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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 26, 2006 17:11:30 GMT -5
I was running for what felt like both a few moments and forever before I caught hold of myself, side burning and tears of pain welling in my eyes. Slowing, I looked around me and realized I was climbing the hill to the Night Court. Wryly, I smiled, then winced. It must have been because I was born and raised here.
As I walked along the houses, back and forth, I thought of what had just happened. Somewhere, things had gone terribly wrong; Jaiden had almost killed me. My side was beginning to throb, and I knew I couldn't walk much further. I had to find somewhere to stop and rest, but nowhere here would take me anymore. The brown-haired Gentian's voice echoed in my ears- Your ink is new, but it's all there...you no longer belong among the night blooms.
For the first time since my childhood I was lost and confused, so much so that I wanted to cry. Still, I held the tears back, looking around with that same impassive mask I'd used since I was young to keep the world out. No one had ever understood me, no one knew my story...but the girl from Gentian could touch it.
Knowing my chances of catching her there again were slight I limped up to the courtyard and into the copse of trees, hiding myself in the cover and sitting cross-legged, head bowed as I tried to collect myself. This setting reminded me of coming here, of seeing the girl, of a stolen kiss in trees and the fact that I had to leave anyway. It should be nothing to me; somehow, my long-unused heart remembered.
Brooding on it I let the thoughts of that short time drift through my mind, wondering if she knew I was here, or if she even knew what I thought or felt at all. In an almost-trance of such thoughts I relaxed, waiting to see if some of my soreness would leave before I had to venture out again.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 26, 2006 22:58:30 GMT -5
I was in my room drawing when I felt him. Pain and loss the melody to his harmony of confusion. The music of him was a nearly visible thread that led me out to the courtyard. I wondered fleetingly how no one else in Gentian heard him. Perhaps it was because they were better trained and blocked him out as one of the multitude of voices in the symphony of the City.
I was wearing a thin shift and my feet were bare, they were always bare, but the cold of the night parted before me and did not linger on my skin. I followed his song back to the copse of trees and my eyes found him.
I crossed to where he was, making no sound as I approached. I stopped near his feet, not touching him, the pain in him making my skin itch.
"Aleron." I spoke the name he had never given me.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 26, 2006 23:07:35 GMT -5
I'd been waiting for some time and drifted into a slight, pain-filled sleep when I was awoken by the girl saying my name, which I had never given her. My eyes, blurry with pain, just made out her in a thin shift and bare feet, her hair loose and fine. Gazing into her so-dark eyes I heard the drumbeat of my pulse loud in my ears and held out a hand to her. "What is your name?" I asked hoarsely, my throat dry from resting in the cool air.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 26, 2006 23:11:16 GMT -5
I knelt beside him, taking his hand in mine.
"Riva," I told him.
I reached out and smoothed the hair from his face.
"You need a doctor," I said.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 26, 2006 23:18:06 GMT -5
I gave her a wry grin, trying to reassure her as I leaned into her hand. "Not as much as I needed you," I said quietly, still not sure why. I brought my still somewhat numb hand to her face, my stone self complaining at my actions as silly, but that other person, the one that I killed long ago, was in charge. Pain made my reason stop and, while I usually didn't enjoy it, this time it seemed almost wonderful. "You're going to get ill out here in so little," I said bluntly, taking her form in.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 26, 2006 23:31:32 GMT -5
I pressed my cheek against his hand, his touch bringing tears to my eyes. It wasn't the pain that brought them though, it was the fact that he wanted to touch me.
"I never get ill," I told him. "My body makes up in health for what my mind lacks."
I reached out, letting my hand almost touch his ribs. "She tried to kill you."
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 26, 2006 23:36:35 GMT -5
Nodding, I gave another wry grin; I wasn't good at being reassuring, I'd never tried before. "But she didn't," I said, almost wanting to lean my hurt rib into her hand, though I knew it would hurt badly. I held myself back, fearing that pain. I was still confused over that issue, but I didn't want to talk about what might have led up to it hear. This Aleron and that one were two warring parts of myself. "I didn't think I would push her that far."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 26, 2006 23:42:53 GMT -5
"You wanted to hurt her for all the people that hurt you. You just didn't know about all the people that have hurt her in ways you could never conceive of," I said quietly.
I let my hand rise to his face, lightly tracing the curves of his lips with my fingertips.
"What will you do now?"
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 26, 2006 23:53:34 GMT -5
Her hands caressed my lips; my face was the one part of me completely unharmed. Oh, the irony there, considering.
Looking into her eyes I couldn't come up with some flippant answer and I used my hand on her face to gently lead her closer. Puzzled, the mask gone, I said, "I don't know. Elton said to return tomorrow at noon to meet with him, and I know I have to go back or risk breaking my contract, but everything is so confusing. I'm just so tired of this, and I hurt inside and out, and there are these parts of me that speak whenever I think...I think...."
I couldn't go any further, not and ever stop speaking again, not and put the mask back in Riva's presence. On this the stone part of me held sway.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 0:02:32 GMT -5
"Then you will stay here with me and my trees and I will keep you safe," I said, letting my lips brush lightly against his in an echo of the kiss he had given me.
Then I moved behind him and gently pulled his head down into my lap, softly stroking his hair.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 0:12:36 GMT -5
I winced as I let myself be pulled into her lap, my rips protesting but I quickly silenced them. Her hands in my hair made the small heart-voice, still weak but getting stronger, sing though my blood. I turned so I could look up at her, the feel of her lips on mine still burning pleasantly. "I wish I could stay," I said around a strange lump in my throat, "And I'm sorry I ever left. But I have to, just as you have to stay here. We are adepts, we have no choice." Never before had my dedication seemed like such a prison sentence. "I just am not used to not being able to think, my mind was always clear."
I looked up at her and found her beautiful, pulling her face down to mine in a trance so I could kiss her deeply, my lips on hers but so much gentler than I had ever made them before.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 0:19:47 GMT -5
This, this is what the teachers had tried to teach us, what I heard the older adepts gossiping about. This feeling that began at my lips and moved through the rest of me. How could anyone think they could ever teach this in a class?
"Then stay with me for now," I said when our lips separated. "And go when you must. You have listened to your mind for too long, it has forgotten how to rest."
I took his hand gently in mine, careful not to cause him more pain.
"Rest here, I promise you are safe."
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 0:27:20 GMT -5
Still dazed from the happiness flowing through me I shook my head, smiling in a way that was almost genuine. Safe, rest, peace- these were all just words to me, before. "You are not going to stay out here all night, not in that. I won't let you. I can't."
Still I stayed where I was, disinclined to move. If it came to is and she refused to get up and at least change, I would leave rather than let her get taken ill. Another thing I didn't know the why of, but I still knew.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 0:34:35 GMT -5
"You can and you will. Should I fall ill you will just have to come and sit by my bed," I told him, letting my other hand stroke his hair again. I began humming softly, then tune that always appeared in my dreams with the nameless face, the tune that made me feel loved and safe.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 0:54:39 GMT -5
My heart... I didn't think I had one, but she found it. Tears welled in my eyes, though I blinked them back by force of habit. The fact I was in a moonlit glen with a beautiful girl who meant something I didn't understand having nearly died that day still couldn't change that habit. "They won't let me if you fall ill," I said solemnly. "You are locked to me by power and gold, you told me that before." The idea almost made my new heart hurt, though the fact that this strange waif was with me now saved me.
Suddenly the new, young, flesh-and-blood voice within me started to think. I sat up carefully, again ignoring the pain as I took her face in my hands and kissed her, using every skill I posessed and something deeper, never before touched- a feeling other than resentment. Breaking the kiss I hugged her slight form to my chest. "I will stay if you make me a promise," I whispered softly into her ear. "And this time I will not leave until I absolutely must. Promise me."
My pulse was beating through me, though I didn't understand why; it was the sound of drums in my ears and the feeling of irrevocable future. It was so loud I almost began to wonder if she could hear it as I held her to me.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 9:55:55 GMT -5
There again, that feeling, though more now. I didn't want him to stop kissing me. I wanted more, the touch of his hands on my skin brought an ache within me that I had never known before.
I tried to be mindful of his injuries as he held me to him, but what I really wanted was to touch as much of him as possible.
"Yes, anything, I promise you anything you want," I whispered back.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 10:08:14 GMT -5
She clung to me and I couldn't feel the bruises; at her words my chest constricted and I almost couldn't breathe. "Then wait for me," I said, pulling back to look into her eyes, things I didn't know shining through them. The inner boy wanted her, body and soul, though my own body was too battered to respond. "You are Gentian, you can tell me when it will be, just wait for me until then."
Suddenly unsure for the first time in my life, I said, "Is it wrong for me to ask that of you?"
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 10:18:03 GMT -5
I did something then I almost never did, I blushed. I was grateful for the cover of night to hide the color that rose on my skin. How could it be that this boy was the only person who made me a real person? When he touched me, spoke to me, looked at me suddenly I was the only one inside my skin. The voices went away, I could feel and think and know they were my own thoughts and feelings and not someone else's.
"I will wait, I promise."
I kissed him, as he had kissed me, soft and deep, taking and giving. I wanted to live in this moment forever
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 11:03:49 GMT -5
She clung to me, and I to her; it was like we were two halves of a whole and I returned her kiss with all of the growing feelings and passion within me. Her words had lit a deep inner fire, something I couldn't freeze or solidify, something just beyond my grasp. Everything she gave I returned, everything she took had its copy and memory locked away.
My hands, blistered from the swordwork and still healing from the nail wounds I'd inflicted on myself, moved up to the back of her head, cradling it as I held her to me. Even through the bruises, the painful marks and the split rib I felt my body responding, fitting against hers as my hunger for her grew.
In instinct I pressed her tightly to my chest- and the pain exploded, making me draw a hissing breath as I broke off and closed my eyes against the stars spreading through my eyes. I loosened my grip, then smiled, a little wryly but more embarrassed. "It's probably a good thing that I have this painful rib- otherwise, we both might have gotten ourselves in trouble."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 18:02:11 GMT -5
I felt the pain explode inside me as it did in him, biting my tongue to keep from crying out.
I pulled back to give him more room to get comfortable and lightly trailed my hand over him.
"I think you have found as much trouble as your body could ever handle and still follow your commands," I said with a grin. "Where as long as I didn't go screaming through the House and wake everyone up again no one would care what I got in to."
I propped my back against a tree and carefully leaned him back against me. The position was comfortable and should cause little pressure on his rib. I reached out and slipped my hands into his, twining our fingers.
"You need to rest. Your body will not heal if you don't."
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 18:08:37 GMT -5
"If I'd have known that before I would have ignored the pain, to hell with my rib," I said, grinning. Still, I moved no closer to her; this was neither the place nor the time for such things, not if they were to be done right.
Her hands flowed over me, then slipping into my hand and clasped it. Suddenly this day seemed a thousand years long and I yanwed. Still, I didn't want to go to sleep; this could be a dream, with me still of the floor of the salle. "If I go to sleep I won't be able to talk to you- or can you come into my dreams? Will you sleep as well?"
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 18:23:06 GMT -5
"Not all talking is done with words. I will stay and watch over you, guard you from the nightmares that come to take you upon their backs and carry you away," I said softly." Sleep, Aleron, for me."
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 18:26:09 GMT -5
I kissed the hand that was clasped in mine and lay my head on her, willing my breathing to slow. "For you," I said softly, taking in the feel and sounds and smells of her, and then I remembered nothing more until I awoke in the morning.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 18:32:21 GMT -5
I watched him as he slept, the smooth lines of his face still holding the edges of pain that his body felt.
The sun began to rise, the lightening of the sky slowly reaching the point where everything was visible. I felt him waking, his mind swimming up towards consciousness.
I stayed quiet, not wanting to break the spell of peace that surrounded us.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 18:39:43 GMT -5
Slowly I came awake, not quite realizing where I was, and I reflexively stretched, causing quick bolts of pain that made me wince. That brought reality back and I opened my eyes.
I was facing up, a ceiling of leaves above me, and closer, Riva. Daylight shone around me and I smiled- it actually felt like a happy thing, a strange thing. I raised a hand to her face to make sure she was real, my stony mind sure this was some dream. However, my fingers touched the soft flesh of her face and I sighed. "Good morning, lovely," I said, pulling her lips down to mine.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 18:46:30 GMT -5
I kissed him, eager for that surging feeling again. I was not a patient person and it was hard to hold back, not to explore more of what I had been taught, but he was hurt and so I would wait.
"Good morning," I said when our lips parted.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 18:57:43 GMT -5
"Well, as you're still here, my guess is that your House is more...relaxed...than mine was," I said quietly as I tried to rise to sitting without wincing or groaning. My bruises had settled into dull aches, though my entire right side still throbbed. My hand was still clasped in hers, bringing me great comfort and a strange pulsing in my chest.
Gently I took her shoulders and reclined her against me, setting her head where the source of that throbbing was, running my hands through Riva's hair. "I can't wait to wake up somewhere where both of us have slept," I quipped softly.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 19:02:25 GMT -5
"I have no where else to go, so they do not worry about me running off. Most of the people here avoid me anyway, if I was to disappear it would take a long time for anyone to notice unless Octavier sent for me," I told him, as I carefully rested against him.
I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of his heart beating.
"Are you hungry or thirsty? I could bring you something for breakfast."
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Mar 27, 2006 19:12:49 GMT -5
"Well, now that I know that I may have to come steal you away," I said, giving her a kiss on the top of her head- a silly, sentimental action that my mind completely disagreed with, but I was acting more quickly than it could try to dissuade me.
At her question about breakfast I shook my head, then realizing she might not see it, said, "No, I have to leave soon. If I don't I may think of a way to stay and that would cause too many problems for even us to solve." Finally I sighed, then shifted her up to look into her eyes, falling into their depths. "You need to tell me when, so I can make arrangements. Not exactly, I know it doesn't work like that, but within a week of the time. I promise I will be there."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Mar 27, 2006 20:18:29 GMT -5
I shook my head, my hair falling around me.
"No, that is your brain wanting to plan, to scheme." I placed my hand on his chest, the spot above his heart still warm from where my head had been. "This is what will bring you back to me. You will know, if you listen. I will be here, waiting for you."
I took my hand away and reached into the small pocket on the side of shift. I withdrew a small stone that I had found yesterday afternoon before Aleron had arrived. The stone had been in the middle of the path that followed the outside wall. It was black shot through with white veining and had the unmistakable shape of the shipfish I had read about in books.
I laid the stone in his hand, then closed his fingers around it.
"When you find your heart hard to hear, remember this night."
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