Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 27, 2009 16:17:05 GMT -5
"Any musical events coming up then?" I asked, determined to plan something with him.
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Post by teo on May 27, 2009 16:20:59 GMT -5
“I don’t know. I’m sure there are concerts being performed, but I don’t know exactly when where or who,” I answered.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 27, 2009 18:04:50 GMT -5
I studied him for a moment. He was dragging his heels. "Then I'll ask around and find out who's performing in the next couple of weeks," I said. "If you wish."
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Post by teo on May 27, 2009 23:21:35 GMT -5
“Of course,” I said, looking at my tea as I swirled it in my cup. “I enjoy experiencing the arts with you Mercedes, very much.”
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 28, 2009 1:08:06 GMT -5
I bit my lip, keeping my frustrated words unspoken. Silence dragged between us as I took a sip of tea, trying to figure out what to say to him.
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Post by teo on May 28, 2009 1:12:21 GMT -5
The silence was like a weight and I felt it crushing me.
“This is why I’m sorry,” I said, lifting my head and looking at her. “I’ve ruined it, the friendship we had. If I’d kept my feelings to myself then we could have at least been friends and if I went home and pined for you then that was my own worry and at least things weren’t awkward between us. I’m so sorry Mercedes.”
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 28, 2009 13:44:03 GMT -5
I single tear escaped to slide down my cheek.
"You say you're not asking for anything more than friendship, but now you won't even give me that. Perhaps I'm being selfish, but I'm all alone in this city, and I need friends." Another tear escaped, and I knew that if I didn't control myself soon that I would start seriously crying and cause a scene. So I rose. "Once you chose to stop ruining it, send me a letter. I'll miss you Teo," I whispered before gathering my coat and heading for the door, trying to hold in the tears.
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Post by teo on May 28, 2009 13:54:32 GMT -5
The sight of her crying made my heart break with such intensity that it surprised me everyone else in the café hadn’t heard the sound and stopped to look. And I was the cause of those two glittering tears that trailed down her perfect cheeks.
She was away while I sat still, stunned. Then it felt like something inside me actually kicked me in the chest from the inside and broke my revere. Jumping up, I dug out enough coins to cover our tea and tossed them on the table before running after her.
I caught up with her just outside the door. “Mercedes, stop, please,” I said, reaching for her, but stopping short, not sure if she wanted me to touch her. “I’m a fool. Dear gods, I’m a fool. I never meant to hurt you, and I’d rather throw myself in front of a wagon than make you cry. I was embarrassed and I guess my pride was bigger than I imagined. I’m so sorry, please don’t go.”
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 28, 2009 14:29:40 GMT -5
I turned at the sound of his voice, just in time to watch as he stopped himself from touching me. That was the final punch in the gut. He couldn't even bear to touch me. The dam broke and I couldn't stop the tears now. Already I was mourning the loss of his friendship.
"I left so that I wouldn't embarrass you," I whispered, clutching my arms around my body, trying to hold myself. "Even more. What do you want me to say?"
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Post by teo on May 28, 2009 15:56:02 GMT -5
“What? No, I was embarrassed at myself. You’ve never done anything to embarrass me,” I said, distraught at the look on her face and what I’d done.
I stepped a little closer to her, but not pressing. “Please, let me see you home at least. I’ve ruined the night, but you mean too much to me not to make sure you are safe,” I said softly. Tentatively, I held out my hand to her, praying she wouldn’t pull away. “Please.”
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 28, 2009 23:16:09 GMT -5
I sniffed in a very unladylike fashion. "Fine, just get me away from this place," I whispered, taking his offered hand. I would never admit it, but I was embarrassed by my own behaviour, by my own tears. I was not acting like a properly reared lady, I was acting like a selfish child.
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Post by teo on May 28, 2009 23:21:42 GMT -5
As I began to lead her back to the carriage, I retrieved my handkerchief from my pocket and offered it to her.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 28, 2009 23:49:08 GMT -5
I sniffed again, and took the kerchief. "Thank you," I whispered, blotting the worst of the moisture from my cheeks and then wiping my nose. Doubtless I looked dreadful. An infantile mess.
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Post by teo on May 29, 2009 12:46:00 GMT -5
Desperately I searched my mind for anything to say that didn’t sound stupid or would make things worse, and I kept coming up short. I wanted to hold her, to wrap my arms around her comfort her while she cried if she wanted to. I ached to be able to soothe the hurt away instead of being the one who caused it. I didn’t realize it, but I held her hand a little tighter, instinctively seeking to comfort her through the small link between us.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 30, 2009 0:59:01 GMT -5
He held my hand tighter, but I didn't know what to say to him anymore. I was embarrassed and upset. And right then, I didn't trust myself to speak. I just wanted to go home and cry myself to sleep.
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Post by teo on May 30, 2009 1:04:06 GMT -5
We reached the carriage and I held the door open for her.
“Do you want to be alone?” I asked softly.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
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Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 30, 2009 23:44:28 GMT -5
The irony of his question almost had me crying again. "Isn't that why I'm upset?" I asked at a whisper. I couldn't meet his eye, not without renewed tears, so I simply climbed into the cab.
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Post by teo on May 31, 2009 0:03:00 GMT -5
Her response leveled me and I grasped the step of the carriage. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut, only that would have hurt less. She’d not told me to go, nor said she wanted me to see her home. Instead it was a bitter reply that cut me to the quick.
“I’m sorry,” I said despondently, breaking down. Tears rushed down my cheeks and pain of loss I’d not felt since my parents died filled me. “I’m sorry,” I said again to the open carriage door, the darkness inside making it impossible to see through my tears.
I backed away and said to my driver, “Take her home, make sure she’s safe.” She didn’t want to be with me. Backing further, I felt my back hit the wall of the building and I slid to the ground, covering my head with my arms and burying my face against my drawn up legs as I cried.
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Mercedes de las Aragonia
Royal
Princesa of Aragonia and Condesa de Lleida
Daughter of Rafael and Colette de las Aragonia
Posts: 1,546
|
Post by Mercedes de las Aragonia on May 31, 2009 16:10:43 GMT -5
I had not meant to wound him so with my words. But now I could not take them back. Why couldn't he have just let me gone when I had first tried to leave? I would have been the only one in tears, he would still have had his dignity.
The driver closed the door for me, and I began to sob as the carriage jerked into motion.
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Post by teo on May 31, 2009 16:16:25 GMT -5
The carriage left and I don’t know how long I sat there crying, but some time later a City guard came by and told me to get moving. I didn’t respond at first, still too dazed, so he kicked me and told me to get my lazy arse off the street.
Using the wall, I dragged myself upright and began to stagger off in what I thought was the direction of home. The guard muttered something about drunks making his life miserable, but left me alone. Empty except for the intensity of loss, I continued to move along the street.
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