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Post by Guy de Layne on May 23, 2009 15:23:16 GMT -5
Rochelle had been feeling a bit off this past week, and her parents had decided that she needed to spend the day in bed. I was given the day to myself, as the family felt quite secure in their own home. I might have argued, but my employer was the type who always thought he knew best, and so I held my tongue and took the day off.
I had been struggling with thoughts of Sandrine since the first time I'd dreamt of her, which hadn't been the last. I kept myself as busy as I could, devoting more time than usual to my training, the only thing that gave me peace. I'd seen my sisters, and wasted half of the visit questioning Sophine about Sandrine. Her concern was evident, though she said nothing. Dyan, for her part, had barely noticed. I shook my head, walking through the Palace Gardens and hoping that I might clear my head with some fresh air and a change of scenery.
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on May 23, 2009 23:09:56 GMT -5
I did not often wander around the Palace gardens, but I could think of no other place that I wanted to visit in the City. I suppose I could have seen if Sarielle wished to do something, but I could not help feeling that her time was better spent doing other things. I could not remember a time since the Plague when I had ever been this bored--I had even done two sets of training exercises, for Elua's sake!
A flash of gray drew my eyes, and I held a hand to my forehead so that I could better see the figure. Probably just one of the guards going about their business--
I looked again, and my heart seemed to want to leap from my chest--was that another Cassiline?
I quickened my pace. No, my eyes weren't deceiving me, he was either a genuine Brother--or he knew enough to play the part. He certainly moved like a Cassiline. I would operate under the assumption that he was a Brother, and trust that some god or demon was not playing a cruel trick on me.
"Well met, Brother!" I called as soon as I was within hearing distance. "'Tis a fine day for a stroll, is it not?"
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Post by Guy de Layne on May 23, 2009 23:36:39 GMT -5
I was so engrossed in thought that I hadn't noticed the other Cassiline until he hailed me. I cursed inwardly, if the man had been an enemy I'd likely be dead right now. City living was making me soft; or was it that my head was too full of Sandrine?
"It is, Brother, it is!" I said, feeling my heart lightening at the familiar sight of another Cassiline. I hadn't even realized that I missed being around the Brothers until I saw one in the flesh. I wondered if he was here on an assignment, as I was, or if this was one of the Queen's Cassilines. Either way, I was happy to see a somewhat familiar face.
"I picked a fortuitous day to wander the Palace grounds." I said, when the Brother drew closer. "Guy de Layne." I said, by way of introduction, greeting the Brother with a wide smile on my lips.
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on May 24, 2009 6:27:36 GMT -5
"Emile d'Ames," I replied, returning his smile. His name didn't sound familiar to me, even though he looked to be close to me in age. Perhaps he had been trained in another Province. "I don't often wander the Palace grounds, so it would seem that the day is fortuitous for both of us. It has been a long while since I've seen another Brother."
I jerked my head to the side, indicating some trees. "Shall we sit in the shade? The heat has been intolerable lately."
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Post by Guy de Layne on May 24, 2009 13:38:06 GMT -5
"Yes, it is a bit hot today, isn't it?" I followed him over to the shade, settling down on a bench nearby. I didn't recognize the man, or the name, though it wasn't as if we all knew each other.
"It hasn't been quite so long for me, though the long days in the City make it seem longer." I said, chuckling softly. "City living is quite a bit different than anything I've experienced thus far. How long have you been assigned here?"
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on May 26, 2009 23:21:47 GMT -5
I stroked my chin thoughtfully. "I was here during the Plague, but then after that I left for Kusheth to visit my family. Atimes it seems to me that time is meaningless outside the City of Elua--it passes so quickly!" I chuckled. "As for the City, it was hard for me to adjust at first, so you are not alone in that sense, Brother." I sighed. "For a Cassiline in such a place, loneliness takes other forms..." I cocked my head to the side, watching his reaction. "Do you understand me, Brother Guy?"
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Post by Guy de Layne on May 27, 2009 12:30:16 GMT -5
I wasn't sure that I did, but uncomfortable memories of Sandrine surfaced and it made me wonder if I wasn't the only Cassiline to suffer these temptations. I wasn't sure about broaching the subject with a man I'd only just met, but then, if I couldn't share with a Brother, what hope did I have of getting over her?
"It has been difficult, that is for certain." I sighed, looking at Emile and praying that he had some answers for me. "Have you ever been tempted?"
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on May 30, 2009 23:14:21 GMT -5
Have you ever been tempted? Such simple words, and yet such words carried ramifications that I did not want to think about. "I think we all have been tempted at one point, my Brother," I replied after a moment of silence. "Only Cassiel is immune to such things, I think. Mayhap it is to be expected, living in a nation like Terre d'Ange."
I gave him a smile that I hoped was reassuring. "The Queen once said to me that I was a Cassiline, but that I was also a man." Ah, yes, and I had had my fill of being a man with Sarielle--a stunt which I was not going to repeat. Perhaps now that I knew another Brother was in the City, I could better control my urges. Ironic, that someone should ask me about temptation...
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 1, 2009 20:48:43 GMT -5
I sighed, looking down at my hands, spread helplessly before me. "I can honestly say that before coming here, I have never once been tempted." Of course, I hadn't spent that much time in a place full of beautiful women, but it was more than that. I passed a hundred beauties everyday on the street, and none of them so much as turned my head ... only Sandrine.
Emile's words were somewhat reassuring, and I kept telling myself that my infatuation with Sandrine would pass. Also a man... It was more true than I wanted to admit. "I suppose the Queen makes sense." I said, smiling ruefully. "I just haven't faced this before ... it's nerve-wracking."
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on Jun 2, 2009 15:29:41 GMT -5
I nodded. "I understand, brother. The City...changes people, and I do not think our instructors adequately prepare us for life in a city such as this one. It is one thing to be prepared to protect our wards, but I think they forget that we must also stay close to those we protect." I glanced in the direction of the doorway I had used to come out here. "The palace was daunting enough for me, but the City of Elua--I thought I was going to faint when I first walked through those gates!" I chuckled softly.
"Ah, but now we have each other, do we not?" I continued. Forgive me, brother, but it will be nice to know that someone else in this City is missing out on the festivities on the Longest Night--I confess I enjoy a little revelry now and then, but then, the Queen tells me that I am an odd Cassiline, and I have not yet decided whether that was meant as a compliment or an insult."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 2, 2009 22:12:56 GMT -5
I agreed with Emile's assessment about our training, and nodded. "Yes, I definitely think they could spend more time on surviving life in the City." I said with a wry smile. "It is not that the people are so different, people are people, where ever they are, but I think the sheer numbers make it much more likely to run into problems."
I chuckled when Emile brought up the longest night, though I myself never minded the vigil, and in fact welcomed it. "Ah, unlike myself, a very typical Cassiline, and quite out of place at social events." I chuckled, and tried to imagine what it might be like to hold such conversations with the Queen. "I imagine she meant it as a compliment, though without knowing her, I am only guessing." I teased lightly.
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on Jun 2, 2009 22:43:49 GMT -5
I grinned. "She is friendly enough. Although, sometimes I forget that she is a Queen..." I quickly glanced around to verify that no one was close enough to overhear. "My training masters would say that I need to discipline my tongue, perhaps I have grown lax in the City." Lax indeed! Would that I could tell him what I was really going through! Even a trip to my home province had not assuaged my feelings.
Would that I had never met that Shahrizai woman!
And yet, I liked Sarielle. She had cared for me when I was in need. I could not blame my own weakness on her, my own senselessness. There had to be a way that I could save face and quell these feelings of guilt, there had to be...
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 4, 2009 21:31:17 GMT -5
"Well, though she is the Queen, she is a person nonetheless, and not a very old one, at that." I chuckled when he mentioned what the training masters might say and I had to nod in agreement. "I wonder if they think about what trials we Brothers will face here in the City, and if they have prepared as much as they can. I, for one, cannot think of anything that might have been taught to us that would have prepared me for being here."
If the truth were told, it wasn't the City - it was Sandrine. Nothing else here meant anything to me, but one look into her eyes, one touch of her skin, one kiss of her lips and I felt hopelessly adrift and more tempted than I ever would have believed possible. What teaching could prepare a man for that?
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on Jun 6, 2009 9:13:18 GMT -5
I considered his words. "Do you think mayhap someone should hear of our travails in the City?" As I thought about it, I realized how futile the endeavor would likely be.
"Emile," I began, mimicking the deep voice of my training master. "You need to resist temptation, and if you cannot stop yourself from admiring D'Angeline women, then your eyes should be put out." I chuckled. "It sounds like something the man would say."
I stroked my chin thoughtfully. "I would hate to go to the Queen with this issue, but I fear the monarchy is the only power the Brotherhood would listen to--barring a visit from Cassiel himself."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 7, 2009 15:19:17 GMT -5
"I wonder if they already know? I cannot believe that those most learned men do not realize how much more temptation there is here, perhaps they believe those of us assigned here are capable of resisting?" I felt a flush of shame at the thought that I could be letting down the men who had trained me.
Emile's imitation brought a laugh, however, as it was dead on most of the training masters I had ever known. "Easy enough for mine to say - he is so old, any part of him that would be tempted has long since shriveled up and fallen of!"
I shook my head at thoughts of the Queen, who could not possibly understand us, or the issues facing men of our sort. "I don't know that it would help, it would likely only get the Prefect's back up and end up with you being relieved of your post. My thought is that when I return to the monastery, perhaps I will take it upon myself to meditate upon a better way of preparing young men for these challenges. One day I might be a training master myself, and there I may make myself useful."
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Émile d’Ames
Military
Anathema Cassiline; Guard to the Queen
"To conquer oneself is a greater victory than to conquer thousands in a battle.?
Posts: 463
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Post by Émile d’Ames on Jul 1, 2009 11:49:57 GMT -5
I could not stop myself from grinning. "I commend you for desiring to take up that particular vocation," I said. "I myself would not have the patience, I think it must be in my blood. I was never the best at following instructions, let alone teaching the techniques to others." I smiled fondly as the memories that I had of my first years with the Brotherhood came back to me.
I shifted my gaze towards Guy, my expression turning serious again. "At times, I have to wonder why I was chosen for this post, perhaps my instructors only wanted to be rid of me, so they reasoned that spending time at the Palace would cool my temperament," I shrugged. "I do not think they were very successful, if that was their goal."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jul 1, 2009 23:42:34 GMT -5
I chuckled as Emile spoke of his lack of patience and difficulty adhering to instruction. "You must have been the bane of your instructors!" As for myself, I had always been what was expected of me: a model son, a model student, a model Cassiline. Until now.
"Well, if it is working, then perhaps they are on to something?" I smiled slightly and shook my head. "I like to think that there is a reason for all that occurs, and that wiser heads than mine know what they are about. It may be wishful thinking, but at times it gives me peace."
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