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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 11, 2009 23:48:36 GMT -5
My eyes widened first with the question, and then the response. I kept quite still as I waited for Soleil's response.
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jun 14, 2009 22:37:24 GMT -5
I took a deep, controlled breath, inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. Let's hope her love for Christophe is greater than her hate for me. "I will hold you to your word, Malabelle Shahrizai," I said evenly. "I cannot ask you to love our child, but I thank you for the assurance that you will be kind and good to him or her." So help me gods, if you harm this child in any way, I will see justice done, I swore inwardly.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2009 22:43:02 GMT -5
“I do give you my word that I will never harm the child,” I replied, my voice level. “But I also give you my word on this, if you ever use this child to hurt Christophe or as a means to try and take him from me, there will be no power in the world that will protect you from me Soleil Belfours. You are still my enemy, not the child. Do not make me protect the man I love and his child from you.”
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2009 23:00:38 GMT -5
And this was exactly why I had been dreading this meeting. Mala had thought that I didn't trust her, but in reality, it was like letting two hungry wolves into the same room and closing the door behind them. All I could do was wait, and try not to draw their attention. This was between them.
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jun 14, 2009 23:07:55 GMT -5
I gave a short, dry laugh, but my eyes were cold. "Fortunately," I said, "I love our child enough not to involve him or her in the conflicts of adults. I am not interested in taking Christophe from you, you have my word that I never will try." I twisted the seal of my office on my finger.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2009 23:11:20 GMT -5
“And I will hold you to that word,” I said, not believing her for an instant. I knew what was in her eyes when she looked at Christophe. I twined my fingers with Christophe’s and took a drink from my glass, ignoring her now.
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jun 14, 2009 23:34:00 GMT -5
Like a petulant child, she needed to have the last word, fine. What was she so afraid of? I hadn't threatened her once today. I decided to ignore her, turning my eyes to Christophe. "The babe will be born in one month," I said. "At that time, as promised, I will make a gift to you of two thousand ducats." I took a sip of my water. "I will have my courier deliver a message to you when the babe is born, that you may come meet your child." I almost wanted to invite him to the birth, but I knew it would infuriate Malabelle. she had already threatened me once and I needed to not be murdered before the birth.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2009 23:44:37 GMT -5
I nearly breathed a sigh of relief when they came to an impasse, but it wasn't over yet. I had hoped that Soleil would wish for me to be there during the birth itself, but it seemed it was not to be. "Of course," I replied, trading my disappointment for a soft smile. "I'll be there as quick as I can be."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 14, 2009 23:49:03 GMT -5
I'd planned to stay quiet until we could leave, but I could feel Christophe's disappointment and from what she'd said I could only assume it was over one thing. Gods how was it possible I loved him this much?
I looked at her again. "I would take it as a kindness if Christophe could be there when the child is born, if that's something you could do for him," I said, the edge gone from my voice completely. "I won't interfere, I promise."
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jun 14, 2009 23:54:54 GMT -5
I raised my eyebrows in surprise at her request. "That's very kind of you, Malabelle," I said, genuine gratitude in my voice. "Christophe, do you want to be present at the birth?"
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 15, 2009 13:48:40 GMT -5
I had doubted that I would have been able to hide my disappointment from Mala, she knew me far too well. What I didn't expect was her willingness to let me attend the birth. But I hid my surprise, knowing that it would hurt Mala if she felt it.
"If it's not an imposition to you Soleil, very much so," I replied, my smile turning into a hopeful grin. Maybe this meeting would end well after all.
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jun 18, 2009 17:51:55 GMT -5
"No imposition," I said, feeling rather glad that he wanted to be there. "I imagine you are not squeamish, I understand that birth can be a...messy affair."
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 19, 2009 12:56:08 GMT -5
"If you can give birth, the least I can do is be there for you," I replied, excitement of being there to see my child first enter the world stirring deep inside me.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 19, 2009 15:36:00 GMT -5
Quietly I took a deep breath, trying to control the pain that rose in me again at the happiness in his voice. It was selfish and awful but I wanted to be the only one who could ever make him sound like that.
Drawing my hand back, I folded them in my lap, my face calm as I waited for this awful experience to come to an end. It had to be over soon.
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jun 22, 2009 21:42:34 GMT -5
"Then I shall send my carriage to your home when it is time," I said decisively.
At that moment, I felt the baby give an insistent kick, and for just a second, my features twitched out of control into a grimace. I rested one hand on my belly over the tender spot. "Pardon me," I said, smiling a little. "The child is getting more vigorous by the day, and kicks often."
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jun 22, 2009 23:34:23 GMT -5
Mala pulled away and I turned to her, the excitement dissipating with guilt. I shouldn't be making this any harder on her than it had to be. But before I could apologize, Soleil jumped a little with a grimace of pain. And I was torn once again between these two women, unable to move to one because of the needs of the other.
"At least the babe is healthy," I said with a small smile, mostly as something to say.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 22, 2009 23:49:01 GMT -5
My hand moved again, reaching out to touch his arm.
“I need to go,” I said softly. “Please.”
I knew it was rude to leave already, but I just couldn’t take any more. There was nothing left right now but inane small talk and at this point I was likely to end up ripping her furniture to shreds if I had to participate in small talk right now. I had come, she and I had come to an understanding, and no one was bleeding. It was a victory for all and I needed to go.
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jun 28, 2009 23:26:09 GMT -5
I bit my tongue on the expletive that rose in my throat. By all the gods, I was having a baby and I couldn't have one lunch hour with the father of the child? I cleared my throat of the angry words. "Yes, I expect you have much to attend to," I said.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jun 29, 2009 0:40:24 GMT -5
I turned my attention to her. “No, we don’t,” I said. “I am sorry if this is rude, but I am not going to fake politeness. You are going to get honesty from me, rude or not. I am trying to handle this without flying back into the rage I felt when I first found out about you and the baby. I am not a nice person, I am not a patient person, and I am not a terribly social person anymore. There is only so much I can take and still be at least civil. I have reached my limit for this time and I would like to leave without there having been a fight or anything said that will cause lasting damage.” I stood up and took a deep breath. “If you feel up to going out, then perhaps Christophe and I could take you to lunch someday soon.”
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jul 2, 2009 22:38:16 GMT -5
Camael's forge... See, this was why I had been nervous about this meeting. Even after the first spat between them, there was always going to be more. Once more I was caught between them, not sure to stand beside Mala or stay seated. In the end I stood, because it was her that I loved and had promised to spend the rest of my life with. But I wasn't up so quickly as to cause offense. Gods this was a thin line to walk.
"Or perhaps you would like to accompany to Eisheth's sanctuary next week?" I suggested. I didn't know how either of them would take it, but it gave us the option of Mala bowing out of a future meeting if she or Soleil wished. "Or perhaps both, depending on how you are feeling of course."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jul 2, 2009 23:54:06 GMT -5
My head whipped around to look at Christophe. The shock and hurt that stabbed into me at his words so strong I knew he could see them in my eyes. I had made the overture, extended the offer to her and yet he had felt he needed to step in. he still didn’t trust me, not about this.
My eyes swept closed against the tears that wanted to rise. I would not cry in front of her. I turned back to face her, eyes open and expression smooth.
“Thank you having me in your home Marquise,” I said. “I am sorry I was such a poor guest.” Without looking at either one of them again, I moved past Christophe and headed for the door. I was utterly defeated, I had done my best and it wasn’t enough for him. There was no use trying anymore.
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Post by Soleil Belfours on Jul 4, 2009 16:40:03 GMT -5
I had been prepared to just let them go, holding in the hurtful things I wanted to say, but then Christophe spoke and Malabelle stormed out before I had a chance to say anything. I exhaled slowly through my nose. "Thank you for inviting me out with you both," I said in a low voice. "Unfortunately, I think it might not be wise for the three of us to spend overmuch time together."
I looked to him. "She is upset," I said. "Perhaps you should speak with her at home before we make plans to spend any more time together, at Eisheth's temple or otherwise. I wish to cause no more enmity between you and her."
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2009 0:15:17 GMT -5
Confound that woman! Even when I was trying so hard, there were times when I could do nothing right. My fist clenched with the effort to stop myself from running after her. As much as I loved Mala, she was not my only concern that afternoon.
"Thank you for your understanding Soleil," I said, gathering both her hands and pressing my lips to them. "Truly, I would have liked to stay longer. I shall send you a note after speaking with Mala." I smiled to her, and then took my leave, following Mala out and into the fight that we would doubtlessly hold.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2009 1:10:53 GMT -5
Out her front door and into the waiting carriage. Only the fact that they were very well trained had my footman alert and opening the door for me.
I moved to the far side of the seat, my legs tucked up underneath me, arms wrapped around myself. My head was turned to the window and I leaned my forehead against it, the tears that streamed down my cheeks wetting the glass.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jul 5, 2009 17:54:46 GMT -5
I walked steadily to the carriage, not running after her. There was a part of me that wanted to, but there was also a part of me, tired of the fighting. When the footman looked at me inquiringly, I simply said, "Straight home please." I knew he wanted to know what had upset his mistress, but I didn't know what to tell him. I didn't understand it fully myself.
I climbed up into the cab and sat beside her. Once the door was closed, I reached for her, laying a gentle hand on her upper arm. "I don't know how to make this better love. I'm trying so hard, but I just don't know."
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2009 1:55:23 GMT -5
I flinched as he touched me, I couldn’t help it.
“There is no making it better,” I whispered, tears still running down my cheeks. “I have tried my best and you still don’t trust me.” I hugged myself tighter, knees drawing closer to my body. “I promised her, in front of you, that I would never harm her or that child and yet you still feel that you have to protect her from me.” I sobbed softly. “There is nothing left to do.”
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2009 3:57:49 GMT -5
"Because I offered her a choice of outings?" I asked, my hand pulling away as if burned by her reaction. I wanted so badly to scoop her up and cradle her in my arms, but with that flinch I didn't. "I know how hard that was for you just now. I was trying to give you an out, to give you both an out, if you wanted to take it." My hands gripped the edge of the seat, needing something to hold onto, and I stared straight ahead without seeing the far wall of the cab. Kushiel damn it, but her reaction hurt. She was nearly everything to me, and I couldn't even touch her right now to give her comfort.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2009 13:11:01 GMT -5
“Everything that I am is yours. There is no part of me that belongs to anyone but you. She will always have a part of your heart, your soul. Part of you will always be hers. Even more of you will belong to that child. There is nothing I can do. I tried, so hard, to make it work but it’s not enough. It’s killing me Christophe,” I whispered before beginning to cry full out.
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Post by Christophe Legard nó Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2009 14:00:19 GMT -5
I couldn't stand it anymore, not with her crying like that. Against my better judgement, I scooped up the ball that Mala had curled herself into, and cradled her in my lap. I didn't know if she'd hit, or tell me to leave her alone, or what. But I couldn't sit idly by while she was like upset.
"I love you Mala. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. And I can't say how sorry I am that my love is dragging you through this," I whispered against her hair. Oh gods, if only there was another way. If only Mala had wanted children, or Soleil and I hadn't been successful the first time, or I took my duty to my child less seriously. But they were all what they were.
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Malabelle Shahrizai
Aristocrat
Lady of House Shahrizai
Wife of Christophe Legard no' Shahrizai
Posts: 2,756
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Post by Malabelle Shahrizai on Jul 6, 2009 14:25:16 GMT -5
I pressed my face against his shoulder and cried, feeling cracks forming in my heart; not enough to break it but enough that it would never be whole. I had done all that he asked, all that I could and still when it came to it, he protected her from me, chose her and the child first.
How had I ever been stupid enough to believe that I could have anything approaching a happy life? After everything we had weathered, I had allowed myself to feel hope for our future. I would know better now. This pain, while new and raw, was not the first pain I had known. Everyone I loved left me in some manner. I was broken and ruined and this was no more than I deserved.
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