A Family Lunch

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

I shrugged. "For a few weeks, it was fantastic," I replied. "He was perfect, and raw, and mad, and he made me quiver and want him direly. But he developed an interest in an adept of Valerian, something about buying her marque, and he sort of rubbed it in my face."

I thought on it. "We fought, we made up, and then there was the Wedding of Elliott L'Envers, and he was invited and I wasn't, so he went with the adept - something about mending matters with his Matriarch. I didn't see him after that... he works night shifts, and I've been trying to make amends at the salle. I've been remiss in my training."

I grinned, and added, "I'm supposed to see him tonight, though."

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

"It's a start. As I'm sure you know, the relationships people have with adepts can oft time take on different feelings than with just another peer. Understand, that to us, the marque is both a symbol, and a shackle. We aren't allowed to pursue our own interests openly while we under our respective houses. Ask yourself how the adept is, and if she deserves any less than you? Besides, it would be wrong to expect him to be loyal to you while you yourself harbor other interests. Does he know about them?"

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

I gave Vince a look of utter confusion, then stifled a growing chuckle, which bloomed into full laughter, though I kept it in check. I must have mislead him completely, or there was something wrong in… I couldn’t say what.

“Vince, I need to set you straight,” I said quietly. “The man in not an adept anymore, for one. He left his house. Secondly, I approached him in my natural, friendly way, and made it rather clear that my heart was taken, yet, for some odd reason, he kissed me, almost unbidden, and his kiss tasted like forever. And then he turned into a monster, hurt me, and told me to go home.” I shrugged. It was just a stupid kiss, wasn’t it? The more I discussed it, the less I understood why it got my breeches in such a bunch.

I crossed my arms, and added, not defiantly but almost, “As far as expecting anything from anyone, I’m pretty good at trying to avoid that, seeing as I value my own freedom. But to ask me to go to a showing with one whom he beds, and whom he isn’t particularly inclined to share with me, is another matter, if it’s Gad you are referring to. As far as any of my other dalliances are concerned, I’ve never had expectations.”

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

I paced around for a moment, mulling over her breadth of information. "Left his house, well, that certainly is interesting. At the heart, it seemed that she was at a crossroads between mere experiences, and odd emotional attachments.

"Tell me. What is the best possible outcome you could envision, could you tell me that Julie?"

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

I reclined in the chair as Vincent stood, watching him pace. Gods but he did look otherworldly, my brother, but in a beautiful, alluring way, even if a little somber.

I listened to his question, leaving my plate for good. I was done with the food. Instinctively, my legs pulled up and I wrapped my arms around my knees. I sighed, and put my head to them. In the little whole of darkness, I thought. “I don’t know, Vince,” I replied at length, looking up to talk to him.

“I really don’ t know. For all I know, I’ll never see the defunct again. Gad and Rannan seem to like me, Gad says he loves me, and I feel loyal to all of them.” I felt it was almost unfair to ask me for the future, and I looked up. “You’re the one with the gift, aren’t you better placed for such visions?”

The only thing I was certain of was that I wouldn’t get married, that I wouldn’t have children, or stay at home to knit stockings. I would go and risk my life in battle, and maybe find a glorious death.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

"Julie. It doesn't work quite like that. Besides, it's not about what the future is, but what you want. And that," I turned to her with an understanding smile, "seems to the ultimate problem, doesn't it. Do you think you would be betraying any one of them by abandoning them for any other?"

I sensed that these questions were simple, and likely already thought about. But often they don't have the same impact when discussed in one's head, and perhaps better understood when spoken aloud.

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

“Yes, I do,” I replied categorically. “And not only that, but I’d betray their trust. No-one has asked me to choose, every one seems content to share, as long as some ground rules are met.”

I shrugged, and stood as well, pacing. “Why would I have to choose? Why would I need to abandon one for the other? Elua, Vince, I’m not wife material! I’m a fighter, I’ll likely be dead, slain somewhere in ten years, and that suits me fine. I’ve no intention to light a candle to Eiseth, no intention to marry.” I gave him a wry grin. “Looks like it will be up to you to keep the line going, brother.”

Sam was a Cassiline, and at this rate, I didn’t think it would be up to Kendrick. He seemed passably adverse to another betrothal, which I understood completely.

It amused me terribly that the one who had the less interest in the House was the one more likely to maintain the line.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

I gave a soft smile at her last comment. I didn't have any thoughts about marrying, other than dedication to Elua himself. After mom died, I not sure how I felt about the house, but that's a discussion for another time.

"I suppose. though, carrying on as now will be vary percarious, you have no doubt, I"m sure. If they were simplely acts odalliance, these conflicts might not be to severe, but afixing yourself closely to a number of people so soon next to each other could have backfires. While I believe that you are sincere in your feelings, Julie, I'm not the one needing convincing. Most people who have several lover of long standing usually take them in slowly. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

I listened to my brother’s words, noting wordlessly how he ignored my comment about procreation. Inwardly, I sighed. If none of my brothers took to that particular obligation, I would make sure to carry a babe before I got myself killed, I assumed. It didn’t please me much, though, and that left me with the matter of choosing a father. That was a headache for later, much, much later, and I prayed Blessed Elua it didn’t come to that. I didn’t want to get married, I didn’t even want to be with child, even out of wedlock. I would do it nonetheless, though, for the sake of the House.

“You mean it’s usually a case of dalliances turning to something more serious gradually,” I offered after I’d pondered his words. I knew it was fast, it was so fast. “I’ve not sworn myself to Rannan de Fournier, because he didn’t ask me to,” I told him. “Gadleon Shahrizai is more demanding, and so I gave him what he asked, because he asked only that I tell him what was in my heart.” I sat, putting my head between my hands, and rubbed my face a little. “We’ll see, I guess,” I said after a while. I shrugged, “Good friends with benefits….” I said with a wistful sigh.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

I gave a sincere smile, one's I always remember from the priests, unabashed, and completly innocent. "Our little sparrow takes on the burdens of a whole village sometimes. Your tough, and strong of spirit though, so I don't worry about you to much." I said the last part with a brotherly jest.

"Feel better now?"

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

“Yes, thank you,” I replied, looking up. I hadn’t received a vote of confidence in a long time. Truth was, I’d felt utterly inadequate – I hadn’t seen Rannan since the fete at his house, and I was about to see Gad for the first time in a while. I needed to make amends for so many things… The blood I’d spilled in my fit of rage still haunted me. “I don’t always feel so strong, Vince,” I replied softly. “Thank you, for believing in me.”

I gave him a look, and said, “We haven’t spoken much of you, I’m so selfish. Tell me, what is happening with you?”

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

My thoughts drifted for a moment. "Me? I'm an adept, Julie. I'm not really prone to a lot of encounters, and events of dangerous plight and mischief."

I could tell her, but I think she might draw the wrong conclusions, at least right now. And let's be honest, I didn't have the whole situation with Aaliyah figured out myself either.

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

I laughed. “Adepts have encounters, don’t they?” I told him with a little grin. “Vince, you are an adept of the Night Court, the most prestigious guild of Naamah’s servants, and you tell me your life is boring?”

I shook my head, and gave him an affectionate look. “If you say so…” I wouldn’t push, or ask him more news. I was learning that my brothers, contrary to me, weren’t prone to confidences. Kendrick had made it clear – now Vince was doing the same. Inwardly, I shrugged. I only hoped they both knew they could trust me.

I may be a flake, I may make mistakes, but I am loyal unto death to my brothers.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

Ah, well, maybe one person could know. "If you promise to keep your lips sealed....I might be willing to enlighten you, at least a partial bit, into some things," I said, turning my back to her to hide my expression, a mix of shame, pride, fear, and happieness.

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

This was taking an unexpected turn. I was curious to know if he had had a successful assignation, if perhaps he’d made a friend. Instead, he was asking for my silence. Of course, he had it.

“It goes without saying, Vince,” I replied softly. “To no other living soul, brother.” He was turning his back to me, and I stayed right where I was. If he wanted to see my face, to look into my eyes as he spoke his confidence, he would turn.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

I turned back around, no doubt a childish grin on my face. "I had a night that was wholly of my own decision." I stated simply. It seemed so strange to take a small piece of pride in this act, considering the exploits my younger sister had clearyly outdone. Yet, somehow the place I was raised instills different laws and normalities.

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

His smile was too cute, too innocent, a tad mischievous, like the one he had when we stole dates from the kitchen, mischievous, but without ill will. It called an accomplice grin of my own, whic I simply couldn´t resist. "Oh?" I replied. "Seems like it was a good night," I replied on a friendly, observant tone.

Months ago, I would have pressed for questions, but Kendrick had taught me that discretion was really the best way. And so it was that quietly, without judgement, I said, "Well, do you want to tell me more, or will you let the suspense kill me slowly?" It was a tease, it was warm, it was light. If he wanted to leave it at that, I wouldn´t insist, but I was glad for him. He looked happy.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

For all my presence of dignity and palor, Julie had a way of getting me to let my guard down with a merest sentence.

"It's just so strange. Physically, it was nothing different. Us, both of us, trained in the motions till they were second nature, they would never appear innocent. Yet," I placed my hand on my chest, "I've tried not to think of myself as some poor sop, easily melted by emotion. Strange, isn't it?"

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

I laughed lightly, very amused. “Oh, brother,” I said gently, “You are not a poor sop, but you are a man of emotion. All of us, in this clan, experience emotions that course deep in our souls and alter the courses of our lives. Why would you be so different from those of your blood, pray tell?” I knew why. Like me, Vincent had suffered from Mother’s death. She had been the first of many partings in the history of the family.

There was her, then Leo who had gone to the brotherhood, and Vince’s own choices…. Then Kendrick’s exile to Alba, his short return, Falla’s death, and Tiger’s exile once more, to the City. I shuddered to think of the next parting to come. It would sway me again, I knew. My brothers would feel it too, I suspected.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

"I suppose. I guess I just figured as always that I was selfless, and didn't need anyone to love me that way." I shrugged, taking a seat. "Trying to be emotionally stable is harder than it seems. But....it does feel good, if a bit weird."

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

I chuckled, patting the bench where I was sitting, “Come now, Vinny,” I said affectionately, “Did you really think yourself so super human that you didn’t need to be loved in turn? Oh, but you have been apart from your family too long, brother… besides, it’s not the same, but I love you, and so does Tiger, and Father. You’ve always been loved, my quiet owl…” The latter was quietly said, but with sincere emotion. I quirked my head to the side, and asked, quietly, “Does the object of your affection know this?”

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

Yes, though sibling affection is far different than mutual intimacy. I kept that thought to myself for the time being. "Thanks." I said, responding again once she asked. "Mayhap, it's somewhat hard to gauge right now."

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

Well, that was warm enough, I scoffed to myself. Men… Inwardly, I was shaking my head, outwardly, I just smiled gently. It seemed I was the only one to take this business seriously. Oh well.

His reply, though, was more than cryptic (than again, what else to expect from my god-touched, mysterious brother?), and so I quirked an eyebrow. “Mayhap? Difficult to gauge? Come now, you’ve treated them to one of your encrypted messages, haven’t you,” I teased lightly, letting him room to explain if he wished to.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

I sighed. "Well, I don't know honestly. My limited powers of foresight don't let me know what another person thinks. If they did, I think I would be employed somewhere else, don't you think?" I said, with maybe a bit of harshness.

"Ah, forgive me. I guess, perhaps it vexxes me to not always have the answers for once."

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

Eeesh. My brother was just a little bit on the sour side, wasn’t he? “Mah,” I replied with a noncommittal shrug. “No harm done. Now… imagine what it must be like for us, mere mortals, who have never seen anything but shadows in our dreams?” I teased dramatically, trying to break the tension.

I stood, putting my hand on his arm gently, and said, “What you are telling me is that you never did say anything. Is it mutual?”

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

"Yes, yes, I believe that you could put it that way. Though, I don't think it's too much to say she..and I wanted to see each other again." I responded. For a moment, we said nothing, than I got up, my brain wracked.

"It just seems so...dangerous. I've been rebellious, but if Octavior found about this, I know he won't cut me any slack."

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

Ah, so it was a she. At least I didn’t need to trudge around pronouns anymore, I thought with some relief. Not that I cared if my brother liked boys or girls – I liked both, after all.

“It’s a start,” I replied sympathetically about his first answer, noting that he hadn’t honored my attempt at humor with as much as a chuckle. He was in deep. “Well…” I thought a moment. “What’s the worst that can happen, Vince?”

I asked practically – not trying to make it look bad, but rather to contemplate possibilities. After all, I was my brother’s sister – and if my own mind got lost in complications in the matter of the heart, I could be logical when it came to other people’s issues.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

I gave her a dire look, but quickly remembering that she didn't know.

"Much. Each house is varied in their ruling and laws, but fraternizing with an adept, especially from another house puts us both at risk. At minimum, the price of our marque could be raised, at worst it could be taken from us, never allowed to finish. For me, I'm not sure if the priesthood of Elua might still consider me then. They do not follow the Houses of Naamah and their rules, but the ties are there. Perhaps if....if our feelings were genuine, they might show pity, but at this point it is hard to say..."

I hadn't realized I'd started pacing in small circles. "As for merely disobeying the rules, that is never really looked upon as favorable."

[Julie Deveroix (D)]

It was a pity my brother wasn’t an adept of Bryony – he was facing a serious gamble, as I understood it. I nodded, taking in all that he said.

“Well…” I considered. “It sounds like it’s awfully early to speak of serious engagements, isn’t it?” I shook my head at myself, finding very ironic what I had just said. “But if you love her, and she loves you…” I made a helpless gesture. “It would be blasphemy not to follow your heart, Vince. Surely the priests of Elua know this.”

I thought of Louvel, who had so… gods, the thought of him made me shiver, and I wasn’t sure if it was desire, anger, affection, compassion, or perhaps a mix of it all. I took control - trying to analyze this experience to the benefit of my brother, and putting aside my own war on the matter. No doubt the defunct Mandrake had endured a change of life after he’d been shunned out, and it perhaps had to do with the way he’d acted. He’d appeared broken – I would hate for Vince to be broken so.

I took a breath, and said, “I understand your conundrum. Is there something I can do to help?” I asked at length, sincerely wanting to be supportive.

[Vincent nó Gentian(D)]

"I think more time is needed, and I should not be rash in my decisions." I admitted more calmly. "Love, or merely curiosity is what inspires me for the moment."

I stopped, looking at her sign of compassion. "For now, I'm afraid not, internal politics, especially in the order of Naamah, can be rather sticky business sometimes." I said with a chuckle.