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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 9:38:16 GMT -5
We had been in the city some days now and I had kept mostly to the house, lamenting its low ceilings and its pitiful dimensions. How I missed the echoing marble halls of our home and the high granite towers. And as for the city … it was a disgusting place, full of commoners who were little more than cattle and soft, foolish nobles who cared for little beyond clothes and comforts. The air was stagnant with the reek of festering humanity, and the sky arched above us like a painted screen. Where was the salt-sharp breeze, the churning clouds, the thrashing waves? Even the trees were tamed, just like everything else.
My cousin had, indeed, led me into the darkest depths of hell and left me there.
I was sitting on the windowseat in one of the interchangeable drawing rooms, my forehead resting against the glass, trying not to give way entirely to despair and contempt.
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 9:48:12 GMT -5
I hadn't seen Tal before I'd gone to pick up my gown for the Midwinter Masque- poor thing, he must be moping. I could understand his hatred of this place, but the key to survival was to look for the darkness, see the weeping sores under all of the tamed beauty. Even here there was roiling waves and salt air, though it came from blood and tears rather than the sea.
Wandering through the house I finally found him, his face turned away from me but his demeanor drooping. Walking up behind him I pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. "Why so sad?" I whispered.
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 9:55:59 GMT -5
I was so lost in my own melancholy that I realise my cousin had even entered the room. I flinched slightly beneath her kiss, although it was surprise more than anything. Pain and pleasure cycle round us on a never-ending roundabout and you can never be quite sure where you are when the spinning stops. I tilted my head right back so I could look into her eyes, blue like a perfect dream of water, like life itself, life to me. From hell to heaven in the instant of a glance.
“I’m sad because I hate this city and all the people foolish enough to live in it. How do you stand it?”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 10:07:55 GMT -5
Smiling in understanding I ran a hand over his hair, soft as my own and just as black, eyes like the stormy seas I missed so much in my own way. "I look for the poison underneath, the fact that these people who hide Kushiel's glory have it beating so strongly in those hidden corners. Their hypocrisy comforts me."
I was in an exceptionally good mood after my shopping had gone so well and I lay a soft kiss on his lips, fleeting in case anyone walked by but still much gentler than usual. "I bought my gown for the Midwinter Masque- would you like to see it? I think you should if you're going to come with me."
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 10:21:37 GMT -5
“I would rather honesty,” I replied, nevertheless leaning into her touch, “and honest beauty. There is nothing here but artifice, tinkling fountains, and cultivated flowers and shorn grass.”
Her kiss startled me almost as her touch had earlier. It is rare to find such gentleness from her mouth. I sighed, my warm breath dancing lightly over her departing lips. It was the first attention I’d had from her for days. I had meant to be angry and aloof but I had been desolate without her touch and I couldn’t force myself to be anything other than desperately glad to have close again.
Gowns? What did I care for gowns? I’m sure we never spoke of such pointless frippery in Kusheth. But, for fear or losing her to the city once more, I mustered some interest. “Yes, I would like to see it. What did you choose?”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 10:28:46 GMT -5
"A siren," I said liltingly, my voice a sing-song soprano, clear as crystal. "You should think on your costume as well, it will be dreadfully sad if I don't get to have a dance with you." Running a hand over his back I walked back over to the table I had left the package of my gown on, unwrapping it from the paper and pulling it free gracefully. Grey-black with accents of red-gold, sleeveless and silky. "Can you see me in this, Tal?"
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 11:11:12 GMT -5
Her voice made me quiver like a plucked harp-string. I think she could make a man do anything for her, if she only asked him sweetly enough. As she moved away from me, it was all I could do not to read out a hand and drag her back. I turned on the windowseat to watch her, stretching my legs out in front of me and crossing them at the ankles. I smiled, heat flaring in my eyes, as held up the gown. “I can see you better out of it,” I said.
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 11:19:57 GMT -5
"I'm glad you like it," I said with a knowing grin at his pose and the shining grey depths of his eyes. "I'm not wearing it until the masque though so your seeing me slip from it will just have to wait."
Walking back over to him, blood racing at our secret teasing, I straddled his legs and perched above his lap, not letting my weight rest on him at all. "I picked it to please you, not just because it will look lovely on me, which I am sure it will. Tell me you'll go with me, Tal. Tell me you'll dance with me."
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 11:29:41 GMT -5
I gave a tormented gasp as she hovered like a ghost of sensuality just out of reach. I could feel heat from her body but nothing else of her. My hips moved just a little, for it was beyond my power to completely suppress a craving to touch her and capture her while she teased and denied.
“But we dance better in private,” I murmured, my eyes locked on hers, my body trapped and held by nothing but desire.
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 11:53:39 GMT -5
"I wouldn't know, we've rarely danced in public," I said sweetly, biting my lower lip and letting my breasts barely run by him. How long had it been since we'd shared this? "Please, Tal? It means so much to me." Gently I lowered myself onto his lap, resting my hands on his shoulders. "Have you missed me while I was busy? I have a suprise for us for tomorrow."
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 17:43:27 GMT -5
“I don’t like dancing … the public kind I mean,” I said, the words fading into a soft gasp as her body finally came to rest against mine. Impulsively I reached out to her, burying my hands in her hair, not even to hurt her, or control her but just to feel its weight and its texture, to remind myself that she was real. Usually, until I was sure of her mood, I’d be more careful but I was aching to touch her.
“Oh Elua, yes,” I whispered. “How I’ve missed you.” I paused, conscious of a vague apprehension and also of hope. Her surprises tended to hurt … but I never truly regretted them. “What sort of surprise?”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2006 19:07:27 GMT -5
"I like dancing with you though- please, Talenon, it would mean so much to me, to have you there to help me at my first true Court function. Besides, that's really the only way we can touch in public," I stated, running my fingertips lightly over his neck and shoulder. "Don't leave me to do it alone Tal." This time I let a slight hint of beseeching and fear enter my eyes. "I'll do anything."
Smiling again, though it was wan, I said, "As for the suprise- we're going to look at new things at L'Roches and then go to Valerian. You promised." I knew he didn't really want to go, but he had said he would and I knew he wouldn't leave me alone. Pressing my breasts against him I leaned close and pressed my lips against his cheek. "I missed you too."
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 7:31:52 GMT -5
I was drowning in the feel and the scent of her, a closeness that felt long denied to me although it could only have really been a matter of days … but my grey purgatorial days dragged endlessly without her. I pressed my face into the exposed skin revealed by her bodice, so she could not see the stark need that burned like tears in my eyes. I could not lose before I even began.
I didn’t want to do any of the things she asked me but the consequences of refusing were unthinkable. She used to do this when we were children; tease me into agreement and then insist upon it later with “you promised.”
All the same, I fought her pleading eyes and her sweet voice. “Must I? You know I would deny you nothing. This is truly what you want from me?”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 8:26:38 GMT -5
"Yes Tal- I will make it up to you, I will. I want you to see how different it is with us." I had missed him and all of this, how he made me burn; gently I flexed my hips against him, urged on by the feelings in my blood. "It has been too long, my love, my Tal."
Softly I brought a hand to his hair and ran my hands through it, letting my fingernails brushin his scalp like a shadow. "I sent the servants home, saying that we were going to get into a row about something. The house is empty except for us for some time."
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 8:34:02 GMT -5
“I don’t need to see it, I can feel it, I know it … the way the sea knows the sky.” But I shivered beneath the touch of her nails, the braids in my hair rustling against each other like a field of wheat disturbed by the wind.
I arched myself against her hips. She was a pulsing ember now … I wanted her to burst into an inferno. I met her eyes, a smile unfurling like a flag across my lips. “Well, we are … in a manner of speaking…”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 8:42:59 GMT -5
Smiling slyly I moved my hips up so he just barely brushed against me, gasping slightly at even that light contact. "That's true enough," I said with a matching grin. "But which of us is going to win this time?" I continued to let my fingers run between the lines of braids and shook some of my own hair forward to brush his cheek. "In fact, we haven't had anything in this house before. I wonder if the acoustics are terribly different?"
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 8:57:05 GMT -5
A shuddering breath issued from between my lips as body imperceptibly traced the lines of mine. Hunger flared but I held myself back, trying to judge her mood, for it was hard to tell between the teasing and the smiles. I wondered if it could be possibly be the same so far from wild Kusheth … could the city have tamed us too?
“Don’t they say it’s not wining or losing but how you play the game?” I asked. “Let’s make this stagnant city ring with screams.”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 9:11:28 GMT -5
With a smile of approval I twisted my hands in the mass of braids and wrenched his head back. "A good answer, my Talenon," I cooed as I slid back slightly so I could look him in the eye. The fires in my blood and gaze blazed almost madly and I gave a distinct growl of desire as I gripped his neck between my teeth, biting down sharply. I was almost beyond control; if he wanted to lead he would have to wrest it from me, though I doubted he would. As long as I had him it wouldn't matter.
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 10:29:03 GMT -5
I did not quite scream at that, but nevertheless I uttered a cry of startled pain. The first bright flashes of pure pain danced behind my wide eyes, each spark an individual flame as blue as her suddenly blazing eyes. My breath came quickly, but the pain was glorious because it came to me from her, a glittering gift from her teeth and her heart and her burning Shahrizai soul.
Usually it takes rather more than a snarl and bite to tame me but today I wanted her to. I wanted to feel in her touch and her fury that I was worth claiming and that what we had was better than anything the trained submission of a Valerian adept could give her.
Perhaps I would fight her soon but for the moment I shuddered but did not struggle in her grip until the hand upon my hair felt almost like a caress and her teeth in my neck a kiss.
“Yes … yours …” I echoed, my voice harsh with pain.
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 10:41:26 GMT -5
His sounds of pain and tremors ran through me and I moaned against his flesh, careful not to draw blood this time. Still, submission was what I was going to get at Valerian; I wanted something more from him, something darker. "I thought we were going to have a row, Tal?" I whispered as I sucked and nibbled on his earlobe, then bit it sharply. "Or have I won already? If so, I think I have the rope and flechettes somewhere around here.."
Sitting back I turned his chin up toward mine. "That's what you want, isn't it? Tell me the truth, Tal. I don't like the lies today, not with Valerian so close and the City surrounding us."
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 11:12:39 GMT -5
Flechettes? What need had she for those when she had her tongue. And what did she mean? She was like a jungle cat; although she might deign to roll on her back and play the kitten, in truth she was a wild thing all claws and teeth and heedless cruelty. It was devastating … and magnificent, keeping me caught in some inexplicable dreamland of adoration and hatred.
I tore my chin from her fingers, not caring if her nails caught my skin. We were beyond such petty pains right now. “Winning, losing,” I said, “The lie is that there’s a difference.” I leaned forward and kissed her hard, pressing my teeth against her lower lip enough to bruise. It wasn’t a kiss so much as an act of brutality and power and possession.
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 11:21:42 GMT -5
With a cry of pain and outrage I scooted further back, knowing he wouldn't let go and would instead lean forward. Once I had reached the edge of the nook I slipped from it and curled my nails in his shoulder, drawing him down with me as I rolled from beneath where he would land. Small thrills of fear rushed through my veins; had I finally pushed him too far? Once he had landed I straddled his waist and held his hands above his head, my fingernails in the back of his wrists to control him.
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 13:46:56 GMT -5
I drank the sound of pain and fury she made as if it were the finest wine, bearing down upon her as she tried to struggle away from the pressure of my lips and teeth. But she darted out from beneath me quicksilver and I was too precariously balanced to do anything but fall with her when she tumbled us both to the floor. I made a hissing sound of thwarted anger and surprise, but I still fought all the way, suddenly determined to withhold that which I had, only seconds ago, so freely given.
She was on top of me before I had time to react, pinning me with her body weight, slight though it was. In time, I knew I would be able to throw her if I kept struggling. My wrists writhed within her grip, only the pain of her nails scoring the backs of my hands to prevent me wrenching myself free. I was stronger than she was, but she was merciless in her determination … I think she would have not hesitated to tear my skin to the bone to keep me beneath her.
Sometimes I think we play our games on the edge of an abyss, with only the promises of an endless darkness beneath. Why, then, as we stray ever closer to the brink does my blood sing?
Breathing hard, mustering my strength for a further assault, I glared up her with her storm-dark eyes. A warning hovered like heat between us. Let her hold me down, then, for fear of my vengeance when she releases me. I peeled my lips back from my teeth and snarled at her.
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 14:03:05 GMT -5
Laughing madly I continued to hold him down, never willing to let go though my nails were slipping in the blood and it would soon be lost anyway. I never let go for fear of what he would do, be it leaving or letting lose his petulant rage. When he had taken my maidenhead I hadn't let go of him for hours afterward, for the only time in my life consumed with the fear of his abandonment. This time, I feared the same thing as well as his reactions. I didn't deserve him and one day he would learn that. And so I kept my grip, too frightened to change it.
Blood raging in my veins I released my nails from his skin, holding him with my small strength alone as I pressed my hungry, biting mouth to his, biting and licking. Anger at my fears and he who caused them caused me to light ablaze where his form touched mine. "Mine in the city, mine at home, mine everywhere," I snarled against his kiss.
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 14:21:17 GMT -5
Her laughter sliced at me like blades. She laughed like this when I had her for the first time. I think I wept, but I cannot remember myself, only her, a blaze of snow white skin and rose red blood, her hair spilling out behind her like snakes, and her throat rippling with wild laughter. I dream of it sometimes ... I hear her laughing somewhere in the Bois de Millefleurs and I follow her through the early morning mist and the brambles and the briars and the thorns tear me to pieces and I never find her.
I could feel a fair quantity blood trickling down my arms from my hands and wrists. Her grip was slipping, although my vision was flooded bronze until I realised I was fighting for the sake of the pain rather than for the fight. I muffled my groans in her mouth as she kissed me, each touch of her teeth another spark that seemed so close to pleasure I could not understand that it was pain. My body was aflame beneath her and where I had bucked against her to dislodge her now it was desire that drove me. They were not pleasure and desire such as any not of Kushiel’s line could have understood them. It something beyond that, some roaring beast of pain and fear and fury, and it hurt, it hurt so beautifully
“And when you do not want me,” I gasped, against her hungry, biting, venomous lips, “what am I then?”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2006 14:38:30 GMT -5
His body moved against mine and I gasped against him, writhing and wanting desperately as my grip kept slipping, the amount of blood on the floor a completely alien concept to me. Not enough to kill- that was enough to know.
it took a moment for his words to sink into the crimson and bronze fires that I danced within, but finally I did, eyes locking into his. "When I do not want you," I said lowly, "I won't know because I will be dead and in Hell, dancing in flames and waiting for you." With a quick movement I pulled my hands from his wrists and tore the front of his shirt open, following the line with my nails and teeth and lips.
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 7, 2006 8:37:29 GMT -5
“Then why do you keep me in hell now?” I cried.
I felt the pressure ease on my blood-slick wrists. The pain was making me light-headed enough not to care what she did to me, as long as she did and there was no time to think, or to wonder, or to fear. I kept my hands above my head, the chill of the floor burning through the aching of the wounds she had left, not quite ready to confront the fresh pain of moving them. Close to my ear I could hear the steady drip of blood onto the floor, as inevitable as the ticking of a clock.
The ripping of my shirt cut through the air like a scream. Cold air replaced heat and then pain replaced everything. I thrashed beneath her as she made her way down my body, leaving a line of red-gold fire in the wake of her teeth and nails. I couldn’t have told you if I was moving to escape or demand more. And the sounds from my lips could have been anything.
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 7, 2006 8:54:24 GMT -5
Stopping for a moment, I looked at him, writhing in pain and completely dazed and ignored the fires in my head for the love in my heart. "Because I have to be here and I can't bear to not have you with me," I said softly, eyes welling with tears for a moment. "And even if it would make you happier I can't stand to let you go because you may not return. I don't deserve you, half-mad creature that I am."
Scooting back until I rested between his legs and unfastened his breeches, pulling out his hardness and stroking it softly before wrapping my lips around it. This was going to be about pure pleasure, fighting my urges to please him in a sort of apology. To show him that I could be whatever he wanted as long as he would only think well of me again.
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Post by Talenon Shahrizai on Jul 7, 2006 9:47:14 GMT -5
And just as suddenly it was gone, all gone, leaving only her shimmering eyes and her soft voice and a look that annihilated me more completely than blades or whips ever could. The momentary cessation of everything was bliss … an icy, empty bliss that yearned for the very fire it soothed. I lay beneath her, still and gasping, my eyes slowly clearing.
I made a different kind of sound as her lips closed around my prick, my eyes drifting slowly closed, warmth and pleasure washing over me like waves lapping against the beach on a calm day. It was wonderful, exquisite, sublime … and yet. I reached down my body, and wrapped my hand round her hair, drawing her upright again, firmly but not painfully. I could not quite smother a murmur of protest as her mouth left me at my own instigation. I put my arms around her, leaving streaks of my blood on her pale skin, and pulled her body down on top of mine.
“No,” I said, meeting those glorious, subdued eyes, “No. I adore you, all of you, the fire, the madness, the pain. I’ll scream for you and bleed for you and weep for you and you’ll do the same for me in your turn. You are the only happiness I’ll ever know. Do what you will with me, and I'll love for you it.”
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Post by Sirena Shahrizai on Jul 7, 2006 14:48:43 GMT -5
Lying on him as I did a finger ran through his pooled blood on the floor and I licked it off, moaning slightly at the taste. "Do you know why pain tastes so sweet?" I asked, head cocked slightly sideways. "Because it must be endured and life is about enduring. It's also about surrender, and that tastes just as sweet for the same reason. Therefore, shouldn't surrender and pain together be the sweetest taste of all?"
My hand going to the back of his neck I lifted his head to meet mine in a hungry kiss. "I love you. Why didn't you sneak in to see me, Tal? I wanted and missed you," I whispered against his lips. "Didn't you want to see me?'
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