Post by Xaurora Areleous nó Gentian on Oct 10, 2006 1:04:37 GMT -5
I was still very young when I started dreaming of things that came true. I remember my first was the loss of my favorite pet when I was four. I dreamed that he went off into the woods one night and was caught by wolves.
I woke that night screaming with fright and crying for my dog and father came to me and told me it was just a dream and that Duc was there by my bed wondering what was wrong. Relieved I stroked his soft head and felt better.
I soon fell asleep in my father's arms and thought nothing of it till later that week when I couldn't find Duc. While I was searching for him I had a thought that he had wandered off chasing a rabbit and had ran off into the woods. I started crying saying that he was missing and ran to my father to tell him to go search for him.
Later that evening my father came back from the woods with nothing and I knew that Duc was gone. But that was only the beginning of my dreams.
When I was a little older I started seeing fire in my dreams and would wake up in a cold sweat, crying. Usually I would be able to go back to sleep afterwards but eventually the dream became so intense that I couldn't return to a peaceful state upon waking.
One night as I lay asleep in my bed I began dreaming of the fire swirling around me, making me choke and cough. My eyes hurt and they streamed with tears. My dream self got out of bed and hurriedly ran to my parents’ rooms, but the hallway just past my room was already engulfed in flames.
I screamed their names, trying to wake them but was chased down the corridor by the heat of the fire. I was soon forced to abandon the second floor of the house and search for a way out of the house. Hoping to find my mother and father outside I hurried to the court yard out front.
I found no one and I glanced back at the house considering returning inside to find my parents. All I could see was the entire east wing raging in flames. So I stood there and watched, crying and calling out for my parents.
Soon it became clear to me that this was no dream, our house was really on fire. I stood there in shock, tears streaming down my face my sobs caught in my throat. My family was gone; there was no escaping that fire.
The maids from the west wing found me outside the house and took me in their arms and tried to comfort me. I was too terrified to listen to them and I just let my tears roll down my face, saying over and over, “the fire, the fire.” I eventually passed out in their company and they brought me with them to a neighboring house.
I woke the next afternoon to see my father’s old friend and benefactor standing before me. Apparently they had let me sleep in the spare bedroom and I was grateful. “Hello,” I said sadly, greeting Bauldouin.
“Hello sweetheart,” He said quietly, concern crossing his brow and tears glistening in his eyes. He crossed the distance between us and came to give me a hug. “I am so sorry for your loss, Xaurora, I just wish there was something I could say or do to make it all go away.” In his arms I finally let go of my composure and cried, sobbing onto his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, too. I thought that I was having a bad dream again, I couldn’t see any way to get to them, and I tried, I tried! But there was nothing but fire every where I went, except outside, and that’s when I realized it wasn’t a dream.” I said after my crying abated.
“I know sweetheart, I know. It’s not your fault, honey. You have to realize that; you can’t go on blaming yourself for this.” He said.
“But I had been dreaming about it for days beforehand, and I didn’t think it was anything but a dream. I could have done something.” I cried, tears streaming down my face again.
“Oh, Xaurora, I didn’t know.” He said to me, holding me close. ‘Oh Elua, what a terrible thing to have experienced that night after night only to wake and find it true, Gods help her,’ He thought, ‘Don’t let this break her spirit.’
He held me for awhile just letting me cry and when I felt there were no more tears to come I leaned back from him. “Thank you for being here,” I said, wiping my eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done if you were not here for me.”
‘She sounds so much older than she looks,’ He thought, “My dear, I would never leave you alone. Your father entrusted you to me if anything were to happen to them.” He said, and I blinked back tears at the mention of him. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He said, placing a hand on my shoulder. ‘Only eight years old and she no longer sounds like a child. Elua please, please let her recover from this.’ He prayed, silently admonishing the gods to take care of me.
“I will be strong, everything will work out alright, and it has to because you’re here.” I said at last, wrapping my arms around him but still wishing it was my father. “I’m not alone if you’re here.” I said, still wishing I had been able to do something to save my parents.
Later that night I sat talking with him and he asked me if I wanted to be fostered in the Night Court. I was my decision, he said, but he did recommend that I at least visit Gentian House and meet the Dowayne. He said that Octavier knew exactly what it meant to see truth in dreams and that he had a lot that he could teach me about my dreams and how to focus them and learn from them.
I said yes, I would visit with him. I was still afraid of the power of my dreams and felt that a little more understanding would help me overcome my fear. So he set up a meeting for us to meet with him in a week.
The long and the short of it was that I decided to make Gentian my home, Bauldouin was right about Octavier knowing a great deal about dreams and seeing the truth in them and he ultimately convinced me to stay, saying that I had a very strong - if raw - talent and would like to see me progress under their teachings.
A few days later I moved into Gentian House and began my training, and I was glad to have something to occupy my my time. In the days after my parents’ funeral it was a relief to be able to focus on other things and I came to really love my life there.
Years later I realized that I had finally found my place in the world and I no longer blamed myself for my parents’ death. I had mastered my fear of my dreams and I knew that I finally had control over them and that they were no longer a thing to fear but something to be welcomed with an open mind and open heart.
I woke that night screaming with fright and crying for my dog and father came to me and told me it was just a dream and that Duc was there by my bed wondering what was wrong. Relieved I stroked his soft head and felt better.
I soon fell asleep in my father's arms and thought nothing of it till later that week when I couldn't find Duc. While I was searching for him I had a thought that he had wandered off chasing a rabbit and had ran off into the woods. I started crying saying that he was missing and ran to my father to tell him to go search for him.
Later that evening my father came back from the woods with nothing and I knew that Duc was gone. But that was only the beginning of my dreams.
When I was a little older I started seeing fire in my dreams and would wake up in a cold sweat, crying. Usually I would be able to go back to sleep afterwards but eventually the dream became so intense that I couldn't return to a peaceful state upon waking.
One night as I lay asleep in my bed I began dreaming of the fire swirling around me, making me choke and cough. My eyes hurt and they streamed with tears. My dream self got out of bed and hurriedly ran to my parents’ rooms, but the hallway just past my room was already engulfed in flames.
I screamed their names, trying to wake them but was chased down the corridor by the heat of the fire. I was soon forced to abandon the second floor of the house and search for a way out of the house. Hoping to find my mother and father outside I hurried to the court yard out front.
I found no one and I glanced back at the house considering returning inside to find my parents. All I could see was the entire east wing raging in flames. So I stood there and watched, crying and calling out for my parents.
Soon it became clear to me that this was no dream, our house was really on fire. I stood there in shock, tears streaming down my face my sobs caught in my throat. My family was gone; there was no escaping that fire.
The maids from the west wing found me outside the house and took me in their arms and tried to comfort me. I was too terrified to listen to them and I just let my tears roll down my face, saying over and over, “the fire, the fire.” I eventually passed out in their company and they brought me with them to a neighboring house.
I woke the next afternoon to see my father’s old friend and benefactor standing before me. Apparently they had let me sleep in the spare bedroom and I was grateful. “Hello,” I said sadly, greeting Bauldouin.
“Hello sweetheart,” He said quietly, concern crossing his brow and tears glistening in his eyes. He crossed the distance between us and came to give me a hug. “I am so sorry for your loss, Xaurora, I just wish there was something I could say or do to make it all go away.” In his arms I finally let go of my composure and cried, sobbing onto his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, too. I thought that I was having a bad dream again, I couldn’t see any way to get to them, and I tried, I tried! But there was nothing but fire every where I went, except outside, and that’s when I realized it wasn’t a dream.” I said after my crying abated.
“I know sweetheart, I know. It’s not your fault, honey. You have to realize that; you can’t go on blaming yourself for this.” He said.
“But I had been dreaming about it for days beforehand, and I didn’t think it was anything but a dream. I could have done something.” I cried, tears streaming down my face again.
“Oh, Xaurora, I didn’t know.” He said to me, holding me close. ‘Oh Elua, what a terrible thing to have experienced that night after night only to wake and find it true, Gods help her,’ He thought, ‘Don’t let this break her spirit.’
He held me for awhile just letting me cry and when I felt there were no more tears to come I leaned back from him. “Thank you for being here,” I said, wiping my eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done if you were not here for me.”
‘She sounds so much older than she looks,’ He thought, “My dear, I would never leave you alone. Your father entrusted you to me if anything were to happen to them.” He said, and I blinked back tears at the mention of him. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He said, placing a hand on my shoulder. ‘Only eight years old and she no longer sounds like a child. Elua please, please let her recover from this.’ He prayed, silently admonishing the gods to take care of me.
“I will be strong, everything will work out alright, and it has to because you’re here.” I said at last, wrapping my arms around him but still wishing it was my father. “I’m not alone if you’re here.” I said, still wishing I had been able to do something to save my parents.
Later that night I sat talking with him and he asked me if I wanted to be fostered in the Night Court. I was my decision, he said, but he did recommend that I at least visit Gentian House and meet the Dowayne. He said that Octavier knew exactly what it meant to see truth in dreams and that he had a lot that he could teach me about my dreams and how to focus them and learn from them.
I said yes, I would visit with him. I was still afraid of the power of my dreams and felt that a little more understanding would help me overcome my fear. So he set up a meeting for us to meet with him in a week.
The long and the short of it was that I decided to make Gentian my home, Bauldouin was right about Octavier knowing a great deal about dreams and seeing the truth in them and he ultimately convinced me to stay, saying that I had a very strong - if raw - talent and would like to see me progress under their teachings.
A few days later I moved into Gentian House and began my training, and I was glad to have something to occupy my my time. In the days after my parents’ funeral it was a relief to be able to focus on other things and I came to really love my life there.
Years later I realized that I had finally found my place in the world and I no longer blamed myself for my parents’ death. I had mastered my fear of my dreams and I knew that I finally had control over them and that they were no longer a thing to fear but something to be welcomed with an open mind and open heart.