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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 27, 2006 10:08:08 GMT -5
I was going about my room, straightening it up from Riva's visit, when a sudden feeling of anxiety rushed through my veins. Straightening, eyes dilated, I searched out through my mind as to where this feeling was coming from. Not anything conscious, not a memory..something deeper. The necklace burned against my chest and I knew it wasn't really me who was afraid. Riva.
Sitting down, I shut down those feelings and thought- that was what I was good at. Octavier, anger, so much fear of pain, punishment, the thought of what a whiplash must feel like, hurting so much as it tore through flesh and hurting and making you bleed and hurting more and Octavier would like to do this, he hates me/her and pain... I understood. I wanted to kill, to die, to make it stop. I couldn't, this was too far gone, nothing would stop it. And she still loved me, standing naked before them so the gown wouldn't get ruined.
Standing, I locked this all away, going out of my room and down the stairs as the people gathered and her skin was so cold, with nothing to keep her warm. Instinctively I went to the salle, the place where I had been hurt, hoping that I could at least scream and fight this and lose myself in all of this in peace. Over and over in my mind I said in my mind, willing it to go to her, I love you, Riva, I'm sorry, I love you, I don't want this, I want to stop it, I want to take those blows for you, I love you, as a few tears traced their way down my cheeks.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 27, 2006 11:39:33 GMT -5
Once I was in the salle I moved to the center of the ring and sat down, trembling slightly from the repressed emotions and wiping the tears from my cheeks, ashamed of them- I had no reason to cry, not when I was safe and free from fear for myself. For her though- I knew how much she hated pain, how much even the idea of getting her marque scared her.
Suddenly, a sense of terror, and then I heard her scream; I'd seen a whipping, seen how much it hurt Elton, who was strong and able and used to pain. The pain ripped through me as well and I bent over, crying out with her as I crossed my arms over her chest. She went into shock, only feeling the aftershocks of the next last, for which I was thankful, but it ripped through me again, unabated as she let it pass through her. The last lash and I bit my lip until it bled to keep from screaming, knowing this was my due for not taking care of her better, for not insisting that things be done the right way. Slightly in shock myself I felt her set free and then fall into blackness where thought and pain didn't live and I followed, slumping onto the ground with my hand around the sailfish, holding it as I wished I could hold her. Riva...
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 27, 2006 20:22:49 GMT -5
Slowly I felt the blackness pulling away, the floor of the salle beneath me, my body stuff from where I had lay on the ground. For a moment I was disoriented, wondering what I was doing here, and then I looked at the sailfish clasped in my hand. Riva. My beloved Riva. Her love was there, I could feel the force behind it and knew she had called me back and I returned it with all that I had. No blame, no anger, no doubt was in her toward me; another tear coursed down my cheek. She loved me and wasn't in danger anymore, and I loved her; we would survive.
Standing, I stretched and let the second instinct I had take over- to sneak, to hide, to plot and plan for her. Octavier, I remembered that name. The bastard who had hurt my Riva. I longed to see her, to care for her and hold her and take that pain away, to store and give to the person who had wielded the lash and enjoyed that he finally had his reason. Eyes glinting like ice on a window I thought of Riva, sending her everything I had, my strength and wishes and hopes, wondering if they would reach her.
Walking over to the salle wall where the tourney blades rested I picked one up and swung it, checking the balance before I walked over to a practice dummy and imagining Octavier's face on it. Smug bastard. I wouldn't ever be able to kill him, but I could plan for his shame and pain. That would be enough, to ensure that through whatever means necessary once Riva was free. I wanted to see her, but for now this would keep me from going mad.
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