mess," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. And now I would be made to choose. And I knew I loved Sinclair, and though I had been with Landis only once, he too I was terribly affectionate of. It felt like my world was crashing in on me. Me, who was every obedient, quiet and never troublesome, who passed everyday practically unnoticed, now having two lovers fighting over me. Most women would be flattered, I was terrified.
I felt weak and dropped my hands from my face. "And can we go somewhere more... private... please," I pleaded, hoping that the tears would stay at bay at least until then.
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 14, 2009 11:51:43 GMT -5
"Of course," I replied, glancing at the guard. "You may go. We have all decided to discuss this without shedding blood..."
The guard shifted uneasily, glancing in the general direction of the Dowayne's office. "Ignace--"
"--will want to hear about this, I understand." I interrupted, taking a step towards him so he was forced to step back. "I'm sure you can give him a full account of what transpired." I made a dismissive gesture. "Elua! Go on! I'll call you back if we start killing each other!"
The guard glanced at Sinclair and Anixiel before shaking his head and proceeding down the hall, probably to inform Ignace straightaway, or else to drink until he forgot about the incident.
Satisfied, I quickly ushered Anixiel and Sinclair into one of the rooms that was used for patrons and adepts to become familiar with one another before an assignation. I had used a room just like this one prior to my assignation with Anixiel.
I immediately took a seat on the couch, facing the two Valerian adepts. "Take a seat," I said, gesturing to the two chairs that were arranged to that we could all see each other. "We have some time before our friend manages to adequately explain things to my Dowayne. I expect the Dowayne of Valerian House will have to be notified as well..." I glanced pointedly at Sinclair. "I'm sure they'll manage to think up an adequate punishment..."
I rested my back against the couch. "Now that that's out of the way. Shall we begin by discussing this like adults?"
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 14, 2009 14:11:18 GMT -5
A full account of what transpired? Elua's balls. That meant the guard coming in on me elbowing and kneeing him. Sure, the Mandrake had merely slapped me, but still, I was not the one who had made the first move. My jaw was tight and locked as we moved into the room, my hands were clenched in fists. I could barely believe that I had not thrown another punch since the guard had left.
"I'll stand," I said firmly when he gestured to the chairs. My throat tightened when he said that Trinette would find out. I knew that she would, but I had to make this slowly on my own shoulders to bear. Anixiel would not get blamed for this. I was already trying to think of a way to worm her out of this. Surely this would be what broke her back. I had assaulted a Mandrake. I was afraid. I could not lie to myself, but I did not know what would happen to me now. I was already treading on thin ice. I had meant for this to be a private encounter, but it had not been.
"How unfortunate," I said, acting as if it I cared not if my Dowayne knew. I yielded to her, even if I did to no one else. I was nearly sick of this situation, for I knew what the end outcome would be. If it had been her and I alone, I would have told her to choose what she will, but here, in front of Landis, I would not. "You know what I am, Anixiel," I said simply, unable to look at her. I glanced over at Landis. "And he wants to discuss this like adults, so shall we? What sort of proposal do you have in mind?" I asked sarcastically of the Mandrake.
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Post by Anixiel nó Valerian on Sept 14, 2009 16:28:43 GMT -5
The guard left and I thought quickly. If Trinette was told, her first question would be why, and if Sinclair lied, for all the heavens, it would have to be a lie she would believe, and one that would get him in terrible trouble, which he knew I would never allow.
I laughed bitterly in the realization as I sat. And I was never a bitter person.
"First things first," I said quietly. "As much as telling the Dowaynes seems like the better thing to do, Landis," I said looking at him sadly, "it may be best to keep this more on the quiet side unless you wish me to be punished as well," I said calmly. "Because as simple as this seems on the surface," I said, chuckling sadly and shaking my head, dropping my gaze to the floor, unable to look at either of them, "it really is not. And mayhap, this is the time that we should be completely open and honest with one another." I added. "I don't know about proposals, I don't even know what lead to this... so maybe we should start at a recounting of what happened, and why?" I asked, my voice faltering a little, causing me to clear my throat.
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 14, 2009 17:26:11 GMT -5
I shrugged helplessly. "What is done is done, Anixiel. I reckon we were loud enough for most of Mandrake to hear us squabbling." I folded my hands and rested them in my lap. "'Twas not your fault, in any case." I had to remain calm, I could not lose my temper like I did with Sinclair.
"Well, as I recall," I began when Anixiel asked for a recounting of what had occurred. "Sinclair came barging into my quarters today, one of the fosterlings barely had time to warn me before he came in and began making very..unreasonable...demands."
I leaned forward, glancing at Sinclair. "What was that you said? 'Just stay away from her or I swear I'll make you pay', yes, I believe that is exactly what you said." I glanced over at Anixiel. "It appears Sinclair is unwilling to share you with me, my dear."
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Post by Anixiel nó Valerian on Sept 14, 2009 18:16:31 GMT -5
I immediately wished I had not asked that question as my jaw slackened, dropping open and my eyes looke to Sinclair. I snapped my mouth shut as I waited for the rest of the story to unfold.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 14, 2009 21:07:01 GMT -5
"That is exactly what I said," I stated. I was not a coward to retract my words, even with Anixiel here and I shot a glare towards Landis, trying to keep my cool but it was getting harder and harder by the second. "Afterward, he slapped me for being so arrogant so I kneed him in the gut for slapping me." I was sure that Anixiel knew that I could not allow something like that just lie and rest without repercussion. I scowled a little and looked over at the Mandrake in front of me.
"And 'tis better if we find an alternative and say that it was nothing more than a small, friendly squabble." As if there could be such a thing between me and anyone else. Trinette would be suspicious, but if Landis and I agreed on a story, then what could she say? "If it were only to save my hide, I would not care, but if you tell the reason why we had our little spat to your Dowayne, Landis." Like the coward you are, I thought, though had just enough will to not say aloud, "Then Anixiel will be in trouble as well. Her and I have had copulations outside of assignations. It has already been rumored." Just because we spent time together, that was all.
"It'll be an easily believed story. I would be willing to take the blame, even stand in on the punishment on her behalf but..." I knew that she would never let me. I folded my arms over my chest, "Laugh all you will, Mandrake."
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 14, 2009 23:49:05 GMT -5
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, so now you play the selfless hero? After insisting that Anixiel bed no one save yourself?" My laugh was bitter. "You should not assume that you know so much about me, my dear Valerian. I am sure Anixiel would be able to tell you a few things about me that you, in your arrogance, have failed to see..."
I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. "As for punishment, as far as I am concerned, Anixiel will not be punished for obeying the dictates of her heart. 'Love as thou wilt' is not a suggestion, after all. Besides, I am not the Dowayne, and there is no telling what they will do once they find out." I shrugged. "Besides, perhaps a day in the stocks will teach you to think before you speak..."
I glanced at Anixiel, my expression softening as I reached across the table to take her hand. "I am sure you have nothing to worry about, sweet."
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 15, 2009 11:43:20 GMT -5
"You're just as arrogant as ever, Landis!" I snarled, grinding my teeth down and trying to keep from tackling him right from where he sat. "Love as thou wilt is not a suggestion and yet adepts who bed those who are not their patrons when they are not fully marqued are whipped all the time. Douleur no Valerian was just publicly whipped at our House for that." I scowled a little when he mentioned a day in the stocks. To me, that public humiliation that lasted a day was more than a score of lashes.
When he took her hand though, I slapped it away. "Can you not keep your hands to yourself until we get this settled, Mandrake?!"
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Post by Anixiel nó Valerian on Sept 16, 2009 1:23:00 GMT -5
I watched, wide-eyed again as the two exchanged words, Sinclair removing Landis' hand from mine. I stood, and began to pace, feeling my heartbeat rise as I tried to escape this mess in my mind, knowing the attempt would be futile.
I felt something else rising within me as well, disdain, anger, feelings I did not harbour often, feelings that did not make me feel at all myself.
"If either of you care for me you will stop with these underhanded, snide, barbed remarks," I said, pleading more than commanding, as I stopped and turned to face them. "Or... or you will leave with nothing but hurt pride and loss," I said, more strongly. "I cannot have two grown men causing fights and getting themselves into trouble over something as silly as... as...," me? I thought to myself but did not voice it, knowing that the two would jump to defend the merit of their feelings. But truly, I was not worth it. They would move on eventually, the two of them, to someone better suited, no matter how I cared for either or both of them, or how they felt about me.
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 16, 2009 21:44:27 GMT -5
She had not finished her statement, and yet I found I still had to swallow my anger. "You are not silly, Anixiel, charming, beautiful, intelligent, perhaps, but not silly--never silly." I smiled. "I try not to concern myself with silly things."
I glanced at Sinclair. "I do not question your choice of lovers, Anixiel, nor would I have you choose between us, because, frankly, I do not fight battles I cannot win." I shrugged. "As I have said before, I would be happy to share if you would consent to it, but it seems you have chosen to love the one Valerian who bears a strange sort of hatred towards me. Perhaps the gods are playing some cruel practical joke on me."
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 19, 2009 1:13:33 GMT -5
"Anixiel, stop it," I snapped when she dared say that she was anything but amazing. She was calling herself silly and saying that she was not worth fighting for. It grated my nerves. Did she honestly think that I would get into such a scuffle, risk my pride, march all the way and take a hit as well as a chance to get in so much trouble just for something 'silly'? She meant so much more to me and though I could not voice it, I wondered why she could not see it in my actions. I ground my teeth down as Landis tried playing the role of the 'understanding' lover and I would not have it.
"Shut up, Landis," I snarled and turned to Anixiel and grasped her hand. "Is that what you want, Anixiel?" Did she truly want him? If she did, what could I do to stop her if that was who she wanted, but I would not have it. I could not have it. Either I had all of her or none of her, but I knew I could not force her to be with me, I would not force her to be with me. I found myself gripping her hand in almost a death like vice grip. "Tell me that you want both Landis and me. I want to hear it."
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Post by Anixiel nó Valerian on Sept 19, 2009 10:00:01 GMT -5
I looked from one to the other, wondering if, if I wished hard enough, whether the Gods would grant me it and make me invisible.
Sinclair grasped my hand, nigh grinding the bones, and I stiffled a whince, though from the minute pain blossomed a light of arousal, even as I tried to fight it down, ashamed of my body's reaction, the only outward display of it a blush. I shook, feeling myself tremble, as I stood silently, looking from Sinclair to Landis, and back again.
This was all my fault.
Though I did ponder why Avianna was not summoned here. I had had a reciprocal with her, and she too was of Mandrake House. I looked to Sinclair. I needed answers.
"Why Landis?" I asked as I looked at him, trying to will my body to ignore the pain in my hand. "Avianna is not here... why just Landis?" I whispered. Everyone was expecting answers from me, but I had a few questions of my own.
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Post by Sinclair nó Valerian on Sept 22, 2009 2:09:58 GMT -5
( sorry I didn't realize it was my post)
When Anixiel winced, I instantly released her and stepped back, in horror and in shock of what I had just done and I chewed on my bottom lip. I hated this action instantly, for I was sure I seemed truly a Valerian and I could recall what Trinette had seen in me, what the Mandrake Dowayne had seen in me as well. I had never been fit to be in Mandrake House, my mannerisms were different, the way I thought. The transition, however, had just been much more humiliating than if I had been transferred from say, Orchis to Eglantine. It was as if I had submitted to all of my peers, everyone I had grown up with.
When Anixiel asked that question, all those thoughts swarmed in my mind. I wasn't sure how to say it either. I supposed, part of me blamed him for this all. "Landis and I never got along when we... when I lived in Mandrake House." I wasn't sure if Anixiel knew my background. I did not talk about it much, nor my parents, nor anything about before Valerian. "He always thought he was right... arrogant bastard," I said the last part underneath my breath but I'm sure he heard it, I didn't care. "He told me I belonged in Valerian House and I didn't want to believe him... it was only awhile past before I was switched."
Even though I knew it was irrational for I really belonged in Valerian, I could still feel a part of me screaming that it was his fault. It felt idiotic, I know, but my feelings always lived long and died hard.
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Post by Anixiel nó Valerian on Sept 23, 2009 6:54:35 GMT -5
"I ... see....," I whispered as I looked from Sinclair to Landis, then to Sinclair. I had heard rumours that Sin had started out in Mandrake, and he had this roughness about him that most Valerians did not that I could see belonging to someone of Mandrake House, but I could also see the Valerian in him, I had seen it on a couple of occassions, I guess when he had let my guard slip.
"There is no shame in being a Valerian," I said looking at Sin, "or a Mandrake, or going from one house to the other," I said looking to Landis. "I cannot make you like each other," I murmured, "but ... I don't want to be made to choose." I looked to Sinclair, "you and I," I said with a shake of my head and a smile, "we are what we are, yet there is something so strong between us, it cannot be denied. And you and I," I said looking to Landis, his green eyes, red locks and all the calmness in the world, "we also have something special that cannot be duplicated." I sighed softly. "So to answer the question, yes, I do want you both. This is hard for me.... I feel.. selfish," I admitted in a small voice. "I shouldn't want for anything, let alone two men, two unmarqued adepts," I said shaking my head. "But I cannot help how I feel if I am to at least be true to myself," I murmured. "I am sorry."
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Post by Landis d'Ames nó Mandrake on Sept 24, 2009 12:51:27 GMT -5
"You have nothing to apologize for, Anixiel," I said, folding my arms across my chest. "'Tis not your fault that your lovers have a...history...with each other..." I glanced at Sinclair, a small smile starting to creep onto my face. "Shall we put the past behind us, Sinclair? Or must we continue to distress Anixiel?"
I wasn't certain that he wasn't going to slap it away, but I held out my hand anyways. Do it for her sake, you idiot, if for naught else, do it for her sake.
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