Realizations and Honesties

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

If there was one thing I'd learned, it was I needed to be myself. I had to be, and Del had to be himself too, or nothing was going to work. I couldn't run from those I cared for, and I couldn't hide my face, I couldn't avoid -- I wouldn't be a coward, and Delaunay, too, had felt the same. How could either of us expect the other to be everything, when they were altering themselves to fit? It wouldn't be, and I refused to hide anymore, even if no one but myself knew I was doing it. I had talked to Delaunay, and in the end we had decided it was best if we were friends. Friends who owed each other nothing, but too friends who knew the other was there for them.

That there was history and feelings between Balta and I I wouldn't deny... and mayhap some people would consider this a fools errand, but I was determined not to lose him as a friend. Love as Thou Wilt was straightforward and complex; I loved Balta, and though we couldn't love physically, I still hoped we could be friends.

So, as it was, I donned a springy-light green dress, one made light for a warm early summer day, and made my way to Baltas winery. A parasol twirled over my shoulder as I walked, and I had my blond locks twisted up into a pretty knot at the back of my head, leaving my neck clean and bare, without a necklace to break it up either. Folding my parasol, I made my way into the shoppe to begin browsing, though I couldn't help but peek over the racks as I did, looking for that familiar face.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I had barely stepped outside the shoppe today, from the moment I opened its doors for business, there had been a steady flow of patrons, not overwhelming, but not sparse either, and so i manned the till when i could, the bar as well, and made appearances on the floor to help people find what they were looking for. I heard the bells ring at the door, but did not turn to see who had entered, busy helping a young lady find a wine for a dinner she was attending to meet her lover's parents for the first time. She did not have a good deal of coin of her own, and so i was trying to show her what was best within her price range.

"If your lover fears them, they are probably a harder lined bunch, and so something stronger may help loosen them a bit, but if they are loving and supportive, then something softer, a rose perhaps,a sweet and lint wine might be perfect," she nodded, looking at the two bottles I held, then chose the stronger of the two with a worrisome look on her face. I chuckled, running a hand throguh my locks as i shook my head.

"I am sure you will be fine. Remember he's wrapped around your finger, not their's hmm?". And with that she brightened,smiling and went to cash out.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

There were others in the shoppe, and I smiled, stepping aside for a mother with a dark haired little boy afoot to pass easier. It was nice, these expeditions, when I had no guards with me, no one recognizing me for who I was. I walked a few more paces, glancing down isles, when I saw a mop of hair that I'd recognize anywhere.

He was helping someone else, in just the next isle over, and it was impossible not to hear their chatter. He was so.. relaxed, so easy going, and I smiled to myself as I watched them, then made my way to the isle that gave the clearest view of him, and would give him the clearest of me. I paused by its far end, and watched, my face relaxed and happy, happy to see him, happy to be back in here again. My eyes followed him; he'd see me eventually, when he was through with his customer, and I was patient enough.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I heard footsteps behind me, those of a lady's dainty little clip flops of slight heels, not the thud of men's boots, and so before I turned I already had a smile on my face, and when I looked upon the woman, a sight before me, it took me a moment, and a double take, some second guessing, eye-squinting and muttering under my breath until I realized, yes, it was Bella, and yes, she really was before me. My eyes widened, ut I truly did not know how to react. I had ot seen her for ages, had not spoken to her, heard from her by written missive, nothing, not after she left my home that day, after we had....

I swallowed hard, running a hand through my locks before I laughed, a little out of place, and. A little nervously. I was never nervous. It didn't help that I also held a ottle of the wine that had her namesake in my hand to return it to it's rightful place. I just started, and then finally my brain gave my body the kick in the arse it needed and words spilled thoughtlessly out of my mouth.

"You never even wrote," was all i uttered, and then my eyes widened a fraction at my imbecilic response to her appearance, and I shut my gaping mouth and shook my head. "I mean, well....long time no see."

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

He looked completely and utterly shocked, his face slack, his hand running through his hair like he was wont to do so very often. My smile grew a little, but when he spoke finally, it melted away like ice on a griddle.

He was right. He was right, he was right. Guilt washed through me and I ducked my head, ashamed, though I wouldn't cry, because I knew Balta was sweet enough to care for me if I did. He had no obligations towards me. A piece of me wished I'd never come today, had let him stay in his peaceful happy mood, and another part of me knew I had to have.. Now, especially, knowing how he felt. He deserved it.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, but I made myself pick my eyes up to meet his, no matter how difficult it was. "I'm so very sorry, Balta."

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I could see the hurt come over her, which was not my intention at all. I frowned slightly, moving half a step closer, but remmebering the things I had heard on the tongues of drunk women adn men, and of course, things that had been publicly announced, of her, and Del, the man she had fled from in the first place, now returned to her life, to what I was sure he guesssed was his rightful place, and maybe she believed it too, but I knew in my heart otherwise. I felt... emboldened, by that part of me that had just told me to step back, keep my distance, and instead of letting her stand there, forcing her eyes to meet mine, her words as sad as the tone her voice held, I moved forward, closing the gap between us, and embraced her. I did not kiss her, but just held her in my arms, as a friend might, and nothing more. It hurt, by the Gods and the seven hells did it hurt, cut straight through me, but it felt so terribly good too, so right, as it had been before. I took a deep breath, inhaling the scne to fher locks.

"Do not be sorry," I murmured before pulling back. Afterall, there were people about, and this was my shoppe. "Do not be sorry, just.... promise you will not let our friendship fall wayward again," I said, my eyes and words and the curve of my lips hopeful that she would agree, and that she would keep this promise.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

He enveloped me in a hug, and it was the last thing I expected, having thought instead that there would be more awkwardness between us. There wasn't though, and I wrapped my arms around him in kind, holding onto his waist in earnest and letting go only when he pulled back again.

"I promise," I replied, embarrassed still, but putting on a smile for his benefit and hoping he wouldn't see how terribly bad I felt. "I've made so many mistakes..." My voice trailed away, and I laughed it off, a small, soft sound that was accompanied by the dismissive wave of my hand. "Tell me how you've been," I said, my smile coming easier to my mouth now. If you're not too busy that is.. I know this is your place of employ, after all," I added, glancing about us both.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

"If we don't make them, Bella, we never learned," I said, reaching forward to pinch her cheek playfully before I chuckled softly, shaking my head, my curls bouncing about my brow as they always did. I sighed heavily, looking about the store. There were a few people in it, some at the cash, some at the bar drinking, others looking at bottles of wine, and I felt proud. I was glad she came at a time when we were busy, if for no other reason than to hope that she saw and thought I was successful here in her land. For what reason, I could not think it, except perhaps there was still that old feeling there... hells I knew it was there, the want to show her that I could provide well enough, even if I was no prince of any blood.

"Well we have been busy since the winter let up, and the warm weather started rolling back in. It seems fetes are a common occurence in the City, and wine is always welcome and often needed. But I have time for a friend," I said, "besides, the boss was about to send me on a break anyways," I teased with a wink.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

His jest made the smile on my mouth grow more, and I was again so thankful that I had come to him today. I needed a friend, one who wasn't interested in what fashions I wore or how long it took me to do my hair. I needed someone who didn't care about my titles or blood, but cared about me.

Thankfully, the scent of apples wasn't around me, and I reached, linking my arm familiarly with his, as if we were two school children about to skip off. "Does he make you stay on-site?" I asked, my eyes sparkling with pleasure. "Or can I beg you to come get a stickybun with me at a little vendor down the street? It's not far," I promised, my smile never fading.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I chuckled, her visage changing entirely, no more was there sadness, or fear or anything of the like there, but the light, airy Bella I knew and adored, the one that made me smile, much like I did now. That was one of the reasons I had missed her so dearly, her smile and laughter was infectious, when it was about her, and I tried always to make those things appear.

She linked her arm with mine, and I almost laghed, smiling brighter for it as we moved down the aisle and into the open. I gestured towards the bartender and the girl at the till with a raise of my hand and a smile to let them know that I would be out for a moment. They nodded, smiling.

"Oh yes, I think he might, just this once though, afterall how could he say no to you!" I teased, chuckling then as we walked towards the door. "Though I cannot say that he wont tan my hide for it when you aren't looking, if for no other reason than sheer jealousy, that I got to go out and get a sticky bun and didnt bring any back," I went on, laughing again, sighing afterwards. "I have missed this... I have missed you," I said with a solemn smile.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

He jested back and I laughed, walking with him towards the doors. When he turned to wave, I flashed them a bright grin as well and inclined my head towards them, a silent thank-you for allowing me to steal their owner and leave them with the brunt of the work while he was gone.

"If that's the case, then mayhap we'll have to get a bakers dozen for your shoppe," I teased. "You can give the remainders out to guests as they come in to entice them to buy your wine." My eyes twinkled, and when he said he'd missed me, I pressed my head against the side of his as we walked, out of the shoppe already and meandering down the street towards the vendor. "I've missed you too," I said, a touch more sober. I felt so.. free suddenly, my decision making life more gratifying, more exciting again.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I chuckled, almost giggled, in a manly sort of way, of course. She always brought out this side of me that was... carefree, almost childlike in a way, and I was happy to have it back again. I had spent far too many nights in the drink thinking of her, wondering what had happened, worrying about her well being, whether this was something that was her choice, this getting back with this... this.. cad. I knew nothing, but for a moment, I did not care, I was just happy she was here, on my arm, laughing and joking like we were old friends, dating back to cloth nappies and playing tag.

"We may just have to do that, leaving them during rush hour and all, I just hope they don't spike my favourite wine," which I realised was still in my hand. I chuckled, shaking my head as I held it up. "Name sound familiar?" I asked, almost doubling over with laughter. I had been so excited to see her I had completely forgotten I held it in my hand, and actually left the store with it. I was surprised I had not dropped it, having so completely forgotten it, but holding a bottle of wine came as naturally to me as a poet holding a quill.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

I laughed at the thought of them spiking his wine in retaliation, and I straightened as we walked, ambling along easily beside him. The day was beautiful and warm, and I felt like I was fair beaming as we strolled along.

When he held the bottle out for my inspection, I gasped, my smile melting away into surprise. Reaching out, I touched the name on the label, and looked to him with a new smile, growing slowly across my lips. "Bella," I repeated, laughing softly. "What a remarkable coincidence, monsieur," I teased as we moved. "That just happens to be the name one of my dearest friends calls me."

[Baltasar de Cordova]

"You don't say?" I laughed, "I myself had it produced to be named after one of my own dear friends, imagine that! Truly, it is a small small world," I chuckled, holding the bottle back at my side. "I think it would go rather well with sticky buns.. I don't think I will be chastised too much for taking it without paying."

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

I grinned, his playful nature and mine combined to make something spectacular and invigorating. Arm-in-arm, we walked like school-house friends, giggling over the name on a bottle of wine on our way to purchase a few stickybuns.

"Well, since you're running the risk of your masters ire and have swiped a bottle of wine to share, let me pay for the stickybuns," I begged, giving him a mock pout before it melted away into another grin.

"I cannot believe you've named one of your wines that Balta..." My hand gave his arm a squeeze. "You're the only one who calls me that, you know," I added, my smile softening on my mouth as we neared the vendor.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I grinned, shaking my head at our nonsense, sending my loose curls flying.

"I know," I replied, "and that's what makes it that much better," I said with a more tame smile, but just as earnest. I did not want things to get somber again, like that first instance, or odd between us, and so i replied to her comment about paying. "Are you quite certain? I have a sweet tooth for sticky buns, I might eat you out of house and home."

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

Truth be, I couldn't have stopped the blush that crossed my cheeks, and Elua knew I wanted to. I wanted to keep things light and simple between us, and I knew we were still doing that, but the blush came irregardless. He'd been so much more to me than I had been to him... and to what avail? I held his arm a little more securely.

"It's a good thing I can resort to family if you eat me out of my home, then," I responded, teasing him and grinning. We neared the vendor, and I glanced at Balta with a questioning look; how many would he like?

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I laughed, though her blush did not go unnoticed, no, not at all, in fact it warmed my heart, that spot that still held her there in ways that I knew I could not have her, would never get to have her again. It was bittersweet, for certain, but I did not let that emotion pass over my countenance. I was too happy to be in her company again to let that part of me come out right now.

I could smell the scent of sticky buns, the sweet sugary smell of them, grow stronger and stronger as we grew closer adn clsoer, and then stood before teh vendor, who smiled at us a wide gin. Bella looked to me, and I chuckled.

"What will ye two lovebirds be having t'day?" she asked, an ooer lady a little small and a little plump. She was endearing but my eyes widened when she spoke, and I found myself laughing, running a hand through my locks.

"Ah, just friends, m'lady, just friends," I corrected quickly, "and I believe we are interested in your stickybuns." She smiled, waiting for us to order. I turned my attention to Bella.

"Well, I will take just one, m'lady, but I think I ought to bring one back for the two I left running the shoppe, it may be a good idea, to make peace and all," I teased, eyes glinting. Ah, if only the woman's word were true.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

I had to smile when the lady labeled us as, 'lovebirds,' and near giggled with Balta fair jumped to correct her that we weren't, but were just friends. I didn't let go of his arm as he spoke to her, not even enough to put distance between us; surely we did look like lovers, but it was for none to know the difference but us.

"One for me as well," I smiled to the lady, and as she began wrapping them up I finally let go of Balta to open my coin purse. "Are you sure we shouldn't get one for your boss as well?" I asked, glancing at Balta with a tease in my eye. "After all, I wouldn't want him getting cross with you.. mayhap I could have a word with him."

My grin grew a little, and as the woman finished with her work and handed us a package with them, I in turn gave her a few coins to cover the cost, and took the package up myself.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I chuckled as the deal was finished and the stickybuns were wrapped and handed to Bella, the lady smiling at us, shaking her head, mutterin gsomehting that included the words "adorable" and "youngins" which made me laugh even harder.

"Oh yes, perhaps that would be best, speak with him, then he might just get jealous and punish me more for keeping coompany with such a lovely woman! You might find him asking you to join him for dinner at his expense, my boss can be forward that way, you know," I added, laughing again.

"Thank you, for the sticky bun, though. Perhaps," I said, looking o the bottle of wine then back to her, "perhaps we should head back to teh shoppe, and I can grab a couple of glasses and we can enjoy them with the wine, or we could borrow a corkscrew and find a tree to sit under and drink from the bottle," I laughed, wrinkling my nose when I realised how odd that would look.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

"Asking me to dinner?" I repeated with a laugh, feeling so.. light and carefree. So much pressure upon me for so long that now that it was gone, I felt as if the entire world near sparkled. I paid for the buns and gave her a bit extra for her words alone, flashing her a dazzling smile before I took the bag up and slipped my arm back into Baltas again, not truly thinking about what I was doing, only knowing I didn't want to be further than him than necessary.

"I'm up for anything you'd like to do," I said, smiling at him with warmth and joy. "I have a bit of news to tell you when we're settled.. would you like to stay away from your shoppe a bit longer, or would you like to return to it? I'm happy whichever way.. though it might be easiest to eat and drink in the shoppe," I added, a grin on my face.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

My brows furrowed a moment at her mention of news, though the smile still remained on my lips.

"Dinner and whatever your heart desires, my lady," I said wtih a courtly bow, though the smile on my lips was playful, and though my mind began to race.

"Mysterious woman! Now that you've mentioned a secret I will be thinking of it until we settle, you cannot throw that tidbit of information out there so freely only to snatch it back! Oh how cruel life is!" I exclaimed as we walked away from teh vendor, arm in arm, my smile widening with each word that passed from my lips ubntil I was laughing heartily. I wondered if she did not know that I knew she and ... him... were back together, for I had certainly caught wind of it... on more than one occassion. And then my eyes widened as I looke dforward, wondering if she were pregnant... but no, she would not be willing to drink wine and indulge me so if she were... ah the possibilities racked my brain. I turned to Bella, grinning still.

"I am not overly enticed by the prospect of returning to work, simply because it only means this little outting feels like it would be coming closer and closer to a close," I said with a soft downturn of my mouth before I smiled again. "We could always eat and talk at a bench then head back to the shoppe for some wine to wash it down with," I teased.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

It was silly, how much I liked the feel of the fabric of his shirt against my arm, how I enjoyed knowing his strong arm lay beneath it. Every now and then I caught a whiff of his cologne when the breeze shifted just right, and I had to resist the temptation to nuzzle into his neck so I could breathe it in deeper.

Honestly, I wasn't sure if I'd ever felt so free in my life, like I could do what I wanted for the first time, that duty wasn't holding me down. Duty was always there, something that was born into me with the scent of apples, but right now I didn't care. I didn't care what my father said, I didn't care what Gratien said, and I didn't have to worry about my husband, if I was doing right by him. I had no husband, as Del didn't have a wife, and we were both free to be who we wanted to be. Both free to be who we were. The longer I walked with Balta, the more I knew this is where I wanted to be, and it shamed me to my toes to know that I'd strung him out as I had. I'd never meant to... I'd only tried to do my duty.

"I could tell you now, if you'd like," I offered, my smile bright and dazzling as we strolled along, arm-in-arm. I didn't care if anyone recognized me and wondered why I was ambling with the owner of a wine shoppe; to me, no one else existed right now but Balta. Did he feel the same for me anymore, or had I pushed him away too far? I couldn't help but wonder.

"There's a bench over there that's free," I offered, gesturing lightly, my smile softening my lips a little more. I didn't care where we were; I just wanted to sit with him, and talk to him, and try to figure out how things were.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

It was as though nothing had changed, as though we had parted for a little time, and gotten back right to where we had left off. the only thing that marked it was the memory of it happening, otherwise there would be nothing else to show for it - there were no awkward silences or feelings harboured towards one another, our conversation flowed as easily as a river in spring. And though I had been sad during that time, the happiness I felt with her here, now, on my arm, no sign of shame in her visage or her body language, made that sadness seem as nothing in comparison. i smiled more brightly at it, my teeth flashing in the sunlight as I cast my gaze on Bella as she spoke, spying the bench. I felt... almost like a giddy child, and I chuckled before responding, lettig my eyes take in her face, her gentle smile, a true and warm one, her sunnied locks, shining brightly, and her eyes, mirthful, lighthearted as her words.

"Oh yes, the bench then, I could burst just waiting around to find out," I teased as we walked towards it, papered sticky-buns in hand.

"Is it good news? Or is... is it bad news?" I asked, my smile faltering a moment, though I tried to push any sad thoughts aside. I hoped and prayed that it was good news, not for my own sake, but for Bella's. She truly did not need any more complications or sadness in her life, or at least that was what I thought.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

He seemed so happy and relaxed, and I couldn't help but wonder why. Balta always had been happy though, save for the few times I'd made his face fall, and those times were burned into me with a painful memory. No, maybe this just was Balta and there wasn't anything special that was making him smile.. Balta was sunshine and spring rains - he made things grow and straighten in joy just by looking upon it, and knowing he cared.

"Good news," I clarified, smiling at him as we made our way to the bench. I sat lightly, smoothing my skirts, suddenly nervous at telling him everything. I waited til he'd sat as well before opening my mouth to speak, but instead I found a loss of voice, and instead busied myself with opening the bag, taking out a bun and offering it to him.

"Del and I are no longer," I said suddenly, my eyes not on him but on the bun. "We're still friends, but w're not together anylonger.. Oh Elua this must sound such a mess to you, and to everyone else, but it's clear as glass to me."

I risked peeking up at him then, and gave him a hopeful smile. "I spoke to him about us both being free to be whom we were, no worrying about the others reactions any longer, and it ended with us agreeing to be friends. Nothing more... and bless the gods Balta, I feel so... free. It's amazing," I added, my voice slightly breathy, but I still was worried at what he'd think, how he'd react. Wishy-washy Azabel, never able to make up her mind in love or duty? Or would he understand? I watched him, my head tilted down slightly, my eyes peering from under a veil of lashes.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

We took our seats, Bella smoothed her skirts, and I always smiled when she did. I knew that at times she felt free around me, I could tell from her demeanor, but then those little things of her upbringing still showed through, as a part of her, and a part I always found endearing.

As we sat, she busied herself with getting otu teh sticky buns, giving me mine, which I took with a nod and a smile, waiting for her to go on and explain the good news, the mention of which of course only made me smile more brightly.

I was nigh about to bite into my sticky bun, when she spoke. Her voice was soft, almost... fearful as she spoke, though I could sense her spirit brighten,. She was not sad for the news, sad that she was no longer with Del, an dshe did not seem burdoned, even as she looked up at me through her lashes, her head bent some. I furrowed my brows a moment, wondering why she felt.. or looked so self-conscious, and stayed silent, my mouth still open with the sticky bun raised to my lips. I lowered my hand, remembering to shut my mouth, and swallowed hard, letting the information soak into me, letting her words come together and make sense in my mind.

She and Del.. no longer... still friends... freedom... I felt my head swirl with the spinning of the world for a moment, and took a deep breath to steady myself. I had never been left both speechless and breathless by a woman, but of course it would be Bella to do both at the same time.

I opened my mouth, but did not speak, my eyes and face showing a myriad of emotions I could not hide... confusion, then understanding, then confusion again, and then happiness, then trying to reign in the happiness because well I did not know how to feel, to feel happy that it was over or to feel sad for her that she was presumably back to square one, but the smile upon her lips, and the way she spoke with such ease about feeling free made me smile. This was something ot be happy for. Regardless of what happened between her and Del in teh future, or her and I.. in the future.. which was an odd but warming thought and one that made me smile even more brightly... aside from all that, she was happy. Truly happy, no fear in her, no sadness. She had let go and it was doing her spirit good.

IO reached out my hand, the one free of the sticky bun, and held her free hand, squeezing it gently.

"You are happy, well and truly happy Bella?" I asked her.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

Had I not been nervous of his reaction, I might have found the myriad of emotions that crossed his face amusing. I didn't think he knew how to react, and I couldn't blame him, but I could hope for was the end result was positive, and when he reached to take my hand up, a smile warmed my face even more. "I'm thrilled," I said, lifting my chin a little to look upon him more fully.

Elua, but he was handsome. His face was strong, but cultivated, showing the deep skintones of his mother, the refined and familiar beauty that undoubtedly came from his d'Angeline blood, but too was a self confidence that was born of knowing who he was, of the love he received through his life. He had his own self doubts I knew, many stemming from his knowledge that he wasn't his fathers son, but I hoped one day I could help him with that, could be the rock for him that he'd always been for me. My fingers shifted, and I twined mine with his, holding it tenderly.

"I know I've said it many times before, but I'm sorry Balta, for everything... I tried to do my duty, and Elua knew I loved Del, but we are like two pieces trying to fit together from two separate puzzles. I think we always knew it, but fought it... and I'm tired of fighting. I think he is, too. We're friends still, and I hope to remain so always, but we're free."

Our hands twined together, I lifted it, and bent my head to kiss his knuckles, then turned my wrist so I could lay my cheek against the back of his hand. I looked up at him, unsure still, but hoping he knew how I felt, how I was happy to be here with him, how I hoped he could forgive me someday, and how I wanted our close contact. I craved it, like a drug.

[Baltasar de Cordova]

Once the first words had tumbled form her lips, my smile became warm, bright, excited for her, and I listened to her words, nodding and understanding but bursting on teh inside with joy, that no doubt showed on my face. joy that she was happy and, though I could not help it for the life of me, joy that... well perhaps this meant so many things for us, for our friendship, for the way I felt about her, after having known her for such a little time my feelings ahd grown so fast and so much.

"I am truly happy for you," and then she twined her fingers in mine, and I squeezed her hadn gently before she raised them both and kissed my knuckles, then stroked her cheek along the back of my hand. A shiver coursed through me, having been away from her so long, memories of not just our friendship, but that little bit more we had shared of each other with each other, those feelings pouring back, easily enough as though they had never left. I leaned in, leaning against her, loathe to take my hand away from her cheek, and kissed her forehead with a soft kiss, hoping that it would be welcomed, hoping that this step was not a misstep and I had read and heard everything wrong.

"I am so happy for you, that you have figured this out, figured this part of yrouself out, and are happy, though," and I could not help th eords that came from my lips, "though I knew it. I knew, though I was sad adn feared you would never speak to me again, I knew... you do not belong with him, Bella, you deserve to be happy, and..." and you belong with me was what I wanted to say, but I faltered a moment, pulling back just slightly though I did not pull my hand away from her face, no, I would not. "...and you deserve to make your own choices. Whether they lead you to duty, or to ... to love... or to both, you deserve to make those choices unhindered. And now, now you can," I said. There was no saying whether I would be her future, though I felt it in every fibre of my being, wanted it so badly, I would wait, and let her live her life, I would not put constraints on her, restrain her, and I would ever be teh friend she needed, but by teh Gods, I could not help that I wanted more, moreso now than ever, now that I could, without worrying about her feeling guilty, or worrying that she woul dhave to go home to a man who did not deserve her, at least in my mind. Oh Elua, and all the Gods taht be! I chuckled, elated and kissed her forehead again.

[Princess Azabel de Somerville]

Sweet gods, he was happy. It fair shone from him, from his beautiful eyes and handsome face, from his body language and the tone of his voice. It all showed so much more than his words could ever say, and I felt the smile on my own mouth growing as I realized it, the fears dissipating into the wind.

And then he leaned towards me and didn't pull his hand away, but kissed my forehead in a tender touch. My eyes swept shut by instinct, and a warmth suffused through me, seeping from the point where his lips had touched me and making every last butterfly in my stomach kick up.

My eyes opened again as he spoke, and I nodded, my cheek still against the back of his hand, as he began, but the more he talked the more affectionate my smile became. He spoke his own opinion of believing Del and I didn't belong together, and I couldn't hold it against him, not after all he'd seen of me during my dark days. He deserved his opinion, and I wouldn't hold it against him, but adore him all the more for not keeping it to himself and trusting me enough to tell me it.

"And now I can," I repeated softly, and he leaned in again to kiss my forehead. My smile grew more, if it were possible, and I turned my face to kiss the back of his hand not once, but thrice, my lips pressed warmly against his skin. "I'm so grateful you didn't abandon our friendship Balta," I said softly, picking my head up at last so I could look at him. We may have looked silly to others, tender touches and warm glances, but with sticky buns in both our hands. I didn't care, as much as I didn't care if we were recognized together. I was tired of caring. "I never want to worry about losing your friendship again, and I swear I'll never let things come again as they were before."

[Baltasar de Cordova]

I had to laugh at us, sitting here, perhaps that woman's remarks were not as far off as I had made them out to be, her lips tender against the back of my hand, once, twice, thrice, our smiles wide both of us so filled with happiness, and totally in understanding of one another. Where other women might have balked at my comment, she took it for what it was and was ahppy, which made me happy. All this perpetual happiness going around it was as though the only things missing from teh scene were some songbirds anda rainbow. The thought made me chuckle, shaking my head.

"We will not lose each other, our friendship willl always remain through the thickest and the thinnest, I promise you that," I said to herwith a silly boyish grin, the kind that was wide and bared as manyteeth as possible to the point that it could look rather ridiculous, and then I laughed again, unable to pass my hand through my locks, with a sticky bun in one hand, and her hand in the other, but I was content with it. I raised my sticky bun, but still did not let go of her hand, enjoying the simplicity in the contact, and just the contact itself. "To everlasting friendships," I said, though in my heart I wished for much more while I raised my sticky bun for her to join in the toast.