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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 26, 2008 19:28:33 GMT -5
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault," I told her, hugging her closer. "It's mine."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 26, 2008 19:37:45 GMT -5
“No,” I protested. “It’s not your fault.”
The fog inside my mind was lifting further and I was finding it easier to think.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 26, 2008 19:41:12 GMT -5
"If I'd come sooner I could have taken you out of there before you had to experience so much pain," I replied, then forced myself into a more positive way of thinking. "But I am glad I found out now and helped before it got any worse."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 26, 2008 23:01:53 GMT -5
“They’re going to die,” I whispered, my voice catching on even that. “I could feel it Aleron.”
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 27, 2008 13:55:27 GMT -5
"Perhaps their fate will change," I offered sympathetically. "the right doctor or treatment may cross their path."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 27, 2008 18:08:13 GMT -5
“No,” I whispered. “They’re dying, soon. They are barely there anymore.” I clung tighter to him, using him as a shield against those thoughts and memories.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 27, 2008 21:03:15 GMT -5
"Then that is what must happen," I told her in a soft tone, hugging her tightly. "And thinking of it so much won't change that. I'm sorry that it hurts you, and I wish I could do something to help."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 27, 2008 22:17:25 GMT -5
“Don’t leave, not until it’s over,” I whispered desperately. “Please.”
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 27, 2008 22:26:29 GMT -5
"I won't- or you can come with me, if you like," I offered, whispering against her ear. "Distance may help as well."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 28, 2008 0:27:53 GMT -5
“I want to go, but… but I feel like I would be abandoning them,” I said, tears coming to my eyes.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 28, 2008 14:52:06 GMT -5
"Can you bring them any comfort if I stay and keep you stable?" I asked, kissing her cheek. "If so, I understand and I'll do whatever you wish."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 28, 2008 15:21:28 GMT -5
“I don’t know,” I told him, trembling at the thought of going back, at being overwhelmed by their pain again.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 28, 2008 19:24:30 GMT -5
"Is there anything you can do at all?" I whispered. "If not- it may be best to accept it, rather than driving yourself mad."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 28, 2008 19:28:00 GMT -5
“I can’t just leave them… leave Gil…” I sobbed. “He saved me from Gentian.”
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 29, 2008 8:07:11 GMT -5
"I know- but he won't have saved you from much if going back drives you to madness," I consoled. "Is that what he would want- and does he even notice you're still there somewhere in his own delirium?"
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 29, 2008 14:22:52 GMT -5
“No, he doesn’t know anything but pain,” I replied, sniffling as my nose began to run.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 29, 2008 14:40:07 GMT -5
"Then though it hurts, and though you wish it weren't so- there's nothing you can do, beloved," I told her in understanding. "And no reason to endure more than you must."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 29, 2008 15:22:02 GMT -5
I started sobbing, burying my face in his chest again. I couldn’t stay, I couldn’t make myself go, the life that had been building around me was being demolished and I couldn’t do anything to stop it or even help those who had befriended me. If not for Aleron I might have let myself just go completely mad so I wouldn’t have to face losing everything I knew all over again.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 29, 2008 20:55:15 GMT -5
Soothing her as best I could I held her and let her cry for a time, knowing that this was hard for her though I'd personally made a habit of destroying relationships behind me before I'd met Riva. "I'm sorry," I could only tell her. "I wish I could do something."
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 29, 2008 23:08:27 GMT -5
“Take me away,” I begged between sobs. “Please, anywhere, just you and me.”
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 30, 2008 13:41:16 GMT -5
Nodding, I immediately rose and offered her my hand, then changed my mind and simply scooped her up. With her held securely, head resting against my shoulder, I turned us toward the Liatris house.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 30, 2008 17:23:01 GMT -5
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my head to his shoulder as he carried me. Every step took me further from the pain and madness, but it also took me from the life I had been growing to love and been happy in until Aleron and I could be together for always. I continued to cry, though softly and filled with grief now.
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Post by Aleron Carle(Retired) on Jun 30, 2008 21:50:35 GMT -5
She was hurting so much, and it made my heart ache to hear and feel it- but I pushed that aside and kept walking, eager to get her back to my room and try to help her feel as much better as she could.
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Post by Riva Carle (R) on Jun 30, 2008 21:59:14 GMT -5
Soon, too soon, there were no more tears in me to cry and I let myself fall into a sort of haze, knowing I was safer in Aleron’s arms than anywhere else in the world.
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