Post by Lorelei nó Alyssum (I) on May 7, 2009 20:53:53 GMT -5
I felt the drumming music of the harp thrum though me as I sat quietly on the cushion. My fingers moved across the instrument with precision. My emerald eyes were closed but I could hear the moving of adepts around me. I felt the pressure of the strings and tugged, their sound filling my ears. I would often find myself here, thinking. It had been a bad day and the guilt was eating me again. Sometimes it would fade and at others it was beating against my shores like the ocean. I opened my eyes, looking at the ground in front of me at the beautifully designed rug on the floor. It was simple though, for we were Alyssum. Though I was looking at the rug I was years away, looking into my father's dark eyes.
“Tell your father goodbye, young one,” the Dowayne had said with a sad smile. Looking towards him I felt my heart swell as he knelt to each of my siblings that had been chosen. He smiled at them, teared up even, kissed each of them on the cheek and hugged them close. He whispered their names fiercely.
“Make me proud,” he had said.
“I love you,” he had told them and then he knelt next to me. He put his one hand on the side of my head and I leaned my face against his palm, wet tears running through the dirt and grime on his hands that he couldn't get clean. It was harder for him to look at me. For I was spitting image of her, the one he couldn't have anymore. The woman I had killed just by being born. Of course, as a child I hadn't understood this. I only knew my father said, “I will miss you, Lorelei.”
And then he had stood and walked away from us. I cried then for him, asking him to wait, screaming that I loved him. Catching his shirt he turned to me and his eyes were no longer filled with tears, “Lorelei! Go back and behave! You need to listen and learn.”
Taken aback with a little fear I went back towards the Dowayne and sat on the floor, terrified and hurt. I was hurt for some time, six months really, before the Dowayne upset with me and tired of trying, sold my marque to the Alyssum house, thinking me better suited. Here I found the quiet and peace that my soul craved, though it would never soothe my guilt. Here I was able to understand more of the guilt and the modesty that I carried with me. I knew myself as plain though many had said I was breathtaking. I felt myself of average intelligence though my teachers and tutors said I excelled. I thought of myself as a decent adept, but I had kept many patrons coming back for more.
Sighing, I broke off the playing and leaned back a little, bringing my eyes past the adepts up to the ceiling, catching the sun in through the windows. Closing my eyes I felt the sun's rays settle on my pale skin. It was good to be Alyssum and despite my mood, I still felt heavy with guilt.
“Tell your father goodbye, young one,” the Dowayne had said with a sad smile. Looking towards him I felt my heart swell as he knelt to each of my siblings that had been chosen. He smiled at them, teared up even, kissed each of them on the cheek and hugged them close. He whispered their names fiercely.
“Make me proud,” he had said.
“I love you,” he had told them and then he knelt next to me. He put his one hand on the side of my head and I leaned my face against his palm, wet tears running through the dirt and grime on his hands that he couldn't get clean. It was harder for him to look at me. For I was spitting image of her, the one he couldn't have anymore. The woman I had killed just by being born. Of course, as a child I hadn't understood this. I only knew my father said, “I will miss you, Lorelei.”
And then he had stood and walked away from us. I cried then for him, asking him to wait, screaming that I loved him. Catching his shirt he turned to me and his eyes were no longer filled with tears, “Lorelei! Go back and behave! You need to listen and learn.”
Taken aback with a little fear I went back towards the Dowayne and sat on the floor, terrified and hurt. I was hurt for some time, six months really, before the Dowayne upset with me and tired of trying, sold my marque to the Alyssum house, thinking me better suited. Here I found the quiet and peace that my soul craved, though it would never soothe my guilt. Here I was able to understand more of the guilt and the modesty that I carried with me. I knew myself as plain though many had said I was breathtaking. I felt myself of average intelligence though my teachers and tutors said I excelled. I thought of myself as a decent adept, but I had kept many patrons coming back for more.
Sighing, I broke off the playing and leaned back a little, bringing my eyes past the adepts up to the ceiling, catching the sun in through the windows. Closing my eyes I felt the sun's rays settle on my pale skin. It was good to be Alyssum and despite my mood, I still felt heavy with guilt.