Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Aug 2, 2007 22:52:45 GMT -5
I stood outside of Elua's temple, still not certain how I had ended up here.
The new dawn had not brought an ease to the hollow ache in my heart and so I had sought out the only solace I could think of, I made the journey to Kushiel's temple. Perhaps the lash and my confession would bring clarity, and perhaps even a modicum of relief. The lash had not fallen though, my back was bare of marks. I had been turned away. The head priest, his eyes dark in the holes of his bronze mask, had caressed my cheek with awful tenderness as he told me what I sought was not to found there. I trembled, a single tear running down my cheek and I whispered a plea, but was again refused. It is not punishment for your transgressions that you need, but a light for the way of your heart. Go to Elua.
So, dazed, I had gone to Elua's temple.
I stood outside the unfamiliar structure, having never been here before. I closed my eyes and nearly turned away, but the darkness inside my lids brought the whispered memory of Christophe's lips against mine. My heart stuttered and I nearly fled inside.
The acolyte removed my shoes and after I made my gift, she filled my hands with incense and flowers. I made my way out to the open temple, the ground beginning to soften with the new spring grass. I made my offering, kneeling on the damp earth as I kissed his feet.
I looked up at his beatific face, my cheeks soaked with tears I hadn't realized I was crying.
"Why?" I asked in a whisper. "Why does it hurt so much to love? Is this my punishment for playing with the love of others? I'll take it all back, make amends for everything I've done, just please let me have this,"
I closed my eyes and looked down, kneeling silently in hopes of an answer, but none came.
Despairing, I stood and began to make my way out, an old priest in blue robes blocked the way.
"Forgive me father, I was wrong to come," I said softly, making to step around him.
"You were not wrong to come, Kushiel's child, you were wrong to ask what you did," he said in a serene voice.
I opened my mouth to protest but he held up a hand and I was quiet.
"Love is not a punishment, nor is it to be used as a weapon. Love is a gift, the most precious of gifts, and should be treated as such. There is no one who is not worthy of this gift, even you who have forsworn its blessing before. Love is there for you, but you are the only one who can decide which is more important, love or pride." He stepped closer and placed his palm above my heart. "Love can heal the wounds of a broken past, but you must let it."
He tucked his hands inside his robes again and walked off. As he did, I felt the ache inside me ease. I knew now. I would and could do anything to be with Christophe. Love was a gift, and I would accept, willingly and with no reservations.
The new dawn had not brought an ease to the hollow ache in my heart and so I had sought out the only solace I could think of, I made the journey to Kushiel's temple. Perhaps the lash and my confession would bring clarity, and perhaps even a modicum of relief. The lash had not fallen though, my back was bare of marks. I had been turned away. The head priest, his eyes dark in the holes of his bronze mask, had caressed my cheek with awful tenderness as he told me what I sought was not to found there. I trembled, a single tear running down my cheek and I whispered a plea, but was again refused. It is not punishment for your transgressions that you need, but a light for the way of your heart. Go to Elua.
So, dazed, I had gone to Elua's temple.
I stood outside the unfamiliar structure, having never been here before. I closed my eyes and nearly turned away, but the darkness inside my lids brought the whispered memory of Christophe's lips against mine. My heart stuttered and I nearly fled inside.
The acolyte removed my shoes and after I made my gift, she filled my hands with incense and flowers. I made my way out to the open temple, the ground beginning to soften with the new spring grass. I made my offering, kneeling on the damp earth as I kissed his feet.
I looked up at his beatific face, my cheeks soaked with tears I hadn't realized I was crying.
"Why?" I asked in a whisper. "Why does it hurt so much to love? Is this my punishment for playing with the love of others? I'll take it all back, make amends for everything I've done, just please let me have this,"
I closed my eyes and looked down, kneeling silently in hopes of an answer, but none came.
Despairing, I stood and began to make my way out, an old priest in blue robes blocked the way.
"Forgive me father, I was wrong to come," I said softly, making to step around him.
"You were not wrong to come, Kushiel's child, you were wrong to ask what you did," he said in a serene voice.
I opened my mouth to protest but he held up a hand and I was quiet.
"Love is not a punishment, nor is it to be used as a weapon. Love is a gift, the most precious of gifts, and should be treated as such. There is no one who is not worthy of this gift, even you who have forsworn its blessing before. Love is there for you, but you are the only one who can decide which is more important, love or pride." He stepped closer and placed his palm above my heart. "Love can heal the wounds of a broken past, but you must let it."
He tucked his hands inside his robes again and walked off. As he did, I felt the ache inside me ease. I knew now. I would and could do anything to be with Christophe. Love was a gift, and I would accept, willingly and with no reservations.