Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 26, 2009 23:44:40 GMT -5
I sighed softly as he spoke, leaning into his touch. It wasn't really enough, not to me, but I couldn't tell Guy that. He'd never felt the touch of another person, the pleasure of release, the way it made you feel like flying. He didn't know what he was missing. I didn't know if there was something like that in the Cassiline order, but I doubted it. I resolved to do more research, if only to learn more about Guy and who he was.
His description of our kiss made me smile, and I wiped my eyes. "I don't think anything could make our love anything less," I said, and meant it. "I would never ask you to break your vows for me, Guy...the only thing I could ever want from you is trust." I blushed, because it wasn't the only thing I wanted, but it was all I could ever ask for.
His last statement made me tear up again, but I decided I couldn't cry any more. I felt like I was hurting him even by being here. He could probably handle the pain of not being with me a lot easier if he didn't see my own difficulties. And yet my heart swelled with love at his desire to be there for me. I hadn't really had anyone like that before.
I shifted from foot to foot, because I was going to ask him something selfish. "Will you still come with Rochelle to Night's Doorstep? I mean, I don't want to tempt you, but..." I trailed off, my heart thudding painfully in my chest.
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 26, 2009 23:59:00 GMT -5
"Of course I will." I said tenderly, watching the emotions play across her face. She was afraid that I might say no, that I might find it too hard to be near her, but honestly, I had found that it was too hard not to be.
"Rochelle and I both enjoy our time there." For different reasons, perhaps, but nonetheless it was true. "I know that we are strong enough to be around each other, Sandrine, and even if all we can be is friends, to me that is better than naught."
I worried that she might not feel the same, and perhaps I was being selfish by wanting to spend time with her still; it would probably be easier for her if she did not have to see me. Still, I could not bring myself to suggest that we stay apart again, considering how badly it had hurt when I tried.
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 27, 2009 1:25:41 GMT -5
I sighed happily. "We both have to be strong," I said. "Though it will be hard." I smiled shyly. "You're very handsome. Luckily I'm already engaged to Corin. He'll be sure to supervise if asked."
I had a sudden idea, and I bit my lip, wondering if I should say it, if he would think it childish. If he did, maybe I could just laugh it off. "You know, maybe we should have a sign or something," I said. "So we can say that we love each other, and no one will know but you and me..." I grinned. "Is there some kind of signal you know that we can use? If you think it's silly...you can say so, I won't mind..." I was blushing, I knew, but maybe he wold think it was a good idea.
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 27, 2009 11:15:40 GMT -5
I chuckled softly when she mentioned Corin, who did indeed seem to have eyes for Sandrine. "I'm sure he will, the lad already looks at me quite suspiciously."
Her next words brought a smile to my face. What a great idea! She seemed to be a bit unsure of herself as she proposed it, however.
"I don't think it's silly at all. In fact, it's rather brilliant." Grinning, I reached up and tugged my left earlobe. "How about that? Whenever one of us does this, we know it's a sign to the other?"
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 27, 2009 13:59:03 GMT -5
I nodded once and smiled. "I...well, this might sound stupid, Guy, but I...really look up to you, for a lot of reasons. I would never want to appear silly or childish in your eyes. I'm glad you like the idea."
I tugged my left earlobe in response. "I wish we didn't have to keep it secret, but I figured just in case you have a burning urge to say it..." I blushed a bit and looked down. "That way we can keep Corin on his toes."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 27, 2009 18:32:01 GMT -5
I couldn't imagine Sandrine seeming childish, I was surprised even to hear her say she was worried about it. I smiled and tugged my earlobe, grinning at her. "I could never think you silly or childish, Sandi."
It was the first time I'd used the diminutive form of her name, but it sounded right and I found that I liked saying it. "I wish we didn't have to be so secretive either, but as your Valerian friend so graciously pointed out, people will get the wrong idea about our love."
I shook my head and sighed. "Why is it so hard to believe that two people can love each other without assuming the worst?"
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 28, 2009 1:44:30 GMT -5
His use of my nickname made me smile. "No one calls me that but Corin," I laughed, blushing a bit more. "Though I have to admit, I like how it sounds when you say it." I shook my head as I looked up at him. "I always blush so much when I'm around you. Now I know how your sister feels, she's always turning red."
My hands clenched into tight fists when he mentioned the Valerian, but the rest of the sentence made me laugh. "Is there a right idea about our love, Guy?" I asked, wanting very badly to hold his hand. "What are the best assumptions about us, let alone the worst?" I sighed. "If it were just me, I would try not to care. I'm a Servant of Naamah, there isn't much I can't get away with." I looked up at him, and finally I decided to take his hand anyway. "But if you got caught..." I tilted my head. "What actually happens? I've read a bit about it in books about Cassilines, but they are rather secretive about that part," I said, squeezing his hand gently. I hoped it didn't bother him. I would like to think that if I did something unseemly he would let me know.
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 28, 2009 2:21:55 GMT -5
I sighed, running a hand through my hair, while trying not to notice how good it felt for Sandrine to hold my hand.
"It's complicated... the prefect would try to give me a chance to atone, depending on the 'crime,' and if that was unsuccessful, or I was unwilling, I would be declared anathema, shunned from the Order." I felt a lump in my throat at even saying the words. "I don't know how close you feel to your House, but imagine if they shut you out, never to return or speak to you again." I shuddered. "It is quite difficult to bear, as the monks are like family to us. I have been at the monastery since I was ten years old, the Brotherhood is part of who I am. Losing that would be like losing the biggest, best part of me."
I squeezed her hand gently, smiling softly at her. "It is hard, finding this love for you that I never thought I'd feel. How do I reconcile the teachings of the Order with Elua's precept?" I sighed deeply. "I am not given to the philosophical, usually."
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 28, 2009 2:44:26 GMT -5
I swallowed hard as I listened, squeezing his hand gently before letting go. I felt scared now, scared of the power that I held over Guy. If I did things to tempt him, there could always be a day where he could give in. And that would ruin him, I knew it. It would crush him completely. I couldn't be a party to that. No matter how much he loved me, I could never replace the Brotherhood in his heart. That hurt quite a bit to think about, and it was difficult to understand, but it gave me quite the incentive to keep my hands to myself. I had to at least try for Guy.
"I would die," I said, quietly. "To never speak to my House again would kill me."
I chuckled softly at his next statement. "Neither am I. But it seems like we can still love each other without consummating our love. There are other ways..." I snapped my fingers. "Maybe we can do some research, see if anything like this has ever happened before. I tried to look on my own but I didn't find much. Maybe there's a way..."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 28, 2009 13:22:18 GMT -5
There were other cases, we learned of them as cautionary tales, but none of them had ever ended well. Tragic tales filled with excommunication, suicide, and other sordid details that I wasn't about to share with Sandrine. None of the tales ever mentioned love, however, and suddenly I could understand how a man could throw away his vows ... though it never seemed to lead to happiness.
"Perhaps," was all I said, smiling at her, at the hope in her eyes. I would not be the one to dash her hopes, at least not yet. "I suppose I can ask around." In reality I was hoping that she would forget the idea, and to that end, I changed the subject.
"So, what were you about before you rescued that Valerian?"
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 28, 2009 15:56:39 GMT -5
"And how would you do that?" I asked, half joking. "Excuse me, prefect, but I have this, ah, friend in the Order who might be in love with someone?" I shook my head. "And you're the worst liar I've ever met. No, you better leave the asking around to me."
When he asked what I was about, I blushed. I had almost forgotten why I had left the House today. Sheepishly I held up the flogger. "It's for a prank. A friend of mine at Orchis was too shy to go and buy it herself. So she gave me the money, because I have no shame, and I bought it for her. I haven't even asked what the prank is about, I'm in trouble all the time anyway." I laughed. "We have a lot of fun in Orchis, even if sometimes we go a little too far."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 28, 2009 16:20:54 GMT -5
I made a face, laughing. "It's true, I'm a terrible liar. They don't teach dissembling at the Monastery."
I raised a brow when she she showed me the flogger, laughing as she explained. "Well, no wonder you're attracting Valerians, carrying that about!"
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
|
Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 28, 2009 16:56:26 GMT -5
"I like that, though," I said, truthfully. "There are so many false people in this world, so it's a wonderful surprise to meet someone who is wholly honest."
I swung the flogger around idly. "I wish I hadn't attracted him..." I sighed softly. "I thought you weren't going to believe me for a few moments. I thought you wouldn't ever want to speak me again." But I looked up at him and smiled. "I'm so glad I was wrong."
I stopped swinging the flogger and looked around. "Do...do you think it would be okay if you walked me home? Not that I want to leave, but if I don't get back soon I don't know what will happen with the prank."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 28, 2009 17:38:42 GMT -5
I smiled, shaking my head at the events of the afternoon. "I admit, I was terribly shocked when he first said those horrible things, but I just could not believe they were true. And I am glad to find out that I was correct."
I nodded when she asked if I would walk her home. "Of course, I would be delighted. At your service, my dear." I laughed, starting down the street. Walking her home reminded me of the day we'd met, what I was fast becoming to see as the day that my life had changed.
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 28, 2009 18:00:31 GMT -5
I was really glad he had listened to me. Sometimes people seemed to jump to conclusions far too quickly. It was good to find someone who wasn't so judgmental. Smiling ear to ear I reached over and linked my arm with his.
For not the first time I wished things were different. But, like we said before, as if we had to remind ourselves, the stakes were too high. There was too much for Guy to lose. I repressed the urge to sigh and instead swung the flogger again. "I do feel a bit silly walking around with this thing," I said, laughing a bit. "I almost wish I could use it on that Valerian." My eyes narrowed. "I think I'm going to have to find out a little bit more about him. Luckily I have a friend in Valerian..." My mind was already churning with the possibilities of how I could get some sort of revenge.
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 28, 2009 18:17:56 GMT -5
I furrowed my brow slightly, a bit worried. That Valerian had seemed overly hostile and possibly dangerous. "Promise me you'll be careful, Sandrine." I squeezed her arm as we walked, enjoying something as simple as strolling down the street with her.
Grinning, I glanced over at the flogger. "People will probably assume that you are a Mandrake, and that I've been quite the bad boy."
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 28, 2009 19:09:23 GMT -5
I grinned wickedly. "Oh, Guy, you don't have to worry about me. I'm always careful. He won't even know what hit him."
The idea of submission and dominance that Valerians and Mandrakes inspired in my head was already sort of confusing. On the one hand, I couldn't understand pleasure coming from being hurt. On the other hand, being around Gadleon had aroused me. And the idea of inspiring that same feeling in Guy made me want to go back to my room and take care of unfinished business. I wanted to ask Guy how that sounded, me "punishing" him, but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I would just have to imagine it later.
"I can't ever think of you being bad, Guy." I said, truthfully. "I still wish I could hide it. I don't ever want people to think of you like that."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 28, 2009 20:58:48 GMT -5
"Well, I hope so." I said, shaking my head with a grin. Her next words made my heart ache, she was so sweet.
"Oh, I don't know, I can be bad sometimes..." I teased. "You wouldn't want me to get out of hand." I looked around at the small amount of passersby on the street and shrugged. "It doesn't matter what people think, Sandrine, we know the truth." As painful as that truth is...
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 29, 2009 0:51:35 GMT -5
Oh, Gods, I did want him to get out of hand! Suddenly the walk to Mont Nuit seemed very very long.
"Well, I'm sure your idea of 'bad' and mine are very different," I said, teasing him back. "Unlike you, Cassiline, I am above reproach." I waved the flogger for emphasis. "Don't make me have to use this."
I sighed at his last statement. "I know, Guy, I just wish the truth was different."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 29, 2009 1:08:02 GMT -5
I chuckled, though I felt ... something ... at her words that sent a shudder down my spine.
"Oh, is that a threat, my dear?" I raised a brow and grinned at her, eying the flogger as if I were afraid. "And I'm sure you are above reproach, you innocent little thing you."
I sobered up a little as she sighed. "As do I, as do I." There was nothing else to say to that, and we continued to walk. The closer we got to Mont Nuit, the more I felt like a man going to his execution.
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 29, 2009 1:45:28 GMT -5
I felt him shudder and wondered at it. "It's not a threat, it's a promise," I said, waving the flogger and giving him my most menacing look. "You may think I am an innocent little thing, but I am actually quite the hellraiser. So don't get on my bad side, okay?"
I was torn. On the one hand, I didn't want leave Guy. Elua above, I never wanted to leave Guy. But the idea of using the flogger on him, even jokingly, or feeling him writhe under me as I rode him, was making me feel very naughty indeed. I couldn't wait to get back to my room and finish what he had unwittingly started. If I was lucky, I might have a patron waiting for me. Though I was sorry it wouldn't be Guy, I had to do something or I would explode.
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 29, 2009 21:12:48 GMT -5
I laughed, grabbing the flogger when she waved it at me and disarming her easily. "Now you had better behave yourself, as turnabout is fair play!" I tossed the flogger back to her quickly, feeling more than a tad awkward with it in my hands. I couldn't imagine ever striking her, either, even in loveplay.
And that thought was enough to make any man's resolve waver; I quickened my pace just a bit, hating to admit it, but knowing that there was only so much of Sandrine's presence I could take at once.
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 29, 2009 22:51:29 GMT -5
I marveled at how easily he moved, how simple it was for him to take the flogger from me., even as I laughed at him. He was magnificent.
Perhaps a little too magnificent, I thought, as he increased his speed for some reason. Even though I was holding his arm, it was hard to keep up with him. "Wait...slow down, Guy!" I panted. "Is something wrong?" I laughed. "Are you really scared of the flogger?"
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 29, 2009 23:09:28 GMT -5
I slowed my pace, embarrassed that Sandrine had noticed my discomfiture. "Me? Scared?" I scoffed, glancing at the flogger and then at her. "Well, not of the flogger, anyway." I ran a hand through my hair, and then shook my head, smiling slightly. "It's the image of you wielding it that is truly terrifying."
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 29, 2009 23:51:32 GMT -5
I blushed over what seemed like my whole body. Elua above, if he only knew the thoughts I had been suppressing about him. I swallowed hard and glanced up at him before looking down. "I...I never thought I could be so imposing, Guy," I stammered, willing my face to turn back to its normal color. "Hopefully you will never get to see me get really angry..." I smiled. "Though you did see me slap someone." I scrunched up my nose. "I have never done that before, but it was extremely satisfying in this case."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jun 30, 2009 0:16:59 GMT -5
I laughed, shaking my head. "That was a sight to see, all right. I can see now that I have underestimated your temper!" I continued walking at a more leisurely pace, relaxing again as my thoughts drifted away from the dangerous ones of earlier.
"I bet your Dowayne knows, and that's the real reason you get in trouble." I teased, poking her softly in the side.
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
|
Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jun 30, 2009 0:26:07 GMT -5
"It was actually pretty embarrassing," I said, looking down. "I don't want you to think badly of me, so I was ashamed of you seeing me that way."
"And I get in trouble because I go looking for it," I said, a smile returning to my face as I poked him back. "Usually I don't get caught. It depends on my accomplices." I smiled. "You, for example, are a terrible liar, and so I doubt I could ever use your help. Luckily it's one of the things I like most about you. So you're forgiven."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jul 1, 2009 23:28:40 GMT -5
"I could never think badly of you, Sandrine." I said seriously. "I know for you to do something like that you must have been sorely provoked."
As we continued to walk, I laughed at her next comment. "Well, it's true, lying is an art, and not one we are encouraged to practice at the monastery!" Looking over at her, I couldn't help but smile. "I'm glad I'm forgiven, though."
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Sandrine nó Orchis
Adept
Orchis House
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Posts: 776
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Post by Sandrine nó Orchis on Jul 2, 2009 3:12:31 GMT -5
I blushed at his comment. I was struck by how wonderful it felt to have someone love me no matter what I did. It made me feel a little nervous. What if Guy found out what I was plotting against that Valerian, even now? Or how I continually was at war with that damned shopkeeper? I wished I could keep some parts of my life secret from him, even though I didn't think that was possible. I might be able to hide some things, but when I looked into his blue eyes, it was hard to keep anything from him.
When I saw Guy's beautiful smile, I really wished I could kiss him, and not just on the cheek. Things would be so much more simple if he could love me freely. Instead I squeezed his arm with my own. I loved Guy very much, but I couldn't express my love the way I wanted to. So I would have to think of other ways.
"It's that smile," I said, matching his with my own. "I can't be mad at you forever." I tapped my lips with the safe end of the flogger. "Really, I don't think I could ever be mad at you."
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Post by Guy de Layne on Jul 3, 2009 13:56:22 GMT -5
I smiled even more deeply at her words, flushed with pleasure at her compliment. I certainly had never been the type to care what another thought, but Sandrine's regard meant the world to me.
"I shall endeavor to keep this smile on my face as much as possible, in that case." Watching her tap the flogger against her lips, I couldn't repress a shudder, a response to a feeling I couldn't even name. It was almost too much, even walking her home. Would we ever be able to enjoy each other's company without this tension that was so sweet yet so damnably awkward?
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