In Need of a Drink

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I sighed, "I hadn't even thought about the fact that she'd have a different name. If she kept the same name it would be Liana. I wonder if she has any of her Yeshuite heritage with her or not, I guess it would depend on who raised her. I haven't kept any of mine really. Sometimes I use my father's name, but only when I want to let whoever I'm talking to know I am not 100% d'Angeline by culture. This is defiantly going to be difficult."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

"Well, at least you have some idea where to start- and once you've started, you can begin eliminating the places it isn't. She could be in the Yeshuite portion of Mont Nuit, and that would be the place where it would be hardest to track her down, or the Tsingani quarter. If she's not either of those places, she must be somewhere else, and Yeshuites are more rare in those cases- I think I've only seen a couple adepts with Yeshuite blood in the Houses."

Sighing and not knowing how I could even help in the matter I took another sip of water and then set down the glass.

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I nodded at each place that Allisande had listed, I hadn't really even thought about where to start, so she was helping me out quite a bit.

"That is good advice, thank you. I hadn't really been able to get my thoughts straight yet. If I was smart I'd go home and sleep on it, I'd probably feel better in the morning. The difficult part would be falling asleep, a few more glasses of wine might help though."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

"Sleep will help, but so will being able to talk out your ideas and plans if you wish to," I said matter-of-factly. I'm glad you find my advice helpful- I haev the feeling that most people see me as pushy- and would be willing to help you in whatever way you wish." Smiling, I cocked my head to the side and waited to see if he wanted to go and try to sleep after all or if he was going to stay. He was very intelligent and good to talk to.

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I looked down at my second glass, it was almost finished, but I still didn't even have a mild buzz. I signaled for the server to bring me another and then turned my attention back to Allisande.

"Don't worry, I'm not trying to ditch you this early, I couldn't sleep right now anyhow. I find talking to you very refreshing."

I finished up my second glass and accepted my third.

"I haven't found you pushy yet, maybe I don't know you well enough yet," I said with a slight tease in my voice.

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

Raising a brow I let my eyes twinkle teasingly in return. "I'm glad you don't feel the need to escape as of yet, I've been trying to stay moderate with my opinions. I haven't found you brooding either."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I smiled at Allisande, "don't worry about shielding your comments from me, trust me, with my parents I can take extreme thoughts. They where extreme even for their own kind. They took every letter of the Yeshuite law to the extreme. That is part of the reason I rebelled, if they had been more average I probably wouldn't have been such a pain."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

My House is one of the more strict ones, but I never felt the need to rebel- I fit in too well, I guess. I'm sure you weren't a real pain, though it does sound like your parents may have been very hard on you. I don't think children can be lead, only shown the path."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

"Hmm, I don't know how I would compare in terms of rebelliousness, I blocked out a lot of that part of my life after my parents died. It was easier on me that way, I'm sure I could sit down and re-remember most of it, but it wasn't the happiest time of my life. I know I stressed them out enough that they sent me away. I wasn't killing animals or anything that extreme, but I was defiantly head strong."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

Nodding, I tried to understand. "I was honored to be sent to my House, it was a way of following family tradition. Then again, as I have said before, a family where a member was once in the Night Court is much different than the other type." Placing my forearms against the edge of the table I leaned slightly closer and then sipped some of the water.

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

"Yea, to be honest I don't even know why I rebelled so much. Of course maybe its in my blood, the reason my parents where living in Kusheth in the first place is because they rebelled against their own people. My parents weren't suppose to wed, but they loved each other and therefor ran away instead of trying to find someone else." I gave a deep sigh and said, "maybe they would still be alive if they hadn't done so, or if I hadn't been such a pain, but at least they where happy and full of hope. I've seen way to many lifeless people in the upper class."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

Immediately after hearing his words I could sense the bitterness and sorrow behind them. Looking over at him, I tried to catch his eyes as I reached over and set a soothing hand on his cheek. "They lived their lives in love and in Elua's lands and there is no way you are responsible for any of this. I'm sorry you lost your parents and sister, but you are trying to fix what was done and that is all you can take responsibility for."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

My skin instantly warmed when Allisande touched my cheek, I also relaxed a little. Resting my head on my hand I said, "I know that it is not truly my fault, but its hard not to think that I couldn't have somehow reversed what happened. Maybe there is a reason for it, after all isn't that what religion teaches, everything happens for a reason? I just wish I could understand it. Maybe if I find my sister I will understand, maybe she lived a much better life for it. Though I don't see how living away from your parents could be better. I might not have agreed with what they did, but in their hearts they where good people, only wanting the best for their children."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

Eyes emphatic with sincerity, I said, "That isn't what Elua teaches- I find his lessons more along the lines of 'bad things happen, and we learn to live and love through them'. Everything doesn't happen for a reason, it just happens and we find a way to give it meaning within ourselves, to let us know who we truly are. I don't think your parents would want you to spend your life unhappy over something that was beyond your family's control."

Unconsciously my thumb began to trace along his cheekbone and I realized I hadn't moved my hand yet. With an apologetic smile I slowly pulled my hand back. "I'm sorry..I guess old habits die hard."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

When Allisande moved her hand I realized that I had been unconsciously moving my head toward her hand, though it was only a slight move. Having straightened my head back to its normal position on my neck I said, "Don't apologize, its nice to have some affection. It is one area that your culture has grown well over mine. Sometimes they are too cold toward each other, afraid that they will invite temptation."

I thought about what Allisande had said about Eula and what the teachings meant to her.

"It sounds like me and Eula have a few ideals in common. I find it very difficult to devote myself to one religion, I still question authority I guess." I gave a half sarcastic smile at that comment. Maybe I hadn't changed as much as an adult as I thought I had.

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

Raising a brow I put my hand back on his cheek- comfort was an easy thing to offer, it was noble to help those who needed it. "Though I am not the type to rebel or question, I see the good it can do for those who need it. Some people are built to wonder and some are made to accept- I fit into the latter group, but I see the purpose and usefulness of the former."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I leaned into her hand again, it was nice to feel someone's touch. I had defiantly secluded myself a little to much over the years.

"Its good that there are people of variety, it helps to balance out the population in general. Can you imagine if everyone just fit into their position and never questioned, society would never advance. On the other hand, if everyone was a rebel we would have utter chaos and again never get anywhere. You defiantly need a little of both."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

Once again, almost unconsciously, my thumb began to skim over his cheek. "I very much agree," I said conversationally but in a somewhat soothing tone. "This world is one of balance, hard to soft, beauty to ugliness, kindness to cruelty, control to submission. It seems that everyone has their own place at the axis of every trait, making us all different but all posessing of the same things. Infinite variety in infinite balance, even if it doesn't seem to be." His skin was soft beneath my hand, and warm.

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I finished my wine, I was finally starting to get a warm buzz from it, but it was pretty mild, the server had started eyeing me at this point, realizing that I was going to create a large bill and hopefully a large tip, so she made a question motion to see if I wanted a refill. I gave her a quick acknowldegement and she quickly went to fetch me another glass.

"Those are words of intelligence and beauty," I told Allisande, the wine finally relaxing me, though I still had all of my mental control about me, "what sort of things do they teach you at Dahlia anyhow, tibits like that or was that simply your own thoughts?"

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

I purposely steered myself away from taking offense at his comment- he was drinking and there was a good chance he wasn't thinking completely clearly. Serenely, I said, "Thank you for the compliment. At Dahlia we learn that we are accepted into the House not only for our appearance, but also for out bearing and intelligence. Every day we are told that what we think can be just as insightful as any nobles thoughts, but that dignity comes from treating all as your equals, even if society would say they are your better or lesser people. Dignity and pride come from self-confidence and the unwillingness to let others look down on you. Along, of course, with the adept's tricks and an education in the high society arts."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I listened as Allisande explained about Dahlia. I nodded in agreement with all she said, "that is a good practice to teach. I would not be in the position that I am if fate hadn't put me here, I would possibly still be a shephard somewhere or a farmer maybe, it would probably be a easier life in some ways. Put on a show for all your peers can be a tiring thing sometimes." I thought about what I said for a moment and then added, "not that I'm not thankful for my estate or any of my other gifts, life could be worse."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

"I understand about putting on facades- not even a Dahlia wants to be dignified all of the time, but that is what we must be. Still, if I hadn't been accepted to my House I would have lived to the best of my ability, but there's no way to know because that was not what Fate had in mind for me."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

"Yea, we are what fate lets us be, granted we do have our own personalities and minds, but if you are put into a position of power than you need to respect it and be that person." I brooded over what I said for a moment and said, "I wonder if its more correct to follow fate or to just do whatever feels right to you. Sometimes I think it would be so nice to just dump everything and wonder around for a while, explore the world, have nothing to tie me down. In the long run though there would be no one to run the estate, everyoe employeed there would be without, and there is no one to pass it down too. Unless I manage to find my sister I have no family. Maybe she could run things for me and then I could leave." I dreamed about this thought for a moment and then thought about what I said, I am not normally this opened, maybe it was the wine, in fact I hadn't realized how trapped I had been feeling until now, I looked into Allisande's eyes and asked, "Is that selfish of me?"

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

My gaze full of sincerity and some curiousity- I'd never seen every that shade of clear brown before and they were lovely- I answered quietly, "It is in human nature to desire what one is not at the moment posessing- not only un the sense of pleasure and the flesh, but also emotionally and mentally. Everyone wonders what their life would be like if things happened differently- that's where empathy is born. Also, you are a wonderer- curiousity is your natural state, as is the wish to question. If you find your sister, will she have been trained to run an estate, or will she want to? I don't know. But I don't think there's any harm in keeping that fantasy."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I gave Allisande my first completely genuinely happy smile, it was very nice to hear that you where not that bad of a person, truth be told I am a little to hard on myself most of the time.

"I guess you are right, we are all just human, we have hopes and dreams, even if we aren't able to fill all of them. I should maybe take a vacation when things settle down. I won't be abandoning my people, but I'll be able to get out and see something new."

I then reached up and gently took Allisande's hand off my face. I can't receive affection for overly long and not return it. I held her hand in mine for a moment, rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb. Her fingers where graceful and well kept, "you have pretty hands." I told her, looking at them and for a moment wondering what it would be like to suck on her fingers. I quickly banished the thought though, Allisande was not some sexual toy, she was defiantly more than that.

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

Nodding in agreement to his idea about a vacation, I replied, "That sounds like a reasonable compromise- I didn't even think of it. Adepts don't really get vacations, so sometimes the fact that they exist slips my mind." I think the sudden apearance of a genuine grin had be a little taken aback and I responded with a very similar one. He didn't seem to be the type to agree with a statement while secretly ignoring it.

His hand on mine was soft but strong and warm, the thumb tracing small lines across the back- unless I was missing my guess completely, the alcohol effect was getting even stronger in his blood. "Thank you," I said graciously as I raised a curious brow and drew a long, thin finger across his wrist in a subtle motion wondering how he would react or if he would even notice. The next move was his. "Your hands are very strong."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

I was about to reply to Allisande's lack of vacations when she ran her finger across my wrist and said my hands where strong. My mine went down a completely different road after that.

My other hand left the drink it has been holding and moved over to the hand I was holding. I started to lightly massage it, enjoying the delicacy of it, but also the strength. I didn't say anything for a moment because the only lines running through my head seemed very wrong and, quite frankly, immature. With nothing better to say, but in honesty, I said, "Your eyes are beautiful too."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

My eyes went half-lidded with pleasure at his rubbing then widening slightly to offer a better view of the eyes he was admiring, as well as taking in his. "Thank you," I said again, deciding to see how far this could go as I brought my other hand to his face and ran fingertips along his cheek to push strands of hair behind his ear. Part of the art taught at Dahlia was to touch without really touching, so everything seemed ephemeral. "You have the clearest brown eyes I've ever seen."

[Rannan de Fournier (D)]

My heart started to pound a little as Allisande brushed the hair away from my cheek. I am usually able to keep pretty cool in these games, but the alcohol was blurring my mind and giving an avenue for my body to heat up quicker.

I then took Allisande's other hand and held them both, I needed some fresh air so that I could think. I tilted my head forward a little and looked up toward her, looking her deep in the eye, "if you want to see something clear, I have a little well in the back of my estate that has some of the finest water in Terre d'Ange, I could show it to you and we could get out of this noisy place."

[Allisande nó Dahlia]

The familiar rush of blood to my skin, the feeling of being clever prey dancing around the hunter's snare- this is what it meant to be a free adept, marque made and able to choose my own path. "That sounds like an interesting thing to see," I said coyly and with a faint grin as I held his gaze with my chin set proudly. "I will have to find something else beautiful for you to look at in return, though." I wondered if he was too addled from the wine to catch that innuendo.