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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Mar 16, 2007 11:50:15 GMT -5
I was married. Had been for near two days now. Elton and I were not speaking. I could hear him drifting aimlessly in the consorts suit adjoining my own. My mother's rooms. He'd spent some time in there removing furnishings and making the space his own. Without asking me, of course, but I let it slide. I had wounded him deeply and had not the heart to be petty.
But he had tricked me. I accepted it, he'd won the duel fairly enough. I'd payed him back for his deception, taken a piece of his honor in repayment. There was still someone who was owed for their hand in this deception.
Aleron.
I'd spent a long time thinking about what I'd do to him, the first hours filled with nothing but scenes of violence, torture and maiming. During the darkest hours of the night, alone in my wedding bed, I reconsidered. With the cool light of dawn I was calm, serene inside as I had not been for months now. I'd spent today waiting. Elton had hinted earlier that Aleron would be back sometime tonight.
Every servant in the house knew that as soon as Aleron returned he was to be sent to me.
I composed myself to patience, to wait. I refused to look at the unlit candle sitting ominously on my vanity.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:02:36 GMT -5
* * * I sat behind my desk, staring with disgust at the invitation there. So, the feckless girl was being crowned Queen? And if I wanted to retain my sovereignty, I'd have to attend. Else that D'Aglimort bitch would come sniffing after what was mine, more eager than ever to stake her claim. Sighing, I found a servant and sent them to find Elton. It was, after all, part of his contractual obligations to escort me to such functions. And I wanted it plainly known that he and I were wed. No offspring of mine would suffer the stigma of bastardy. I would not let my father's legacy be in doubt ever again.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:06:58 GMT -5
A servant found me in the salle, training with Le Clerc and several of the more raw recruits. Jaid may have given my job to Le Clerc, but everyone, including him, still paid me all the deference as if it were still mine. Le Clerc's reasoning; I was Duc-Consort, still out ranked him, and had the pleasure of openly sharing Jaiden's bed.
Right.
How many weeks had we been wed? She could barely bring herself to speak to me, let alone couple. And evidently she had some use for me now. I sighed, explained a few last points, and made for her study.
The sour look on her face said a lot of things, and yet I still found her beautiful, still felt that ache in my heart. I kept my expression bland and waited for her to speak.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:09:55 GMT -5
He just stood there, composed and tranquil, as always. It only served to irritate me more when he didn't speak, just waited for me to begin.
several long minutes of this ensued.
"The coronation is in a week. I will attend. You will be my escort. I trust you can manage something suitable for the occasion." I snapped. This bloody impasse was growing old. Hells, I hadn't even lit that damn candle yet.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:11:36 GMT -5
"Of course, your Grace. Are we going to the fete afterward as well?" I asked calmly. In the mood she was in right now, everything would set her off. But it was better to know beforehand what she wanted than face her fury when one was unprepared for a mission.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:13:47 GMT -5
"Unfortunately. We will keep it brief. I have a few Court contacts to speak to and my loyalty to pledge. I also want it known we are married." I bit out, tossing the invitation aside and standing. I needed to pace. Too much tension sang through me and it needed an outlet. Otherwise I'd either kiss or kill him.
Cammael only knew I wanted to do both.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:16:06 GMT -5
I watched her pace. Now more than ever she reminded me of a snow leopard, caged and pacing. Restless and unpredictable. A flare of anger had me opening my mouth and speaking before I could think better of it.
"Are we really married, Jaiden?" I said softly, a hard edge of regret to the words.
She froze, turned midnight eyes full of anger on me. Stoically I stood my ground.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:18:21 GMT -5
"It was not I who did this Elton. If you are so unhappy with this mockery, you should have thought about that before you challenged me to the holmgang." I said, voice low and tight with anger.
I had to consciously force my hands to unclench, else they'd be wrapped around his neck.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:22:29 GMT -5
"You're absolutely right, Jaiden. I did this. I married you and wanted to father your children, oh, for the inconsequential reason that you're the woman I love. How foolish of me to think you'd want me for a husband instead of some stranger!"
I could count the number of times she and I had fought, truly at odds over something. I wouldn't even use all my fingers. But she had sworn! And whatever this was that we were living was not what I had intended, and was indeed, a mockery. One my fragile heart could no longer bear.
"If you want out so badly, light that bloody candle and have done!" I crisply turned and left her study. She was torturing both of us.
I needed a drink.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 3:36:45 GMT -5
I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw hurt, absolutely livid at Elton. How dare he! I continued to pace, and deep down, I was hurt. And terrified. * * * I'd spent the remainder of the day brooding, and taking out my anger on everyone hapless enough to cross me. Which was everyone. Elton's accusations haunted me, because he was right. I hadn't lit the candle, hadn't wanted to accept the fact of our marriage. Part of me just wanted things to go back as they were, with him at my side and none of this farce necessary. It was stupid, and I couldn't keep doing it. Night found me in my bedroom, clad in a black silk dressing gown that had been part of Aleron's purchases for me. It was too feminine, but better than standing naked. Eventually I found the determination to do what needed to be done. I went over to the double door joining my suite to Elton's. The click of the bolt being turned sounded entirely too loud in the quiet night. I pulled the door open, stepping through. Empty. Elton wasn't in yet. Good. A few more minutes to think couldn't hurt. I left the door open as I stepped back into my rooms and stood in front of the candle.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 5:16:07 GMT -5
The connecting door was open. I approached it with caution, not knowing what to expect. Jaiden had kept it locked since the night I moved into these rooms.
Quietly I entered into her rooms, eyes swiftly adjusting to the dark, scanning the room. A dark shape stood near the vanity.
"Jaiden?" I said softly, tensed to attack if necessary.
The soft click of flint and striker, a spark flared, lighting the delicate tip of a taper. The faint glow illuminated Jaiden's face. I pulled in a sharp breath. Cammael! Her long hair was unbound and something dark clung to the taut planes of her body. I couldn't help the sudden curl of desire curling in my groin. I took a step toward her.
"Stop" Her dark eyes pinned me, "You need to listen first. You will not speak. Just listen." I was confused, but nodded mutely. What more could she have to say?
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 5:34:06 GMT -5
I held the long taper steady, which belied the state my nerves were in. I hated talking about the past. Hated remembering what was done to me. But Elton needed to know. Needed to understand why doing this with him was so much more difficult than with a stranger. I focused on the flame.
"The night before I killed Betancourt, I- " I took a deep breath, let it out, "He broke me. My will, my spirit, whatever you call it. He shattered it. Too many months of seeing such cruelty, of trying to spare my mother agony. I knew he was the instigator of all of my suffering, but he- he never actually hurt me. His men did. He never touched my mother, but he let the Skaldi- such unspeakable things. He was always kind, gentle when he touched me. After so long... I began to believe he cared for me, that he truly did love me. And I- it became so easy to please him, so easy to just do what he wanted instead of fighting him." My voice was a quiet sing song, locked into the memories, my skin grew cold and I shuddered.
"He wanted me to light a candle to Eisheth, had the entire time, so he could claim the Duchy in my name, his spawn to inherit after him. And that night- I did. I lit the candle of my own will. To this day, the memory still eats me alive with shame and disgust. But he had broken me. It, it pleased him. And he took me, hoping his seed would catch. It didn't of course, but he was so smug, so pleased. The next morning, he let his men rape Tatiana in front of me, not just one or two, he let all of them have her. She was screaming, and I fought to get to her, but he just held me back. She died toward the end. Screaming. He just laughed, caressed my hair and my belly. 'My son', he laughed. And then left. He was so sure of me, my compliance. I strangled him as he lay replete atop my naked body."
I turned blank eyes up to Elton, saw the look of horror on his face. I hadn't told him this part of my tale. I hadn't told him a lot of things. Couldn't bear to even think about it most of the time.
"I swore I'd never light another. Never. But I owe it to my father to produce an heir of my body, to continue the honor of th Liatris line."
"Jaiden..."
"I said silence! Listen. I am not done yet. I loved you, Elton, and in my way I still do, even now. But you know too much, see too much, and want too much from me. I have no heart left to give, no warmth or tenderness left to me. You- you deserve better than me." I broke off, emotion choking me. Damnit! The taper was nearly burnt through, it would extinguish in a moment. I made to shake it out.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on May 21, 2007 5:43:57 GMT -5
I strode over to her, surrounded her in my arms and with one hand gently clasped the one that held the flame. I pressed my lips to her temple and inhaled. She was stiff in my arms, but didn't pull away.
"Ah Jaid..." I was at a loss for words. She had survived Hell, had sewn her heart back together with ice. She was not the laughing girl I loved at 16. She was another creature entirely, and I loved her no less. I knew that, but I didn't think she did.
"I loved your father. I honor his memory. As I honor you. Let us start there. Please, let me do this for him, if not for you. The rest- we can spend eternity debating the rest of our problems." I spoke softly, lips grazing soft skin. I felt her soften imperceptibly in my arms.
I couldn't quite hear the whisper that left her lips, but I suspected it was a brief prayer. Her hand clasped in mine moved toward the candle, let the dying taper touch the wick. It almost guttered out, but finally managed to catch at the last second. The soft glow grew brighter as the flame took hold, the candle burning.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Jun 15, 2007 5:47:00 GMT -5
I watched the warm glow of the flame expand, cast soft light on our joined hands. It was done. Another vow broken. At least this one was for my father, for my House. And maybe, just maybe, for myself.
Elton's hands left mine, the taper a burnt remnant. He brushed the long mane of my hair from my neck and laid a kiss there, lips, and tongue sending shivers down my spine. I stood impassively. Those hands snaked around me, unfastened the single clasp holding the wisp of black silk together. It hissed as it pooled around my ankles. I still did not move, just stood bare before him, stripped of more than just silk.
The first touch of his lips to the base of my spine was near painful in it's intensity.
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