Roaming

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

I was trying to lose myself in the crowds, trying to let the pulse of Night's Doorstep overtake me.

A pub….maybe I needed to get drunk… maybe that would help….

I wasn't ready to be indoors again yet, so I just kept walking.

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

A smile spread across my lips as I saw him leave the Palace doors. I still knew him, no matter how long we’d been apart; he was my brother and once upon a time, we had been inseparable. It was strange to see him grown, but I recognized him immediately. He looked worn and pale, practically running from the Palace. I must admit the image was indeed what I had been hoping to see. He passed me by without notice and I stepped out after him. I probably could have bumped into him and he wouldn’t have noticed.

He was rushing into the crowd, trying to loose himself. I followed without difficulty. To me, he stood out like a sore thumb, and he probably did. Everyone would know him here. He glanced up at a pub as we passed. Probably wanted a drink, but wasn’t about to allow himself to be confined to four walls once again. Moving through the crowd, he looked like a madman. If he wasn’t mumbling to himself aloud, he was in his mind. I could almost hear it as if he was speaking right next to me. I knew he had known Ambrose when he was younger, just about the same time I met him in the City. I wondered how close they had grown once I had left. I would wager August had simply replaced me with Ambrose in an attempt to comfort himself. My stomach turned in anger; I was so easy to throw aside and forget.

I let myself fall into the open, undisguised behind others. I was daring him to look, just once. Turn, you bastard. Turn.

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

Eyes everywhere. I felt them upon me as I drove through the crowds. My skin prickled and the healing wound on my shoulder itched maddeningly.

As if driven by unseen fingers, I whipped around, searching for someone who was actually following me to assuage my paranoia, a palace guard perhaps.

The fingers became a fist driven into my gut as I laid eyes upon a specter.

Sabriel….

No, it couldn't be…older yes…but I could mistake him for anyone else…I made a little choking noise…started to step closer to him… it couldn't be him… he was gone… far away… Oh Elua save me….what was happening to me?

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

Our eyes met and my heart pounded. For a split second, we were frozen just so. I saw his eyes, wild eyes I’d never seen before.

But our moment could not last forever and time flowed on. The crowd swallowed me and I let it, blending in before moving into welcoming shadows. From there, I watched him, smiling inside while my heart began to slow. What a game to play…I simply couldn’t stop now.

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

I nearly collapsed on the street as he vanished. It could have been that the crowd swallowed him, but that would have to mean he was actually there… he had vanished into thin air.

My head whipped around, looking desperately for safety as the taste of blood filled my mouth. Kushiel be merciful…please..

There, an alley, dark and rank, but blessedly empty. I dashed into it, heaving bile from my empty stomach. When even that was gone, I pressed my forehead against the cool stone of the building and cried hot tears.

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

And so I continued to watch, moving closer to stay within range, but far enough that he wouldn’t notice me again. I saw him rush into an alley and remained where I was, waiting for him to reemerge. I wondered what had made him sick, as it was obviously the reason he sought the dark alley. Images of death and gore? Ambrose lying in blood? Or perhaps it was something more. Perhaps something inside himself he did not like. What exactly had made him seek solace at Valerian?

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

Wiping away my tears and then at my mouth, I straightened up. The flavor of Mara's hot blood still filled my mouth and I left the alley, determined to get drunk enough to wash it away.

I stumbled into the nearest pub, unknown to me and of less repute than those I usually frequented. Good, I wanted to get drunk, not find companionship.

I plunked down a large amount of coins on the secluded corner table I found and told the server to bring me their strongest brandy and to not stop until I could no longer lift my own cup.

She ran off, returning shortly with a bottle and a cup, setting them before me and taking the coin. I poured a cup full and began trying to numb myself to the madness within me.

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

I followed him into the pub, finding a table with a view of his and almost in shadow, enough so that I could slip away from his view should he happen to look. The server came to ask what I wanted, but I merely gestured for her to go away. I didn’t want distractions.

Good, brother, drink up. It would only make the game much more interesting.

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

I was halfway through the bottle before I even looked up. Not that I could see anything really. The brandy was burning like fire in my empty stomach. I could feel myself swaying a little even in my seat.

I closed my eyes, but the image of Sabriel lingered behind my lids and I opened them quickly, reaching for the bottle and drinking straight from it.

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

He was drinking quickly, and I could see his intoxication increase with each swig of the bottle. He was swaying, only a little, as he sat there. His eyes closed and I wondered what he saw behind those lids. My lips tilted upwards just slightly as I leaned further into the light.

Look, brother, look at what you’ve forgotten. I was staring daggers at him, begging for another glimpse of those satisfying eyes, those eyes devoid of true sanity.

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

Again I felt the weight of eyes upon me, and I kept my eyes fixed on a point on the table top. I could hear Sabriel's voice in my mind, snatches of when we had been young, the joy I ha found with him. My brother, my beloved brother… I sobbed slightly at the thought of him.

And then the sight of Annabel's limp body rose in my vision, so sweet even in death, so perfect. Sabriel's face, wrought with grief I was told later, yet all I knew was the look of betrayal. He had stolen her from me in the most ultimate of ways…

but he was gone. That wasn't him I had seen… it wasn't possible. He was off hiding somewhere, hiding from his responsibility

A small measure of calm, borne on brandy rivers, had surrounded me and I looked up. I actually felt my heart stop beating, the blood freeze in my veins, as I looked into the eyes staring at me

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

Again, we froze, watching each other. I stared into his eyes, watching them widen ever so slightly. It was so satisfying just to see him so, not truly believing I was there, especially in his drunken state. It was as though I was a ghost, haunting him, torturing him. My face split, unable to stop the grin from surfacing.

And then I fell back into the shadows, teasing him.

“Drink, August.” I murmured to myself. Keep thinking that bottle will help. I, most of all, knew that it would not stop the memories, the madness, or the hurt.

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

Too many things seemed to happen at once, Sabriel's face vanished, my heart began beating, blood pumping, and my grip on the neck of the brandy bottle increased to the point the glass shattered in my hand.

I cried out, jumping back away from the table where the tipped over bottle expelled the rest of the brandy across the tabletop. I looked down at my hand, at the pieces of glass jutting from my palm and blood running around them and down my fingers.

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

I think I may have jumped as the bottle shattered. But I couldn’t stop watching him. I could see the blood dripping from his hand and I just watched, completely absorbed in each drop as it fell. Was I enjoying his pain? Not truly. Emotional pain was so much worse than physical.

My eyes shifted as the barmaid rushed to August’s side, attempting to help him. She shouted for a chirurgeon, but I didn’t think August would want her help. Would this set him off? The smell of his own blood? Staying in the shadows, I couldn’t move, only watched in silence.

[Augustin de Trevalion (D)]

I was lost, fixated on the flow of blood across my hand. I could feel Mara's flesh against my mouth, the taste of her blood in my mouth, the warmth was it flowed down my throat.

It wasn't until a large man, perhaps the owner, grabbed my hand and attempted to wrap it in a towel that I snapped back into now. I jerked my hand from him and he reached for it again. Before I knew what I was doing, my other hand came up and slammed into his face. I felt the wet crunch of his nose as it crumbled under my blow. The man went down in a heap and I barely stopped myself from leaping on top of him and ripping his throat open.

I tossed my coin purse on the table and fled, barreling past people and hopefully heading back to the palace.

[Prince Sabriel de Trevalion]

I stayed, watching the chaos he’d caused. I was surprised when the man went down. August packed quite a punch, it seemed. I tried not to laugh as the man moaned in pain, holding his bleeding nose. I stood from my seat and left the pub, looking to see if I could see August’s hurrying figure. I suppose he’d be heading back to the Palace. I’d lost my interest in teasing him. For now, atleast.