Post by Sophie de Trevalion on Feb 26, 2009 15:12:29 GMT -5
During the Akkadian War
The work was difficult. Even on the good days, you worked as hard as you could to cheer them up and keep them as healthy as you were able. And on those good days in our ward in Marsilikos, the sea breeze would blow through and it would be more rewarding than anything you’ve ever experienced. A smile would grace the lips of a man who had been in pain for weeks, or another would manage an entire lap of our small garden without his cane. Those were the moments that you lived for.
Even on the ordinary days, the monotony of the routine never truly threatened your own sanity. It was enough to remember the victories of the day or the week before, and it would perk up your spirits enough to make the day more than bearable.
But just as often as those good days, perhaps occurring even more, were the bad. Today had already been one of those days. And then I approached Daniel’s bed. He had never met my eyes even as I changed the bandage on his legs and chatted to him. His physical wounds were healing, but the emotional scars of loosing both his legs at the knees were proving too much for him.
I had finished up and was turning away when he called me back. “Nurse?” His voice was hoarse, the first word he had spoken since he had been brought in here to recover. “Nurse Patricé? Where is my sword?”
It wasn’t first time a soldier had asked after his blade, but I had never had one ask for it with his first breath. “With the rest of your belongings sailor. It is safe, I assure you,” I told him with a smile, overjoyed to hear him finally speak.
He still wouldn’t look me in the eye, but I was willing to take any improvement. “Could you bring it here please?”
He had licked his dry lips, so I made to hand him the glass of water on his nightstand. “The war is across the ocean, there’s no need to worry.”
He ignored the glass of water that I was offering, so I patiently replaced it. “Could you please just bring it to me?”
“This ward is dedicated to Eisheth, not Camael,” I replied gently. “There is no place here for blades.” His face hardened, jaw setting in defiance, and I tried to soften my already gentle words. “I’m sorry Daniel, but you’ll be better soon enough. You’ll get all of your things back when you leave.”
He surprised me, his hand shooting out and grabbing my arm, yanking me close. “I will never be better,” he hissed. He had finally met my eyes, but what I saw in there scared me. Desperation, anger, terror… I knew then why he wanted his blade, I didn’t need the rest of his words. He spoke them anyway. “I will never be able to walk again. I will only ever be a burden. Henri will never look at me again without pity, even if he stays with me. Get me my sword.”
“Let go of my arm Sailor Basset,” I said, trying to stay calm in the face of such sorrow and fury. “You’re hurting me.” I was not about to let him commit suicide.
He squeezed harder, maliciously making sure that I would have bruises for days. “Good,” he hissed, then shoved me back as he let go. I stumbled away, my temper flaring. Resolutely, I turned my back on him and walked away. I knew that Daniel would be transferred to another ward after his little stunt, but I didn’t know if any of us could actually help him. Tears of defeat slid down my cheeks. I wiped them away to go look after another patient, but a weight had settled on my heart, adding to the pounds already there. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.
The work was difficult. Even on the good days, you worked as hard as you could to cheer them up and keep them as healthy as you were able. And on those good days in our ward in Marsilikos, the sea breeze would blow through and it would be more rewarding than anything you’ve ever experienced. A smile would grace the lips of a man who had been in pain for weeks, or another would manage an entire lap of our small garden without his cane. Those were the moments that you lived for.
Even on the ordinary days, the monotony of the routine never truly threatened your own sanity. It was enough to remember the victories of the day or the week before, and it would perk up your spirits enough to make the day more than bearable.
But just as often as those good days, perhaps occurring even more, were the bad. Today had already been one of those days. And then I approached Daniel’s bed. He had never met my eyes even as I changed the bandage on his legs and chatted to him. His physical wounds were healing, but the emotional scars of loosing both his legs at the knees were proving too much for him.
I had finished up and was turning away when he called me back. “Nurse?” His voice was hoarse, the first word he had spoken since he had been brought in here to recover. “Nurse Patricé? Where is my sword?”
It wasn’t first time a soldier had asked after his blade, but I had never had one ask for it with his first breath. “With the rest of your belongings sailor. It is safe, I assure you,” I told him with a smile, overjoyed to hear him finally speak.
He still wouldn’t look me in the eye, but I was willing to take any improvement. “Could you bring it here please?”
He had licked his dry lips, so I made to hand him the glass of water on his nightstand. “The war is across the ocean, there’s no need to worry.”
He ignored the glass of water that I was offering, so I patiently replaced it. “Could you please just bring it to me?”
“This ward is dedicated to Eisheth, not Camael,” I replied gently. “There is no place here for blades.” His face hardened, jaw setting in defiance, and I tried to soften my already gentle words. “I’m sorry Daniel, but you’ll be better soon enough. You’ll get all of your things back when you leave.”
He surprised me, his hand shooting out and grabbing my arm, yanking me close. “I will never be better,” he hissed. He had finally met my eyes, but what I saw in there scared me. Desperation, anger, terror… I knew then why he wanted his blade, I didn’t need the rest of his words. He spoke them anyway. “I will never be able to walk again. I will only ever be a burden. Henri will never look at me again without pity, even if he stays with me. Get me my sword.”
“Let go of my arm Sailor Basset,” I said, trying to stay calm in the face of such sorrow and fury. “You’re hurting me.” I was not about to let him commit suicide.
He squeezed harder, maliciously making sure that I would have bruises for days. “Good,” he hissed, then shoved me back as he let go. I stumbled away, my temper flaring. Resolutely, I turned my back on him and walked away. I knew that Daniel would be transferred to another ward after his little stunt, but I didn’t know if any of us could actually help him. Tears of defeat slid down my cheeks. I wiped them away to go look after another patient, but a weight had settled on my heart, adding to the pounds already there. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.