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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 5, 2006 20:42:32 GMT -5
The house was so quiet with most everyone gone. The servants were out reveling, the guard was reveling in shifts and I had no more work to occupy my thoughts. Thinking and brooding is a dangerous thing and I was succumbing to it.
Every hallway in the house looked the same: slightly shabby with the former glory so painfully clear to see. It was obvious, the neglect, and it made me cringe a little. How much my grandmother had loved this villa, had put her soul into it. Where was my soul devoted to? Arms and battle? The Duchy? My sword and spear? I wondered if I even had a soul anymore. Such dark, heavy thoughts on this longest night.
Looking up, I found myself in front of Elton's door. It shocked me out of my brooding. Hesitantly, my hand hovered above the door. Would I knock? What would I say? Not for the last time I damned the ice for leaving my emotions and making me feel so... raw.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 16, 2006 18:33:24 GMT -5
I couldn't concentrate on anything. Not books, swordplay, sleep, nothing seemed real or solid. I lay in my bed, tousled and unseeing just, drifting. Thoughts swirling like currents through my mind. Mielande, Aleron, brief flashes of the political events taking place, and Jaiden.
"Jaiden..." the whisper echoed and reverberated through my spartan room.
Only to be broken by a soft knock. What could it be now? Half the men were out whoring and drinking, the other's on duty. Aleron was doing work at the Masque and she... wouldn't come here for anything. Silently I stood and opened the door.
"Jaiden..." had I summoned her?
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 16, 2006 19:02:07 GMT -5
He looked surprised to see me, and just faintly bitter. Elua, regardless he just looked good to me. Hair mused, clothes undone and rumpled, as if from sleep.
"Elton-" The words dried up in my throat and I had to swallow hard before speaking again. Damn, I felt like a girl again. "Elton, may I- may I come in please?" May I come in? I wanted to turn and bolt, equally embarrassed and angry at how pitiful I sounded.
He said nothing though, just stepped cautiously back and let me enter. The sound of the latch catching made me jump a little.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 16, 2006 19:22:21 GMT -5
I think it was concern made me let her in and close the door. Was she ill? Had something happened. Not for many years had I ever seen her so...unsure. And despite all the pain she had caused me, I still loved her and worried.
"What's happened Jaid? Why are you so..." I unconsciously reached out to touch her, and abruptly aborted the gesture. She wasn't mine to touch anymore. That was for her 'husband'.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 18, 2006 23:18:57 GMT -5
I didn't know what to say. God's Above I had no words just- half formed desire and a need to be near him. I hated how confused everything was, all these emotions I couldn't slay.
"Nothing is amiss I just-" What? An excuse? "Damnation. I don't know. Elton...I don't know anything anymore. Just one thing and it's that..." I stopped, the words frozen in my mouth.
I love you.
I stared helplessly at him before looking away. "I should go."
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 18, 2006 23:23:00 GMT -5
Gently I grabbed her by the arm and cupped her face in a callused hand. I coaxed those midnight eyes to look at me. What did I see there? So much. Confusion, sadness, turmoil and softness. Softness? Elua, I hadn't seen that since before her capture.
"Stay, and tell me. Please." Would I beg for her? Oh yes.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 18, 2006 23:29:25 GMT -5
Camael give me strength.
"I'm sorry for- wounding you so deeply. I still- I have...Kushiel take it! I still love you. I do. Not the same as...before. But in my way I do. I just-" I looked away from his searching eyes. Gods! This was so hard! I had a duty, a responsibility to my duchy and my country. I had to marry, produce a legal heir, and when he looked at me like that...
Why not marry him?
"Damn it! I can't do this." I started to pull away from him.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 18, 2006 23:39:29 GMT -5
I was shocked. She said it. I was at once elated and devastated. She was apologizing, and telling me she meant to continue with her mad scheme. Should I let her go?
"No. Jaiden..." I caught her arm and pulled her toward me.
It was like coming home, my lips over hers. When I kissed her I could almost taste the snow falling on the pine grove at Winterfell. And as cold as she was emotionally, her skin was always so warm. I moved a hand to cradle the back of her head, used it to kiss her deeper. Not demanding but pleading.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 20, 2006 12:03:42 GMT -5
That kiss... I melted into it. A hundred skirmishes, countless practice matches, and never once had I surrendered. I'd lost, but not often, and never by giving up of my own volition.
I surrendered to him and all it meant.
Hands burrowing into his hair, the lush glide of my tongue along his, small sounds of want whispering in my ears. Elton. My friend, my right hand, my lover. I could feel an intense ache in my chest as I kissed him, so strong I almost stopped. But in a rush of heat it faded away and I felt lighter somehow.
I pressed closer to him, wanting.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 20, 2006 12:16:22 GMT -5
Who was this pliant woman in my arms? I'd know the willing girl, eager as I to rut and feel alive in our own skins. I'd know the cold ice maiden, so rigid and controlled, still fierce in her passion but contained somehow. But this...She was still Jaiden, and she was still controlled and demanding but- tender. It made my mind reel.
Her hands sought the fastenings of my clothing, deftly undoing the ties on my shirt. Warm hands found skin and I surrendered to her will. My own hands found her slim hips, squeezed, then sought her shirt.
I watched her with bright eyes as we disrobed one another. The perfect curve of her neck, the soft swell of her breasts, those killer's hands that drove me mad when she used them on my body, strong legs and her dainty feet. She was a tall woman, and a fierce warrior, but her feet, Elua they were so at odds with her! Delicately boned, high arched, her slippers and boots always looked so small. I'd teased her about it when we were children and received any number of bruises from her.
Sinking to my knees, I wrapped my arms around her slim hips and kissed the smooth skin below her navel. For just a moment I stayed kneeling, pressed tight to her body and feeling her in my arms. Was this real? I prayed to all the gods that it was.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 20, 2006 18:18:10 GMT -5
When had the room gotten so warm? And why was the air thicker somehow? It seemed my lungs had to work harder to draw in enough air as my hands busily revealed Elton's skin. The hard muscles of his chest, the curving scar over his ribs. Every plane and hollow was familiar and new all at once.
He knelt before me, lips pressed against my belly and I stared down at him in wonder. Was he trembling? My hands lifted his face to me and I stared into his eyes. If only I could read the thoughts swimming there. Carefully I bent down and laid my lips across his, sighing deeply, sinking down to be on level with him. Still kissing, still marveling at him.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 20, 2006 23:40:33 GMT -5
Gods, she was all heat and smooth skin straddling me, her mouth so delicious on my own. My hands snaked up her back, dancing lightly over the ridged flesh until they were buried in her hair, angling her head just so.
She was home, the embodiment of everything Camlach was. Strong, fierce, honorable and proud. And yet there was beauty to her, hidden softness only shown to her chosen people. I wanted all of it, all of her and what she was offering. This would be no hasty coupling done after a battle, or a clandestine tumble to avoid our parent's catching us. No, I wanted this to be as I always dreamed it.
I clasped her to me with strong arms and managed to get to my feet, her body securely held to mine, dainty feet dangling. I strode to the bed and laid her out upon it.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 20, 2006 23:47:15 GMT -5
The oddity of being carried made me smile. Oh I had been carried when I was too wounded to walk, but this...was novel, his strong arms around me, looking so intently into my eyes.
The bed was a novelty too. Of the countless times Elton and I had coupled, only once had been on a bed, and even then, we had remained mostly clothed and then abandoned it soon after. Yes, the campaign in Milaza, eight months before my capture. So much carnage and the blood lust had ridden both of us hard. A peasant's hut, abandoned had served our need. My father had given me a suspicious look but said nothing.
This would be different.
He braced himself over me, looking down the length of my naked body. I arched my back slightly and met his eyes with a small smile and a defiance. Take me, it whispered, if you can.
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 21, 2006 14:11:10 GMT -5
I could see the challenge on her lips, feel the desire in every line of her body. Gods, the way her spine arched, just so... I lowered my body to hers and kissed her with all the love I had in my heart. No doubt this would be the last time I ever touched her before she married. Silently I cursed the gods and my father for putting me so close to her, and not giving me title enough to keep her. * * *
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 22, 2006 18:50:31 GMT -5
I don't remember what it was that woke me. A dream perhaps. Not one of violence or terror, though many of those had haunted my sleep for many years. No, it was something pleasant. I lay in the darkness for a moment trying to remember, listening to Elton breathing next to me. I should be thinking of other things besides dreams. For example, what had I let go on here in this bed? Oh the memories alone would keep my skin flushed with desire for years to come. Elua, it had been glorious, unlike anything before in my life. Hell, even Aleron, trained to do such things couldn't compare. He looked younger when he was asleep. Rolling onto my side, brushing aside the mane of hair Elton had released I stared down at him. He didn't wake. How many times had I looked at his face and seen nothing out of the ordinary? Countless times. And yet now, looking at him he seemed suddenly- Fool. You cannot keep him as anything but your Captain. He is not of noble birth, and Aleron already had a contract lined up. This was for the best anyway. Elton would never settle for empty vows, and I was not sure I could give him more than this. Sighing I curled up closer to him and let my eyes shut. Morning would end this dream soon enough. ***
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Aug 24, 2006 12:40:59 GMT -5
The sun was slowly filling my chambers, inching up the bed. I knew as soon as it reached her face, she'd wake, then Elua alone knew what would happen. Would she smile and let me love her again? Or scowl and leave, outraged as before? Who knew, personally, I was bracing for the rage. She was so easily riled.
Except when she slept. She was lying on her back, stretched and curled all at once, her long legs and strong arms. Her chest faintly rose and fell and it was so tempting to lay a trail of kisses from her soft belly to her mouth. But I knew, the second I touched her she'd be alert, too many years on campaign and trained to kill.
The tips of her hair caught fire in the sunlight as it moved up. Like gold shimmering on my sheets, her pale skin seeming warmer colored as well. No, she was not beautiful. Her face too irregular, all of her sharp angles and planes. But she was mine, for right now, and I thought she was stunning.
I ghosted my fingers along the curve of her cheek, over her lips and down her body to her navel. At least I had last night. Even though I wanted forever.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Aug 31, 2006 21:43:42 GMT -5
I woke slowly, by stages. The first was touch, warmth, sunlight creeping up my skin, rumpled sheets beneath my cheek. The second was sound, the faint trill of birds, muffled steps in the courtyard outside the high windows, Elton breathing softly right beside me. Last was sight, the crisp white of the linens, the dark wood of the bed and the wintry blue-gray of Elton's solemn eyes.
So like Camlach's skies on a cold day. He was frowning oh so slightly as he regarded me. Wary. He was not tense per say, but ready to be tense, as a handler was with a skittish war horse.
Yes. He had every right to be leery of my mercurial moods. I had punished and hurt him enough for him to treat me with caution. Even now, like this. I closed my eyes and tried not to think of the last time I had wept. Opening them, I did not smile, nor frown, just stared back. One hand went to his brow, thumb gently rubbing the creases between his brows.
"I have used you most cruelly, haven't I?"
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Post by Elton Tulare-Durante (D) on Sept 4, 2006 22:02:00 GMT -5
My eyes widened fractionally with surprise. "Yes. You have." What was her ploy, what tactic was she using on me? My frown deepened even though her fingers were vainly trying to soothe it away.
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Post by Jaiden Liatris-Durante (D) on Sept 12, 2006 22:29:23 GMT -5
It hurt, to see the pain and tension in his face, his body. I almost took my hand from his face, but forced myself to keep it there, to caress that beloved face.
"'Forgive me' is such a shallow thing to ask. And 'I'm sorry' is as well. But I am. I am sorry for using you so cruelly. I would undo the past if I could. Mayhap then we would have traveled a different path together. But I cannot, and what is done, is done. I must continue on this course, despite my regrets." He closed his eyes, squeezing them hard. I feared for a moment tears would spill forth but when he opened them, they just shone mirror bright. He smiled bitterly and leaned down to kiss me.
How cruel a kiss can be.
When he pulled away I sat up, feeling cold even though the sun shone warmly upon me. I found my clothing and put myself to rights before leaving. At the door, though I didn't mean to, I looked back. He was sprawled out on the bed, an arm flung over his eyes and his breathing was hitched and irregular. I should have returned to his side, changed my path and his , let go my regrets and fears from the past.
Quietly the door swung closed as my footsteps receded down the hall.
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