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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jun 28, 2011 22:46:11 GMT -5
I gave her hand a light pat, "Thank you. I wasn't very close to my dad. From the moment I turned 10, he sent me to Camael to endure rigorous training, and when I would come home he would yell at me to train more. It turned into a never ending cycle of one training after another. I spent more of my life training then spending time with him. He's definitely not the kind of father that I want to be some day, but I still loved him."
"He did raise me with very good morals and outstanding tutors, and I certainly can't fault him for that. In the end, Camael blessed me for my abilities, and I get the chance to use those skills to protect my country. My life is not so unfortunate..." I spoke reflectively.
I turned to Naia, "It looks as if your life is not so unfortunate either." I gave her a thin smile.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jun 29, 2011 15:38:32 GMT -5
I thought about that for a moment. At one time I would have argued with him, citing my father's abuse and my sister's abandonment, but since having Jace, everything had changed, and I no longer cared about those things.
"You're right," I said with a smile, one that was true and not forced in the least. "Not as unfortunate as I used to think." I appreciated the new outlook and my step was lighter for it.
"I suppose it's easy enough to cast blame at our parents feet, but in the long run, once we become adults, we have the choice to take our own path." Even as I was saying it, I was learning it, believing it for the first time. I didn't have to walk in my father's shadow, nor sow the seeds of anger and mistrust that he had planted in me. I resolved then that I would do whatever it took to make peace with my sister.
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jun 29, 2011 23:19:22 GMT -5
I smiled when she mentioned that I was right and I listened to her own self reflection. It seemed like something that I had said had really resonated with her. I nodded in agreement when she spoke of choosing our own path as adults.
I thought about what she said. I had been running from my past in a lot of ways. Running from any chance at a sexual experience. Could I really make my own path..? Move past the horrors of my childhood and become my own man? I had denied it to myself, but I knew that there was apart of me that wanted to fall in love...that wanted a wife that I would love genuinely.
I looked straight ahead as my thoughts overwhelmed me for a moment. I looked back down at Naia, reminding myself to say something, and I found myself struck by her beauty for a moment. I spoke softly, "And now that path will take you toward being a good parent." I looked straight ahead again, at a loss of what to say for the moment.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jun 30, 2011 21:50:05 GMT -5
"I hope so," I said fervently. I wanted nothing more than for Jace to have a childhood filled with love and laughter, and not the misery that I had endured. I looked sideways at Renard and smiled.
"Look at us, so serious on such a lovely day." Laughing, I tossed my hair aside. "We should be talking about ... oh, I don't know, what do people talk about on sunny days?" I spent most of my time bemoaning my fate - without that, who was I?
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 1, 2011 1:54:38 GMT -5
I smiled at her laughter, silently watching her. Her eyes lit up and brightened, showing the contrast against her dark hair. I had never seen anyone so lovely before. It was truly unfortunate that she was a mother and still connected to the child's father, as she had implied earlier. It was likely that they would be getting married some day soon. I hoped that her relationship with him was going well, even if a part of me wished to have her to myself. And yet...there was still so little that I knew of her. She seemed to have a kind nature, but I had always been weary of women, especially those I didn't know well.
I spoke up, "I suppose people speak of politics, rumors of nobles, and upcoming events. I am looking to establish myself in court. Although my steps toward that end have been...quite slow."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 1, 2011 20:37:41 GMT -5
"Politics I am terrible at, rumors as well..." I laughed and shook my head. I was always so concerned with all the things going wrong in my life that I barely knew what was happening in the outside world at times. "And court, well, I suppose I have been quite slow at that as well." I had never really tried, truly, until now, because I wanted to make sure that Jace had the right connections.
"I suppose the best way to do that is to make sure to get invitations to the right sort of events, one way or another. Although, if it comes to war, social engagements may be fewer and further between."
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 1, 2011 21:17:26 GMT -5
I laughed softly along with her as she spoke of politics and rumors. It wasn't really my forte' either. I would much rather be practicing my skills or meeting someone new.
I nodded when she mentioned that she wasn't very well known at court. Yet another beautiful woman who can't help me to get my foot into court. I wasn't sure if she would even be able to introduce me to others.
I bit my bottom lip as I listened to her, "That makes a lot of sense. A lot of people are more focused on the upcoming war and how it will effect Terre D'Ange. What do you think about the war? Do you believe that L'Agnace is safe? Is there somewhere you could go if the war pushed past Camlach?"
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 3, 2011 10:59:53 GMT -5
The idea that L'agnace might not be safe was frankly terrifying, but I could hardly imagine the Skaldi getting past the vast force of troops that I imagined we possessed.
"I think we're safe here, Camlach is leagues away and that's where the fighting is most likely to be. If the fighting did get out of Camlach, I'm not sure where I would go... out of the country for a bit perhaps?" I could not possibly stay here with Jace if there was a possibility of fighting coming this way. I was starting to wonder if I should leave the country for awhile anyway. I had always wanted to see Kriti or Hellas, and I loved the idea of whiling away my days on a mediterranean beach somewhere.
"I suppose if it comes to war, you will be off fighting?" I asked him, thinking about all of the men I knew, realizing that most of them would go. It was odd to think of, and I tried to dismiss the idea of war entirely, because I did not like the way worry made me feel.
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 3, 2011 12:35:10 GMT -5
I listened quietly to her perspective on things, "I think it's unlikely that the war will get into Camlach, and even less chance of it getting into L'Agnace. However...it's always good to prepare, especially when one has a young one..."
I nodded, "Yes, I'll be fighting in the archery unit, hopefully. Archery is my best strength. I have very good martial arts skills, and fencing, but archery has always been my strength."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 4, 2011 22:30:44 GMT -5
I laughed in remembrance of my failed attempt at archery.
"Oh, I don't know how anyone is good at that, it's so difficult! I tried a few times but my arrows never go the way I want them too. I am definitely not cut out for war, but I admire anyone that has been able to develop those skills."
We continued to walk on, now in the residential section of the City, a borough away from my home in the West. "For my son, though, I would fight with teeth and nails, but I hope it never comes to that."
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 5, 2011 0:47:01 GMT -5
I smiled at her laughter, enjoying the smooth sound of it.
I shrugged my shoulders as if making no big deal of the activity, "If you like I could teach you....or we could work on knife throwing. It might be helpful for you if you find yourself in the position where you have to defend yourself..." I wasn't sure if she would open to the idea or not, so I left it open ended.
I nodded at her statement, "I'm sure you would do anything you could to protect your son." It was then that I wanted to see her baby. We had spoken of him a few times, and a part of me wanted to put the face with the name. But that didn't make sense. I didn't need to see the baby...someone else's baby, brought into this world by her lover...or fiancée'... It would only make things far more complicated than they were already.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2011 22:34:15 GMT -5
"That would be nice," I said, surprised at the offer, but grateful for it. How would I protect Jace if I could not do anything? "I warn you though, my aim is terrible, I would not wish you to lose an eye." I grinned, teasing, although sadly there was an undercurrent of truth to it. In the past I would have berated myself for being so bad at such things, but I had learned that no one was good at everything and I did have my strengths.
"Are you afraid, of the war, I mean?" I asked, hoping I wasn't prying. The men I knew seemed to harbor no care for their own safety, but I imagined that I would be terrified to face men on the battlefield. Was that a failing, or was their courage feigned? Or perhaps not their courage, because if they were afraid, and still fought, that was true courage. What bravery lay in doing something that did not frighten you?
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 15, 2011 13:32:59 GMT -5
"Perhaps we could get together some time after the war." I smiled when she mentioned that she had a terrible aim. I was up for the challenge of teaching her. "I shall keep some pirate eye patches on hand.." I gave a teasing grin back.
I considered her question for a moment, "Afraid...? I think fear can be important in a battle. I have some fear, but not so much that it overwhelms me. I think I would be more serious about it were I to have a wife and child at home. Only my sister would mourn my death, and I feel confident that she could lead well in my place. Fighting has been a way of life for me since I was 10, so in many ways I look forward to the experience and the challenge. It's a obligation that I feel I must take in regards to the skills and abilities that Camael has blessed me with."
I looked towards her, "Are you afraid for the men in battle?"
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 15, 2011 22:37:50 GMT -5
"That would be most welcome," I said, suddenly wishing very much to learn to defend myself - and my son, if it ever came to that. I laughed at his jest, feeling lighthearted again, a feeling that was as new as Jace himself was, but it was something that I was getting used to.
His question caught me off guard, but I knew there was one man I would fear for.
"Some," I admitted, praying that Kendrick would not do anything foolish. There was Gadleon too, and I knew as sure as I breathed that he would go. I felt a pang for my sister and I determined to do what I could for her if that should happen. It was the very least I could do, after everything. "I am not close to many people, but there are a few who may go off to fight that I would fear for."
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 17, 2011 0:17:51 GMT -5
I enjoyed the sound of her laughter, the way her eyes twinkled and her head fell back just ever so slightly. I found myself fantasizing about kissing her, wondering what it would feel like to have her soft curves up against me. I swallowed as I felt my body reacting to the images in my head.
This is someone else's mother, Renard! As well as someone's wife or fiance'. You have no right to allow such thoughts. Loyalty must prevail...always, I thought out loud to myself and I managed to find a semblance of control.
I listened as I heard the fear that she had for the men who were out in war. The change of topic removed the tightness in my breaches, and I was thankful for it. "I do not usually think of what my family or friends are thinking as I go off to war. I am far too focused on the battle at hand. I imagine it must be difficult waiting without doing something constructive for soldiers at times of war."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 19, 2011 20:51:42 GMT -5
I wondered what it would be like, without Kendrick's presence, because despite that we were not in a relationship, knowing he was there if Jace or I needed anything gave me a feeling of security I had never had before. The idea of giving that up was terrifying.
"I suppose there must be something we can do, those of us who are left behind..." I wondered what that something might be, but I felt a nagging in the pit of my stomach that told me there had to a way to do my part. "And if there isn't, I shall think of something!" I exclaimed, smiling again, convinced that I could come up with something.
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 22, 2011 15:41:20 GMT -5
I gave her a small grin when she spoke of finding something to do in support of the troops with such conviction, "I am sure with an attitude such as that- you will surely succeed."
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 22, 2011 20:20:01 GMT -5
I was just starting to think of things I might do, admittedly few coming to mind, when I noticed that we were on my street already. I pointed at my house as we neared it, pleased once more at how lovely it was, and how much status there was in a West Borough house, just what Jace deserved. If Kendrick had done anything to put himself firmly in my good graces, it was to get me this house.
"Here it is," I said, stopping at the gate and smiling. "Thank you so much for escorting me home, Renard, and perhaps someday soon I can take you up on that offer of lessons."
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 24, 2011 1:35:02 GMT -5
When we came to a house, I stopped and looked up at the structure. The idea of spending another afternoon with her, sent my heart racing a bit, and I wasn't sure if I could continue just a simple friendship with her.
I gave a deep bow, "I would welcome the opportunity. However, if you were to have your lover give such lessons instead, I would not be offended."
"It has been a pleasure and a privilege," I stood in a straight posture, standing by the gate as a gentleman to wait patiently for her to make her way towards her door.
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Post by Naia Shahrizai on Jul 24, 2011 16:30:29 GMT -5
"My lov- oh, you mean Kendrick," I sputtered, realizing how it must seem to someone who did not know us both. "He's not exactly my lover, well, I mean, sometimes, but it's not... well, it's complicated," I finished lamely, my cheeks heating at the explanation. Gods, but this was embarassing, and I had never before thought about how to explain the relationship between Kendrick and I. I'd never had to, really.
"Er, well, at any rate, we should get together soon for our lesson," I said, impulsively giving him a little hug before nearly running up the walk to the front door. I paused when I got there and waved, then disappeared inside, thoroughly confused and wondering just what Kendrick I did have, if anything.
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Post by Renard de Valliers on Jul 24, 2011 18:34:02 GMT -5
My brow furrowed when she mentioned that he wasn't exactly her lover. It sounded like it was a complicated situation, but that didn't make her any less available than I had considered her earlier. She was still a mother with responsibilities after all. I watched her cheeks color, and I wondered if she was embarrassed by her relationship with Kendrick somehow.
My hand came up to touch her shoulder lightly when she hugged me, I could smell her feminine scent from her hair filling my nose and my mind with delicious images. I waved back when she arrived at the front door, and I watched her figure disappear. I turned back towards the way I came and began walking down the street. I wanted to see her again, but it might be better if I didn't see her again. I let out a low breath of air.
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