Letters from home

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I was waiting for the sun to shine again - the assignation with the Gentian adept was in a few days, I was going to write to the Dowayne. Distractedly, I scratched. My chin itched from not shaving - it was a thick beard, for one that had merely been left untended a few days.

Giovanna came in, silent and quiet, small footfalls on the carpeted floor. She carried a silver tray with my morning coffee, and some toast - though likely, I would not eat it. I wasn't hungry at all these days - the only food I yearned for was my Angel.

A stack of letters was sitting on it, and I noted one of them had the distinctive stamp of La Serenissima. Deftly, I opened it.

My dearest son,

I hope this finds you well. I assume this letter will reach you until after the Coronation festivities, although unless I am sourly mistaken, do sent my very best regards to the Queen.

I find it is painful to write, but I miss my big boy, the man of the house. I understand the need for your presence in the City of Elua, but how I would love for you to be here, by my side.

The management of the estate is growing wearisome on me, though I know, from where you are, you do all that you can to lighten the load. Is your sister, my difficult Cascata, doing well? You know I love her, even though I am finding it so complicated to tell her myself. Let her know my feelings if you can.

There are things here, at Castel Belafonte, which concern me. The staff walks around me in hushed whispers, and few dare approach me. I daresay, my loneliness is feeding my despair.

When you can, come see your mother, she is in dire need of her son.

Lovingly,

Mylene Stregazza,
Marquise d'Iz-Entre-Mer.

I clutched the letter in my hand - and my mind grew filled with new worries. I sighed. Soon, soon, I would need to speak with my sister - it appeared, her time was drawing near.

[Cascata Stregazza]

I walked idly down the hall, my head filled with random thoughts with no meaning. I was still a little dreamy about the entire coronation event and my night with Kendrick. Life in the city was turning out to be quite grand.

I walked by the door of my brother's study and decided to take a quick peek in and say hi. I also had a mind to go out into the town and take a look around. It would be to my advantage to tell him first. Perhaps he'd let me borrow Gil, I was still not familular enough with the other servents to ask them to come with. I didn't think Giovanna would be exciting company either.

I opened the door and peaked in. I saw Gil crumple a letter and sighed inwardly. I was hoping my cheery day wouldn't be cut short. Keeping a positive step I walked inside, "hello Gil, anything new?"

[Gillermo Stregazza]

A soft sound and a singing voice. Cascata. I'd not really had a chance to talk with her since that morning where the world had crumbled around me.

At her I sighed. I didn't want to start already with more drama - it seemed we barely had peace, in this house. "Nothing new to me, but this may be new to you," I told her, pointing at the letter still in my hand.

"But we don't need to discuss it right away. How are you?" I asked, voice weary but caring, and I gestured to the chaise in across from my desk, inviting her to be at ease. I did welcome her company, no matter how awful I felt.

[Cascata Stregazza]

Gil looked weary and I was sad to see it. Maybe I was letting him take on to many of the household chores, though I knew some of the causes had naught to do with me.

I sat in the chair, hoping to at least be able to cheer him up for a few minuets. "I am doing ok, how about you?" I hoped that if something was troubling he would tell me and not try to shield me from it, but I would give him the benifit of the doubt and I kept my question simple.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I summoned a smile, but my weariness did not subside. "I'm exhausted, sweetheart," I told her. "And I'll admit, your womanizing brother has been so caught at his own game, he barely is himself."

Gods. If I talked of myself in the third person, there really was something wrong with me. I sighed.

"There is a letter from Mother, are you curious?" I asked, and, wanting to coax her interest, I added, "She has kind words for you."

[Cascata Stregazza]

I smiled lightly at Gil, hoping it was at least a little catchy, "things will work out, I truly believe that. I don't think its just me being hopeful either. I saw how you and Miri was at the fete." I wanted to tell him that she had said kind things about him when we were at Balm, but I did not want to meddle to much. I was pretty sure the two of them didn't want me in the middle as well.

Gil then metioned my mother and I frowned. She hadn't said kind words about me for as long as I could remember. True we had a good relationship when I was young, but I couldn't be a child for the rest of her life. "I am curious," I said, "what did she say?"

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I took in what she said - but Cascata had always been more optimistic than I, so I summoned a wan smile to thank her for trying, but my heart didn't believe in it much.

"She said she loves you," I told her gently. "And from the tone of the letter, I don't think she is doing very well."

I sighed. All this, and now this.

I was exhausted.

[Cascata Stregazza]

My frowned deepend when Gill said she had claimed to love me, though I didn't frown more for her failing health. Maybe she was feeling sorry because of that, not because she really cared. I didn't want to be petty so I decided to not think in that direction. I figured Gil knew her a little better so I asked him, "do you think she's being honest, in saying that she loves me?"

[Gillermo Stregazza]

"Cascata, I never doubted that she did," I replied softly, wishing I could say the same of Mirielle.

"She is proud, as her blood beckons, and so are you, and so am I," I told her. And so was the Angel. "It is the burden of those who bear Azzalese blood, you know that. Besides, I think she hasn't been herself these past few years."

[Cascata Stregazza]

I started to strum my fingers on the chair, not really taking note of it, as Gil started to talk about my mom. If she had loved me so much than why would she have held me back, never letting me go anywhere, learn the things that would make me a deeper person. There was also her rantings, always putting me down, saying I wasn't the daughter she wanted.

"Proud she is, but its not an excuse to act like our only daughter is worthless," I said, not wanting to accept that maybe it wasn't all hate behind her. It would be easier to understand if it was. I didn't want to start an argument about her, she wasn't really worth the effort. So I sighed and asked, "is she sick?"

[Gillermo Stregazza]

As awfully depressed as I was, what my little sister said trew me for a loop. I stood, talking, and lifted her in my arm to give her a warm embrace. I kissed her cheek, and said, "If you ever, ever suggest that anyone thinks you're worthless.... You are not, and no Stregazza thinks so. I'd have their hide if anybody did, even our mother."

It was true. I adored my little sister - and it set me to think that I'd never asked about the end of her evening at the fete. I needed not to forget that, and saved it for later, to lighten the mood after this discussion.

I let her go a little, and took the seat across from her, instead of going back behind the desk. "Cas, I think our mother's not well. Her letter indicates that she may be troubled."

[Cascata Stregazza]

Gil's warm embrace felt good, and it made me think of when I was young and liked having him and dad around, feeling that with those two nothing could ever hurt me. They were my protectors. I returned back to the present as he let go of me and sat back in his chair. I returned to mine, smiling, Gil really was the best brother a girl could hope for.

Feeling a little better I asked, "troubled in what way?"

[Gillermo Stregazza]

"In that way," I said, making a motion with my hand about my head. "At least a little, I don't know how bad it is, but here, listen to this," I said, reading from the letter. "There are things here, at Castel Belafonte, which concern me. The staff walks around me in hushed whispers, and few dare approach me. I daresay, my loneliness is feeding my despair."

I lifted my eyes to her, letting the letter dangle at my hand, and asked, "what do you think?"

[Cascata Stregazza]

That my mother would be growing ill in the head would not surprise me in the least. Our house had been kind to its servants, even my mother showing them a ounce of respect. The ideal of them floating secrets around her seemed odd, espcially when they could easily do so out of her presence if they needed too. She was alone, without family in the house, so I could understand her feeling that a little.

"The word despair is a strong one," I said to Gil, "She has not been alone there that long we have only been here for two weeks."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

"Well, that makes for a total of two months, Cascata," I told her patiently. "We cannot go now, but that is something I need to consider. Something you need to consider too," I added, very aware that she would understand.

It had been becoming clearer and clearer to me that Cascata was concerned about her possible coming of title - she had been preparing, and I had confidence in her, yet... I wanted to prepare her for what was to come.

[Cascata Stregazza]

I nodded, "I know, I will go when the time comes. Do you know when that might be?" I asked, wondering how much time I would have to prepare myself. Perhaps I would make another visit to Balm before hand to help set my mind straight.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I sighed. "I am waiting for letters that will be from... outside sources," I replied. "When they come, we will know."

I gave her a look of concern. "Would you want me to go with you? I could make it coincide with some meetings I need to arrange at the Palazzo Immortali..." I said that last one with a whimsical look. If I had to, I would make some excuse up - I didn't want to leave Cascata alone to face our mother.

[Cascata Stregazza]

I thought about seeing my mother alone, with her words in the recent letter I wouldn't know how to approach her or even what to expect. If it had been anyone else I probably would have been up to the challange. But, when its your own flesh and blood its harder to face. Espcially when they probably know more about you than you know about them.

"If it would not trouble you to much I would like to have you with me," I told Gil.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

"Then it's settled," I replied almost joyfully. The idea of getting away... I couldn't say it displeased me one bit.

"Now, tell me, you know fairly all that happened at the end of my night, but how did you fete time end?" I asked with a whimsical look. Oh, I did love to tease her.

[Cascata Stregazza]

Though part of me didn't want to return home and to the drama that was sure to ensue, there would be a little joy in it. Home was a bitter sweet place for me, at least the home in La Serenissima. Eula was proving to be a bit dramatic itself, at least with Gil's demons.

I smiled at his question, "my night proved to be most enjoyable," I said. I thought for a moment, trying to figure out what I wanted to reveal, "Kendrick has some interesting skills." I said finally.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

Kendrick has some interesting skills.

I raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Kendrick?"

I didn't want to pry - at the same time, I did want to make sure my baby sister was happy and safe - and that she frequented acceptable suitors.

[Cascata Stregazza]

I smiled, "yes Kendrick Deveroix. He was sweet but also entertaining, not someone one could easily grow bored with."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

It almost sounded like she wanted to see him again, and I grinned sincerely for the first time in days. "Well well, my little sister, I am beyond curious now," I replied. Absently, like I didn't care, I asked, "Do you think you will see him again?"

[Cascata Stregazza]

I had not really thought about rather or not I wanted to see Kendrick again. When I thought about him I was to busy living in the past. "It would be fun to see him again," I said. If anything, I thought to myself, we could pleasure each other quite well. Rather or not we would be good for more than that I didn't know. It had only been one night after all.

"Rather or not anything serious will ever come of though, I don't know."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I smiled, my hand reaching to caress her cheek, "You are quite the little sister," I said gently. "As long as you are happy, and safe," I said with a grave twitch of the eyebrow, "it is all that matters to me."

I reclined in my chair some more, and found it was a good moment to take the pulse of the city - I had been quite the recluse, contrary to my habits. "And tell me, sister, have you been out? How is the beat of the city, outside?"

[Cascata Stregazza]

"I have been out," I told him and with a little raise of my eyebrows I said, "I visited Balm with Miri." I waited, wondering what his reaction would be.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

If eyes could roll out of their sockets, mine would have.

I stared at Cascata, my mind full of questions, and pondering. I didn't recall them having that conversation, but then again, maybe it had been arranged after the Coronation. That supposed that Mirielle and her still talked. I wanted to know - I wanted to ask. But I'd promised Angel her time, and that I would let her send for me, should she change her mind. Recalling my advice to her, and almost cursing myself for it, I said, my voice tight in my throat, "You are doing well to maintain a relationship with her, Cas. After all, she will likely be your liege one day."

I reached and patted her knee an instant, conjuring my affection for her, my desire not to burden her, "You will do well, when you take title. I see you are already mastering the subtleties of Court."

[Cascata Stregazza]

I smiled at my brother's affection and note of confidence. Since he didn't ask about my trip to Balm I did not add to it. "I am trying my best," I told him, "I only hope that when the time does come that I don't disappoint."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I shook my head. "You won't," I told her with assurance. "But tell me, that was your first time at the Night Court... how was it?"

I smirked inwardly. Some siblings don't share such things - but I'd never found horrible that my sister had a sex life. After all, it was part of happiness. This all mulled over my curiosity, my desire to ask about Mirielle, but I fought it.

[Cascata Stregazza]

I thought back to our conversation and the two adepts. It had been difficult keeping my attention focused in the right places, but I still enjoyed my time there, especially when Daunte was finally able to show me his full attentions.

"I enjoyed myself quite a bit. Adepts know what they are doing, there are no doubts there." I then asked, mildly curious, "have you visited any of the houses before?"