Returning to Gentian

[Riva Carle (R)]

The closer we got to Gentian, the faster I began walking until I was practically running when we went through the doors, pulling Aleron with me.

Classes were still going on so there was no one to look askance at us as we made our out to the courtyard and then further back.

Once we reached the trees I collapsed to the ground, panting, and finally releasing his hand.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Putting aside my feelings I watched her reactions impassively, knowing that working myself into a froth over her anxiousness to come back wouldn't change anything. Gracefully I dropped to the ground across from and facing her, picking up a falled leaf and toying with it. "Why is it you feel safest here, Riva? What is it about this place?"

[Riva Carle (R)]

I looked at him, wondering how to say what I felt in a way that made any sense at all.

"Because here, the world is only this big," I said, indicating the space of the ground we sat on between the tress.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Nodding in understanding, I said, "I always felt differently- the world was too small, or at least the part of it that I could have an effect on. The world at large is what I wanted, all of my ambition being driven to that."

Leaning closer I pulled the combs from her hair, re-arranged it, and then put them back in so I could see her face clearly without her tresses in the way. "I don't think that way anymore; it seems like I am content with the smaller world and happy in it, for I have you, and you are enough of the world for me."

[Riva Carle (R)]

Reaching out, I caressed his cheek with my fingertips.

"I'm sorry I ruined our day," I said, hoping he could hear the truth in my words.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Smiling, I leaned into her hand even as mine went to caress her cheek. "I'm with you, so this is the best day since the last time I saw you," I said matter-of-factly. "There will be a thousand days and more for us someday- I'm sure of that. Unless, of course, you've changed your mind about that," I said quickly, hoping she hadn't, but willing to live one day at a time if she had.

[Riva Carle (R)]

"I haven't changed my mind," I said.

I moved over and pressed myself tight against him, my head on his chest.

This, I thought, I want this for the rest of or lives. Us, here, together, in the space between the trees that keep out the rest of the world.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Face solemn I wrapped my arms around her, contentment and fulfillment blooming in my chest and my heart beating heavily. Opening my mouth, I said, "I...I..." My throat choked around my words and, though I tried gamely to complete my statement, my mind locked up and wouldn't let me. Pain and woe should you give too much of yourself, the bitter stone voice said in my head with a warning tone, and though I tried to fight it with my will, to keep it silent, fear crept slowly through my veins. Unconsciously I hugged her to me more firmly, needing her to keep me steady so I didn't fall into a well of emotional terror.

[Riva Carle (R)]

I pressed closer, closing my eyes and willing reassurance and calm from me to him. Not that I was very calm, but I felt his need for it. I could no more say the words than he could. Once they were said it felt like a challenge to fate would be issued and we would be ripped apart.

I didn't need the words, I knew.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Feeling her reassurance I relaxed and let the feeling of her so close quiet my mind and heart. Returning double that calm that she had gifted me with to her in every way I could I said quietly, "Are you feeling better now that you're back? Is your mind quieter?"

[Riva Carle (R)]

"Yes," I said, only half lying.

I turned my head a little so that I could feel more cool air on my face.

"My stomach is unhappy though… I probably should have eaten something today if I was going to have all that wine."

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

With a grimacing smile of sympathy, I replied, "I know what you mean, and how you feel- you need to drink some water and get some food in your stomach to settle all of that alcohol. I'm sorry- if I'd known you hadn't eaten I would have advised against drinking so much. I should have asked, I don't know why I didn't."

Deftly I coiled her hair so cool breeze could touch the back of her neck. This was my fault, I should have been more careful with her. I always seemed to forget how delicate she could be and it worried me. All I cared about at the moment was making sure she felt better.

[Riva Carle (R)]

The heat and woozy feeling was getting stronger.

I sat up, kneeling on the grass and hanging my head forward in case I couldn't fight it off.

"At least this time if I get sick it will be from something I did, not something in my head," I said, smiling somewhat weakly.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Feeling horrible that she was going to get ill I quickly rearranged the combs in her hair so that it wouldn't fall in her face if she retched. "In this care you'll feel better if you just let yourself be sick- I know from personal experience," I said in sympathy as I rubbed her back. "If you are sick I'll stay with you until you feel better, I promise. After all, this is sort of my fault."

[Riva Carle (R)]

I started to shake my head, but had to quickly steady myself with my hand on the ground.

"I hate getting sick… and I don't want to do it in front of you," I said, my voice shaky,

I tried to breath deeply and force my stomach down even as it tried to crawl up my throat.

"Keep talking to me… it gives me something else to think about."

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

I wanted to shake my head and tell her no, but I was no Balm and I had no knowledge of how to act toward an ill person, so I did as she asked, reaching for a subject off of the top of my head. Still rubbing her back, I said, "Ah..do you remember that I was raised at Orchis? My parents were both adepts there and I haven't spoken to them since I was transferred out of the House after I was dedicated. They put me in Mandrake for six months but I didn't like it very much- I don't like hurting people, only avoiding them."

Keeping a part of my mind focused on my continued speech I tried to keep an eye on her, to make sure that she wasn't truly ill. Her skin was burning from the wine in her stomach and I had never felt more guilty in my life.

[Riva Carle (R)]

I tried to focus on his words, to let the sound of them calm me, but it was useless.

I jumped up, knowing I was about to be sick.

"Stay here," I told him.

Then I bolted off, out of the trees and back behind a shrub where I was truly and magnificently sick.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

In pity I watched her run off, knowing she would be embarrassed if I didn't listen to her and glad I had decided to put her hair back, since I couldn't be there to comfort her. Still, I knew that there were some people who couldn't be sick around others, so I stayed where I was, trying to use that strange inner sense to see if she really needed me. One thing was certain- I was going to stay with her tonight, even if nothing happened between us. With the luck I'd been having with assignations lately I could easily afford it, and I didn't want her to feel bad and be alone as well.

[Riva Carle (R)]

I heaved until there was absolutely nothing left to purge, and then I heaved some more. I was pretty sure that I would no longer be able to drink wine… ever.

I sat back on my heels, gathering up a few damp leaves to wipe my mouth with. Using my hands, I covered the mess I hade made with dirt and then slowly stumbled back to Aleron.

I collapsed next to him, curling into a ball and pressing close.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Wrapping my arms around Riva I hugged her close, wiping the sweat from her brow and laying a gentle kiss against her brow. "I'm sorry Riva, I didn't mean for you to get ill," I said softly. "I should take you inside so you can get some water and go to sleep, otherwise you'll feel much worse in the morning than you do now."

Still holding her against me I stood smoothly.

[Riva Carle (R)]

I gripped his shirt tightly, curling my fingers into he fabric.

"Just get me to the fountain, Hannah will be looking for me anyway, she always knows when people are sick. Balm is trying to steal her away… oh Elua… go slow or I may be sick again."

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Slowly and carefully I carried her to where she indicated, sitting down on the edge of the fountain and holding her gently. Crooning comfortingly I ran a hand over her back, trying to calm her, holding back my guilty feelings so that she wouldn't feel them as well. She needed my calm, so she would have it.

[Riva Carle (R)]

I rested my head against him, too ill to even know what he was feeling.

I heard my name being called faintly, from inside the House.

"Are you going to get in trouble for being here?" I asked him.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Shaking my head, I said, "No, I don't think so- besides, I said I would sit by your side if you got sick. I don't go back on my word, no matter the consequences. Jaiden doesn't have anything specific that I need to do, and if I have to I'll pay to stay with you until you feel better. When it comes down to it, you can pay for anything within the Night Court, and all Dowaynes have a little Bryony to them."

[Riva Carle (R)]

"Everybody says that about Dowaynes, " I observed.

Before I could say anymore, the door to the courtyard flew open and Hannah came running over.

"Riva, what happened? You're never sick! I told you to wear more clothes and shoes," Hannah said, fluttering around like a very large, blonde bee. She stopped suddenly. "Who are you?" she asked Aleron, accusingly.

"He's my friend," I told her. "I drank wine and hadn't had anything to eat… I'll be fine Hannah," I said, somewhat weakly.

She looked at him somewhat dubiously. "Fine, follow me, I'll take you to her room, we will put her to bed and I will get something for her stomach while you stay with her. Come." With that she turned around and started heading inside.

[Aleron Carle(Retired)]

Muttering softly under my breath, "Are you sure it's Balm that wants her and not Dahlia?" I gave carried Riva to her room, ignoring everyone else in the hall. More than I would have wanted to admit the blonde Gentian's look had unnerved me; I really did feel at fault for Riva's state and was anxious that she, once she felt better, would lay the fault with me as it deserved to be.

In Riva's room I lay her on the bed and pulled a sheet over her; no matter how hot she felt, her body would get chilled very easily without her realizing it. Pouring her a glass of water I gave Riva a reassuring look and handed her the liquid. "Drink some of this," I said softly.