Lessa and Gil: Stealing Time for Dinner

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I shook my head, and smiled. “Not at all, Lessa. I would be a cad if I didn’t understand that you have occupations as well.’” I took a sip of wine, and as I replaced the glass on the table, I added, “In fact, I owe you an apology. I have been incredibly self-absorbed recently, and have barely looked out for you. I am sorry I have put you through all this. How have you been ?”

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"No apology is needed, you've had trials of your own," I told him softly and with great understanding, then took a sip of my own wine. "I've been well enough, though nothing terribly exciting has happened."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I smiled my thanks for her patience, and rested my hand on the table. “I caught a glimpse of you at the Hunt Fete,” I said with a grin that held neither guile nor judgement. “You were beautiful, and seemed to be enjoying yourself on the dance floor.”

It couldn’t do anything but remind me of our first dinner in Marsilikos… she was so vulnerable then, so tender in her worries, the way she claimed to fear dancing. She had more assurance now.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

A flush ran over my cheeks and my smile turned more shy as I ducked my head. "Thank you," I said softly, resisting the urge to shake my hair over my face. "I did have quite a good time."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I was both amused and touched when I noticed Lessa still blushed for compliments. It was so girlish, so fetching.

I repressed any sour thoughts – they were unfair. I’d had the pleasure of Nicola, and Riva had proven a good dancing partner. “I’m glad you did,” I said with a smile. “These three days have been oddly interesting, aside from my own travails,” I mused. “Have you made any interesting encounters?”

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"I've met a few people," I admitted. "An artist named Darien Kachine was very nice and I showed him some of my birds for him to sketch and he looked over a few of my paintings as well. Has anything of good note happened to you in order to offset the bad?"

[Gillermo Stregazza]

Darien Kachine. That didn’t sound overly familiar. I nodded, making a note – good artists were a rarity these days. “I seem to be developing good relationships with my Aragonian counterpart,” I said with a smile. “He and his wife are lovely people. Have you met the Sorias?” I asked curiously. That was a good thing – I liked Tomas and Nicola, and Riva had confirmed my intuition that they were trustworthy. New friendships did deserve to be celebrated, just as the old did.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"Not formally, I'm afraid," I told him honestly, then took another sip from my glass. I was drinking slowly, careful not to have too much wine before the food arrived lest I act in an unbecoming way. "Perhaps I should. It's always good to have more friends, is it not?" At that I gave Gillermo a shy smile.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

“Yes, it is,” I replied with a smile. “Given the occasion, I will see that you meet them, if you like. The Duqesa is very friendly, and a fine mind. Her husband is quite personable as well.” Then suddenly it hit me. “ Did you say you had an aviary in the City?”

I looked at Lessa with care. She still had that edging innocence about her. It had stirred me much, once. Perhaps in time, she would again. Not now, though – I was too hurt, too raw. I’d do something wrong.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

Smiling, I nodded. "Not as large a one as I keep in Marsilikos, but I never feel quite right without my birds around and it offers me something that keeps me going into the fresh air. I've even had some herons brought in from Menheket for my garden pond."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

Her words made me dream a moment. “Such graceful birds,” I mused. “Imagine them by the Nile, as the sun sets and the feloucas slowly sail by, as lazily as possible.” The weather was so different here from that of Menekhet, that I couldn’t resist asking. “How are the birds adapting to the temperature? It is fresher here than in their usual habitat, especially now in the spring.”

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"I've arranged for an enclosure for them, and they seem to have adjusted well enough," I assured him with a calm confidence. "Some birds of the same sort have been found in Hellas, so while I don't doubt it's a change I'm sure they can be kept healthy. In winter I expect they'll fly back to the warmer climates."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

“I guess so,” I said with a smile. “I’ll admit that aside from having had the pleasure of seeing them in their natural habitat years ago, I don’t have much knowledge of birds.” I was a little bit curious, and cocked my head to the side. “This love for the birds, does it mean you wish to fly?” I asked with a grin that was a little bit teasing.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"Perhaps," I agreed, smiling shyly once again and looking down. "It would be nice to see the world from such a height."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

“Yes,” I replied with a nod. “It would. Seeing the world from such a distance… it must be both breathtaking and dizzying.” I smiled, and looked at her affectionately. “There is poetry in you, Lessa,” I said with a gentle tone.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

With a flush spilling over my cheeks I simply shook my head once even as i smiled. "I just speak- and my words at other times trip over themselves so that anything I say which makes sense seems a great deal more musical for it."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I laughed lightly. “You’re welcome,” I said softly. “I thought every word I said, you know.”

The waiter arrived with our orders, and I made a happy sound. I’d been itching for red meats since the hunt fete. It was something I wasn’t sure how to interpret – I liked them, but this new taste was… odd.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

Glancing down a bit as my cheeks flushed again, though I looked up as soon as the food was set before me and smiled my thanks at the server. The scents were amazing and I gracefully draped my napkin over my lap as I'd been taught since I was a child and picked up a delicately handled fork.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

… and I’d silenced her yet again. I tried not to sigh. It seemed every time I was honest, I made her wilt, even for a sincere compliment. I took a whiff of the food, and set down my fork.

“Have I said something to incommodate you?” I asked at length, my tone concerned. If there was something, I wanted to clear the air.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"No!" I protested softly as I looked up with a shy smile. "I only don't know how to return such a compliment and I am feeling silly for that fact. Please, don't be offended, or think me so."

Well, this meal was making both of us uncomfortable, that was certain, and that had never been my intention, nor his. We'd not spoken for some time, and I was confident that once we found common ground things would smooth between us again.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

“I’m not,” I replied with a sigh. “Only, I’ll admit that I’ve been rough around the edges lately, and now I worry that I may have lost my ability to please.” I caressed my glass, not drinking or eating for now. “You are the only one I’ve expressly told about Mirielle and I… and the end of our courtship.” Riva knew, or course, because of her talents – To-Biko had felt it. But to willingly bring it up… Lessa had been the only person to whom I’d wished to confide.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"I'm sorry it's hurt you so to have it end," I told him sincerely, even as I wondered why he'd chosen to speak to me about it first. The cynical portions of my mind had ideas, but I refused to listen- Gil wouldn't treat me in such a way, he was my friend. "And when one is hurt, it's expected that they won't be behaving at their best. I find no fault there, and I do understand."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

“Thank you,” I replied quietly. “I appreciate it. I will try my best to be my charming ordinary self, though,” I added, trying to summon a smile… and failing. Gods, but I felt like crying, and I didn’t want to. I waited a moment for the knot in my throat to dissipate, and added, “Despite all that she claims, I don’t think she ever loved me. She says she loves me, yet she refuses all that I give her, even when I shed all pride fo her. Oh, Lessa, I’m so confused, I’ve lost all ability to understand her, and women.”

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"I think, perhaps," I said carefully, knowing I may offend him but unwilling to lie, though my tone remained diplomatic and soothing, "That it's easier to believe that. Even seeing her only once I could tell she cared, at least a bit. People and time change, though. I know that myself."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

“I know,” I replied wistfully. “I wish she wouldn’t have said that, told me she loved me after she’d refused my concessions. I wish she’d lied, and told me she hated me, rather than leave me with the tortuous hope of her return.”

People and time change. It had only been a few weeks. Had she changed so drastically in so short a time? I took my glass and let a healthy swig of wine trickle down my throat. I tried not to think on it. Yet, every time golden hair passed me by, I saw her in my mind’s eye.

I wanted to forget. I wondered if I ever could, in truth. The other route was to believe she was fickle, and that was something I found difficult to swallow.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"The road such a lie would have led to is bitterness- the same as if she'd left you in the dark and stayed only out of duty while she was being torn apart," I protested gently, worried for him. "The truth is what it is, and I do not think you could ever have been become content with falsehood. It does chafe- but at least you know." The last was said with just a touch of my own sorrow and I looked away for a moment, then sipped my own wine.

[Gillermo Stregazza]

That, I could agree to. It would have been embarrassing in so many ways – it would have been painful enough to kill me. Then again, I wasn’t sure I didn’t prefer that. I shoved the thought away, remembering an oath taken long, long ago to a priestess. I had to live to fulfill it.

“Yes, at least I know.” Lessa looked away, her voice having almost faltered at the end of her sentence. Tell tale. There was something there, a personal tragedy of sorts, perhaps. Just as she hadn’t pried, I didn’t. If she wanted to speak, I would listen. I gave her a brave smile.

“You know me better than I know myself, perhaps,” I said softly. “You were…” I sighed. “You were the one person I felt I could speak to, without receiving pity, but rather friendship. Thank you.”

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

"I'm glad you feel as though I'm your friend, for I try very hard to be," I replied with a slightly jesting smile. "Truly, you have nothing to thank me for- I only wanted you to feel better and hear the truth at the same time."

[Gillermo Stregazza]

I gave her a wan smile. I wondered if I was a good friend to her. Gods, I’d only ever at all been a source of worry, had I not? “You are,” I said softly. “I hope I manage to reciprocate adequately your efforts,” I admitted. “I know I’ve been horribly self-absorbed recently, and I’m so sorry for it.”

Did I feel better? A little – at least, I’d spoken to someone. Did I feel healed? No. It would take time, much time. It was as though I’d contracted the Nile’s fever – after the onset subsisted, convalescence took a while. Still, I tried.

“Enough about me, tell me about you, Lessa,” I asked caringly. My new resolution started now.

[Lessandrie de Mereliot-Romanov]

Smiling slightly I resisted the urge to tuck my hair behind my ears, knowing better than to touch my hair or face while at the table but feeling shy at the moment underneath his scrutiny. "I've been well enough," I admitted with a sigh, though I was sincere. "Honestly, better than the last time you saw me, as I'm able to get out a bit more, though I find myself missing Marsilikos more acutely."