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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 10, 2006 4:51:56 GMT -5
I awoke to a summons from the Dowayne and quickly dressed. Quickly throwing on a simple gown and tyeing the sash on my way out of my rooms not wanting to make him wait on me long. He had a tendency to forget things and I didn't want for his thoughts to wander too much before I arrived.
Reaching his door I knocked lightly and entered upon his summons.
"Good to see you, Xaurora. How have you been?" I smiled, and went along with his light chatter answering his aimless questions to get to the point.
"Now why did I ask you to come?" He mused, gaining a hand upon his thoughts, "Oh yes, you have a patron that has called for your services."
I thought as much and smiled."What a nice surprise, may I ask who?" I queried.
"Oh, about that, your patron has asked to remain anonymous for this assignation. They have however left a very generous purse for your fee and asks you to sign this before they arrive this afternoon." Octavier said. I simply nodded, some of my patrons wished to remain anonymous and I didn't mind, not that I was one to gossip but if it is their whim I shall conceed to their wishes.
"Of course," I said, penning my name on the contract. "I shall make myself ready then," I added, smiling sweetly at the Dowayne before bidding my farewell.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 19, 2006 17:19:42 GMT -5
I wasn't sure why I'd chosen to remain anonymous, but it had struck me as an idea and I followed it- it never paid to ignore one's instincts. The memories of my brothers and parents had become more haunting in my time within my city home and the only relief I found was my excursions outside it.
The room I occupied was nice enough, though I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings- I only waited for the adept and tried to relax.
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 19, 2006 18:11:07 GMT -5
The day was already half over before I left the Dowayne, and I noticed that the agreed time was quickly approaching as I passed the hall clock on my way to my room, so I decided to change my attire, wanting to make a lasting first impression with my patron.
I chose a slender loose fitting gown of soft blues and greens that was airy and dreamlike, one of my favorites. It had short sleeves and a low neckline, with almost no back to it, with a skirt made up of yards and yards of fabric that made it even more mystical. If anything it was the simplest gown I had besides my day wear gowns that were worn with simple corsets or tied with simple sashes, this one didn't require anything at all. I drew the silky material over my naked form, settling the sleeves on my shoulders and fluffing my hair, pinning up one side with a blue hair pin. I smiled at my reflection and added the littlest bit of rouge to my lips before leaving my quarters.
Once again passing the hall clock which read seven minutes till the hour I reached the assignation chamber and knocked at the door, waiting patiently for an answer before entering.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 19, 2006 18:15:56 GMT -5
I responded slowly to the knock on the door, another sign that I wasn't quite myself- my training had instilled quick reflexes into my very bones. "Come in," I called, then waited for the adept's entry, hoping their appearance wouldn't be too intimidating for me to express myself easily.
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 19, 2006 18:30:37 GMT -5
I quietly opened the doore and entered the room, standing facing my patron as I closed the door behind me with one hand. "Hello," I said softly, a gentle smile touching my lips, and waited for him to make the next move. I was here at his request and I was willing to wait for his permission to open my mind to him.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 19, 2006 18:46:13 GMT -5
"Hello," I replied, smiling though my expression was slightly tired and heartworn. "I'm Landis. What's your name?" She was very lovely and I felt myself starting to relax as I slipped into a familiar feeling of charming playfulness. "It seems I got lucky in my choice. Aren't you usually busy chasing away admirers?" I teased.
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 19, 2006 18:56:57 GMT -5
I could tell that he was a little nervous at first, but he relaxed as soon as he saw me and I was glad, "I am Xaurora, and yes, usually I have quite a few admirers. But we are here for you, Landis. What is it that you desire to understand about yourself?" I asked, gliding closer to him and responding to his playful teasing with a smile.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 19, 2006 19:01:09 GMT -5
Almost immediately we were back to the problem and I felt myself just barely stiffen. "I suppose I just want to know why I'm so affected by the memories of my dead family at this point in time," I said slowly. "I have a feeling that moving back to my city home had something to do with it, but even though I have reconciled with that it keeps haunting me. I'd like to know why."
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 19, 2006 20:23:40 GMT -5
I had felt a natural affinity to him the moment I saw him and now I knew why. He and I had a similar past, both of us had lived through the deaths of our family, and having lost those we loved most had changed us both; though each in our own way.
I took his admission as a signal to open my mind to his, and I did so gently, meeting his with a light touch, questioning his thoughts. What I found there was like and unlike what I had once gone through and I felt for him.
"There is a deep sense of loss that I feel in you. One that you have carried for a long time and it pains you to think of those you have lost." I spoke gently and calmly, delicately withdrawing my touch to just a light touch, a tendril of thought that left me open to what he was feeling on the surface. "Would you like to sit?" I asked, smiling and gesturing to the bed. "It might be easier for you to express your feelings in a more comfortable position."
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 19, 2006 21:01:50 GMT -5
Nodding, I managed to sit, thinking about what she'd said. "My older brother died when I was nine, my younger brother a couple years later- my parents when I was nineteen," I told her, thinking that details may be useful. "It very much altered the way my life would have been lived. Before, I was the middle son, for Cassiel, but then I became the heir."
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 19, 2006 21:24:03 GMT -5
"Ah, yes." I said, letting him tell me the details while I let his feelings wash over my mind. Every movement he made gave me insight into his personality; the graceful way he moved and how he carried himself. Each expression of his inner self I interpreted as emotions and it let me see that he had done his utmost to put his past behind him and live on without his family.
I moved to the table beside the bed and poured the tea I used to let my patrons express their thoughts and emotions more fully in their dreams "I can see that you loved your family very much, and that you miss them dearly." There was an unmistakable flaw there that let me see that the pain of his loss was still there, cutting him deeply, and even now troubling his waking thoughts. "Here, this will help to bring your troubled thoughts to the surface and let your waking self see them for what they are and then we can discover the heart and the truth of your pain." I said, offering him the waking-dream tea.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 19, 2006 21:56:00 GMT -5
Taking the tea I siped it, then hid a grimace at the poppy-sweet taste, but continued to drink. "Thank you," I told her, letting the cup warm my hands. "This will be painful in some sense, won't it?" I couldn't help but think of Coretta, how she was so close to the same position I was in; perhaps I could help my young friend with my own experience.
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 19, 2006 22:32:37 GMT -5
"It will be, yes, but not as intensly painful as it was when it happened. Time has let a numbing blanket settle over your memories and the only real pain will be in disturbing the relationship you have with the past, brining it to the forefront of your mind to awaken your feelings from that time." I said, acknowleging the discomfort most feel at disturbing their memories, and cautioning him as to the difference.
"The rawness of your emotions from that time will be uncomfortable, but it will also let you see them for what they are and understand them. And I will be there to help you understand them. Now, let your body relax and your dreams will come to you." I said gently, taking the empty cup from his hand.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 19, 2006 22:35:54 GMT -5
Nodding seriously I took a deep breath, then closed my eyes, feeling my senses begin to swim and trying to relax into it, though my body protested. I knew it woudl come as more of the liquid worked its way into my blood and mind, but for now it was slightly disconcerting. "I trust you, do what you need to," I told her, then let go.
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Dec 24, 2006 18:56:48 GMT -5
I sat beside him and watched him as he fell into a waking sleep, dreaming yet conscious of his own thoughts and emotions although from a distance. I followed him into his dreams and helped him viusualize our goal.
'Where are you Landis, where do you see yourself?' I asked, sinking my own mind into his, my eyes closing to better concentrate on his thoughts. 'Tell me what you see.'
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Dec 25, 2006 23:22:14 GMT -5
"I'm playing with one of the hounds in a field near my family's home- there are mountains in the distance." I knew this memory, hid from it often. "I think it's right before my father arrived to tell me my elder brother had died."
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Jan 3, 2007 12:08:05 GMT -5
I listened to his recollection and began to softly hum a tune, letting the sound of it sooth him as I let him speak, deepening the bond between us untill I could see through his eyes. 'Good, now just let them come to you.' I said, my mind touching his gently, feeling what he felt and letting his emotions wash over me.
'I am here with you, don't forget me, Landis. Trust yourself to see this through, don't fear it. There is nothing to be afraid of, the past cannot hurt you any more.' I said, still humming lightly.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Jan 3, 2007 20:48:24 GMT -5
"he comes and tells me and sorrow- but that isn't what bothers me," I tell her as I watch myself. "I'm angry at my brother for leaving me with his place in the succession, for not letting me go on to be a Cassiline. I shouldn't be mad- after all, he's dead."
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Jan 8, 2007 2:29:44 GMT -5
'It is only natural, you weren't raised for it. Don't be upset with yourself for being angry at him. You have done well taking his place, he would be proud of you.' I counciled him, letting my words just come to me now, not planning on what to say but listening to his heart and letting him know what he needed to hear.
'Tell me more, Landis, what comes next.' I said, leading him along his own path.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Jan 9, 2007 18:10:11 GMT -5
"A trip to the City with my remaining brother, Louis, the youngest of us," I replied, seeing it before me. It's only about a year later. he falls slightly ill, but it seems to be nothing, safe enough for him to travel home, where he dies. Since then I can't help but be outside as much as possible, trying to escape."
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Jan 9, 2007 18:20:58 GMT -5
I could feel his sorrow, the tradgety of loss that had shaken him to the core. 'Being able to distance yourself from a thing lets you change perspective and let the grieving process give you a chance to heal, but you weren't able to, were you?' I asked gently, knowing that he had not been given enough time to mourn his loss.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Jan 9, 2007 18:32:32 GMT -5
"It's been years, that should be time," I told her. "Every day I escaped, never really thinking about it deeply. I climbed mountains and hiked dangerous terrain, learned to fight and kept busy with lovers so I wouldn't die without doing anything with my life. I was too busy to grieve, I guess."
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Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Jan 16, 2007 1:30:35 GMT -5
'That makes sense, of course. It seems that this distance is what has led your memories to haunt you. You haven't taken the time to grieve, to really feel the loss, yes you feel the pain and you shy away from thinking on your loss, but it seems that you might need to deal with this and let yourself mourn. You need the closure, Landis, that is the heart of your suffering." I told him, my huming sounding a little sad even to me, probably picking up on Landis' feelings.
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Post by Landis de Verreuil on Jan 16, 2007 19:45:18 GMT -5
"Closure is telling them goodbye, which I cannot do, since they are always with me in some way or another," I told her matter-of-factly. "They live everywhere I live, residing in my memories. I can forget things about them, but never they themselves- and why should I want to? Couldn't I just find a way to live in peace with them?"
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